SWEET LITTLE LIES:

NOTES BEFORE READING:

Kayz. Despite the tag FianceShipping, this is NOT a FianceShipping piece. In fact, if anything, it is ANTI-FianceShipping (it receives the tag simply because it is somewhat centric on Asuka's feelings for Judai, only one half of the cake). If you are a FianceShipper and would not like to see your shipping totally trashed, I suggest you don't read. If you read past this point and it ruins your day and whatnot, don't blame me.

This is also a one shot, and will focus on Asuka's feelings for Judai, but have an underlying theme of "painful truth, comforting lies" with lots of (hopefully not abstract and random) symbolism and references here and there. I hope I don't lose you.

It is set, actually, in the fourth season. You can call it AU if you like: me and DigitalStarry have our little fantasy remake of GX, which among other things, has a fourth season that actually isn't cut short, ahem. We've basically set out an outline for teh show to be redone in our head. As is important to this fanfiction, Darkness is trying to take over the Academia and the ficcie begins near the end of a duel between Asuka and Yakeru (I didn't care to include the whole duel, because I didn't feel it was important). Yakeru is a servant of Darkness at this time, though he is usually part of the main protagonist cast (though we frequently have him somehow end up on the opposite side for angst reasons xD).

I would, if I ever had the time, write up our whole remake, but for now, I'm writing it in pieces. Maybe one day I'll glue them all together into one fanfiction...

In addition, yeah, I apologize for the OC, generally I don't use OCs, but feh. Originally the second character, Asuka's opponent, was going to be Yusuke. However, I couldn't see how the flashback would work if the character didn't have the memory, so I needed a character who had such a memory, and who better than the third roommate of the "SpiritShipping room" who also happens to be Judai's childhood friend. Gomen~.

I've been working on this one for awhile, since, well, Heleentje inspired me by showing me a rather nicely written ficcie about Asuka's unreturned feelings for Judai, so I wanted to give it a shot myself, and I already had this duel in my head between Darkness-aligned Yakeru and Asuka where Yakeru brings the truth down on poor Asuka.

Lots and lots of symbolism, but you have to catch it. Even the slightest details have little things hidden in them. Although, I think I've gotten a little abstract at parts, and most people won't get many of the references to non-GX material I throw in…

Characters (asterisk denotes a main character): Asuka*, Yakeru*, Judai*, Johan*, Jun, Fubuki, Darkness, Tsutomi, Darkness, Edo

Shippings involved:

Implicit SpiritShipping (and not-so-implicit at some parts)

SoulShipping if you squint

ValentineShipping, once again, if you squint… It also gets explicit mention by Yakeru in Chapter One

And, of course, FianceShipping, in its way of presence.

In addition, this story contains some homosexual content. If this offends you, please refrain from reading.

Chapter One

"I now activate the trap Etaqua Explosive Bubble. I choose effect number 2: By sending one monster on my side of the field to the graveyard- namely, my Lekunga token- I destroy one of your monsters and inflict equivalent damage to your life points. I choose the only monster on your side of the field. I destroy Cyber Prima."

Asuka's heart sank as her life points did the same. They had dropped down to 1000. Yakeru had reversed the lead.

Yakeru smirked. "Now we continue my questions of you.".

Asuka stared in horror.

Yakeru had placed his hand of cards down on his duel disk, which he promptly took off his hand and placed on the ground. Unheard of.

He walked towards her. She could hear his footsteps approaching him, like a reaper nearing its kill.

The sky was covered in clouds, except for one ray of light, which oddly shined directly in behind Asuka.

She stared at him defiantly. His golden eyes glittered evilly, the way they always did while he served Darkness.

"Why do you continue living, Asuka-san?"

Asuka wanted to scream. He had been interrogating her in such methods throughout the whole duel. Something about it... something... made her uneasy, as if he had been planning something all along. She wanted to hurt him. But she wouldn't. She was strong. She would endure it and win the duel, she told herself. She would not fall to Darkness. She would defeat it.

"Why do you keep asking me questions you should be asking yourself?"

Yakeru's eyebrows raised. Asuka couldn't help but focus on that unnatural golden color of his eyes. Yakeru's eyes were usually a beautiful, yet distant and cold light indigo. Like ice. Asuka mused to herself how this was beautiful in the opposite way from Judai's: Judai's were beautiful for being deep and light brown, with the warmth of a small flame. Warm and enthusiastic to live life. Yakeru's eyes were beautiful for the opposite reason: for always giving the impression of cool observance of elegant cold. Perhaps, such eyes would have still suited him now. Yet, they glittered with nothing but pure gold. They seemed to sparkle maliciously.

"How could you know pain, Asuka?"

Asuka nearly scoffed. She stopped herself. During the emotional intensity of the duel, she had begun to lose her composure.

"Yakeru, I don't think you could know any significant amount of pain. You are reasonably attractive. You are intelligent. You are a fair duelist. You had friends. What is it, then?"

"You remain to be so simple minded… you still can't use that head of yours, can you. You still don't get it. Those things could hardly matter."

Asuka thought, he should be greatful, that arrogant snob. As if pain made him better than her. The pressure of the duel had gotten to her though. She exploded:"You and your stupid 'pain', is it not? You and your self-pity!"

Yakeru reeled back, as if hurt, but she knew this wasn't the case. Yakeru might have been hurt. But the boy standing in front of her was not the old Yakeru, he was a tormenter and an imposter- Darkness- as well as an agent of the enemy. Darkness obviously didn't care one bit- nor was it insulted by an insult aimed at a separate entity. She felt stupid. She couldn't even remember who she was dueling.

"Ow. You've hurt my feelings, you mean, mean, bully of a girl". Yakeru made a hideous, fake pouting face - nothing the real Yakeru would've done- or was it? The current Yakeru seemed to be a mix of Darkness-influenced aggression as well as his old personality and memory. The sarcasm could have easily been the old Yakeru as well. And the cynicism, intelligence, the graceful movements, and the dueling style. Who was she dueling?

He breathed "How could you say such a thing to me...?". He threw his long locks of hair into the wind, into the rain, into the weather. He closed his eyes as he whirled his head gracefully to the side, slowly opening his sparkling golden eyes. There was something malicious about this unnatural grace. If anything, being influenced by Darkness had made him more beautiful in his movements, not less.

Then, he suddenly began to approach. Asuka clutched her breast in fear. She knew something was coming. Her long locks of light brown hair danced on her shoulders and back as she shivered. A chill ran down her spine as Yakeru slowly moved toward her. Asuka's hazel eyes trembled within their sockets.

Suddenly a sharp pain hit her. She shut her eyes and screamed and wailed from it. Her chest felt as if it had exploded. Her graceful, effeminate, perfect form crumpled and she fell to the ground, moaning and screeching with pain. Her breathing was hard and unsteady.

Then, she opened her eyes. Yakeru's fist was out, tight in a ball, punching a spot above where she now sat. Her form, usually taller than his, moved its head. She looked up. She realized that where he had punched was her breast.

The pain Asuka had felt in her body had been so widespread and so intense that she hadn't realized where she had been hit. Yakeru was a bastard, truly a bastard.

"You! You… how dare you…"

Yakeru's response was calm, composed. "I wanted you to feel that pain. That hell. That feeling of emptiness in your stomach. The unbearableness. Have you felt it?"

"I feel more like my chest has exploded.", the victim stated bluntly.

"Ah, I knew. Did you forget that I can see in your mind? Perhaps I should inflict more to get the point across."

"You wouldn't dare..." Asuka breathed.

Yakeru laughed. "Oh, no. I won't be inflicting it there any more. Too much of a target, too easy."

In spite of Yakeru's blatant sexual harassment of her, Asuka was relieved, almost thrilled. For such a slender boy, Yakeru had packed quite a punch. It wouldn't be happening again, at least for now.

"Don't be too happy. What you will feel soon is more like what I've felt. In fact, it is just so much worse than that in every way."

Asuka could not imagine what he was talking about. Was "it" what she would feel, or what he had felt? And was the other "that", or was it something else.

"Asuka, do you have any dreams?"

Asuka attempted not to respond, not to even think about a response, but thoughts flooded into her head.

"Don't forget that I can see in your mind. Even if you don't say it, what you try to hide, I will know."

Asuka refused to believe this definitely obvious farce, yet she, in spite of herself, felt she knew it was true. "I want to become a teacher at Duel Academy, so that I may teach future generations of duelists and nurture their growth."

Yakeru's palm abruptly struck his temple. He laughed. "Haha~. Not what I meant. But, indeed, I believe, as I have believed, that you do intend to nurture- babies."

Asuka was furious.

"You want them to be Judai's babies, no? I think I believe I can easily imagine you daydreaming up something like that."

Asuka cringed. Yakeru was right, not by his supernatural powers given to him by Darkness, but by his own intuition. Now he had confirmed it with his mind reading.

"I see I was right. Do you understand how utterly pointless having a dream like that is?"

"How is it pointless?" Asuka asked in defense of herself.

"Because no matter how hard you try, how high you bounce your boobs as you walk by him, how many times you flirt, how many times you wink at him, he won't return such affections."

"Why not?"

"To put it frankly- you aren't his type."

"Not his type... than I can change to become his type..."

The response hit her like a knife. "So you intend to change your gender?"

Each word penetrated her like a dart after dart and cut like icicles. Her response failed to reach her lips as she continued to inhale breath.

"I repeat my original question: why do you continue to live?"

Asuka's breath did not stop inhaling. She was strong. She could take this, for sure. Yes, definitely she was strong. However, despite being strong…

"How do you know, Yakeru-kun? How do you know for sure? Why can you just say so certainly that…"

Yakeru looked towards the sky and then back at her. His expression was solemn, calm, just as before, yet now, it seemed his aggressiveness had abated. He looked… more human, in a way. Then Asuka realized why. His eyes had reverted back to their usual color.

"I've known Judai for… how long? Let's see… about… thirteen or fourteen years now."

"But does that really matter? Would you really know what he likes? I've known my own brother for my whole life, and still can't make up my mind on whether he actually likes any of the girls he sees so commonly and which ones."

"A brother and a childhood friend are different relationships. The latter involves much more mutual understanding, unless of course, the two are overlapping."

Asuka was somewhat relieved. At least, for this moment, the level of emotional intensity had calmed down. Yakeru seemed almost sympathetic to her.

"You've always liked him, haven't you? You admired how competitive he was, yet how he respected his opponent so much at the same time. You liked his thick hair, his tan skin, his soft brown eyes, and his eyelashes. You liked how he always won. His energy. He's like the sun, radiating light and warmth, is he not?"

Asuka said nothing, but she knew it was true.

"But he is like the sun in many other ways too. The light he gives off serves to blind as well, as we see very clearly with you. When the sun is out, you cannot see the moon, cannot see the night, and cannot see the stars.

"If only you could see the moon. You would see that the moon too, can be beautiful just as the sun is. But no, you absorbed yourself in the lie.

"No matter how the heliotrope desires it, the flower cannot reach the sun. The sun is distant, and unreachable, it is beyond the sky.

"Meanwhile, you could have been returning Manjoume-kun's affections. He is, indeed, quite an attractive guy. There are plenty of girls who would want to have him. But instead, he is bent on you, just like you are bent on Judai.

"However, just like you are for Jun, Judai is hopeless for you to have. Hopeless."

Asuka had to rebut him. She didn't like him stating all of this in her face. "How can you just say that? How can you just say its hopeless…!".

If Yakeru couldn't understand her (and she hoped with all her heart he couldn't), Asuka didn't understand herself anymore either. Why was this making her so flustered? Judai was only a boy she wanted, and that wasn't her whole life, was it? Wait, he's the only boy I want, Asuka thought, but she hastened to correct herself, to keep herself strong: only a boy I want. Not my life.

"I see that me telling you with my words doesn't work. I will have to give you a certain memory".

Before she could respond, suddenly, Asuka was Yakeru. It was difficult to explain, but somehow, reality had been morphed.

Not the current Yakeru, but the one of the earlier part of the senior year.

She thought it was odd to be Yakeru. It was almost as if her body had changed. She could not only see what Yakeru saw at the moment, but she was Yakeru. She felt what Yakeru had felt. Heard what Yakeru had heard. Smelled what Yakeru had smelled (which was nothing at the time). It felt different to be in Yakeru's body. Heck, it would feel different to be in the body of any male. But she felt Yakeru's soft teal bangs and sideburns on her face, and the single, longest strand on her back. She did not feel the hair on her back like when she was Asuka, Yakeru's hair hung above his shoulders. Her back felt oddly bare without her hair falling onto it. She felt Yakeru's eyelashes as she opened her heavy eyes. They must have been longer than hers, as odd as it seemed.

But she also felt something else as Yakeru- aside from the physical differences. Uneasiness in her chest. In her mind. Or, to be more correct, his mind. Fear, maybe? But of what, she did not know. All she knew was that it felt like something was creeping up on her- something she didn't want to reach her.

It was night. She was in bed- Yakeru's bed of course. Though Yakeru had been in Obelisk Blue at the time, as he was for the overwhelming majority of his time at Duel Academia, he had, in the third year, slept in the same room as Judai, apparently on the top bunk. This was due to some arrangement because apparently, with recent promotions and the new transfer students coming at that time and sleeping in Obelisk Blue, the boys dorm of Obelisk Blue was, in fact, overpopulated. Yakeru, sick of the constant noise in the highest dorm had volunteered to sleep in the Red dorm, landing himself in the one room with two vacancies- Judai's.

There was one other person who slept in that room though, on the botton bunk (Judai's was in the middle), and the significance of his identity finally hit Asuka- Johan Andersen.

And that'll be the first chapter. I think it may add up to about 3 chapters, it'll remain relatively short... So, uh, Read and Review, and I hope my first serious attempt at a story didn't turn out that bad... I hope you enjoyed~.

I probably won't get the next chapter up for awhile though (schoolwork, blah...).

Also, credits to LC (DigitalStarry here) for proofreading and giving advice~. I really appreciate it^^.