All chapters have been written to the fabulous Ani DiFranco. Each chapter is titled after one of her amazing songs. Check her out if you haven't already...

both hands now use both hands oh, no don't close your eyes i am writing graffiti on your body i am drawing the story of how hard we tried i am watching your chest rise and fall like the tides of my life, and the rest of it all and your bones have been my bedframe and your flesh has been my pillow i am waiting for sleep to offer up the deed with both hands-Both Hands, Ani DiFranco

Olivia was comfortably lounging on a well-cushioned wicker couch that was placed on her large wrap-around porch. She wore a long, white bohemian shirt with flowers embroidered along the collar line and a brown pair of baggy hemp pants. Her feet were bare and her hair was long and loose down past her breasts. Her eyes and skin glowed.

She stared out at the beautiful neighbourhood surrounding the home. Children jumped rope as parents lounged with large glasses of lemonade in hand and sunglasses perched on their heads.

Olivia adjusted herself on the couch to make herself more comfortable and then placed her hand on her pregnant belly. She turned her head to the door that was beside the arm on the couch she rested on. The doorknob turned and Elliot walked onto the porch from the main house. He leaned down to kiss the top of Olivia's head.

"Hey baby." Olivia whispered and raised her hand up, all the while keeping one hand on her small stomach. She pulled Elliot down, leading him with the lightest touch of her fingers, to her lips. She captured him fully with her mouth. When their lips separated he rested his forehead against hers and they both closed their eyes.

"God, I needed that..." he whispered. Olivia kissed him once more before fully separating. She then raised her back up from the arm of the couch and Elliot smoothly slid in behind her. He spread his legs and bent them akimbo so his broad chest became her new resting place. He wrapped his arms around her chest and kissed the top of her head again.

"Bad day?" she asked.

"The worst. Fin and I had a 12 year old. She wont give in to telling us who her attacker is."

"So, she knows who it was."

"I know." he whispered.

"I wish I could have been there." she sighed.

Elliot smiled. "Well, maybe if you hadn't gotten the flu, Cap wouldn't have sent you home for a week."

Olivia smiled faintly. Right at that moment she wished she were suffering from the flu.

"The guys asked if I had seen you today. I told them I called but you were sleeping."

Olivia nodded and stared down at her hands.

"But my official line is that I'm here bringing you chicken noodle soup. Are you feeling any better?"

Olivia nodded. She stared down at her stomach. Was it noticeable? Could the blind eye tell that a life was growing inside her? How was she going to deal with this? She was supposed to have the flu. Not have morning sickness from carrying her partners' child. The partner she had been secretly sleeping with for almost a year. How was she going to explain a baby to her captain and co-workers? To the IAB? To Elliot? The fear Olivia was feeling filled her throat.

"You're quiet..." Elliot pointed out.

"Sorry." Olivia rested her head in the space between his shoulder and chest. She felt like she was in a shell of comfort and love when he held her.

"Olivia, what's going on?"

Olivia sighed. "I'm just- trying to figure a few things out right now..."

She could feel Elliot's body stiffen under hers.

"Do I need to be concerned? You're not planning on running off with the FBI again, are you?"

Olivia laughed. "No. I'm not going anywhere."

Suddenly, Elliot's cell phone rang. He sighed and Olivia groaned. She placed her hands on his knees while he answered his phone.

"Stabler." Olivia pressed her lips into Elliot's flexed bicep. She felt a small shiver down her spine when she breathed in his scent.

"Hey Munch. Yeah, I just got here. I'm not sure. I can check." Elliot moved his phone away from his face and leaned down to whisper in Olivia's ear. "There's an emergency with the Maura Rouge case. They're wondering if you're feeling well enough to come in."

Olivia looked down at her stomach and closed her eyes. She could do this. She nodded to Elliot.

"Let's go."

~*~

"You feeling better Olivia?"

"I'm fine Captain."

"Good. We need all hands on deck for this one. The police who responded to a disturbance call found a body that had been raped and beaten. Upon further investigation the officers found movie equipment and a script entailing exactly what had happened to the Victim. The police identified the Vic as Maura Rouge."

"Somebody took their project way too far." Fin commented.

"Yeah, and now the director has finished a sequel." Munch threw in his two cents.

"Liv? You okay?" Attention shifted to the chalk-white Olivia. She was clutching to the side of her desk, swaying slightly. "Liv?" Elliot placed a hand on her back and positioned his other hand in front of her to cling to and support her weight.

"I- I need to go lie down…" Olivia whispered. Elliot shot Cragen a terrified look. The Captain nodded for Elliot to take her away. Olivia tried to stand with no support but she fell into Elliot's body. "Come on Liv." He led her slowly away from the squad room. She clung to his body. She was frustrated. The nausea and dizziness took over her mind and she didn't see that Elliot had led her to the elevator. He led her inside and pressed the button for the garage. The dizziness passed and Olivia was able to focus on her surroundings.

"Elliot- where are we going?"

"I'm taking you to the hospital."

Olivia turned whiter and shook her head while pressing the up button repeatedly. "I'm not going to the hospital."

"Liv-"

"No El."

"Liv, you've been sick for the past couple weeks. What if it's something serious?"

Olivia stared into Elliot's terrified eyes. She felt tears spill out of her own. She couldn't go to the hospital. Elliot would be so hurt if Olivia said she didn't want him in the exam room with her. Her secret would be revealed.

"Elliot, I don't need to go to the hospital. I know what's making me sick…"

The look of confusion on Elliot's face was almost too much for her to bear. The tears rolled down her cheeks freely.

"Liv, you're starting to scare me. Are you okay?"

Olivia wiped the tears from her face but they continued to rain from her chocolate browns. "I- I don't know what to-" she started before being cut off by a sob that caught in her throat. She tried vainly to maintain her composure, "Elliot- I'm pregnant."

The silence that rang in her ears made the tears pour even more.

"El- say something… Please. Elliot- come on." She sobbed.

Elliot let out a deep sigh. He rubbed his forehead with both hands in the frustrated fashion he frequently used when a perp had evaded him. "I- I don't know what- uh, what are we… what's the plan?"

Olivia crossed her arms over her chest, "I don't know. I'm so scared Elliot. I just don't know anymore. I can't do this alone." Her voice wavered from the un-surfaced tears in her throat.

"So… we're doing this?" He asked. Olivia stared at Elliot in shock.

"I- I didn't think you would be okay with any alternative- but I'm not sure how I feel if you are." Olivia started to turn away from Elliot and head into the garage. He followed her quickly and grabbed her wrist.

"Liv! Liv! Wait. I wouldn't be okay with it. I just thought that- I was afraid that you wouldn't care if I was okay with it."

"Elliot, we've know each other for twelve years. We are a team. I never make a decision without thinking about how it will effect you emotionally, physically and psychologically. Elliot- I need to know if we are in this together or if I am going to face this alone."

Elliot placed both hands on her shoulders and lowered his body slightly so he could gaze straight into her eyes. "Liv- I am in shock. I'm terrified. I'm confused. But I'm happy. I'm excited. It's unbelievable. But Liv, you know me. I'm a detail guy. I mean- It was hard enough to hide our relationship for this long. We were smart and we took space when we needed to. That's the reason we kept your apartment… We thought everything out. My kids think I'm celibate… Never mind some of the ideas Munch and Fin have come up with." Elliot paused to gather his thoughts when he realized he was rambling, "I just don't see how we can hide a baby from everyone."

Olivia smiled at her partner. He looked adorable in his confused, concerned state. "Babe, I don't think we can hide the baby… When I start to expand like a balloon there may be some raised eyebrows."

Elliot's face relaxed and then tensed again. "So you're saying we tell everyone?"

Olivia squeezed his arm to reassure him. "Not right away. This is a lot to adjust to… I want to wait a while, to make sure that this is going to happen. Make sure everything is okay with me a the baby. And we have to prepare for an IAB investigation… even the possibility of losing our jobs. There are two possibilities I've thought of… We tell everyone before I have to go on maternity leave and we deal with the shit storm together. Or we can keep it quiet and I'll announce that I'm going on maternity leave. You can stay at work…"

"And we just don't tell our child that I'm his or her father?"

"Of course we do Elliot! But that's wont come up for a while… And maybe by that point it will be time for us to move on from SVU…"

"I- I need to think about this…"

Olivia nodded. She was relieved that Elliot had responded positively.

"So… we're doing this." Olivia whispered. Elliot nodded and smiled. He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head.

"We're having a baby…" his smile came through his voice.

"We're having a baby." Olivia happily confirmed.

~*~