Strange, but… True?

He had been waiting a very long time for this. A very, very long time. A very, very, very…

Oh, never mind. He had waited a long time, and leave it at that.

And today was the day. His coronation day, to be precise. Well, it was supposed to be Aragorn's coronation, but that would change soon.

No one had ever suspected him… at least, of anything more than mischief. Thus, he had held a position of trust in the scheme of things ever since this whole business about destroying the Ring had started. And before Frodo had left the rest of the Fellowship, he had made sure that he'd replaced the real Ring with a fake one. Well, it wasn't a fake, really – it just wasn't a Ring of Power. The Ring looked like any other normal ring, so it was easy enough. Now if he had made the Ring rather than Sauron, he would have made it very fancy – so many jewels that you could hardly see the band!

Because of the Ring switch, he wasn't quite sure why Mordor still collapsed when Gollum fell with the fake into the lava. Maybe Sauron had a heart attack – umm, eye attack – just thinking that his Ring had been destroyed. He chuckled at that thought. No, cackled was more the word. A villain just wouldn't be a villain without one little cackle.

Using the Ring, he'd managed to brainwash both Gondorian and Rohirrim soldiers, no problem. They all answered to him now, not Aragorn or Éomer or Faramir. Or Gandalf, either.

Gimli was bringing out the crown. Almost time. Bringing it to Gandalf. Almost…

He gave it to Gandalf. Now!

He took his horn and blew it. Immediately, the soldiers came out of their alert stance and moved in on Aragorn and the rest.

"What is this?!" Gandalf thundered.

"You are under arrest," Captain Beregond told him in a monotone. Hmm, the monotone must have been an aftereffect of the brainwashing.

He strode calmly to Aragorn and Gandalf. Gandalf looked thunderstruck; Aragorn looked bewildered. "What is going on?" Aragorn asked him.

"What is going on," he replied, drawing Andúril out of its sheath and pointing it at Aragorn, "is an act of succession." He nodded to his second-in-command, who nervously took the crown from an astonished Gandalf's hands.

"You… you…" the wizard spluttered.

He waved away the words with a languid gesture. "Take them away," he ordered.

So much commotion. Most of the Fellowship and royalty were taken away – well, Frodo, Sam, and Éowyn were left alone. As far as Éowyn went, he had put a lot of personal effort in keeping her alive. So she was a little tall to be his queen, but maybe they could still be friends.

It had actually been easier than he had hoped for, thank goodness. Or badness. The only little issue was his still-nervous right-hand… hobbit.

"Aww, Merry, I still don't know about this! And I don't believe you do, either! What do you know about ruling Middle-Earth and all? What do I know about being a Witch-King…" Looking down at the floor, Pippin bit his lip and tapped a furry foot. "Would I get a Fell Beast to ride and maybe one of those big black cloaks, too?"

"And mushrooms," Merry reminded him. "Don't forget the mushroom fields."

"Count me in," Pippin said quickly.

Just before Afternoon Tea, the people gathered again at the top tier of Minas Tirith to see the coronation. Everyone but Frodo, Sam, and Éowyn cheered. Oh, those three would get over it in time. Frodo was kin, Sam was sensible, and Éowyn… she owed him one, anyway.

Lord Peregrin Took, Witch-King of Tookburough, set the beautiful winged crown upon Meriadoc Brandybuck's head. It was not the greatest fit – they would have to size it down for a hobbit's head later. But High King Meriadoc stepped forward and managed to lift the heavy Andúril up in a sign of victory. The people cheered even louder.

Long live King Merry!

I don't own LotR - blah, blah, blah...

This was inspired by a Star Wars fanfic I once read on (I think it was called "A Fractured Reality"): R2-D2 and C-3PO taking the place of Merry and Pippin and Luke and Mara's wedding taking the place of Aragorn's coronation. It wasn't long before I thought of using that plot with Merry and Pippin, and I think it turned out great! I first wrote it for .com, specifically for Issue #3 of Realmer's Digest.

Hope you laughed! R&R!