Summary- Because when they married, he didn't really know how to be, but she had eternity to teach him, even though it only really took a year. Sasuke/Sakura. First year married.

&disclaimer is applied.

I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you ~brandi carlile, "the story"

~The Story~

1.

It's been less than fifteen hours since they got married. And she's lying beside him feeling like she never felt before because she doesn't feel unfinished or wanting or wishing for anything. Her wedding dress is still loosely hanging over a chair and so is his suit and she can't help but think how no one thought they'd get married. It wasn't right off the bat when Naruto dragged him home and she didn't shun him like how he deserved because she couldn't when all she wanted was what she lost, but that wasn't planning on coming back because too many people had died and too many people had sacrificed and too many times had she cried. She didn't really say a word when they saw each other; she just did her job and healed his wounds, but she was sure he noticed that she didn't pop any bones into sockets because she'd rather heal it so it didn't hurt.

It'd been two years after he came back and they weren't dating or engaged, but they'd kissed a few times and occasionally hugged, but that was what she expected because the Sasuke she knew wasn't more or less than that when they weren't even together. And when he asked her to marry him on the Team 7's bridge right after a mission, she was still exhausted and sweaty and tired and could've been annoyed he hadn't asked at a more appropriate time, but she instead looked at him because he was exhausted and sweaty and tired, too. And she thought that it was sweet and wonderful that he spouted it out like he couldn't wait any longer. So she said yes and told him she loved him, and when he didn't kiss her or tell her he loved her back, it was okay because she knew he did, he just didn't know how.

And it really was okay because when he came to pick her up after work the next day, he had a ring in one hand with the words he couldn't ever seem to say when he needed to.

She thumbed the ring in her hand, and reminded herself that things wouldn't be easy for Sasuke when he had been away for so long and been without anyone every since he could remember. So when he started having a nightmare, she tried to calm him down by running her hands through his hair, and when he woke up and saw her in his bed and nearly fell off the bed in surprise, she reminded herself that it was okay because he'd get better and because they had all the time in the world to be together.

2.

It's been a week since they got married. She still wakes up before him, running her hands over his temples as he has his nightmares, trying to calm him down so he won't wake up in a cold sweat like she's pretty sure he has been doing since he was eight. So she lies there, covering herself with the comforter, watching his eyebrows twist and his mouth grimace until he slowly stops, his breathing leisurely steadying itself. She keeps her hand in his hair, and his eyes flutter open before snapping back shut; and he moves like he's going to flip onto his side, but halts as he feels her next to him. He opens his eyes abruptly and he looks almost surprised at seeing her there, and she feels a little bit of sadness pool in her insides because she wants him to want her there like she always wants him around, but she corrects herself because she knows that he's gone his whole life living alone and that he's not used to anyone else being there.

But it still doesn't help the tiny fragment of ache that plunges down into her heart even though she knows why and even though he quickly shuts his eyes as if thinking that of course she's there, but he still doesn't really say a greeting and as much as she can understand, she doesn't really because she wants to know if he needs her like she needs him.

Then he looks at her with an expression she can almost read and he leans over out of the bed while grabbing some shorts, and she silently falls back onto the pillows for only a moment; but she misses him glancing back with a longing look because it was only a moment and that was all they had.

3.

It's been a month since they got married and he still doesn't say good morning and smile like she does him, but she thinks that she appreciates what he does just as much. Because when she knows he had a meeting with his ANBU squad, but left early so he could take her out to eat after work so she doesn't have to cook after hours and hours and hours of hospital duty, she feels her smile creep onto her face and she thinks she sees his eyes light up a little bit; so she takes his hand and leans onto his arm, and smiles wider because from then on, he'd always offer his hand right away, and she knew he wouldn't if he didn't like it.

4.

It's been about two months since they got married and he still doesn't say good morning, so when one day he wakes up after he calmed down in the middle of his nightmare, she can barely hold in her surprise as he leans toward her and kisses her on the forehead and murmurs something that sounds a lot like a good morning. He moves his lips down to hers and she wraps her candle like arms around his neck and kisses him hotly. And when she's already late for work and has to take a shower on top of that, she knows that that was the best good morning she'd ever gotten; and she has a smile on her face, and she thinks she saw one on his' too.

5.

It's been almost four months since they got married. And he's on a mission and she's worried sick because he's been gone for two weeks and is four days late already. She hasn't vocalized her anxiety but Naruto and Tsunade and Kakashi all know, so when they tell her that they're sure he's fine, she knows they're just saying that to comfort her, but it doesn't stop her from taking comfort in it because it seems like forever and a year since she's seen him. She waits up at night on the couch in the room next to the door and prays he's okay because she's loved him since she was twelve and couldn't imagine life without him.

And when the door quietly swings open at three o' clock in the morning, she's wide awake and running to the door, and she has him in her arms within a half a second of seeing him. But she's not sure who's hugging whom because his grip is tight and desperate and he hasn't said anything, but he doesn't really need to. So when he lets go to look at her, she stands on her tiptoes and kisses him immediately and says that she loves him. She stops after she says it because it seems like it's been so long since she's told him that she says it again and hugs him once more.

She pulls her arms back so she can lead him to the couch and check any wounds, but he just pulls her back so her head is on his chest again with his arms around her tiny waist, and he brings his mouth to her ear and kisses her, but she specifically heard him say that he missed her and that he loved her. And she feels silly as tears prick her eyes because she knows that, but she also knows that she'll never get tired of hearing him say it.

6.

It's been five months since they got married and she feels oddly mischievous as she wanders throughout the house looking for her husband, only to find him uncharacteristically sitting in one of the rocking chairs on the porch. She really can't help herself as she swerves around the rocking chairs to his and plops down onto his lap sideways. She leans into his chest and places an arm around his neck and keeps smiling as she feels his arm go around her waist. But she suddenly she just feels so tired from yesterday and so very comfortable right now, so she lays her head onto his neck and falls asleep faster than she probably ever has before.

And when she wakes up the next morning not alone and in the same position as yesterday even though she knows that he had a mission briefing last night, she smiles and kisses him awake for the next three days.

(Even though she doesn't know that his parents did that when he was young or how much it means to him to have what they once did.)

7.

It's been seven months since they got married and she has a solo mission. It's to the Wind country as a assassin of one of the most powerful medical ninjas in all the ninja lands and Tsunade explains a million times that there's absolutely no one else who could do it or that has enough medical knowledge to stand as an equal. She's okay with it because she understands her duty and she's studied the security patterns and everything about him, so she knows she can handle it.

And Sasuke's there when Tsunade tells them about it and he knows that she's the strongest kunoichi in the village, but he even startles himself as he looks up at Tsunade and opposes the idea. The Hokage glares at him infuriated, but he thinks that she should know that he would disagree and should've expected it. And he thinks she does as she catches herself and looks at him again, but with a different tone. She repeats that there's no one else and that's she's sorry that it had to be Sakura, but that Sakura's well qualified and will do fine. So he sighs and accepts what he has to, but that doesn't stop him from having the worst two weeks of his life; and when she comes home, tired, but successful, she finds him on that same couch with black rings under his eyes and looking like he lost fifteen pounds.

8.

It's been almost eight months since they got married and Sakura has a secretive smile on her face as she's softly rubbing his hair, and when he wakes up and looks at her with a confused face, she smiles even wider. He glances at the clock and its three hours past the time he should've been at the Hokage's Tower and he almost forces his tired self out of bed, but he hears her giggle, so he stops and looks at her. She laughs again and explains that she got a day off for the two of them from Lady Tsunade and feels even happier at the definite smile on his face as he pushes her further into the covers and kisses her sweetly before promptly passing out again.

9.

It's been ten months since they got married and they're both in Grass and soaked to the core with rain and blood and up their ears with enemy ninja. It's coal black and she can't see like he can, but they've taken out almost two hundred ninja, she knows. She's focusing on the thumping of their feet on trees and the sharp whir of metal flying through the air and is fighting as well as any ANBU would when it was light, but it's still been hours since either one has rested and she's steadily getting closer and closer to having to use her chakra reserves.

Her hair's sticking to her face in thick clumps because of the rain, but it doesn't matter at all because she can't see anything through the nearly suffocating blackness, anyway. And she hears his katana hit another and mentally counts to herself and thinks there can only be around twenty more. Sending five regular senbon into the trees since she used up all her poison what seemed like ages ago, she distinctly heard the gasping of the men and a series of thumps on the forest floor. She briefly allows herself to think where it hit them because she's seen so much pain in her life that even when she has to take multiple lives, she doesn't want to put them in pain because that's just who she is.

And blood splatters onto her neck as she dodges a falling body clumsily slumping downward into her direction and she picks up the slicing sound of a familiar sword on at least ten ninja. Not having any more weapons, she resorts to crouching and swinging a strong leg at the chest of the man coming at her front. He's knocked back as he coughs up blood; the blow straight to his chest shocking his heart, he crashes down into the ground littered with long dead bodies. She hears Sasuke finishing the remaining ninja and she subconsciously leans onto the tree behind her and the rain is still coming down relentlessly, pouring down her face and running off her chin. Blood starts to run down her front with the rain just as Sasuke leaps to the tree she's in and she looks at him tiredly because that's all she can really manage and is confused at the peculiar look in his eye. She glances down and sees all the blood dripping off her and puts the two together, but as she motions that it's not hers, she doesn't try to stop herself from taking special notice of the instant relief washing over his paled, drawn face and the way his body seemed to ease all over.

And it rained nearly all the way home and by the time they got there, they were both still soaked and grimy and covered with dirt, but she had hardly even stepped through the Konoha gates when she felt his chest against hers and his hands in her hair and an all-too-familiar kiss on her lips. Their skin was hot with sweat but she still shivered as she felt his hands pull up the edge of her shirt, running over her drenched, feverish skin; and he tugged her up onto his hips and she couldn't hear clearly through the beating rain, but his voice was soft and loving to her ears. And she didn't care one bit that it was two in the morning or that now they probably wouldn't get to sleep until four when she felt his lips open and his hands pull together and their bed suddenly beneath her back.

And she woke up the next day in the same position she fell asleep in with her head on his bare chest and his arms secure around her slim waist and his head still on top of hers because he hadn't dared let go of her all while they were sleeping. So when she gently wakes him up, he doesn't sleepily open his eyes and look half-startled that she's there, but they groggily refuse to open until they abruptly awake and search for hers. And she looks up at his eagerly awake eyes and rubs his still damp hair from the shower; and she motions to the red numbers on the clock, 10:27, because she intends to use all the extra time they have because he's holding her like he thought he lost her and like she's the most important thing that he's ever had. And he gazes at her with onyx colored eyes and she can't quite read them because even though she probably knows him better than anyone, he's still Sasuke and knows just how to mystify and irritate and confuse and infuriate her to her limits, but he kisses her on the forehead and continues holding her and she thinks she gets the idea.

10.

It's been a year and almost fifteen hours since the very moment they got married. And she feels herself leaving her dreams and her hands move around by themselves looking for the male beside her, skimming across the silk, blue fabric of the robe he gave her to replace the old one until finally resting on his chest. Her eyelids flutter open sluggishly and she rolls more onto her side and angles her head toward his as she licks her slightly dry lips from sleep. She pulls up her eyelids by raising her eyebrows and she hears an almost inaudible grunt that sounded more like a sharp laugh than anything. She opens her eyes and is a little disbelieving as Sasuke watches her with amusement in his eyes and face. She glances at the clock to see if she overslept but faces him again; it was the first time in a year he was awake before her. She looks at him suspiciously and asks what he's up to, but he rolls his eyes and kisses her on the lips. She pulls away thoughtfully and then asks if he had a nightmare, but he shakes his head and leans onto hers; she hears him pause and then murmur that they're a lot less often and she smiles into his hair. She takes his hand and rubs it in hers as she sits up in the bed, the picture of blue, red, and white claiming the back of her robe distinctly. And he tugs her back down and kisses her with his hands running through her hair and she hears him whisper that he loves her and she says it back and he doesn't really have anymore words but that's fine because she's the one who wakes up next to him every day and the one he walks home from work and the one he lets occasionally boss him around and the one he says he loves and the one he dreams about and even though he doesn't have the words she'll always be the one to wake him up from nightmares and bother him about not sleeping enough and doing too much even though she's guilty herself.

And she thinks that she doesn't have some great fairytale, love story ending, but she's happy and he loves her and she gets to kiss him whenever she wants to and tease him about all the tomatoes she has to buy at the grocery store and wake up to him and his ruffled hair and sleepy eyes every single day.

And that's more than either one ever imagined.

a/n.
hope you liked it, people! drop a review? xD

pea ess: how about checking out 'themes of life' and 'refuge'?