All They Want For Christmas

by Taranea

Chapter 1: Secret Santa. So not a good Idea.

"Ooooh, just look at those! Aren't they the cutest thing ever?!"

Amy was currently pressing her nose flat against the icy shop window, and it was hard to tell whether her eyes or the displayed jewellery were shining more brightly.

"You do have taste, girl…" The white bat next to her muttered, her appreciative smile signaling that she also liked what she was seeing. (The only difference being that Amy's stare just said I want them, while with Rouge it was more of a by 3am tonight I'll have them-kind of thing.)

The pink hedgehog, however, wasn't really listening anyway. Turning around to the person standing behind her, she giddily asked:

"Are you going to get me one of them for Christmas?!"

"Uh…Amy…" The other hedgehog shifted uneasily as he beheld the girl, her gloved hands clasped in front of her chest almost like a child praying, while the somewhat deranged/worrying grin on her face belied the otherwise almost angelic impression.

But even if with those snowflakes in her quills she looked quite…cute…he felt like he had to point out the obvious.

"Amy, these are…wedding rings."

Which didn't seem to bother her.

"I know - my darling Sonikku!"

The addressed hedgehog sighed.

"No, Amy. Not this Christmas, not next year."

"Aww…but I already told the shop owner which pair he should reserve for you when you came!"

"You did what?!"

A collective sigh escaped the others as they were standing on the snowy sidewalk and listened to an all-too-familiar exchange.

"Should we ditch them and walk on to the mall?" Rouge asked, Tails looking vaguely hopeful at this prospect.

"I vote yes," the third hedgehog standing next to her replied, a surly expression on his face.

"But Mr. Shadow!"

Shadow cringed. 'But Mr. Shadow!' was something he had already heard what seemed like three hundred times today, and each time it had been followed by a lecture of why you should be nice, happy, and save whales on Christmas. (or something along those lines. He hadn't really listened whenever she started talking, come to think of it.) Sure enough, Cream didn't disappoint him this time, either.

"We're going together to get Christmas gifts, Mr. Shadow! And if you just leave your friends behind like that and don't care about them, Santa in the mall won't give you a present!"

The black hedgehog sighed and wondered briefly what Santa At The Mall would do if the old guy found out that the black hedgehog had Chaos Blasted his entire horde of 'friends' down the street.

Run and scream, probably. And then have an overweight-induced heart atttack. Shadow sighed.

He knew of course himself that this wasn't really an option any longer. By now he would probably rather protect the little rabbit if she was in danger than harm her.

Or find her damn Chao again. How can you even lose that thing three times per week in the first place?

Usually he was grateful that Professor Gerald had originally raised him to be kind and compassionate (even if GUN had screwed that a little bit up), but sometimes…

"Mr. Shadow, you have to say that you're sorry for saying something so mean!"

…sometimes it would be nice just to have chosen a few more Dark Missions.

"Hey, no worries, Cream," Rouge interfered on his behalf, pointing at the other two hedgehogs. "See, Amy and Sonic haven't even heard him."

"Amy, I couldn't even afford them!"

"You're a national hero! You'd get them for free!"

"First of all, you know I don't like living off my fame-"

"I want the ones with diamonds."

"Are you even listening to me?!"

Now it was Rouge's turn to sigh. "Knuckles?"

The echidna, who had been stoically staring at the pitiful spectacle for the last few minutes, glanced at her. His temper usually flared up easiest of them all, but ironically, he could also have the most patience, save for perhaps Shadow. Now he raised an eyebrow. Rouge motioned towards the two still squabbling hedgehogs.

"Shall we?"

He nodded. With one swift movement that suggested this manoeuvre had already been used lots of times, the bat gently seized the pink hedgehog by the shoulders and steered her away, while Knuckles grabbed Sonic (far less gently) and roughly pushed him toward the other side of the sidewalk so Amy couldn't get a lock on him again - it said something for the blue hero's relief that he didn't even complain.

xxx

"Ugh, I'm cold," the Rouge was piping up a few minutes later, shivering. "Winter is just not my season. How long until we reach the mall again?"

"Yeah, I'm freezing too," Amy, having calmed down, agreed. "Sonic, couldn't you just Chaos Control us down to there?"

The hedgehog gave a slightly guilty smile. "Sorry, Ames. My Emerald's at home."

"In your apartment where you keep it oh-so-safe in your sock drawer?" Knuckles interjected dryly. "You're the lousiest guardian of sacred gems I have ever seen…"

"Excuse me? At least I manage to keep the Chaos Emeralds whole," Sonic pointed out (and had the satisfaction of Knuckles briefly crossing his arms and looking away). The blue hedgehog shrugged. "And anyway, what's gonna happen to it? You know Robuttnik hardly ever tries anything until Christmas and New Years are over, anyway." (Which was true. Shadows suspected this was mostly due to the fact that Sonic started calling the Doctor 'Eggnogg' as soon as the first of December had peeked round the corner - or maybe the scientist just had listened to 'Snoopy's Christmas' one too many times. You never knew.)

"What about the second one? Didn't you have two?" Rouge asked, interested in one more possible gem to hunt for. Sonic at this point at least had the grace to look slightly embarrassed.

"Ah, yeah. I lost that one when I was doing a couple of stunts on the wings of the X-Tornado. Tails was piloting and I was sort of like: 'Do another barrel roll! Another one!' …and then, it fell out of my quills somewhere over the ocean. Yeah. That was probably a bad idea. But you should have seen the backward salto jump I pulled!"

Knuckles slowly dragged his hand over his face. (Hedgehogs and inane stunts. He had promised himself that he wouldn't take it to heart so much anymore. )

Sonic elbowed him. "Hey, you could really give me a break here," he said, winking, "After all, what exactly do you expect of a guy with no pockets?"

Which was, strictly speaking, true. The girls were all wearing winter coats, thick gloves and boots, (Rouge also sporting a pair of purple earmuffs), but the males apparently had only bothered with their normal attire. (read: Too lightly dressed to be allowed to even enter a Bikini contest.) The only concession to the season the blue hedgehog, echidna and fox had deigned to make were the long scarves wrapped around their necks and in Tails' case, also a rose-white woolly hat. Even they seemed to be more a luxury than a necessity, being a Christmas present of Amy last year. Shadow hadn't been present last year, however, so he was the only one not wearing anything apart from his shoes and gloves (and by now there were small icicles actually starting to hang from his quills).

The pink hedgehog replied by shaking her head in disbelief. "Yeah, about that. I still think wearing no clothes in these temperatures is insane."

"But we're not cold, Amy," Tails pointed out. He had, as a result of his canine heritage, grown grown a fur much thicker and warmer than in summer and therefore didn't need any additional protection. (The shedding process was rather messy, though. But Tails, the ever-active engineer had of course already designed an industrial strength vacuum cleaner and couldn't wait to try it out next spring. )

"Hmph. If you get sick, just don't expect me to nurse you."

Knuckles had to keep himself from snorting. The echidna had been living in the outdoors for all of his life, weathered all seasons and temperatures and could by now probably survive in the arctic - provided there were grapes included.

"Look, there's the mall! I can see it from here!" Tails shouted out then, flying high over their heads and pointing down the street. Cream was flapping next to him and waved excitedly too.

"About time. Any longer and Amy might have been forced to wrap Sonic into her coat with her to keep warm." Rouge chuckled.

Sonic shuddered, but it had nothing to do with the cold. In fact, the blue hero's metabolism had been deemed just as speed-crazed as the hedgehog himself and as a result, Sonic (when healthy) could generate twice as much heat as your average oven when his body deemed it necessary. And where Shadow was concerned…it was doubtful the Ultimate Lifeform could even catch so much as a cold if somebody shock-frosted him. And lived to tell the tale afterwards, of course.

"Finally," the black hedgehog in question muttered as they entered the mall. "So what now?"

"Well, Faker." Sonic grinned, "you already know the rules of Secret Santa – you have to get a pesent for tonight for the person whose name you drew from Tails' hat, so you now have exactly two hours to find one before we meet up back here. Before that, though, some of us are heading down to see Santa. Wanna come?"

"Can you think of any reason why I would, blue hedgehog?"

"Not unless three ghosts visited you first, I guess. You really need to lighten up, Shads. At least for Christmas."

"Hmph."

"Sonic? Are you coming? Otherwise the queue might get too long!" Amy called from where she had gone on ahead with Tails and Cream, waving back at the two hedgehogs still talking.

"You go on ahead, I'll catch up!" Sonic replied, before turning back to Shadow who had just raised an eye ridge.

"You are going to see a bad, underpaid actor with an artifical beard, too? Sounds to me like one Faker looking for another..."

Sonic shrugged. "Not me, no. Right now it's just Cream who wants to give him her wishing list, so we're taking her." A small grin tugged at his lips. "But I have a kinda feeling that Tails might decide at the last second that he wants to as well. He knows all this science stuff but somewere my little bro is still an eight-year-old." He chuckled.

Shadow didn't reply. Hearing the affection in Sonic's voice when he talked about the small fox had triggered something inside him that he didn't quite know how to respond to. Suddenly the blue hero's tone grew more serious, though.

"But there's one thing I want to make sure, Shadow. About the Secret Santa game – it's one thing if you've got me, Rouge or Knux and screw up, but if it's Amy, Tails or Cream, you better make sure you get something nice, okay? For them it's really important."

When Shadow still didn't say anything, Sonic rolled his eyes.

"Please, Shadow?" the azure hedgehog visibly was reluctant to having to resort to begging his aloof doppelgänger for anything - but Shadow also suspected that the blue hero probably thought that if this was the price he had to pay to make it a Christmas to remember for his younger friends, it was worth it.

The black hedgehog pinched the skin above his nose.

"Oh very well. Skip it. I will find a good present."

Sonic nodded, instantly cheered. "Right! Cool. See ya in two hours!" And with a flash he was gone, leaving the Ultimate Lifeform behind in the hustle and bustle of the mall.

Shadow looked around. At first he had thought he was alone by now, but then discovered Rouge leaning against a column not two metres apart. Judging by the way both of her ears were turned towards him, she had apparently overheard the entire conversation.

"And what do you want?" He asked, not quite able to put the growl in his voice he'd have liked to hear.

"Just thought I'd ask if you'd tell me who you're supposed to buy a present." She gave a lascivious grin, before adding: "If it's me, I'd like either the Master Emerald - or its guardian - gift-wrapped. Think you can manage that?"

Shadow sighed. He was just glad that he really hadn't drawn Rouge. "Where is that echidna, anyway?"

"Probably headed outside to look through the shops in the street. I think he doesn't like crowded malls that much."

It was then that another human shopper hustled past and hit the three-feet-tall Ultimate Lifeform over the head with her dangling bags as she wasn't looking.

"No, really? I wonder why," Shadow asked acerbically, while Rouge had trouble hiding her giggles. That not even ten metres further down the lane that same woman's groceries all but spilled onto the floor since his head spines had sliced the plastic wide open was a small consolation to the black hedgehog.

"Phht, humans." The bat waved her hand as various curses from the other directions reached them, "You mustn't let them ruin your mood. It's Christmas, after all!" She smiled at Shadow. "And, well, even if you're not going to tell me who you are getting a present for, I'll tell you; It's Amy and I think I just had the perfect idea…" she finished, before blowing a kiss at him and waving: "See you around, Sweetie!", leaving a slightly flabberghasted hedgehog behind.

It must be that Christmas season. Everyone's losing their mind. He sighed. Maybe that echidna wasn't that stupid to look outside the mal for pre-

Whack.

"For Chaos' sake watch it, woman!" he bellowed as a bag made contact with the back of his skull for the second time that day.

"Mommy, mommy, the dog is angry!"

"I am not a dog!"

"No, Elise, he's a sapient hedgehog – oh, I'm sorry for running into you, please excuse me-"

"Oh just forget about it." Turning his back on the mother and her small child, Shadow turned on his heel and strode out into the coldness again, glad to be able to escape the crowded madness inside even if the price to pay for it was standing in the freezing weather.

"Right. Now to find a present…" Shadow reached into his quills and pulled out the slip of paper again that had the name of his charge inscribed on it. He read it once more, irrationally hoping that the letters on it might have changed since he last looked at it.

No such luck.

"Of all the people I have to get settled with that faker!" Shadow groaned, wearily glaring at the scrap that simply read: "Sonic", undertitled with 'if you get me anything, make sure it's a chili dog!'

He had no idea what to do. Hell, he hadn't even planned to be at a Christmas party in the first place!

But he was living at Rouge's place at the moment and appreciated the comfort - unfortunately that also meant that if the bat said they were going to Sonic's for Christmas (and Shadow thought he knew the echidna-shaped reason), they were going, whether he liked it or not.

And then that pink hedgegog had had that awful idea of playing Secret Santa…

It had started as a well-meant intention. Somewhere along the line in the plannings of their party, someone had brought up that buying presents for everyone could very well be a difficulty for some of the group. Sonic, for example, lived pretty much off free food the vendors and owners of diners piled on him (or alternatively what the forest had to offer when he was off adventuring), and had little to no money of his own. Sure, he owned an apartment, but even that had been a gift of the city council of Station Square, in an effort to have him stay there more often. And while he was technically rich beyond belief due to the royalties he earned from the merchandise that was sold with his picture on it, most of that had gone into an anonymous fund that helped former victims of Robotnik – and it all boiled down to the fact that Sonic, hero of Mobius, most of the time owned exactly as much as he needed to live comfortably, and, knowing Sonic, that wasn't much at all.

"Found something yet?"

The Ultimate Lifeform looked up from where he had been musing. In front of him stood Knuckles, his scarf already dotted with snowflakes everywhere, showing that he must have been outside for quite a while.

"No. No, not really," Shadow replied and shrugged. From the entire bunch of Sonic's friends the echidna really wasn't such a bad pick. Strength and backbone were two qualities Shadow could respect and the Guardian had plenty. Plus, you should never underestimate how a mutual annoyance with a certain blue hedgehog can forge an understanding between two victims.

"Me neither…and I have drawn Rouge! I'm sure she already knows I got her and she's going to kill me if I can't come up with something decent!" the echidna said, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, well…I've got Sonic. Stop grinning," Shadow added, slightly miffed that his predicament only served as entertainment for a now smirking Knuckles.

"Sorry. But better you than me."

"Very funny. But seriously, have you any idea what I could get him?"

"Valium. Or a gag."

"You're no help at all!" Shadow scathed, exasperated and left the still laughing Guardian standing in the street. They must all have eaten a clown for breakfast, he thought. Idiots.

Most of the others were little better off than the blue hedgehog. Sure, Amy sometimes gave make-up or boxcercising classes and Cream had her pocket money, but even Tails usually was flat broke since all he earned with his patents immediately went into new projects and tools. Plus, his house had blown up recently…and as for Knuckles, the guy probably was in that rather tight pinch because he only very, very seldom ever needed money and therefore very, very seldom ever had some. Rouge probably was the richest of the lot. She even owned an entire club…

…and is able to offer someone like me a place to stay, thought Shadow. I'm the only one of them that doesn't even have a place to call home. Even the echidna at least owns that island.

(Which was true. Even if the term 'owned' only applied here because no one in their right mind would dare set foot on Angel Island if they didn't want that foot ripped off by said echidna.)

And thus, the idea of Secret Santa had been voted for by all, since that way, everyone would get a present and the stress could be minimized. Which explained Shadow's current predicament.

"Stupid, stupid, faker…"

He trudged on through the snow, his arms wrapped around his chest while he tried to shield himself from the cold. The Ultimate Lifeform wasn't shivering, because his body could operate in minus degrees just as well as in midday desert heat, but he still felt utterly miserable. He was an indoor hedgehog, goddammit! He had spent his entire childhood never once setting a foot outside! (Which on ARK would have been lethal, but still…) No, Shadow didn't like the cold at all.

A black ear flicked as yet another snowflake tried to land on it and a crimson glare tried to make the tiny crystals evaporate before they even hit the ground. Shadow walked on and sighed. His gaze traveled over the items displayed in the shop windows while he wondered what of that could possibly make a good present for Sonic.

Tea pots.

"As much porcelain as that fool may smash…no."

Running shoes.

"He only ever wears that one pair. Chaos knows where he got it. No."

Chocolates.

"That he gets even more hyper? Hell, no."

Another gust of wind blew through the street and Shadow winced as he could feel the outer temperature drop another degree. Not really caring what kind of shop this was right now, he went inside, just to get out of the cold.

"Hello! Can I help you?"

"What?" Shadow blinked, as his eyes adjusted to the bright lighting inside. A young scarlet-furred vixen was smiling at him from behind the counter, apparently the shop assistant.

"We sell the latest winter fashion right now, everything for every possible species. Can I interest you in something from our hedgehog line?"

"No, thanks. Just looking around."

"Sure, go ahead. The hedgehog, tenrec and porcupine SpikeStuff™ is just around the corner, if you change your mind. Guaranteed cut-proof or alternatively with holes, whatever you like."

"Ehh…right," Shadow replied, before wandering off vaguely in the direction she had indicated. He really had no idea what he should do in here but liked the warmth that was slowly defrosting his fur. Maybe he could get something for Sonic…? Nah. That faker never wore anything bar gloves and shoes. Aimlessly, the Ultimate Lifeform ambled through the racks, not really seeing the colourful pullovers, pants, coats and jackets filling the shelves, strange sizes and stranger cuts indicating that this store apparently catered for Mobians of all possible species. A glance at a sky-blue dress and matching head band let him turn away quickly, though.

The store was almost empty at this late hour, his own cheerless reflection in the dark window pane the only face to keep him company. That was, apart from an exasperated deer father, whose fawn had been bawling his eyes out for the last ten minutes since his daddy wouldn't buy him the exact expensive ski bonnet he wanted, the yellow one, no, not that one, daddy, this one, or else I hold my breath until I die and then you'll be sorry-

Shadow carefully knocked a display Santa puppet over to fall on top of the boy. The following muffled screams where music to his ears when he left the store.

When the freezing wind hit him in the face again he was immediately sorry. His muscles hunched his body on reflex against the cold and, sighing, he proceeded to drag his feet through the sludge, again past the shop window behind which now surely a little pandemonium reigned. His glance fell on the last item on a dummy, and for a minute, the black hedgehog paused.

It was a jacket, and he wasn't sure why he was suddenly so transfixed by it. It was made from light brown leather with white, fluffy inlining and two slits in the back where a hedgehog's spikes could easily fit through. The lifeless wooden figure currently wearing it was about his size as well, so Shadow was sure it would make a perfect fit for him, if he wore it. And it would keep him wonderfully warm...he examined the jacket in greater detail and liked the pockets at the sides, the hood, the high collar, and the extra fabric to cover up the zipper at the front so no wind would come in.

Shadow suddenly realized he had been leaning on the window with both of his gloved hands pressing against the glass and his eyes wide. Hurriedly stepping back, he shook his head. He didn't need any clothing against the cold. A glance he caught of the price tag assured him he wouldn't be able to get it, either. Not without breaking into the shop, that was, and Sonic had already told him he'd make his life personal hell if Shadow got him framed for another supersonic-hedgehog-committed crime again. And while he was the Ultimate Lifeform, he certainly didn't have the Ultimate bank account...with a last, longing glance at the window, Shadow finally turned around and faced the urban snow storm again.

He didn't like Christmas. He didn't like shopping. He certainly didn't like malls, cold, winter, carols, crowds, inane present games, and overpriced clothing stores in particular. At the moment, people parted like water in front of him and snowflakes were melting about three inches above his head.

This day can't possibly get any worse.

That was, of course, when he got hit by a bus.

To be continued...