Brotherly Love, a bleach fanfic

A/N: ANOTHER CHARACTER STUDY! YAYZ!

Disclaimer: My Wish by Rascal Flatts (I'm on a country music binge)

As an older sister to three brothers and a godmother to one of them I have to say that the song portrays every older sibling's wish for their 'babies' or 'brats' as I affectionately call my little snots ^^ I love them very much so I feel as though I can relate to Byakuya, imagine how guilty he must feel every day knowing his baby sister needed him and he let her down.

Anyways, I can empathize even if I haven't let anyone down in such an 'extreme' situation.

Give him some love guys, at least he's trying.

Oh yeah and if you want to look at it as incest, go ahead, whatever floats your boat but I meant it as sibling love.

Of Brotherly Love and Guilt

The first time I saw the little girl that would one day become my sister I was reviewing the functionality of the academy facilities, keeping the teachers up to par and making the changes as I saw fit.

I was observing a swordsmanship lesson; two students, a girl and a boy, were sparring in the center, the boy was much bigger than the tiny child and looked to be about second year while the girl seemed to have barely been in school half the year. It was obvious that the teacher was making an example of her. It was immature, pathetic and nonetheless I watched. Ready to intervene as a captain should.

The girl was strong and ferocious, making up a bit for her size. I was surprised to see her gaining footing on her opponent, though she obviously had some natural skill, her lack of tutelage was apparent, so unfortunately she lost as she was flung against the wall. She back up proudly, her fingers inching to her abs but she retracted them, not giving them the satisfaction of truly beating her.

She had pride.

And that was when I first saw Rukia's face. Shock overtook me, she could have been Hisana. But she wasn't, she was her sister; the one I'd been searching for.

The first time I actually met the, at that time nameless child she was looking up at me, blushing furiously in embarrassment and holding our her hand to shake after having tripped through the door.

A Rukongai brat had never offered their hand to me before, it was refreshing to me. "Thank you so much for offering your tutelage Kuchiki-sama, I promise to not let you down!" and with the fiery look in her eyes that accompanied her promise I truly believed her.

It was so odd for me, watching my sister change. It was almost heartbreaking. She had been so happy in the academy, she had almost belonged. But now as the ceremony adopting her into the clan commenced she didn't smile.

I didn't know that for the next seven years I would watch her smile only in her squad for a man that wasn't me, before that beautiful smile would disappear for what I thought would be forever.

I was wrong again as I usually am when it comes to my mystery of a sister.

I found her again, dressed as a mere teenaged human and shouting at an exceedingly taller boy who was shouting right back. He was holding her down by the head with one hand while pulling on her jacket with the other. She had fixed a hand in his collar, supported herself on her feet, which were weighing on the boy's bent knee and stomache, her other hand fish-hooking his mouth.

Suddenly the stranger spun her around and held her in submission, crushing her arms to her sides while winding his arms around her waist.

I was about to command him to cease manhandling a noble, in the process giving away my position when suddenly Rukia let out an unladylike snort and began to laugh. Airy, loud, obnoxious and happy.

It occurred to me that that was the first time I'd ever heard that sound.

Her laughter had left, her smiles desisted. Her happiness was gone and I was the reason for it. Abarai had come to me saying that Rukia didn't believe I would ask for clemency. I didn't tell him that she was right.

Though it left a crack in my long dead heart to know she had no faith in me, I was still glad. It meant she wasn't relying on me, relying on a false hope to save her.

However she was wrong when she said I never looked at her. On the contrary, watching her had long since become a favorite pass time.

I loved to watch her smile. In the years before her vice captains death she had begun to retrieve the fierce Rukongai woman who she'd been.

And I was so glad because it meant I had fulfilled what Hisana had asked of me.

Later on I learned that watching her fight was also a sight to behold and with each slash of Sode no Shirayuki my dormant heart swelled with pride.

She was graceful in battle, radiant even, she loved the fight as I did, lived for it in fact, not for the kill but for the exhilaration and adrenaline rush that only a fight could give you. The challenge in itself.

Not only was she beautiful as my wife had been but so was her sword; her very soul. She was the rare person who was- is as beautiful on the inside as the out.

But she had a different loveliness than Hisana, Hisana had been the soft, subtle, quiet and peaceful woman whom no one could raise a hand against, too radiant to ever be marred by mortal or other hands and far too good to be true, and yet she was. Everything about Hisana had been beautiful and honest.

Rukia was a harsh, regal and forceful kind of woman who was real.

Yes. I held that distinction; I understood that difference and I reserved two very separate, very different places in my heart for two very different women.

That was what allowed me to love them differently, there had been passion; soft and affectionate with Hisana and I knew that I would never allow myself to love another as I had her. With Rukia, on the other hand, I felt concerned, protective, affectionate and wanted nothing more than to shield my baby sister from the horrors of the world.

She had been my sister.

But I had failed her as a brother.

So as I stood across a battlefield from the boy who had incurred her wrath and brought on her laughter I fought him with mixed feelings.

I wanted to hate him and thank the insolent wretch at the same time.

He had been there for Rukia when I couldn't and hadn't been, don't what I should have and that made me hate him; for occupying a place in her heart that might have been meant for me.

And yet, because of this…Ryoka she was alive, for this I could kiss his feet in thanks. I would never forget the hope that brightened her eyes as she looked up at him at the sokyouku.

What hurt the most concerning the Kurosaki boy was that he himself was an elder brother. He himself had sisters so he could have understood me best, but he was different then I was. And I knew without a doubt that if it had been one of his sisters in Rukia's place he would not have done what I did. He would have fought not only tooth and nail, but also arm leg, blood and heart. He risked far more than what would have been at stake for me. He also had far less reason to. He had barely known the girl three months while I had known her a little more than fifty years.

And yet he was the one to save her. The guilt would live inside my soul until and even after the day I died.

So I look at them fighting in the same way as I'd first seen them together and once again they don't know I'm watching.

He pins her arms to her sides again but without flipping her around and he presses his lips to hers. He runs his hand through her hair, dislodging the Kenseikan that once belonged to me. "Mmph, Idiot!" she shouts, punching him in the chest and pulling away to pick up the accessory. "Careful! This belonged to Nii-sama." She smiled fondly while thinking of me and I felt blessed that she held me in her heart after all.

She tugged him by the front of his robes, dragging him right passed me, I could have sword the now man made eye contact with the place I had hidden myself from their sight for a split second, he was smiling for once, (I'd never seen him really smile) and his eyes were full of love as his gaze returned to my sister.

I sighed as I felt a tug in my chest and a shortness of breath, neither of the two had truly seen me, but I had seen them and that was what mattered, what I came for.

Knowing my sister was happy would allow my soul to finally pass on and rest.

A/N: um…you all got it right…?

Hope you liked it! I love Bya-bo but I had to kill him off.

And I like the idea of him giving her the kenseikan, it's a cool thought.

Reviews please!

Sierra