All of these are unrelated one shots that were done for challenges at various places. Some of them are a little... kinkier than my normal stuff, but this one is fairly tame, so I started with it.

Challenge Requirements: The shot must consist almost entirely, if not out right all of it, composed of Dialogue.

I knew you'd come. You snakes are all the same. Sneaking around when nobody's watching, acting as if you're the dog's bollocks.

Dog's...bits then. The...bits. Stop smirking! I don't know how he can't see it, but I've known for years. I might not be the most clever student – can't bloody stand to put the effort – but I've always seen right through the likes of you.

I'm not a... yes I can bloody well say that word. Pervert. Happy? I'm not a... a pervert. It's a figure of speech. There you go again, trying to turn this around, playing word games. 'Mione is the sharpest witch of her age, and enough's rubbed off that that constriction charm isn't going anywhere until I say the counter, and this room is bloody marvelous.

I bloody well did! ...Mostly anyway. Of course Harry doesn't know, I'm not daft! Mate's not thinking straight – might let you know what I was up to. ...It's not stealing. I've been Harry's best mate for seven years, I don't think he'd mind me borrowing his cloak. Or his map. ...that either. That's the point, isn't it. Blimey, the fact that you know half of this is proof that you've done something to him. Harry's a great chap, and powerful to boot. But you and I both know he doesn't have the best home life. Bet that's how you did it – no magic at all was it? Just flash a little leg, a few promises and and... being a scarlet woman...FINE, A BLOODY TRAMP... and he ate it right up. Bloody hell, maybe last year me and 'Mione were a little distant... we should have known of of you would have moved in like a sneaky...sneaky...

Yes, Snake! A sneaky snake.

I'm not turning red.

No, I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. Bloody hell, you're worse than Malfoy. Silencio. Ha, try talking now you hussy! Silencio. Silencio. Silencio. Fine, talk – I don't care.

Like you snakes know what it means to care for anyone besides yourself. I know what you are, Ms. Ice Queen. Yes... Ice Queen, You are an Ice Queen. With your cold glare and...long legs. Tamping about on your long legs and glaring coldly. Yes you bloody are! I've never seen you talk to anyone without glaring.

Yes, coldly.

That's not important. The fact remains that you are an Ice Queen. Silen-.

Bloody hell! No. No no no.

Seven months... but...that's before last term ended. Ginny...

Bloody hell.

Oblivitate.

Ron, you alright mate? Took a nasty fall there – probably best if you let Neville get you to the infirmary. Who? Oh right – the slytherin girl. Must have been a bad blow to the head – we're Gryffindors. I was? Huh. Neville, make sure he gets to the hospital wind in one piece. Poor bloke's out his head.

Right. I'm going to take my cloak off you, and then I'm going to release Ron's...attempt... at the constricting charm. It's probably a good thing you knew what was going on – poor bloke's grandkids wouldn't have had a chance.

Well yeah but... I'm not always right you know, and I did predict he wouldn't last ten minutes without labeling you an Ice Queen... you ought to have heard him after the Yule Ball – if it wasn't about Krum and Hermione it was about you. I'm not changing the subject. Yes, I paid Neville the fifteen galleons, my own fault though, but I still believe Ron could cast most of the first year curriculum.

Yes, you win too, though I think leading him to believe that I was cheating on his sister is unfair. I didn't do more than look at you until I'd broken up with her – mum raised a gentleman.

Macabre, aren't you? Love you to.

And Daph, he wasn't completely wrong. You do have nice legs.