Old Challenge that I just found. Can't remember what the prompt was but I'm pretty sure it was a play on words regarding 'master wand', and possibly Draco's case of impotence.

"Right, take this down to Wilkins then. Thank Merlin it's not my problem anymore," Harry Potter sighed.

A witch in crimson robes that clashed horribly with bright red hair nodded, taking the brown paper package and placing it under one arm. "Mmm, never a boring moment around here with you, is it Potter," she asked mockingly, though her eyes betrayed her jest. Turning to leave, she stopped – calling over her shoulder. "Mum's asking about you, you know. You ought to come by some time – do you good to get out of this hellhole once in a while."

Harry gave a noncommittal shrug. "I'll send her an owl, then. Bye, Ginny."

Ginny tsked, and Harry swore she mumbled, "course you will," under her breath. He pushed the thought aside - he had a very busy day ahead of him.

It wasn't easy, being owl-master general of South-East England. Some paranoid tosser had erected a redirection ward in downtown Brighton without prior notice, and the resulting backlog was only just being sorted. Combined with the ministry's new resolution calling for all post owls to be screened biweekly for spells and Harry was struggling just to maintain pace. At least Wilkins would have to deal with the latest uproar – exploding packages – Harry thought uncharitably.

He settled down to work, humming some inane tune or another he'd picked up from the wireless as he went through lists of delivery statistics. He frowned… an inordinate number of packages were going to Wales. He'd have to dig up some dirt on Smythe, or it was all too likely he'd be forced to send that greedy bastard some of his precious owls to help cope with the upsurge. "Probably having his people send owls back and forth just to fudge the numbers," Harry grumbled. He wrote the idea down, both to have one of his lackeys investigate Smythe, and to remind himself to do the very same thing at first opportunity.

Hours of such petty bureaucratic nonsense passed by, and Harry realized it was just past two by the time he'd finished a series of vital if unmemorable interdepartmental memos. Heading out for a late lunch in the cafeteria, he fell back as his door suddenly burst open, filled by an angry, slightly roundish face framed by dirty-blonde hair, styled in a pageboy cut that didn't seem to fit her at all. It was made all the more ridiculous by her furious glare.

"Potter," she hissed. "I've spent all day looking for you. Sit down." She waved a wand, banishing Harry into his seat.

"I've been here all day," he responded smugly. He rummaged in his desk, looking for his wand – he didn't use it much these days. "I'm fairly certain you could have asked my secretary for an appointment."

"I did!" she exclaimed, keeping her wand on him. "But she kept saying you were busy, or away, or that I needed to talk to the Department Head. Sit down," she repeated, knocking Harry once more into his seat.

"Right, well… Come in Astoria. Did I mention you look fabulous with the hair?" He finished with a silly grin.

Astoria grimaced. "Party thought it would work. Everyone agrees it's awful, but Zabini runs the party, and he tells me it's fabulous. I think he's just using me to take the piss out of my husband, but politics are politics."

"Mmm, well can't say I blame him. How is Draco doing these days – still not keeping up, as it were?"

"Fuck you," Astoria snapped, sparing a glance to the still open door as soon as she said it. Waving her wand once more, she closed the door, adding a silencing charm to the wall as an afterthought.

"It's your fault, I know it. You're still the master of his wand – I've always felt there was something off when you returned it to him after the war. I want you to give it back to him, for real this time."

Harry's smirked. "Wait a tic – are you saying I'm causing you and Draco problems because I still am the master of his wand?" he asked innocently, as if not understanding the question. "And here I thought it was the two of us fucking like rabbits once a fortnight." He shrugged. "Guess I wasn't in Ravenclaw for a reason."

Astoria shrieked, looking absolutely furious. "That's beside the point," she ground out. "You've done something to him, and he can't break the curse. He's not an idiot – the only logical reason the countercharm won't work is because you placed the original, and the wand won't go against you."

Harry laughed. "Nah, not even close," he responded. "I actually did return the wand to him – he just can't use it against me directly. What I did," he said with a leer and a shit-eating grin, "is every time you leave me, I place an anti-erectile charm on your lady bits. Only time it comes off is when you come back, hopelessly frustrated. If it means that much to you, I'll take it off for good. I don't really need you anymore anyway."

Astoria fired off a curse at Harry, then charged him. In an instant, Harry was out of the chair, blocking the incoming spell and jabbing his wand into Astoria's throat.

"I may be a bloody owl-master and the laughing stock of the ministry," he whispered in her ear, voice soft and dangerous. "But I still beat Voldemort twice, and more than a few death eaters besides. Just because I like the quiet life doesn't mean I've forgotten how to deal with people who attack me, capice?"

She nodded fearfully.

"Good." He removed his wand from her neck, waving it lazily at her lower half. "It's done – really, it is. I'm just not going to verbally cast an anti-erectile charm, now am I?" he defended at Astoria's quickly recovered poise and look of incredulity. "Not that it'll change much," Harry muttered, "Pretty sure I've ruined you for Draco anyway."

Astoria said nothing, a flush coming across her face as she looked down.

"Right then, off you go! I was going to get some grog from the lunchroom, but I feel like I've really earned my keep for the day – care to join me for a late lunch at The Siren? I'm a V.I.P. there… but of course you already know that, don't you?" He couldn't resist a final dig, their first 'date' during their affair.

"No? Ah well, next time then. Have a nice day." With that Harry opened the door. He paused theatrically, turning around and giving her a wink. "And don't forget, you're still under oath to keep my secrets. Ta-ta." Without looking back, he left the ministry.