Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned below or in any further chapters. They are all property of RTD and the BBC.

This idea came to me after watching the Red Dwarf episode 'Body Swap'. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I'm worried that future chapters will get confusing due to the different character's minds in other character's bodies. :S

Anyway, I hope you like this, please let me know if it's worth continuing, reviews are always encouraging. :D Thank you and Enjoy!

Chapter One

Owen was late, as per usual.

This morning, however was slightly different. There was no Ianto waiting with a freshly brewed cup of coffee for him. No Tosh smiling a hello at him. No Gwen demanding he actually wear something decent to her wedding. No Jack telling him to perform an autopsy on some alien, which had been brought in during the night.

Instead everyone was gathered around a plain looking and probably alien artefact on Tosh's desk. Owen rolled his eyes. "Is it too hard to ask for a cup of coffee this morning, Ianto?" he asked, walking towards them after throwing his jacket over the back of a chair.

"Of course not, Owen." Ianto said pulling a freshly made cup of coffee seemingly out of nowhere.

Owen mumbled his thanks, trying to hide his surprise at the steaming mug he just received. (How did Ianto do that?) He then turned this attention to the object they were all so fascinated with. It was small and round with various sized holes decorating the side. There was also an alien inscription around one of the larger holes.

"What is it?" Owen asked.

"No idea." Tosh replied. "The scans cannot detect it as something we have encountered before and the translator is having trouble interpreting the language. The only thing we know is that it's hollow inside and there is a sort of invisible egg like shell around it, just under the harder metal shell. It must be keeping something in."

"Do we know what it does?" Owen asked, sighing; the object in front of him was the most boring thing he'd seen all year. This was a waste of time.

"Not sure." Gwen replied this time.

"Is it dangerous?"

"Can't be sure." Jack said reaching out and picking it up. "When Tosh's translation program finishes we can be surer about what it does. The writing may tell us something important."

"So we know nothing about it?" Owen said just to confirm.

"Well, we know that it's round with holes in it." Ianto said earning an eye roll from the medic.

"I think it's just a fancy holder for chopsticks." Gwen said, heading back to her work station.

"Chopsticks?" Ianto's look was incredulous. "What kind of alien has a holder for chopsticks that looks like that?" he pointed to the sphere, "What kind of person has a holder for chopsticks that looks like that?"

"Well I think it's a bizarre incense holder." Tosh said in reply, smiling at Gwen.

Ianto just shook his head.

"Where did you find it?" Owen asked Jack, once Tosh and Gwen had moved off, back to their workstations.

"That old church. St. Mary's. The one where I found the second resurrection glove." he nodded towards Owen in recognition, "There was a whole heap of alien stuff there. Though, believe it or not, this was the most interesting. All the other stuff we've seen before."

Owen nodded and headed down to the autopsy room; casting away any further thought about the holey sphere and turning his attention to the alien corpse which had been laid out and ready to be dissected.

"Do you want me to archive this?" Ianto asked Jack.

"Yeah. There's some documents on Gwen's desk that need to be done too." he smiled in thanks and winked before heading up to his office.

Ianto blushed slightly before gathering the holey sphere and the documents up and heading down to the archives. And he would have got there, too, if he hadn't tripped on Owen's jacket, which had fallen off the chair and onto the floor.

Ianto cried out in surprise, slipped and stumbled; reaching out for something to keep his balance. The documents flew out of his hand and the metal sphere slipped from his grasp, falling to the floor where it shattered.

Jack had barely made it to his office, when Ianto's yell of surprise startled him into turning around. He turned just in time to see the pale blue gas rise up from the fragmented pieces of the sphere.

"Code Red!" he yelled, slapping the emergency button on the wall, locking the place down. As he did, Gwen, Tosh, Owen and even Ianto managed to reach gas masks, located underneath all the work stations, and put them on. Not before they had all breathed in the rapidly spreading and unknown gas, however.

Only seconds after fitting the gas masks, every one suddenly collapsed; having fallen unconscious. Jack yelled and ran back down to check on everyone, ignoring the possible toxins emitted in the gas.

"Ianto?" he bent down to check his pulse and was thankful it was still there. Before Jack had time to check on the others, the gas became too much and it eventually knocked him out too.

The emergency sirens continued to sound, completely ignored and unheard; no one was awake to hear.

All five members of Torchwood 3 lay unconscious on the Hub floor, all having inhaled an alien, unknown gas.

A gas nobody knew anything about.

As the sirens faded a small beep came from Tosh's work station. The translator program had finished and the words of the translated alien inscriptions flashed up on the screen.

The Body Swap Experience. (Made in Chinolilia)