A/N: Finally, right?

BTW: This is also rated M for drug references and possible future drug use.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, not it's characters. I just get them drunk and make 'em swear ;)

BPOV

"C'mon, Bells! You're 21! You can buy alcohol. Pretty please?" begged Jacob Black.

I smirked over at him from the top of my Scotch and water. "But why on earth would I do that?" I drawled sarcastically. "You're still a minor, bud. I don't wanna corrupt your precious, youthful innocence," I quipped, sniggering.

He rolled his eyes and swiveled his stool so his back was leaning on the bar, like me. I leaned my elbows back and sighing contentedly, glancing around the club. It was a Friday, classes are over, and I was so ready to let loose. That disastrous birthday party of mine had left me feeling shaky.
I didn't want to feel like that scared, wrecked little girl I was three years ago. I was just starting to feel semi-normal again. I glared into my glass. Fucking vampires.

"Hey! Hey you! Pretty girl with the rainbow hair, wanna dance?"

I stirred out of my reverie and looked around for the offending voice. A guy about my age wearing a cowboy hat was leering over me, completely fucking blazed. I smirked up at him.

"No can do, stranger. I'm not a dancing' kinda gal. But," I said, jerking my head towards Jake, "my friend over here loves him some strapping cowboys. Maybe ya'll can have some fun."

Cowboy cracked up and boogied his way back to the dance floor while Jake looked seriously un-amused.

"Seriously, Bells? Not funny," he grumbled. I laughed.

"Hey, why not? You and Billy the Kid would've made a great pair. At least he can match you for height," I said, eyeing his tall, lanky werewolf frame. He snorted.

"That's just the liqueur talking. I'm getting kind of sick of this place. It's no fun sober. Want to go back to your place and just chill, like old times?" he asked, purposely avoiding my gaze.

I winced at the mention of 'old times' but agreed nonetheless.

The drive home was quiet. I was really happy Jake had come to visit, but I was also kind of regretting it. He was one of the few people who knew me from high school. I would frequently talk to him and Angela on the phone once I hauled ass outta gloomy Forks after graduation. They were both too perceptive though, and I could always (grudgingly) count on them to see through the cracks in my carefully made brick wall I'd put up for myself. I'd mentioned to Jake over the phone the fiasco that was my birthday party, and the memories it brought up, and three weeks later he was here.
I'd managed to keep his questions at bay, but I knew he was going to pounce eventually.

"Hey, Jake, open up a bottle of wine, will ya? Red, preferably," I called down as I headed upstairs. "No problem," he shouted back, a hint of excitement in his voice. I chuckled quietly to myself. He was still like a little kid sometimes, even though he was practically twice my height and width, and only two years my junior.

Kicking off my black ballet flats, I headed to my closet to change. Dressing up was never something I was keen on doing, but it was a novelty I indulged in on special occasions. For instance, the sparkly little retro dress I was currently in.
I stood in front of the mirror, studying my reflection. I sure had changed, not just mentally and emotionally. Physically, I was practically a stranger to myself. Some things are still the same, though. I've got the same brown eyes and pale skin, and I haven't gotten any taller. But I have filled out, thank goodness, and in all the right places. Good-bye A-cup, hello C-cup!
What's the most different though, is definitely the hair. It's still long-ish, and there's definitely brown, but I had gotten a little creative with it, layering it and added in some dark purple, red, auburn, darker brown, and a little black. I blew my bangs out of my face and, looking away, grabbed a pair of grubby, torn up cut-off jeans and an old Motley Crue t-shirt and quickly changed.

As I headed downstairs, I hear muffled grunts and swearing. I tiptoed towards to spacious kitchen and peered in, and had to quickly stifle laughter. There was Jake wrestling with the bottle and the corkscrew.
Unsuccessfully holding back my amusement, I doubled over with giggles. Jake huffed and glared at the bottle, mumbling something that sounded like "stupid freaking bottle…goddamnit…not my fault."

"Just get me a wine glass, Jake, and whatever for yourself. And try to overexert yourself in the process," I instructed between giggles. He shot me a withering look to which I responded by sticking out my tongue.

Finally settled on my sofa, wine glass and beer in hand, he looked at me.

"So, Bells, I guess you know why I'm here," he said, taking a sip of his Budweiser. I smiled flirtatiously.

"Why, it's not for my intense feminine charm and delightful conversation? I'm insulted."

He rolled his eyes. "No, it's because you called me up, bawling, on your birthday," he said flatly.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Oh, that. Is anyone going to let me live that down? Shit, man. I mean, a girl faints and everybody freaks the fuck out. You people need to chill out and smoke some pot or something. Geez."

"Bells…Come on. Talk to me. Please?" he begged, lifting up my chin when I looked down.

I shot an annoyed look at him and sat up straighter. "Fine. You want me to talk then I'll fucking talk. Birthdays are bad for me, Jake. You know that." I shrugged. "Memories come bubbling up to the surface, completely unbidden. You think I want to remember? You think I want to feel that horrible, helpless…Like I did back in Forks? No!" I yelled, my voice steadily rising. "But I can't fucking help it. No matter how hard I try, and I try so fucking hard, I remember.

"Sure, I've gotten better, but that's just because I've built up this wall, and I've distracted myself with school, lessons, and friends and all that other bullshit. But I can't forget. How could I? Thank God you've never felt pain that…this intense, Jake. 'Cause no matter how many years pass, no matter how many distractions I have, it never goes away. Never. I still feel it everyday, even though I've managed to push it to the back, it's there," I said quietly, looking into my depleted glass. My voice had lowered to barely a whisper and I belatedly noticed the tears rolling down my cheeks. I wiped my face and hazarded a look at Jake. He sat there, looking like he just got hit by lightning. He let his breath in a big whoosh.

"Damn, Bells. I didn't know…I mean, he's just a bloodsu- guy," he corrected hastily at my look. "I almost thought…well, hoped really, that you were over him. And not just because of me, I know you're not interested, of course," he stopped talking and just looked at me for a minute.

Then he took my small hand into his two huge ones and pulled me into a hug. I rested my head on his shoulder and sobbed.

"I think I've had too much to drink," I sniffled.

Wooo! Yay me for finally updating! Next chapter will probably be all Edward POV.

Reviews make me giggle harder than a drunk Bella.