Chapter 10: Losing It/Her/Sleep/Him

A/N: Damn I'm bad at updating! Sorry!

Emily got home the next morning after being drilled by virtually every cop in the precinct on undercover etiquette as tired as she was the day before, fell into bed, and hoped to God she was asleep before Bruce came home so she didn't have to tell him. She was actually falling asleep when her door opened and shut signaling he was home. She groaned and rolled over a big smile on her face at the sight of him.

"Good morning." She yawned.

"Good morning." He gave her a kiss before going to the bathroom to change.

"Ok…Bruce…I'm…" She started to herself.

'You better not tell him.' The voice in her head said.

"I have to."

'He'll just overreact and you'll get into a fight.'

"That's a risk I'll have to take." She was ready to tell him, she really was, but when he came out of the bathroom and she saw the tiredness etched all over his face she decided it could wait until they were both rested. She beckoned him to bed and he gladly obliged, wrapping his arm around her waist and she felt the tension seep from his body as they fell asleep. He woke up hours later, relaxed. It was dusk and he reluctantly let go of her and slipped out of bed. After he was dressed he kissed her on the cheek and left. He was just about to have James come to the rooftop when his speaker picked up James voice yelling.

"How can you possibly think this is a good idea?!" James yelled.

"She can handle it." A second voice he recognized as Commissioner Gordon calmly answered.

"She's a technical analyst. She's never done anything like this before…She can't go undercover in Arkham Asylum." As soon as James had said technical Bruce knew who they were talking about and the rage that boiled in him, threatened to make him burst into the room and strangle Commissioner Jim Gordon.

"We've been training her. She's a big girl and there's nothing you or Bruce Wayne can do about it. We asked her to do it and she said yes. She could've said no."

"I'll do it, I'll take her place."

"We need someone to get on Dr. Quinzel's good side and Emily is someone you entrust to all of your secrets..."

"Well, I hope you don't have any Commissioner because if anything at all happens to her…you know as well as I do what will happen."

"She will be safe. I've known her a lot longer than you Detective and I care about her just as much." Angrily Bruce stalked into the night looking for anyone to take his rage out on before he went home to Emily's apartment.

---

When he did get back to her apartment, at ten in the morning, she was gone. He found the note she had written on the counter next to a fresh smoothie.

Went to see Aimee and Livvie. Be back soon. Get some rest. We need to talk.

They were going to talk all right and when they were done talking there would be no going undercover and that was going to be that.

Emily sat next to Aimee's bedside holding Olivia in her arms. Aimee had been asleep when she got there at 9 that morning so she was just holding Olivia and talking to her.

"Livvie, I don't know. I'm 99.9% sure that this is the right thing to do, but Bruce is going to try and stop me, I know he is." She looked down at the tiny baby's face, who was a very healthy preemie baby to say the least, and smiled. "I know you don't understand and Auntie Emmie will always be here to make sure you will." She heard Aimee stir behind her.

"I'm never going to get that baby back am I?" Aimee was yawning as she turned around. Emily rolled her eyes, walked back to the side of the bed, and sat in the chair.

"Nope…unless she gets hungry of course."

"What are you 99.9% sure about?" She asked.

"Nothing, it's just work stuff."

"If it's just work stuff why would Bruce try and stop you?"

"Long story?"

"Come on spill. Which coincidentally you say to your boyfriend on a regular basis."

"Was that really necessary?"

"Yes it was." She held her hands out for her baby.

"You're so greedy." Emily said, and handed Olivia over reluctantly.

"So, what exactly will you be doing?"

"GoingundercoveratArkham." She said quickly turning to the wall. "This wallpaper is very nice here."

"Don't think I can't decipher your quick talk missy and I'd try to stop you too!" She whispered angrily, not wanting to upset Olivia. "You are not a cop. You are a technical analyst and you have no experience in cop...Things."

"Aims…"

"No, listen. If you were to get hurt for whatever reason you're doing this there would be no going back."

"I have to Aimee. I'm the only one that could possibly integrate themselves into the life of the bad guy...Or girl in this instance and I know…in my heart and my gut. I know I'm not like James or Bruce to have 'gut feelings' but I do and right now it's telling me that this person is the bad guy…girl and I can catch her. To keep the city safe. To keep you and Livvie-" She took a breath. "safe."

"You're not Batman honey."

"I may not be Batman but I can do this. It's not like I'm gonna get into any trouble. What's the worst that could happen?"

"They could find out who you really are, kidnap you, Gordon and James would have to save you then you and Bruce wouldn't be dating anymore." Emily grimaced at the smile plastered on Aimee's face. "Sound fun?"

"Not really, but none of that's going to happen."

"When it does I'm so going to say I told you so…then cry with you while we watch Roman Holiday and eat ice cream with Livvie."

"You really need to get out of this hospital."

---

She stepped into the penthouse and immediately saw the look on Alfred's face.

"He knows?" She asked and he nodded. "Did he call Lucius?" He nodded again. "Fuckshit." She cursed and stopped at the entrance of the living room and found the two irate men in question. "I was going to tell you but you found out first and I'm not a child so stop trying to treat me like one. I've known for a day, give me some slack and with that slack don't even try talking me out of this. It's my job. We all agreed that I should work for Gordon and if that means going undercover as some IT analyst where I won't even get a scratch on me then I'll do it! I know in my gut that I can do this right and that Harleen Quinzel is the bad guy…girl…and I just went over this with Aimee!" She put her hands on her hips on the top of the steps and stared them down. "Now, you can speak."

"Buttercup, I'm sorry." Lucius' expression softened and he crossed the room to her.

"For what?" She asked cautiously.

"Not trusting you to do this but Mr. Wayne called me and suddenly there was another thing you hadn't told me about." She was relieved that at least he was ok with this…somewhat.

"You Godfathers, always are jumping to conclusions. You've known me for how long?"

"A very long time, and if you feel like you can do this then…I'll stand by it as your Godfather."

"Thank you." She looked at Bruce, who was still seething, and grimaced. "How about we have lunch tomorrow?" She led him to the front door said goodbye before facing Bruce again. "Now, how may I help you angry boyfriend?"

"Emily you can't do this. I don't care what Gordon or James or even Lucius says. I can't risk you being hurt."

"Bruce…" It hurt her to see the pain in his eyes but she knew that she needed to do this. "This is my job. They picked me to do it and when I became a part of Gordon's unit…again as an active part of it I took an oath to protect this city, just like you did. This is my job and Gordon and James will be there to protect me because I sure as hell don't plan on getting hurt."

"You don't understand. I was there! There's no plotting going on...you're not a cop Emily."

"We both know that just because it seems there's nothing going on doesn't mean that there isn't and if there isn't anything going on then I'll be fine right?"

"I guess but you want to go into a place full of crazy people who think their being lied to everyday! When they find out you are lying to them they could break."

"Bruce, how would they find out I was lying? I'm certainly not going to tell them when I leave 'Oh, yeah and I'm really a technical analyst working for the Gotham Police.' No, I'm not going to say that."

"You don't understand!" She saw the anger and sadness etched all over his face and it was like a punch to the stomach.

"What don't I understand Bruce?! Explain it to me because obviously I'm missing the point!" She exclaimed, rubbing her eyes.

"Batman has a lot of enemies, and half of those enemies are locked up in Arkham Asylum. I know what they have done and what they could do if given the right leverage."

"Oh, really? I wasn't there? I didn't work for you for 5 years of my life?! Thanks for informing me of all of your enemies Bruce!" She picked up her purse. "This is a stupid fight. This is my job now and I don't want to fight with you, so I'm going to leave and I'll be at my apartment when you want to talk calmly about anything but this."

"If you still worked for me…" He started and she cut him off.

"If I still worked for you Bruce, could you honestly say that we would've gotten this far in a relationship or been in a relationship at all?" When he didn't answer she went on. "No? I didn't think so because I would still be pining for my employer and you would still be…you… I'll see you later Bruce." She walked towards the front door, saying a quick goodbye to Alfred on her way out. After she had gone Alfred walked up to Bruce.

"Sir, may I say something?"

"No--" He took a breath. "Ok."

"Miss Emily is…a fighter and she has a very protective nature not only over herself but for others too. She doesn't want you to think that she can't handle herself, I fear and that's what you're doing."

"Yeah? Well, Rachel was a fighter too and what did she do? She worked as an ADA and stayed away from criminals except to prosecute them and put them away. Emily is willingly walking into the belly of the beast."

"I never said she wasn't brave."

"This isn't bravery Alfred. This is…" He walked away. "Something else entirely."

Emily sighed when she got home as she dropped her purse and keys on the table. She looked around her surprisingly clean apartment and then at the clock. It was 2. Only 4 more hours before she had to go to work, and relive the reason this whole day had been such a shitfest. She went into her room and lay down on the bed throwing her shoes off as she did. Was their relationship so bad, that at one fight she ran away? She didn't want to think about it. She buried her face in the pillows and after 30 minutes of yelling and cursing herself and the absent Bruce she curled into a ball and fell asleep. She woke up at 5 and got ready for work, prepared to get another lesson in undercover etiquette, her mind heavy with the fight. This was gonna suck.

He felt like a stalker as he watched her leave her house. She looked sad and he knew that he had made her that way. He followed her car as it headed towards the precinct, randomly catching conversations people were having in their houses but none of them were as important as following Emily.

While he sure as hell didn't want to fight with her but he sure as hell didn't want her to die. He'd had to compartmentalize his life before he'd met her. There was the Bruce Wayne aspect and then there was Batman. Batman had, thus far, won out in most occasions but he was sure that when it came to Emily, Bruce, the real Bruce Thomas Wayne, took control. However, as Batman and Bruce's lives merged the things that he saw shook him to his very core. He couldn't let what happened to Rachel happen to Emily and he was sure that if there was even a misstep in her actions it would, and it would be ten times worse.

She was in her office doubting herself already. She hadn't even started her undercover job and she was doubting herself. God dammit. She could do this. She had to do this. She pushed her chair back and quickly went into the restroom across the hall. She stood in front of the mirror and took a deep breath. "You can do this Emily. You are Emily Page. Daughter of Mike and Abby Page. Older brother to a closet genius." She looked in the mirror again. She missed her family. She missed Bruce and she'd only been fighting with him for what seemed like 10 seconds. She needed some liquor, and something happy. What would make her happy? Bruce. Lucius. Her parents. Her little brother, but wasn't she doing this for him? For her family and Lucius and Bruce? The whole reason she'd wanted to do this job was so that what happened to her wouldn't happen to anyone else. That, and at the time she wanted to get away from Bruce and now she needed him more than ever. "Fuck." She cursed and turned towards the door. "I really need to figure this out." We opened the door to the restroom, wiping her face and stopped. A chill ran up her spine, somebody was watching her.

"Hello? Is anyone here? This could be very awkward if you were listening to my family history!" She called into the restroom. "…And no one's here…that was smooth Emily." She turned back to the door and stopped again before shaking off the feeling and heading back to her office. Olivia and Gordon were waiting for and as soon as she walked in Olivia held up blonde hair dye. "BLONDE?! Really? Really? You want me to go blonde? No! No…that's just…no…No, I can't. I like my hair…my hair is my hair. I'm going to have to go to an insane asylum and talk to the crazy bitch running around the city while dealing with their crappy computers!"

"Emily." Gordon started towards her.

"Boss man, please. This day hasn't gone so well for me and I really need something to keep me from driving off a bridge."

Gordon and Olivia saw that this was taking its toll on her and at the exact moment Gordon was about to say so Olivia did it for him.

"Ok." Olivia put the box down in one of the chairs outside the restroom door and Gordon frowned at her. "Come on boss. It's only hair."

"I'll concede to the hair, but no more shortcuts Emily. This has to go off without a hitch."

"Right-o sir." She sat in the chair next to the box of hair dye and sighed loudly as he walked away.

"I know that this is all a little overwhelming." Olivia took the box and sat down next to Emily.

"A little?"

"Yeah, I was in your shoes once as a rookie and I'm not gonna lie it was hard. I was undercover for 6 months in a mob restaurant."

"Yeah, well I'm not even a rookie…I'm lower than a rookie, I'm a newb! But that's not to be confused with a noob."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"Wow, I'm a nerd talking to a cop about computer lingo…if you don't know I probably shouldn't tell you. Anyway, I have to go back to my office." She stood and walked away leaving Olivia with a box of hair dye and kind of disoriented…Didn't she just say she was a noob, whatever that was, twice?

He, Bruce decided, was an ass. He'd heard the conversation between Emily and Olivia Moynahan and he hadn't realized until now how much this was affecting Emily. This wasn't easy for him to admit, mind you. None of it. Losing Emily for even a small amount of time, and worrying about her every millisecond would kill him. He would never actually tell her this but it was all he could think about. Emily made him into a different person, not Bruce or Batman. She made him just a normal guy in a relationship with a slightly-eccentric, very beautiful, talented, smart as hell woman. She was going to start her undercover job soon and he had a feeling that if he didn't talk to her, when she got back there wouldn't be and Emily and Bruce…and once again he'd be alone.

Emily got home the next morning…it was two days before she was to go undercover and checked her voicemail. She didn't exactly expect Bruce to have called…and he hadn't, but she wasn't going to give in either. Bruce had to know that he couldn't protect her from everything. They were moving her into another apartment tomorrow. They couldn't have anyone following her to her real apartment…she was gonna miss this apartment for the while that she was gone. Why did she agree to this again? To prove that she could protect the people around her? How stupid was that?! She thought as she landed in her bed, fully clothed, berated herself for about 30 minutes for being such a….girl and fell into a restless sleep.