FARCE: FRIENDS AND RELATIONS COMMON EXAMINATION

Summary: When Kanda and Allen's consistent bickering and fighting extended to an enormous food fight in the cafeteria, Komui felt enough was enough. He was to step in and put an end to this madness or everyone will just suffer in hellhole as long as Kanda and Allen are under one roof.

After failing Komui's personality test, Kanda and Allen found themselves in no favorable positions to fight. They were to cooperate and learn the 'Let's get to know each other and be best friends!' game in 7 days, or die cohabiting in some god-forsaken island.

Allen fails a personality test

I'm so dead, dead as any other Akumas that would so much as to step a foot into the Black Order, thought Allen.

"ALLEEEN!!" the bunny boy pounced at the younger, jumping out from nowhere. "SO, how much did you get for the personality test?"

"I don't recall it ever being a personality test," said Allen, looking forlorn. "Wasn't it more like a 'How well do YOU know YOUR friend?' quiz?"

"Same difference," claimed Lavi absentmindedly. "anyhow, you haven't told me how much you've gotten."

Allen stared at Lavi.

Lavi stared at Allen.

After a few seconds, the white-haired exorcist flagged the white sheet of paper in front of Lavi's face, hanging his head in err…disappointment and defeat.

Lavi's eyes widened to the size of saucepans.

There, right in his face, was a big fat red ZERO covering up three quarters of the entire paper.

The marker's comment even had his or her own short paragraph.

Very, very intriguing. Intriguing on 3 accounts. One, the second paper I've failed thus far. Two, seemingly appropriate answers that alas DO NOT answer to the context question. Three, the very, VERY limited scope of understanding and awareness you displayed in your paper.

Please see me.

"How cruel!" exclaimed Lavi, sympathetic. "What did they mean by seemingly appropriate answers? There's no such thing as a definite answer in the context of personalities."

"I wish you could take that sort of riposte to the marker," said Allen, looking more dejected than ever.

"Well, I suppose if you had written anything remotely similar to that person's choice, preference or taste, you should be fine. So how the hell did you manage to get a zero for such a simple quiz?"

Simple? Allen could have chucked the bunny boy out of the window and point and laugh at the despairing fall of the great bookman-to-be.

"That." Allen snatched his unflattering grade from Lavi. "Is a thorough misconception and downright understatement of the year!"

"What? It can't be all that hard to smoke your way through the questions! The sorts of questions they ask are for fifth graders."

Allen wasn't listening. Somewhere in the back of his head, he was planning a very, VERY long vacation away from here and somewhere out there, down the gold coast or a sun-tanning day at a Hawaiian beach.

"Hello? Earth to Allen?" Lavi huffed. "Well, unless you tell me what you wrote for your paper, I can't help you the next time you sit for a retest."

Allen revolved a deadpan gaze to the bookman-to-be, stared at him for a second and then returned back to self-hibernation.

"Oh come on, it can't be all THAT bad!" said Lavi, looking chirpy. "No person is as hard of a jigsaw puzzle to figure out…unless that person is Yuu-chan of course, then I must say that you are one damn unlucky person!! Hahaha!"

Allen lifted his gaze towards Lavi.

Lavi stared back at Allen.

Allen started shredding his zero.

"No shit." was all Lavi could say, wondering if it was even remotely possible to help the 'damn unlucky' boy.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Kanda fails a personality test

"I think you will be pleased to know that your grade isn't the lowest in this cohort," said Marie, settling himself down beside Kanda.

"What? 1 isn't the lowest?" Kanda could almost laugh (I say almost because it would be completely uncharacteristic and, also going against the norms of the Kanda fan club). "What a joke. That person must be the dumbest idiot alive on this planet."

"You can say the same for yourself, Kanda," came a voice in the form of Lenalee. She threw a reprimanding look at the older. "1 is equally shameful to a zero. I don't think you have any authority to mock the other person."

Marie shifted a few centimeters from Kanda who was, at this point of time, emitting his usual vibes of hostility and death. A girl even tried approaching him with a bouquet of roses, which unfortunately wilted upon 5 feets from the exorcist.

"Hn. I'd have you know that such a ridiculous thing like a personality test is of no concern to me. So you can take all your lectures out of here and scam!"

"Oh really?" said Lenalee, eyes glinting maliciously. "Even if it means you have to spend a couple of days living with that person if you fail the sub-paper? Well, if that's the case then I'll take my leave!"

Kanda nearly choked on his tempura.

"What the hell do you mean?!" Kanda stood up, effectively spilling his green tea over the table. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN LIVING WITH THAT PERSON FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS?!"

Marie moved away, far, far away from his friend.