Sirius Black Memories of Azkaban

Hi everyone ^^

My friend MysticSorceror saw my German story and asked me to translate it for her… well actually she threatened to use an online translator if I was unwilling to translate it for her XD anyway that is why I decided to translate it ^^;;

So Myst-chan this is for you even though you are already up to chapter three as I writ this, you are the best *hugs*

Disclaimer: Sirius Black and the Harry Potter world belong to the marvellous J.K. Rowling ^^ I don't make money with this.

Narrative form: Sirius thoughts

Okay so all I have left to say is enjoy and please leave me a review *puppy dog eyes*

1.Thoughts of a prisoner

I sit somewhat relaxed on my plank bed and listen the sounds of the sea.

That in itself wouldn't be such a bad thing, if the plank bed I'm sitting on wouldn't be in a cell in the fortress that's Azkaban.

Yes I am in Azkaban…

… the notorious wizarding prison situated in the middle of the sea secluded from any civilisation.

Azkaban is the most secure prison in existence.

Up to now not a single soul managed to escape its grasp!

This can be completely attributed to its guards, the Dementors.

The Dementors are some of the foulest creatures to walk the earth.

They breed in the darkest and filthiest places and create decay and despair.

They suck peace, hope and happiness out of any human that comes near them.

If they can get away with it they feed off of them until their victims become like them … soulless and evil creatures. Or simply insane!

Their presence nearly make the walls and the masses of water surrounding the fortress useless for preventing the prisoners from escaping, because we all are imprisoned in our minds.

Most of the prisoners are no longer able to think straight if they didn't crack already.

The sun sets … soon I'll be another day closer to eternity.

Yes eternity and my dark visions of the past which plague me in my dreams.

It is dark.

Even the last dusky sunbeams vanished. The only light I had…

… the last rays of hope.

…the last bit of warmth in my dark, icy world.

How long have I been sitting here?

Days? Months? No it's way worse; I've been here for years.

Twelve years, seven months and thirty-two days to be exact.

I never stopped counting the days it gives me an unexplainable clarity of mind to know which day it is.

Today is the twenty-fourth of May.

In sixty-eight days my godson will celebrate his thirteen birthday.

Ah yes Harry…

He is attending Hogwarts now; he probably joined the Quidditch team.

He certainly plays just as well as his father once did.

…James…

Thinking of him hurts me deeply; he was my best friend, my confident, my brother…

… and it is my fault he is dead!

I have James and Lily Potter on my conscience, everything is my fault!

Because of me little Harry lost his parents and has to live with his Muggle relatives, I deserve to be here!

Here in this small dark cell with this tiny barred window, which gives me the little light I have during the day.

It is so terribly cold here no matter which time of the day or season. Here in the cells of Azkaban it is always cold!

Our mercy and conscienceless watchers take care of that. Only those sentenced to death get to see their faces.

Dementors … through their mere presence, with their rattling breath they suck off all the positive energy and thoughts and leave nothing behind but the worst of memories.

Most of the prisoners experience partial amnesia after only a couple of days, they no longer know who they are and once that is achieved the Dementors nearly did it.

They made them lose their minds.

Some are more resistant the process takes longer with them but sooner or later they all lose it, there is no escaping it.

Not that I ever talked to one of them to find out if they are crazy or not. The guards would never allow that, I am a prisoner in the maximum-security wing after all.

Even if they had allowed it I wouldn't want to talk with any of that scum!

They are Death Eaters, they are the enemy … at least they were once.

In their actual state they couldn't hurt a fly. They are done in; I can see it in their eyes.

From one day to the next the last bit of humanity and life vanishes from their eyes and with it goes their mind.

Back then when I could still have an eye on them all the time I saw it daily. That was before I was moved into this cell.

Oh I am still in the maximum-security wing but suddenly I have a cell with a… even though it is really tiny but I have a window!

That my not appear to be much but the little light falling through that window gives me warmth.

I have no idea who I have to thank for this but I'm indebted to them!

Should I ever get out of here I will find out who did this for me and then I will show them my gratitude in my very own way! My lips curl into a sneer at this thought.

Whoever it was has to be very powerful … or have the right connections.

Most likely they would have needed both.

That means it can't be one of my old friends, they don't have enough power… and even if they had it…

… they wouldn't help me…

…because they too think that it was I who spied on the Potters.

They think that I killed Peter and all those Muggles.

And most of all they think that I was He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's right hand man.

So if it wasn't one of my old friends it has to have been one of my old enemies.

They can't really think that I handed over James, my brother, to their master, can they?

…

And what if they do?

Who of those has been rehabilitates that well?

Maybe I should say who of them was clever enough to convincingly play-pretend that they were innocent and were under the Dark Lords spell to make the ministry believe them, so that they still have that sort of power?

…

Thinking about it, the escaped Death Eaters should actually prefer to see me dead rather than help me or make my imprisonment more enjoyable.

Their master after all vanished that night he showed up at James and Lily's and hasn't been seen ever since. They say he died…

Doesn't that mean that it could have been a trap for the Dark Lord? That it was in the spy's intention to get rid of him together with the Potters?

Well and interestingly the whole world seems to think that I was Voldemort's filthy spy.

That's why the Death Eaters should actually hate me as well.

Don't they know what I did?

I've been here for a very long time but I know exactly who, where and why I am here!

I am Sirius Black.

I am sitting in a maximum-security cell in Azkaban surrounded by Death Eaters and Dementors and I am here because I betrayed my best friend, James Potter!

But what is even more painful for me than to know who, where and why I am here, is to know that I am innocent!

I may have betrayed James but not to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!

That naturally doesn't make it any less terrible and it doesn't make me feel less guilty but I didn't do what the whole world seems to be accusing me of!

Still James and Lily are dead and it's my fault.

I should have been more careful!

I should have known better who I, no we, could trust and who not!

I shouldn't have lost grasp of what was going on even though it were dark and confusing times.

I shouldn't have allowed myself to be pulled into the flimsy intrigue of my "friend"!

I failed!

I didn't think the facts through enough!

I was so sure of myself that I became careless.

I thought I had the perfect plan to protect James and his family.

I thought that way he would never find them…

…but with my oh so perfect plan I played them right into his arms without even realizing…

… I was so foolish; I misjudged him even though it was so very obvious…

There you go chapter one is done, so what do you guys think?

More from me soon,

~Raion