Title: Weakness In Me, Ch.1
Disclaimer:Don't own them, never did. Just admire from afar, hoping to bring them closer.
Rating: T
Pairing: Miranda/Andy

The girl was driving her mad, insane, to the brink. Really, did she have to look at her with those adoring eyes? The girl had been driving her to distraction since the first moment she walked into her office, oblivious, innocent even, to the world she had just entered. She couldn't treat her any differently than all the other Emily, Jessica, Susie's that had gone before her.

Yet … how she so desperately wanted to. Those enchanting doe brown eyes. Those eyes, that looked at her like a wounded puppy when she snapped at her over some minor mistake. Didn't she realise she had to, she had to protect both of them. It could not be known that Miranda Priestly 'Ice Queen' had melted, was a puddle of goo when it came to Andrea Sachs.

Those eyes that looked at her like anything she wanted was possible. She continued to give her a list of things to do, others before her had balked at the expectation. ... but oh no, not Andrea. Andrea had made it her purpose to ensure that each and every whim was met. Over time the list had become predictable. Andrea anticipated her needs before she even knew she had them. This would not do. Recently she had begun to throw in the unusual, the unexpected. Andrea initially seemed to halt, then recovered her balance. Her momentum continuing without consideration of failure.

Paris was the closest she had come to revealing herself. That moment Andrea had walked away was the most painful experience she had ever had to endure. Those eyes had looked wounded and betrayed. Those eyes that had sparkled with merriment when sharing a joke with Nigel in the office. Those eyes that used to glint with mischievousness when she anticipated what was necessary and had met the demand without being asked. Those eyes were bruised because of something she had done. She had nearly chased her. Miranda Priestly did not chase anybody, insanity that's what it was.

Then Andrea had come to her hotel room. She had to admire the nerve it had taken to face her so soon. It had taken Miranda a moment to recover from the surprise of seeing Andy at the door. She had seen such genuine regret in her eyes. She had accepted the apology for what it was, heartfelt. It was her own response to the look that had disconcerted her most. She had felt it to her core and while the abandonment had been agonising she was helpless to refuse the apology. To this end she had refused to acknowledge it and had pretended all was as before. But she knew it wasn't and never would be again. The girl had the ability to wound her more than anyone had before.

That realisation had nearly been her undoing. Those eyes were the link to her greatest weakness. No-one could know. It would not do. She would not have it.

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Andy rolled over completely unaware she was the focus of such insistent thoughts across the city. She groaned after looking at her alarm clock. It was Monday morning already, how had that happened.

She had spent her Sunday lounging around her apartment. Wearing her favourite pair of baggy trousers and a t-shirt that was almost translucent she had worn it so much. It always made her feel rebellious on a Sunday to wear her baggy clothes. It was such a change after spending the week dressed up to fit in with the others at Runway. The make-over Nigel had helped her with a few weeks into her new job had stuck. She really enjoyed the less insulting glare Miranda gave her when she walked into the office and threw her coat at her. She had even managed to become comfortable wearing her new clothes and could put together a 'snazzy little outfit', as Nigel referred to them, in the blink of an eye. They allowed her a certain confidence in her day to day activities she had not originally expected.

Sundays were spent planning her week, anticipating every detail and meeting every possible Miranda wish. She had really started to enjoy her job about two months in. Emily had always set her up as the sacrificial lamb in the office. So she had started anticipating all the possible variables that could come up over the next week so she could be one step ahead. This had become her Sunday ritual. She was content in a way she had never thought possible when all she could do for Miranda was done. It had become somewhat of a game to her, trying to outsmart Emily and meet Miranda's every need. If she occasionally thought about Miranda's desires as well, that was normal, wasn't it?

The last year had been a definite growing experience for her. Almost a year ago today she had blindly walked into Runway offices and had succeeded in getting the job as second assistant. She knew next to nothing about fashion and what's more didn't really care. Yes she could appreciate a nice outfit, but that was as far it went. Did she know who made it? No. Did she know if it was this seasons or last seasons? No. She couldn't even say what decade it was from, never mind the season! But while that was the case she no longer thought fashion irrelevant.

Last year she had been clueless, blind even. She had not appreciated how she was living a life expected of her. Nate had been a good friend, someone she could spend time with, laugh with. So when people had started asking about boyfriends he had been the obvious choice. He was interested in her, had similar pastimes and could cook. She thought love would come. Thought that the want she had read about and heard about would come eventually. It never did. Her relationship with him went unchallenged. No-one else had inspired that want she had heard about. No-one else had made her love or lust after them without reason. No-one ..... until almost a year ago.

Last year she had good friends like Nate, Doug and Lily. Every weekend they had gone out. First it was dinner, then the pub for a couple of drinks before they went dancing. Any variety had come in the meal she ordered or the club they went to. Sometimes she had ordered chicken, other times steak. Sometimes they went out to a club where Doug could meet someone, other times they went out to find someone for Lily. They laughed, they drank and they went home. They had followed the same routine week after week. She couldn't see past the routine and the predictability. She had never thought to try ..... not until almost a year ago.

Yes, life had definitely taken a turn almost a year ago. But she was happy now, content in a way she had never considered before walking into Runway. When she remembered this she didn't think about Nate, now living in Boston in his new job and new girlfriend. She didn't think about Doug and Lily who she still saw very occasionally. She didn't think about her job as joint first assistant to Miranda Priestly of Runway. What she thought about were ice blue eyes that could see through her, into her and could arrest all her attention without even trying to. Yes cool ice blue eyes.

Beep… Beep…Beep…

Oh shit her alarm, time for Monday to begin.

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