Edward and Bella walked into Edward's bedroom. He walked over to his newly purchased bed and laid down, staring at Bella who was putting a c.d. into the stereo. Alice had gotten a hold of Bella and played dress up with her. Bella was currently wearing a low cut dark red sweater and a black flowing skirt. Edward's mind had been in the gutter all day ever since Jasper had told him he'd been getting strong feelings of lust whenever he had been in the same room as Edward and Bella. He didn't want to have sex just yet; he wanted to wait until they were married. He hadn't waited over ninety years for someone like Bella and marriage to lose it in a moment of lust. But that didn't stop Edward's thoughts whatsoever.

"Bella, come here…" Edward said, patting the space beside him on the bed.

"Sure. What do you want?" Bella asked, turning towards Edward.

"Come over here and lay down with me." Edward said.

Edward pulled Bella to him, kissing her gently. He loved the way Bella responded to his kisses. Those small sounds of pleasure that escaped her only added fuel to his fire. He started kissing down her jaw and her neck and the loud moan that Bella made gave him a raging hard on.

"Bella…" Edward whispered in Bella's ear.

"Y-yes Edward?" Bella replied, breathing hard.

"I need you, love…" Edward said, letting Bella feel what she did to him. Bella gasped.

"Anything for you." Bella said, sitting up.

"Bella…will you go down on me?" Edward asked, fearing she'd say no.

"I would love to." Bella said, scooting down the bed.

Edward unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, pulling them and his boxers down. His erection finally freed, his sighed and heard Bella's shocked gasp. Edward's boner was at least 8 inches long, if not more. Bella licked her lips and leaned in towards Edward. Bella used her hand and started slowly giving Edward a hand job before she went down on him. The groans and moans Edward was making encouraged Bella and she bent her head down and took Edward's erection in her mouth. Edward nearly screamed in pleasure. But not a moment later, Bella stopped moving completely.

"Bella? Why did you stop? You were doing amazing…" Edward asked.

"umh efard.....IM STUKD!" Bella said, her mouth stuck to Edward's hard on. Bella started freaking out. "Fwat ar weh gohin ta do!?"

"Oh shit…Carlisle!" Edward yelled, feeling Bella drooling on him.

Carlisle walks into the room a moment later then stops, turning his back and closing his eyes.

"Edward, I'm not having a threesome with you and Bella." Carlisle said, getting ready to leave.

"FWAT!?!?!?" Bella managed, embarrassed.

"Carlisle…Bella is stuck to me." Edward whispered, hoping none of the others could hear him. He glared at Carlisle's back for good measure.

"Stuck? Edward…explain." Carlisle said, turning to face Edward and Bella.

"Well, Bella and I were making out. I asked her to...help me out...and she got stuck..." Edward explained.

".... swet dish isan akwerd..." Bella mumbled around Edward's hard on.

"I'll go get the hot water." Carlisle said, sighing and turning around, leaving the room.

Emmett strolls down the hallway, passing Edward's bedroom and glancing in. He stops when he sees Edward staring out of the window while Bella is hunched over Edward's crotch, not moving.

"Oh my God! Alice! Bring your camera! Hurry!" Emmett said, pushing the door wide open and smiling.

Alice walks into the room, shaking her head.

"Hey guys I was wondering…OH MY GOD!" Alice screeched, laughing with Emmett.

"GET OUT!" Edward shouted, making Bella flinch on him. Alice ran out of the room and came back an instant later, holding two cameras. Bella's face is a permanent shade of red.

"No! No pictures!" Edward growled.

"I am so sending this to everyone! This could be our Christmas card!" Alice said, snapping pictures.

Emmett turns his to a video camera function and starts recording everything, laughing as he does. Carlisle comes back a moment later with a tea kettle full of hot water. He stops, seeing Emmett and Alice taking pictures and recording.

"Oh dear…" Carlisle said, walking to the bed. "This is hot water." Carlisle tried to position himself, very awkwardly, in a position so that the hot water would take effect.

"This is just too hilarious!" Emmett said, Alice snapping pictures like a mad woman.

"I'm going to kill you both!" Edward said, glaring.

"AHHHHH MEH TONK!" Bella screamed, pulling back and putting her hands over her mouth. The hot water didn't affect Edward at all. Emmett's nearly in the floor laughing so hard.

"I'm leaving now. Please don't do this again, okay?" Carlisle said, walking out of the room.

"Uuughhhh it barns…" Bella whined.

"Come over here and kiss me, Bella." Edward said.

"Yuh know Alwice an Emet are still har an ya pants are down…" Bella said, looking at Edward.

"Shit! Emmett, Alice, OUT!" Edward said, fixing his pants and standing up, ready to chase them.

"We'll just go get these developed…" Emmett said, smirking.

"Don't mind us; you won't even notice we are here, right Emmett?" Alice said, giggling.

"You can watch. You have blackmail photos to develop." Emmett said.

"Good point. You have a video to make copies of... you never know when it will come in handy" Alice said, smiling widely. They ran out of the room.

"I'm going to kill them." Edward muttered.

"You know we're not doing that again until I'm a vampire, right Edward?" Bella asked, kissing him.

"I know. Maybe sex won't be as tragic." Edward replied.

"I hope... maybe we might take down a few houses." Bella said, yelling that last part so Emmett and Alice can hear then winks at Edward.

"We'll just have sex on Emmett's bed." Edward said, smiling.

"OH NO!" Emmett shouted.

……

..

Author's note: This lovely fic was co-authored by AmericanPoet and earthlover. We got bored one night and thought up a bunch of hilarious one-shot stories and decided to act them out and write them. I wrote the parts of Edward, Emmett, and Carlisle. Earthlover did a magnificent job of Bella and Alice. Tell us what you think! We thrive on reviews!