A/N: Ok everyone; don't kill me for this chapter. It wasn't all fun and games for Edward in Juvie.

I couldn't sleep that night. I laid awake staring at…well…nothing. It was pitch black in the cell at night, something that I had never really gotten used to. There was a faint light down at the guard desk, but it didn't reach all the way over to my cell. The lights popped on at 6am, and the cell doors opened.

Today was a shower day, thank God. I was a mess from yesterday and from lack of sleep. The shower hall was a large room with several partitions the size of a restroom stall. Amazingly it was more private than the locker room at school, where you stood in a large room with shower heads sticking out of the wall. I guess that with the age group of the guys and the fact that they had pedophilic guards watching our every move, they decided that a 3-wall shower was the way to go. Any modesty that I may have had prior to being here had quickly faded. There's nothing in the world like being in a room full of thirty naked ass guys four times a week to shed you of all dignity.

After showering and getting a change of clothes, I headed in to get breakfast. Crap, today is Monday, burnt waffle day. I don't know how this place can burn waffles every Monday. It's just not that complicated of a thing to cook. I slid through the line and headed over to sit at my empty table.

As I was drowning the waffle that threatened to scrape my gums raw with syrup, Eric sat down across from me.

"Did you hear what happened?" Eric said in a rushed voice.

"No what?" I said in an equally excited voice and then rolled my eyes.

"Don't be a dick," he said, "That kid Ricky died last night at the hospital!"

The room spun around once and my eyes refocused on Eric. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, a guy that works with the Doc told me this morning. Sad, huh?"

Before I even knew what I was doing, my tray of food was halfway across the room and I was shoving kids left and right to remove myself from the cafeteria. On my way to wherever I was going I passed the admin area where I was brought in on my first day. I hefted one of the chairs in the hallway over my head and smashed it against the window that looked out into the cell block. The window broke into little pieces like a car windshield, but the chair bounced back towards me when it hit the wire grid that was imbedded inside the glass.

The whole way down the hall, I was yelling and shoving anything that was in the way. I kicked the panic bar on the door that lead out into the yard, and the door flew open.

I started running. Once I hit the fence at the far end of the field I realized that there was nowhere to go, so I ran along the fence until another one stopped me. My fingers went through the chain-links and I shook the fence, willing it to open and let me go. My legs grew weak and I collapsed to the ground on my knees, my hands still grasping the fence. My breathing was ragged and coming in short gasps.

I don't know how long I sat there. It started raining at some point, but I refused to move. A couple of sets of hands removed my fingers from the fence and pulled me to my feet. They were talking, but I didn't hear them. I closed my eyes and let them lead me inside. I was barely aware of what was happening to me. I know that I was in the infirmary and that someone had stripped me of my wet clothes.

I opened my eyes to see Payne and the Doc talking to one another several feet away from me. I sat up in bed and noticed that I was only in my boxers. I searched the room to find a folded pile of clothes on a chair next to my bed. My chest tightened when I thought of how they even got there. They had already replaced Ricky's duties with another inmate.

I dressed undetected by Payne or the Doc and left the room. I didn't know where to go. I just wanted to be left alone. I ended up in the library, and sunk down into the back corner of the room.

How could I live with myself now? How could I face my family?

I just fucking killed somebody.

Someone has just died because of my stupidity.

I was a murderer.

I wished that I had kept those remaining six pills so that I could have the same fate as Ricky, I deserved no less.

The lights flashed overhead signaling the end of the day. I stayed in the library; I didn't have the energy or will to move.

I hadn't eaten all day and my stomach was rumbling. I figured if I stayed here long enough I would die of dehydration and starvation. That would be a strange way to go, I mean, who just sits around and waits for death to take them, especially if you have the means to survive?

But that would be too easy. I deserved worse.

So I began to plan my own murder. My state of mind was weak; I wanted nothing more than to die at this moment.

I could slit my wrists, but that was too cliché. Plus where would I get a razor blade at this time of night?

Hanging? That would be worse than the wrist cutting. How many movies and TV shows have a guy hang himself in jail? Too many.

Suffocation? I was pretty sure I couldn't hold a pillow over my face long enough to stop breathing. And I know that I couldn't drown myself, I couldn't purposely hold myself underwater. Nope, those two ways would need an accomplice.

Could I spike my Tab with liquid Drano? Do they even make Tab anymore?

I didn't have the means or the time to waste to contract a terminal disease, so that was out.

Jumping from a high place? What if I survived? There would be no guarantee of death that way. There was not a high enough building here to even try.

Electrocution? No toasters, no bathtubs.

Explosives? Meh, too complicated. I would have to collect too many things to prepare to make some sort of explosive. It would take too long to prepare and I would probably have talked myself out of it by then.

There was only one choice and it would be easy.

I pulled myself off the floor and made my way to my destination. I had to keep my mission stealthy. The lights were out, but there were several dim lights illuminating the hallways.

Once I made it to the right place, I found a decent length of hose and some rags and went to work preparing the means to my demise.

I got everything settled and sealed up the best that I could and started the engine. I closed my eyes and let the Carbon Monoxide fill the inside of the car. This would be a simple death, just like falling asleep. Though it should have been a painful agony filled death, I really didn't have the time.

My eyes were closed, but I could sense movement all around me. There was something up my nose, I tried to bat it away, but I couldn't move my arms.

"Edward? Do you hear me?" a familiar voice said. "Wake up son."

My eyes opened a fraction before slamming shut again with just the weight of my eyelids. "Where am I?" I whispered because my throat was raw.

"You're at the hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

I moved my head slowly from side to side, but then my brain flooded my sight with the events of yesterday.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to." I sobbed talking about Ricky not myself.

They kept me locked in the hospital for three days. My father was there the entire time trying to figure me out. Dr. Johnson was in and out of the room also. I just stayed silent. It seemed that they didn't know the reason for my mental instability; they didn't know my involvement with the death of another person. They didn't know me at all.

I was allowed to return to Meadowlands, but I was watched like a hawk. Eric didn't talk to me for fear of me lashing out. Even Jacob kept his distance. I could see the disappointment in his face when he looked at me. He probably wished that I had succeeded.

I was released from my tutoring duties. I guess they didn't want any other murders to take place.

My appointments with Dr. Johnson had increased to three times a week and today was my first one since the 'attempt'.

I walked into the office and sat in my usual chair, but instead of Dr. Johnson sitting at the desk there was a different but familiar face.

"Hello Edward," he said folding his hands on the desk. "Do you remember me?"

Fuck yeah I remember you. What kind of game is being played here?

"Carlisle suggested that I take over your therapy sessions for now on. How does that sound?"

It sounds like a crock of shit. If my father thinks that I will even speak to this guy he's got another thing coming. He was just sent here to spy on me.

"I know what you're thinking; I'm not here to spy on you." Freaky.

"I'm here for you to talk to. As your Doctor, I cannot disclose anything you say to me to anyone. It's just you and me here." Yeah, right.

I found myself lifting out of my seat and heading for the door. I turned and glared in Dr. Price's direction before wrenching the door open and storming out of the room.