Two and a Half Men Plus Two Girls

Charlie/OC

The twins are about to meet their father, uncle and cousin. The girls have their opinion about their newly found cousin Jake.

A/N: This is my very first 'Two and a Half Men' fan fiction story. Please bear with me!

Disclaimer: I don't own 'Two and Half Men', CBS and Warner Brothers does. I only own my original characters.

Cousin Jake Is a Toilet-Trained Gorilla

"So when do I meet my nieces?" Alan asked.

"Julianne is going to bring them after they have their volleyball practice," Charlie said.

"Whoa, did someone say 'volleyball' as in beach volleyball?" Jake asked as he emerged from the balcony.

"Your cousins play volleyball, but it is indoor volleyball, Taterhead," Charlie said.

"Gee, you didn't have to insult me!" Jake walked towards his room.

"At around what time we are expecting them?"

"In about two hours."

"Will Grandma be here?"

"Of course she'll be here! She wants to make sure they are here and they're mine!"

Two hours later, Evelyn showed up. She was wearing a coral skirt suit with a matching floral print shell.

"Alan, where is that ingrate brother of yours?" she asked an extremely nervous Alan. "Where are my new granddaughters? What about my grandson?"

"Charlie is getting a drink," he replied. "Julianne didn't bring them yet. Jake is sulking in his room. Charlie!"

"What!" Charlie whined as he entered the living room carrying a drink and saw his mother. "Hello Satan!"

"Why do you hate me so much? I gave you and your brother life. At least give me some respect so death would not be so disappointing!"

"You are toxic She-Devil!"

Before Evelyn could come up with a response to Charlie's comment, there was a knock on the door. Out of nowhere, Berta appeared and opened the door. Julianne was at the door with a teenage girl flanked on each side. One girl was petite had blue eyes and brunette hair she resembled Julianne. The other girl was taller and a blonde with brown eyes. She resembled Charlie, but with softer and more feminine features.

"Hello, I am Berta," Berta introduced herself. "I am Charlie's housekeeper."

"I am Julianne," Julianne said as she and her daughters entered. "These are Isabella and Madison. Girls this is Berta, your father's housekeeper."

"Mom, where is our father?" the blonde asked.

"I am you daddy," Charlie replied. "You must be Isabella."

"No, I am Madison," the blonde replied.

"I am Isabella," the brunette chimed in and looked at her father's glass. "Are you drunk?"

"No girls, he didn't know which is which," Julianne said.

"I am your uncle Alan," Alan shook his nieces' hands.

"Pleased to meet you," Isabella and Madison smiled.

"I am your grandmother," Evelyn said. "One of these days, we should go shopping and have some girl talk. Oh, you can call me Grandmommy."

"Jake, your cousins Madison and Isabella are here!"

As if on cue, Jake ran from his room to the living room. He greeted Evelyn and Julianne without any problem. However, when he introduced himself to Isabella and Madison, he was slightly oafish. Charlie cringed with embarrassment.

"Hey Jake, they are your first cousins," Charlie hissed. "You don't flirt with family!"

"This coming from a man who wanted to marry our stepsister Courtney," Alan said. "Also, the same man who wanted to sleep with our potential half-sister Gloria."

"In my defense, Courtney is a con artist. Gloria and I were drunk. Dammit Alan, this is supposed to be a happy occasion. Jake, what I was trying to say is that you don't flirt with family. You could have a child and possibly a grandchild that would grow up to be a stalker."

As if on cue, Rose entered the house through the deck. The twins were intrigued by this new, yet uninvited guest.

"Charlie Harper, are you having a party and haven't invited me?" Rose asked with indignant disgust in her voice.

"Rose, this isn't a party," Charlie explained. "I am meeting my twin daughters for the first time today!"

"You have twin daughters? Where are they? I want to meet them!"

"Rose, this is Madison and Isabella. Madison and Isabella, this is Rose, my stalker."

The girls and Rose shook hands and exchanged their 'enchantees'. Rose was amazed that the twins were fluent in French and struck up a brief conversation. Charlie had to pry Rose away from the two girls.

"Charlie, what's the big deal?" Rose asked. "I am only trying to be nice."

"No, you are using them to get to me!"

"Well, if that's how you feel, I am leaving! Isabella and Madison, it has been a pleasure to meet you!"

"You too, Rose!" Madison and Isabella replied in unison as Rose left the house through the deck.

The rest of the meet and greet went off with barely a hitch. Unfortunately, Alan and Charlie's attempt to get Jake to behave in front of Julianne and the girls failed. The teenage boy had more than once farted and belched without apologizing. He even told some fart jokes which embarrassed everyone else in the room. Alan ordered Jake to go to his room and that they will have a long talk later. When Julianne finally told the girls it was time that they get home, Charlie hoped that they weren't offended by Jake's behavior.

"Cousin Jake is a toilet-train gorilla," Isabella finally said. "Uncle Alan is an okay guy, but kind of a dork. Charlie, I mean Dad, is a cool guy!"

"You said it," Berta said as she high-fived the twins. "I like you better than that obnoxious cousin of yours!"

"Girls, let's go!" Julianne shouted as she left the house. "Charlie, we will be in touch and I mean it!"

"Okay!" Charlie said. "Call me when you get home so I know you got home safely. Nice to finally meet you girls! Stay safe!"

"Isabella and I are pleased to meet you, too Dad!" Madison said as she and Isabella ran out of the house.

TBC (MEN MEN MEN MEN MEEEEEEEN)