Hello, everyone! ((Waves melodramatically)) This is Agent000 reporting from, um...Agent000land? Ahem. Me and AdventureAddict both decided to get ourselves a joint account so we could coauthor stories with each other more easily. So, our first assignment: Each takes a fic from the other that badly needs rewriting and rewrites it the best they can from their perspective. I took AdventureAddict's fanfic "The New Neighbors" and began to rewrite it, and she took my fanfic "My Body, Your Soul" and began to rewrite it. Both will be up shortly.

So, this chapter was incredibly fun to rewrite. I was very shocked when I started writing from Robyn's point of view, since that had not been done in the original version, but somehow it had just started...happening? ((chuckles)) Both Robyn and Kari were SO much fun to write. I suspect Ed will be quite fun to write too in future chapters, but he just has to get more time to shine.

Anyway, I extend a hearty welcome to both the returning fans of this story and to the newcomers who are reading this for the first time. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did rewriting it.

Disclaimer: Neither of us owns Fullmetal Alchemist. I'll come up with a more creative disclaimer when it's not four in the morning.

School was boring. Everyone knew that. Everyone accepted that. Well, except for the teachers who didn't seem to get how boring they were, and the parents who always thought it was nowhere nearly as boring as what they had to go through at work.

I slung my backpack over my arm and cringed as the book-laden bag fell against my back. Oh what cruel friends books could be. They loved you one moment, and the next, they shouted "School!" from every orifice. Wow, books had orifices? I would have to think more on that later. Right then, I had to get to school.

As soon as I stepped outside, I knew something was wrong. Now would be a perfect time to pretend I was psychic until I was disproved, as always seemed to happen. One of these days, I swore I would guess something before it happened. In the meantime, my job would be to look around and figure out where the wrong vibe was coming from.

The grass was still as green as ever, so it couldn't be that. Well, the Gurps' grass was as brown as ever. Massachusetts wasn't a desert, so I wasn't sure how my neighbors always managed to kill their grass, but they somehow pulled it off. Everything they touched seemed to fall into disorder. Nice. What a talent.

I flicked my eyes up at the sky, but saw nothing to explain the feeling. It was a rather nice day, and I scowled and shook my fist at the sky for being nice on a school day. Stupid sky.

Now where had I not looked? Oh yeah, toward the other neighbor's house, supposing that even counted. That house had been vacant for a long time. Still, I looked, saw something different, and breathed a sigh of relief at the validation I wasn't going crazy. A moving van was parked in front of the house. That was what I had subconsciously registered as I'd stepped out the door. We were going to have new neighbors, and I found myself silently praying that these neighbors would be better than the Gurps.

Having solved the mystery and concluding with a sigh that I still wasn't psychic, I readjusted my backpack and started on my way to school. Evil school, it stood there across the street from my house, laughing at me every morning. It liked to make me think about school even on the weekends by sitting there within view of my house. Oh yes, I knew its evil plot.

First period. Chemistry. Ugh. Why did I have to have a thinking subject first thing in the morning? This school was just having a laugh at my expense, I knew it. Well, I didn't think the joke was funny, and I was going to have to find a way to get the last laugh on the school one of these days.

After checking in at my locker, I entered the classroom and made my way over to my desk and was about to sit down when I stopped, holding my books against my chest like a shield. The desks were built to fit two people, but I had not yet been given a partner. That is, I hadn't had one before today.

The boy sitting on the other side of my desk started and turned to look at me, and I took a step backward. I wasn't afraid of the boy per se, but there was something so—-so—-something—-about the boy it was unnerving to me.

I couldn't quite remember what was bothering me. He had long blond hair pulled back into a braid, which registered as familiar somehow, but my brain had still not woken up from its late morning snooze. He was wearing gloves too, which seemed odd for him to be wearing them in the classroom. And then there was the red coat he was wearing. It wasn't so cold that someone would need to wear their jacket inside.

Then it hit me. This boy was dressed like Edward Elric. How had I not thought of that right away? It was further proof that my brain should not be expected to exercise in the morning. Even watching Fullmetal Alchemist too early resulted in a wide open jaw and drool on my chin.

My shoulders relaxed and I smiled. If this boy was to be my new desk mate, that could be rather cool. We could both be obsessed fans together.

"Take a picture. It'll last longer."

I blinked a couple times as I registered where I was and realized the speaker had been the boy I'd been looking at, as though moving lips weren't a clue that someone might be speaking. Perhaps I needed to perform a brain transmutation to bring my brain back from the dead.

I looked into the boy's eyes for the first time, and simultaneously leapt for joy and cringed when I saw his eyes were golden like Edward's. This guy was obsessed, maybe more than I was, if that was even possible.

My brain came online and I remembered how to speak. "I left my camera at home."

The boy rolled his eyes and sighed, and I felt the heat rising in my face as I realized he had been sarcastic. Stupid, stupid brain. When I woke up, it was supposed to wake up with me. I was going to murder it—-with a hatchet, or I would drop it from a tall building, or I would boil it, mash it, and put it in a stew…

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and sat down in my seat, even though "Ed's" presence next to me made me feel a little bit uneasy, but I would get used to it soon enough, once I got used to the idea that I had a realistic Edward Elric sitting in the seat next to me.

I placed my books on the desk and turned to face the boy. "I'm Robyn."

"Edward," he said, and I blinked, not sure I'd heard right. After a minute, I decided I had, and I laughed. "Ed" scowled at me and said, "What's so funny?"

"What's your real name?"

"Edward. I told you that."

I still didn't believe him, and I told him so in the midst of my giggles. He groaned and said, "What's so hard to believe about that?

"Um, maybe the way you're dressed?" I said.

"What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?"

I was spared having to answer, because Mr. Duncan walked into the classroom right then. I breathed a sigh of relief even as "Ed" shot me a glare and turned to face the teacher. I knew I wouldn't be able to get out of answering his question for long, but by then, I'd have had time to think up a legitimate answer.

As soon as the period ended, I gathered my books and rushed out of the room. I had no idea why I was behaving this way, since "Ed" hadn't done anything to hurt me or anything, yet he'd still managed to trigger something in me I hadn't felt in a while. Perhaps it was the fangirl in me.

I stopped in the hallway and leaned against a locker to catch my breath. I was being silly. Edward was a common name, and even though this guy dressed like Edward Elric, it was possible he could also have the name of Edward. It was unlikely, but still possible. Maybe if I had asked him his last name, he would have given me a name I could have believed. I would have to try that next time.

"Hey, Robbie, whatcha doin'?"

I looked up and smiled as my friend Kari walked over to where I was and leaned against the locker next to me. I needed something normal in my life after dealing with Wonderboy in Chemistry class—-though I wasn't sure Kari counted as "normal", but she would have to do.

"We studied alchemy in Chemistry today."

Kari raised an eyebrow, half interested, half bored, in her strange Kari way. "Really?"

"Uh huh," I said. I knew Kari was bored and wanted to talk about something other than schoolwork, but I pretended I hadn't noticed. I knew she was at least a little bit interested in the subject of alchemy, since she had been the one to introduce me to Fullmetal Alchemist in the first place. "And do you know who was sitting next to me in class?"

By this point, Kari had moved to inspecting her nails, which I knew was a definite sign of her wanting to move onto something more interesting, but wasn't annoyed enough to say so yet. "No. You have a partner now?"

"Yep, just got him today."

Kari's attention turned on me, and I smiled. Of course the silly girl would pay attention once a mysterious new boy was mentioned.

"Is he hot?"

I blushed, but continued smiling. How was one supposed to answer a question like that? It was an Edward Elric clone who had been sitting next to me, and I was having to answer whether he was hot or not?

"Oh, oh, he is! You're blushing. What does he look like?"

"Well…" I licked my lips and looked both ways to make sure no one important was coming our way, namely a certain Ed clone. "He—-He looks kind of like—-Edward Elric?"

"Oh my gosh!" shrieked Kari, who jumped a couple inches in the air and grabbed my shirt and shook me. "Tell me you asked him out on a date. Tell me. Tell me!"

I couldn't talk for those painstaking few seconds as Kari shook my shirt, unless one counted the "Uwah uwah uwah" sounds coming out of my throat from lack of control. I regained my sense of balance and grabbed Kari's arm so it could do no more damage.

"Kari, I barely even know the guy! I only met him a few minutes ago."

"That's no excuse. You can't let a hottie like that get away from you."

I chuckled and shook my head. I couldn't help it. Kari could be rather annoying when she got like this, but there was something so endearing about her quirkiness at the same time. There was no point in arguing with her at the moment as I needed to get to P.E., and I tried to wriggle free of Kari's grip, but Kari held firm.

"Kari, let go! You want me to be late for P.E.?"

"I'll let you go if you'll promise to ask him out."

I rolled my eyes and forced some air out of the corner of my mouth. "Kari, if you make me late, you'll be late too, now let me go!"

"Why won't you just ask him out?"

"I—" I was cut off before I could answer by the bell ringing, and without any further words, Kari released her death grip and took off running for P.E. I stashed my books and sprinted after her. I hoped I wouldn't be late. If I was, it would all be Kari's fault.

I arrived in the gymnasium and collapsed against the nearest wall, out of breath. What was the point of staying now that I'd already gotten my exercise? Maybe I could talk the teacher into believing that. Then again, they were probably in league with the school and wanted to make sure I hated it as much as possible.

"What took you so long?" Kari said as she crossed her arms and strutted toward me.

I buried my face in my hands as I went to my knees in melodramatic annoyance. "Argh, what did I ever do to anger the gods so much that they had to make us share P.E.?"

"Oh, get up, goof ball." She slapped my back and I raised my head to look at her. "I think your boyfriend is here."

"He's not my b—-" I cut off my sentence as soon as I realized what she was saying, and I looked around the room. "Wait, he is?"

Sure enough, a teacher from one of the other classrooms was leading Mr. Clone Boy into the room. Kari started giggling in an annoying fangirl way which made my stomach do flip flops at the thought of going out on a date with this guy as she kept suggesting. I so wanted to kill her right then.

"There you go, Edward," said the teacher, "if you have any questions, Mr. Carli will be happy to answer them for you."

I felt Kari's gaze piercing into the side of my head and I turned to look at her, hoping that would make it stop, but it only got worse. "What?" I asked.

She put her hands on her hips. "His name is Edward too? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, I—-"

"No," she said, and she grabbed my hand and pulled me over to where Edward was standing. "You're going out with this guy. No excuses!"

"Kaaaariiii…" She didn't seem to hear my pleas, either that or she was ignoring them. Either way, she was evil, and I think she knew it and would just laugh if I were to tell her so.

She thrust me into Edward's field of vision, saying, "Tell him! Tell him!"

I sighed and rolled my eyes as I turned away from Edward's confused gaze and looked at the pushy girl at my side. "Kari…"

Edward raised an eyebrow and regarded both of us with mild curiosity. "Tell me what?"

Oh, if only you knew. "Um," I said, "You know, you're kind of short."

"What?!"

I knew I had said the wrong thing and would get murdered if I stuck around, so I tore away from Kari and took off running across the gym. Who knew he would not only look like Edward Elric and share his first name, but act like him too? This was kind of creepy, especially now that I was on the run for my life.

"So I'm short, huh? Call me short again! Tell me I'm short!"

That wasn't what I had expected to hear from someone who acted so much like Edward Elric, but who was I to judge how someone like him was supposed to act? Oh right, perhaps I was in a place to judge, being shorter than Mr. Ed himself. It was surprising he hadn't realized that yet. He must really have some issues with his height to not notice.

He was almost upon me, but I was not going to let him catch me. No homicidal Edward Elric clone could catch the great Robyn Davenport. Now would be an excellent time to utilize my gymnastics skills and wow him into forgetting what he was chasing me for.

As it turned out, I didn't have to do much, because before I could make my first move, I tripped over myself and fell into a crumpled heap on the ground, and because Ed had been so close behind me, he tripped as well and added his weight to the pile of Robyn.

"Nice!" shouted Kari, calling from the other side of the gym. "You guys are off to a great start! Keep it up!"

I shook my fist at Kari and we untangled ourselves from each other. Ed shot me a glare and said, "What do you mean I'm short? You're shorter than me!"

So he had noticed, and yet had still overreacted. I shook my head and started laughing, unable to control myself. He crossed his arms and seemed to be staring right into my soul, which I caught onto after a while and stopped laughing as I asked him what he was looking at.

"You've got purple eyes. That's weird."

I scoffed. "No weirder than golden eyes."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is!"

"No it isn't!"

"Yes it—-" Ed didn't get to finish his statement as Mr. Carli called to everyone in the gym to get into their appointed seats, and I smirked at Ed and jumped up, shouting about how I'd won since he hadn't been able to finish his sentence. I didn't realize until later how much I would regret doing that.

Edward walked up to Mr. Carli to ask him about where he was supposed to sit, and the teacher pointed at the empty spot next to me. Great, I had to deal with him again? Ed's not a bad guy or anything, but I had just won a battle against him. It wouldn't be safe to gloat if he sat right next to me.

Edward walked up and plopped down next to me on the floor and crossed his legs. He looked at me and said, "Davenport?" There was no point in responding to that, so I dignified the comment with a snort. That seemed to shut him up.

Mr. Carli ran us through our routine exercises, and then announced that we were all going to the weight room and each needed a partner. I had always paired up with Kari for these things, and so my first reaction was to run to her, which I did, but she crossed her arms and glared at me with disapproval.

"Aren't you going with Ed?"

I turned and looked at the boy, then turned back to face Kari and shook my head in slight embarrassment. No way was I going with Mr. Fangirl's Dream. Kari wouldn't hear it, and she grabbed me and forcibly turned my body around so I was looking at the object of our attention.

"Look at him, Robbie, all alone. It's so sad!" I looked, and I had to agree it was pretty sad. Poor Ed was looking around, trying to find a partner, but everyone else had already paired up with their friends. It was amazing how fast a whole class could do that.

"Yeah, but—-" I still wasn't sure I could take the idea of partnering up with Boy Wonder, even though he sat next to me in Chemistry. "Who will you pair up with?"

"I'll go with Joe," she said. I rolled my eyes. It figured she'd take the option of going with her boyfriend in an attempt to force me to hang out with Ed. "Now go on!" She gave me a rough shove in Ed's direction, and I staggered a few steps before I regained my footing. I shrugged and decided to just do as she'd said. This was only a partnering for gym, nothing special. Besides, I had to show off the awesome skills gymnastics had given me. Even Ed wouldn't be able to beat that.

I went and told him I'd be his partner, which he agreed to, and so we both made our way to the weight room. There were several different stations to work with, and so we started at the station with all the mats on the floor as our first station. We would be doing tummy crunches.

I stuck my tongue out at Ed as we both laid down on the mats. "I bet I can do more crunches in a minute than you can."

"You're on!"

Mr. Carli blew his whistle, and we crunched. And crunched. And crunched some more. I was starting to wonder if my insides really were crunching when the teacher blew his whistle again and I plopped onto my back, gasping for breath. I grinned a cheesy grin and announced, "Fifty!"

Ed snickered, so I turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow. He looked back mischievously and said, "Fifty-one."

I sat up and shouted. "No way! No one can beat me at crunches!"

Ed sat up and patted my head. I knew he was mocking me, and I was seething inside at his very touch. "Birdie, just admit it, you lost."

I ground my teeth. Birdie? "My name is Robyn!" But he was already on his feet and had run laughing to the next station. He was so dead now.

I found Ed at the weights station. This would be a nice, slow, and miserable death for the poor boy. Never compete with a gymnast. Even though we specialized in flexibility rather than strength, we still had to be strong to pull off the feats we did. I set the weights at 35, a bit high for starting out, but I needed to make sure it was hard for Ed to keep up.

After my turn was up, Ed stationed himself at the weights and raised the weight to 40. He lifted it easily, as though he was just warming up. Well, we'd see about that.

I raised it to 45. He raised it to 50. I went to 55. He went to 60. After I got as far as 85, I could no longer lift the weights, and Ed was standing behind me, snickering. I shot a glare at him and told him that if he was so tough, he should come and lift these stupid weights. He shrugged, set it to 95 out of spite, and tugged as hard as he could—-and lifted the weights.

I was so going to kill him.

We finished with the exercises, and we were both covered in sweat. I was wondering if I was dead yet, because if I wasn't, I knew I would be soon. Ed had practically killed me back there. I stumbled out of the weight room and managed to limp into the locker room.

Kari raised an eyebrow when she saw me and said, "What happened to you?"

"Ed the Tornado," I moaned.

Kari laughed and said, "Aw, did the amazing widdo Robbie finally get beaten?"

I slapped her and walked on past, sweaty shirt and all. It had completely escaped my mind to change into something less—-wet. I was too mad to think. How could I have been beaten? There had been some people I had teamed up with before who could beat me in some things, but not in everything.

"Hey, Rob, catch!" I spun around just in time to see Kari toss a t-shirt in my direction, and I caught it just before it went all over my face.

"I think you're going to need it after all that," she said with a chuckle. I glared at her and stormed off.

My list of people to kill had just gained another member.

Thank you to everyone for reading that, and I hope you enjoyed it. Check back soon, the second chapter should be up shortly!