Rationality
(Massive spoilers)
A.N.: I had to get this out of my head. Also, the main character's name is Hidetoshi Shinyu. Just don't rant about it please.
Disclaimer: Persona 4 © ATLUS.
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No matter how hard he tried to convince himself, there was a foreboding that his worst fears would come true. He took the liberty to took more walks, make more time to free his own mind, away from crowds, to try and calm himself down whenever he thought about it—which was every moment of his dreadful life then. Food did not help, and none from the platoon contacted him since; they knew he needed time out to sort things through.
Arriving his second home to find the residence empty was not helping, either. So was his goddamn cold.
Hidetoshi Shinyu took up a photo frame from the dining table, looking at the warm faces of his little cousin and dear uncle. There was nothing he could do now but to wait for news; hopefully good news. Passive Progressivism.
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"Nanako!" he cried out in shock, his eyes glued to the TV set showing the silhouette of his cousin. Powerless as he was then, the only thing he could do was to bang on the locked door, pleading for the officer to let him out. Doujima-san apparently presumed that he was involved with something that was related to the serial murders, and it was obvious since the beginning that the older man did not believe his stories about the world beyond the television sets.
His cellphone taken, the only thing he could do was to repeatedly reach out with an arm into the tiny electrical appliance, hoping to catch her, to grab her, to –clutch and grasp her-, the dearest little sister he had ever imagined to have.
The footage faded soon after, leaving Shinyu with nothing but the sound of rain battering relentlessly on the curtained windows.
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His eyes left the table, sitting at the bleak, tiny table in the living room and switched on the TV. Already the weather was getting colder by the hour… One could practically smell winter. The grey-haired teen resisted a sigh as he skimmed through the headlines on the screen. There was nothing he could do now but to wait. Passive Progressivism.
Taking up his set of spare house keys, he took his umbrella and left the ghost of a house locked behind him. When he reached the riverside, he was surprised to find someone sitting at the pier, eyes fixated on the flowing waters. The lady turned slowly to his direction, looking straight at him, as if she had expected his coming.
"… Amagi?"
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"Ugh, senpai, stop being so air-headed!" the twintailed ex-idol complained, folding her arms in front of the leader with much disapproval. "You can't just –rush- in there alone, geez! You've always been reasonable, so why not be just that right now?" she fumed. "I'm going," Shinyu said stubbornly, pushing her aside as he reached for the giant, ornamental entrance to Nanako's imagery of heaven. It took both Kanji and Hanamura to pull him back. "I'm afraid not, senpai, at least not without us," Shirogane said, before continuing. "Doing anything rash right now will not help Nanako-chan."
"Yeah, so tell us what's your killer party of choice, and we'll go kick the butt out of the balding old man!" Satonaka chirped in, voice filled with malice. Shinyu remembered that he took a breath to calm down just then, and proceeded to burn a path unceremoniously down the artificial heaven with the rest of the group.
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"I.. had a feeling that you would come here, Hidetoshi-kun," he heard Amagi started gently, as if choosing her words carefully before speaking to the silver-haired male before her. Not wanting to speak, Shinyu just shrugged and took a seat beside the raven-haired daughter of the Amagi Inn. Shadows of many sizes wavered and moved under the currents, as if to welcome the company of another at the quiet riverbanks. Silence lingered on until it was nearly unbearable, and Shinyu thought that maybe he should be the one who would start a conversation.
"So how's preparations for the incoming exams, Amagi? Good as usual?" Amagi looked quite taken aback at the nature of the question, not really expecting it from a lately moody freeloader of the Doujima residence. "Eh? Oh, yeah, I guess," she hastily replied, before shaking her head then looked earnestly at the man seated beside her. "You don't have to hide your worries, Hidetoshi-kun… We are friends, right?"
When there was no response, she continued freely. "You're a bit like Doujima-san this way. I guess it runs in your family, both the rashness and the bottling-up part." Grey eyes met with dark ones. "I'm not rash," Shinyu blurted out bluntly, almost immediately in response. His classmate burst out in laughter at that. Oh, right. There goes the signature laughter from Dark Queen Yukiko…
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He swore he could hear his teeth grinding as he saw Nanako in the hands of that filth. His own two fists repeatedly tightened and loosened as he threatened to lose control and wanted to just pounce on Namatame and set Nanako free—
"Senpai, he seems to be emotionally unstable. If we can get him to free Nanako-chan with just words, then it could be settled with little trouble. Remember, senpai, in all calmness. No sudden provoking moves!" Shirogane had warned.
Shinyu forgot the advice in the heat of the moment and shouted out loud, "Let Nanako go, you bastard!" "Sh- Just let me handle it, senpai!" Shirogane hissed in a low whisper.
Of course, words couldn't really get the uniformed man to free the seven year old girl, but it was enough to catch him entirely by surprise when Kanji and Hanamura rushed at Namatame. Shinyu was immediately by Nanako's side at the earliest opportunity available; and unleashed all of his vengeance on the self-proclaimed modern Messiah.
Nanako was immediately rushed to the hospital, and Shinyu didn't see any improvements on her condition since then, even a week after the freak incident.
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Shinyu waited patiently for Amagi's laughter to die down, before giving her a sincere and honest smile, the first since the incident. "Amagi, if you came out this late just to laugh at me, then I think you should head home now," he joked half-heartedly, fingers toying with the handle of his umbrella placed beside him. A soft breeze was blown at their way, giving Shinyu perhaps a new breath of life after a few days of dire mental chaos. "Well, you may be disappointed that I have another reason for coming here," the long-haired girl said, a hand raised to swat away stray hair from her face. She took the Junes-branded plastic bag beside her and shoved it to Shinyu. "Sushi deluxe, not my cooking," she said, albeit embarrassingly. "You haven't eaten dinner, I presume?"
He just nodded and started munching.
"I have to head home now, so do slowly enjoy your meal," Amagi said abruptly, standing up. His gaze followed the girl's beautiful face. "I.. think that Hidetoshi-kun needs to learn a few things about rationality," she said, facing away from the teenager still seated. "Look at things in an objective perspective at times, and you may realize that your emotions may shroud your judgement." Then she walked off.
Shinyu did not have a clue about why she suddenly gave a piece of advice like that.
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3rd December, 2010.
He still held the small hand tightly in his, tears still flowed freely from his eyes. Doujima-san came in a moment too late. The rest came in a moment too late.
Nanako was gone, and his promise to get her a new kotatsu went unfulfilled.
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The entire group was in Namatame's room, all eyes on the man who looked like he was about to run out of an exposed window. It was midnight. The Mayonaka TV that night pissed the hell out of all of them. When Hanamura and Shirogane suggested that they throw Namatame into the TV, it seemed all too plausible and sensible, as if it was the right thing to do.
The big-screened television was conveniently placed there.
Shinyu mentally agreed with Hanamura; he didn't intend on forgiving the man for his sins, either. "What do you intend to do, Hidetoshi?" Hanamura had asked their leader confidently.
But something from the depths of his mind rung at that moment….
"Look at things in an objective perspective at times, and you may realize that your emotions may shroud your judgement."
"Wait," was the only word Shinyu said, but it was as if that word alone suddenly shed light on what was entirely wrong with the whole incident. But the rest were still agitated; they were still blind. "Shit, just cut it out! I'm going to ask you one last freaking time!" Hanamura was practically shouting. "Are you gonna do it? Or are you NOT going to do it?! I'm ASKING you just WHAT are you intending to do!!" Something snapped in Shinyu's head just then, and he had his suspicions that it was his patience.
He shouted for the first time at them, resisting the urge to slap Hanamura right across the face. "JUST. FUCKING. CALM. DOWN!"
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"Hey Amagi."
"Yes?"
"Your advice really works."