Alice. I would kill Alice.

Of course, I would have to go through Jasper to do it.

I sighed heavily.

Impossible. Improbable.

Yet, how could she pack that?

The vision of Bella tore its way into my mind. Black lace stretched across her creamy skin barely covering things I didn't want to think about – had avoided thinking about or looking at directly for days, despite the procession of cream silks and satins. But tonight I couldn't help but look at her, all of her, look at the sheer black lace sliding across her breasts, slithering down her slender hips, caressing her soft, supple curves…

Oh, God. Stop.

I suppressed the urge to moan aloud. There was a burning inside me that went deeper than thirst, more primal than bloodlust and it thudded hard against my consciousness like a pulse minute by minute, each day we were here on this island. Especially at moments like this – moments when she was this close, moments when it was this quiet.

Bella was pressed against me, feeling hotter and hotter as the tedium of the agonizing night wore on. I could feel the nightgown – if you could call this instrument of torture a nightgown – and her scorching skin pressed against me. My flesh ached in wretched torment where she did touch me and the rest of me ached in wretched torment to be touched by her. To touch her. To press my lips to hers, to trace the hollow of her throat, the soft curve of her breasts…

Damnit! And she wanted to stay human! And how many more of these alluring outfits would Alice provide her with while she stayed human? A million? Each one more agonizing than the last? Until what? I simply combusted openly into flames?

I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn't sense her waking up until I heard her gasp loudly in the dark.

"Bella?" All the wretched heat inside me stilled instantly. I was numb. My voice was hollow. "Are you all right sweetheart?"

She was silent. I was scared. She was sleeping too much and too soundly lately and having mysterious nightmares. Could she be sick? She was so fragile, so delicate. Holding on to her was like trying to trap an elusive mist. I had to be so careful.

But instead, here I was the ravenous animal trying not to devour her in one way or another.

"Oh," she gasped. I could suddenly feel hot streams of tears trickling across my bare chest.

"Bella!" I was frantic. "What's wrong?" I brushed at her wet cheeks hoping to stop the flood. Each sob was like a cold, blade knifing into my chest.

"It was only a dream." I relaxed a little. Another nightmare. She wasn't hurt.

"It's okay, love, you're fine. I'm here." I rocked her furiously hoping to ease the memory of whatever her subconscious had produced to make her this upset. I couldn't stand to think of one moment of her in pain. To know she was hurting, to feel her crying was like ripping off one of my own limbs. "Did you have another nightmare? It wasn't real, it wasn't real."

"Not a nightmare."

I stopped rocking. What?

"It was a good dream." Her voice broke. She was obviously upset. What a time to not be able to crawl inside her thoughts – another frustration thrown on a crackling bonfire of frustrations.

A good dream? Now I was truly lost.

I suppressed the urge to check her temperature with the back of my hand. Maybe she was sick. "Then why are you crying?"

"Because I woke up," she wailed, wrapping her arms around my neck tightly and sobbing into my throat. The sound of her uneven tear-filled breaths echoed inside me like they were my own. I would cry with her, cry in her place, if only I could. Yet part of me couldn't help but laugh a little at her logic.

"Everything's all right, Bella. Take deep breaths."

"It was so real," she cried. "I wanted it to be real."

Huh?

I tried again to ignore the feeling of lace providing absolutely no kind of useful barrier between us. Heat continued to radiate off of her in all directions. Her fragrant hair brushed against my face. My hands ached to wind themselves in the soft tendrils.

Concentrate!

"Tell me about it. Maybe that will help." Help me figure this out at least. Help me concentrate on something other than your skin, your scent, the way you would look in the moonlight if I ripped this thing off of you …

"We were on the beach …" She stopped suddenly pulling back to gaze up at me. A tight knot yanked itself tightly closed in my stomach at the sight of her overflowing, brown eyes. I felt her breath on my face, felt the pressure of her body against me. My head was swimming with possibilities and dangerous thoughts.

"And?" Give me something else to work with here. Anything.

"Oh Edward …" More tears poured from her long dark lashes. I could see fresh tracks down her cheeks, smell the salt mingled with her own heady, sweet scent. She had more freckles from extended time in the sun and her skin had taken on a slightly more golden hue. It all added to her sweetness, making me raw all over.

"Tell me Bella."

I was two steps away from complete panic. My mind raced. Was I going to have to get us to the main land? To a hospital?

Then her lips crushed themselves against mine and I kissed her back without thinking. Just feeling. Fresh longing raced back to the surface burying the worry almost completely.

Oh God.

I pushed back gently holding her shoulders.

"No, Bella." The words hissed out of me. But every fiber, every bone, muscle, sinew was crying yes.

This was crazy she was upset but yet not upset. My thoughts were uneven, tilting. After all this time I could usually rely on my instincts to discern what Bella was thinking but now I was lost and so wanting to be more lost, tangled up with her.

If only this wasn't so hard for us. If only I could give in and be what she needed. I stared up at her. Did she know how sorry I was? Did she know how achingly hard this was for me too?

"I'm s-s-s-orry," she mumbled. Defeated. Somewhere my heart snapped in two.

I pulled her to my chest, determined to fix this somehow.

It will be OK. This will pass. This will pass.

"I can't, Bella, I can't!" It was more of a guttural moan than speech. She must be able to hear how difficult it was for me to hold back. It was taking everything I had, more than I thought I had.

Just keep her safe.

"Please," her words ripped at me. Her lips mouthed against my chest. "Please, Edward?"

At the sound of her final pleading and the sound of my name the last cord of my defenses snapped. She was Bella and I was hers. I couldn't deny her. I couldn't help but try to be what she needed.

I pulled her mouth to mine and her body followed. She slid across me, her hands on either side of my face, her legs sliding to either side of mine.

I wound my fingers into her hair kissing her hungrily, breathing her in like she was oxygen, vital to my existence. The sweetness charred my throat and lungs but I only breathed it in again and let it scorch me. My hands traveled across her back, purposely ripping lace as I went all the while discovering searing warm, yielding flesh. So pure and perfect.

Bella's mouth roamed my face and neck leaving trails of blistering hot kisses that made me ache deep with in the pit of my stomach and burn even deeper below. I felt her heart thundering against me, heard her breathing quicken. She moaned against my mouth as she kissed me again and again.

My hands ripped the rest of her garment from her and I tossed it away recklessly. It was now in strips at the end of the bed.

Take that.

Bella, seemingly noticing nothing, was consumed with kissing and licking my neck, my ear, the length of my jaw. I touched her everywhere, exploring her shape with my fingers and palms, enjoying the feel of her smooth curves as she kissed me. Intermittent waves of chills and heat bombarded me and I shuddered against her form and she pressed herself harder to me.

All that lay between us now were my shorts. I had made a conscious effort not to go to bed with Bella naked. Shirtless, yes, I could argue that was practical as I was doubling as an air cooling unit in the evenings. But in all other ways I had desperately attempted to maintain some shred of decorum. Decorum I had now just lost by inches and kisses.

Now this frustrating bit of fabric kept us separate as our bodies slid against each other eager to be fully reunited. Much more swiftly than I could register with my drunk senses, Bella's hands were at my hips tugging at my waistband pulling the material off of me. I was too stunned to help, caught up in the momentary thrill of having someone else in control of the moment – particularly Bella.

She maneuvered them off of me while kissing gingerly down my chest. As she reached my stomach my insides clenched violently and my hips involuntarily thrust against her. Unused to be so out of control, I pulled her to me by her shoulders. I was unable to keep from kissing her mouth harder than I meant to. I could still taste tears on her lips and delicate face. I hoped she wouldn't bruise.

She slid against me again and this time there was nothing to come between us. We were suddenly one. The sensation was much more searing than I remembered from last time, perhaps the shock of having it happen without preparation. It was not unpleasant just intense and so warm and wet.

I opened my eyes to see her face above me. Her hair dark and wild framing her cheeks. Her eyes were bright, shining from tears and joy looking directly back at me with quiet awe. She was beautiful, shimmering, angelically golden in this light. She was in that moment perhaps the most magnificent I had ever seen her, the most magnificent thing I had ever seen. I felt aching love and desire seeping from every pore, every ounce of myself toward her. I wanted to wrap it around her and never let her go.

What had I done to deserve this moment? What had I done to deserve her?

I would have frozen time, then, if I was able. But not Bella. Her eyes closed, her head arched backwards and she bit her bottom lip stifling a moan as she slid against me. Our bodies were both slick – more Bella's than mine – and I was only damp from association, of course. My skin was warmer in places that she touched me than I had ever thought possible. The heat was delightful. Thrilling.

Her hips moved against me faster and faster and she began to drive me into her deeper than I expected. There was a glorious ache from this that made me cry out but I managed to resist thrusting against her. Instead I reached behind me with one hand and grabbed the headboard. Only distantly did I hear a slight cracking sound of wood.

Sorry Esme.

Bella was getting more carried away and so was the situation. I had to regain some semblance of control if we were going to get through this without hurting her. Gently but firmly I placed a hand on her hips to still her. She stiffened and looked down at me momentarily confused, hurt. But I pulled her lips to mine in attempt to convince her that she had done nothing wrong.

Quite the opposite.

I kissed her deeply and she relaxed against me. I could feel her breathing heavily, her heart fluttering as I gently turned and placed her beneath me.

I cradled her head into a pillow, slid my lips across her cheeks and neck, ran my fingers through her dark hair and all the while we stayed joined but not moving. Her hands slid across my back. Her thighs tightened around my hips. Her knees bent. She hooked her calves around my thighs. The position allowed me more control. Maybe this could work if I was incredibly careful. At least I hoped it could.

Both of her hands pressed on my buttocks in an attempt to pull me forward as her hips instinctively thrust against me. I responded obligingly and heard her moan softly. I pushed against her keeping the pace steady allowing her to feel everything she needed to without damage or pain. Happily, pain was the one thing she didn't seem to be experiencing at all.

I placed one hand on the cracked headboard, flexing each wave of sensation Bella gave me into the wood. I heard it crack apart more. My other hand was lightly beside her on the bed, propping me up so my full weight was not on her. I would not be grabbing her arms this time. I would not be leaving marks.

I held back as much as I could but continued to move against Bella, her thrusting hips echoed my own. I allowed myself to press against her harder, deeper. I felt her breath catch. She said my name as she clawed into my back, never coming close to breaking the skin. She held on to my shoulders, her thighs squeezing against my hips.

I quickened my movements for her, giving us both more to feel. Throbbing aches tore through me and across my limbs. I pushed into her harder and felt her suddenly spasm against me. Shuddering, her hair plastered to her face, she cried out and arched her back, her head pushing into the pillow. I felt everything from outside and inside of her. Within, she gripped me tightly, pulsing. Without, she bit into my shoulder. She whimpered in a good way. A very good, desirable way.

I heard myself cry out then, gasping in air as if I needed it. A wave of intense pleasure crested over me. I exploded within her a much more exquisite sensation than the last time. I floated for a moment in the exhilarating sharpness of it and shivered against her, feeling raw, sensitive, drained and spent. I traveled over the edge of it only to be hit again with the intensity.

I collapsed a little on my arm, feeling dizzy, my breaths coming in gasps. I was still inside her and tangled with her, not quite ready to be apart from her. Bella slumped a little into the bed relaxing her grip on me in every sense. Her breathing was uneven but her face was glowing brightly as I kissed her lightly. She responded lazily, slowly. Her eyelids closed heavily.

I smoothed the hair off her face. A faint smile crossed her face at the touch of my hand. I pulled off an out of her then, feeling a wrenching sense of loss at being away from her, outside of her. Her brow furrowed as I did this, a disappointed moan escaping her lips. I smiled, from desire, love and the intense satisfaction of wanting and being wanted. As I dusted the pulverized wood of Esme's tortured headboard from my hand, I marveled at how Bella was perfectly unharmed. There was not a scratch or a mark that I could see on her still glistening skin. I was elated and relieved. The feeling was equally as pleasurable as anything I just experienced.

I pulled her to me. She flopped against me, mostly asleep already. Her face looked so peacefully serene. I smoothed her hair feeling her sink into me. I shivered a little at her touch. But I was no longer feeling tortured by her presence. I just felt very human, very alive.

"I love you," I said in the dark.

"Mmph." Even though I was convinced she was deeply unconscious, I felt Bella's arm tighten around me.

I smiled, lying still as she relaxed into deeper sleep. I played back earlier moments as she slept, remembering the sight and feel of her. I could smell all of it in the air, the broken wood, the tears, the sweat, the love, Bella. For the first time in a long time, I felt really and truly lucky.