The Cullens were sitting in their living room, minus Carlisle, who was at the hospital, and Esme, who was away visiting the Denali Coven. Renesmee was curled up in Rosalie's arms, sound asleep. Alice was watching "What Not To Wear" with a look of extreme horror. The rest of them were enjoying watching her reaction.

"No, oh, no, no, no! Don't dress her like that, Skunk Hair! No. No! The tan doesn't match her honey blonde highlights. No, Carmody, no! That foundation is excessive-" She looked at the rest of them, all smiling at her. "Sorry…" She leaned back into Jaspers arms, brows furrowed, with a small pout on her mouth.

"Momma… Daddy…" Renesmee moaned in her sleep. Rosalie stroked her hair.

"Yeah, where are Bella and Edward, anyway?" Alice asked.

"You know." Emmett told her, wiggling his eyebrows.

Rosalie sighed, disgusted. "Still?" I can't believe them! They were back there at ten last night, and it's nearly twelve hours later! They have a child to take care of!"

"Then we need to teach them a lesson." A huge smile spread across Emmett's face.

"Bella… Bella…" Edward said. "Love, we need to go check in with the family. We've been here nearly thirteen hours."

"Just a little bit longer…" she moaned.

"Renesmee…"

At her husband's reminder, she remembered her daughter, whom she loved more than anything. "Okay… let's go." She got up and went to the closet. "Um… Edward, what did you do with all of our clothes?"

"What?" he asked. He went over to the closet. Sure enough, all of their clothes were gone.

"Maybe Alice took them all to replace our wardrobe." Bella went over to the phone and dialled up the house.

"Heeey," Emmett said when he answered the phone. "You're on speaker."

"Hi!" Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper all chorused.

"Hello. Did you guys take our clothes for some reason?" Edward asked.

"Yes." Alice answered.

"Well… could you bring us each a pair?"

"No." Emmett responded.

"Why not…?" Bella asked, with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"Because we wanted to teach you a lesson," they were surprised to hear Rosalie say.

Edward and Bella began yelling as their siblings turned down the volume, sitting back and enjoying their annoyance. Finally, they stopped, and there was a beep.

"They've hung up on us…" Emmett laughed.

A few minutes later, Jacob walked through the front door.

"Jacob!" Alice and Emmett chorused. Rosalie scowled at him.

"Hey guys! Madonna," he nodded at Rosalie.

"Don't you have anywhere else to be?" Rosalie's scowl deepened. She pulled Renesmee closer to her chest.

"Oh, yeah," he said, sitting down in armchair near her, "I was driving by Hooters and I thought of you."

Emmett, Alice, and Jasper held in their laughter. A snort escaped from Emmett, and Rosalie lifted her foot up and kicked him hard in the side.

"Jacob." Edward's voice came over the phone.

"They did not hang up yet," Jasper noted.

"no, we pushed a number on the phone so it sounded like we did. Now Jacob, um… we need your help. See… um…"

"We took all of their clothes while they were… otherwise occupied." Emmett grinned.

"Ah, brilliant." Jacob's grin reflected Emmett's.

"Yeah… so will you be the only one good person there and bring us some clothes?" Edward asked.

"Sure, sure," Jacob said. He motioned for Rosalie to hang up the phone. "You guys are amateurs." His grin widened.

There was a knock at the cabin door. Edward stuck his head out the door to see Jacob standing there.

A smile broke out across Jacob's face. He handed Edward a bag.

"Shut it. And thanks."

"Yep." Jacob turned and ran back toward the house.

Edward realized that the whole time, Jacob had been trying to mask more humour than at the situation. The phone rang from the other room. As he walked into the room, Bella answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello, Mr and Mrs. Cullen," said Alice in a low voice. "My assistant has delivered the package, as I understand."

"Yes…" Edward didn't like where this was going. He opened the bag. Inside was a pair of panties and some rocks. "What?"

From the phone they heard laughter. Emmett's voice came on the line. "We put some rocks on the bottom so it would feel like there were clothes in it."

"Yeah… clever," Bella gritted through her teeth. "But I'm not running through the woods, let alone in front of you lot, topless."

"We know."

Realization dawned on Edward. "No."

Alice giggled. "Oh, yes. And tell you what. We will hand you clothes if you do."

"I really hate you," Edward growled.

"And we love you, Eddie Cakes!" Emmett said, and the line went dead.

There was a knock on the sliding glass door out back. Edward stood there in lacy red women's underwear. When everyone was in the kitchen, they all got out their phones and digital cameras and began snapping pictures of him.

"Stop, stop, stop it!" Edward yelled, covering himself up.

"Get into one of Bella's drawers?" Jacob asked.

"Dude, those are for ladies," Emmett added.

"Just give me the damn clothes!"

Rosalie held out a bag, and he snatched it away, running back to the cabin.

They all got out their cameras and took pictures of his retreating back.