The Akatsuki have decided to make a list to stop their newest member from being killed on day one...

Rules for Tobi

1) You will not feed pieces of Hidan to Zetsu.

2) You will not spray Zetsu with weed killer…no, not even if Deidara tells you too.

3) You will not repeatedly ask Deidara about 'his' gender.

4) You will not touch any of the sugar, caffeine or crack (Kakuzu's) in the base.

5) You will not be insanely cheerful in the mornings, before everybody has had their vital cup of coffee.

6) You will not hide all the beauty products in the hideout then act innocent when half the Akatsuki go insane after a couple of hours.

7) You will not mention any religious festivals such as Christmas, Hanukkah or Eid in Hidan's presence. We know you are probably stupid enough to forget this and we would also like to inform you we will not be paying for your funeral.

8) Likewise, you will not interfere with Hidan's rituals, not even if you hear screaming.

9) You will not consume fish sticks within a 15 mile radius of the hideout.

10) You will not attempt to move, steal or in any way touch Konan's flower.

11) You will not let Kisame pay you to sneak pink dye into Deidara's conditioner.

12) You will not replace Hidan's gore fest movies with Barney reruns.

13) You will not sing the Barney theme song while around Itachi (I love you, you love me, we're a happy family!).

14) You will not go in Zetsu's room. We're not sure what's in there, but the last guy who went in never came out. There were chomping noises.

15) You will not say 'Bite me' to Deidara unless you really, really mean it.

16) You will not let Kakuzu into anybodies room so he can sell their stuff on eBay.

17) You will not convince white-Zetsu to insult black-Zetsu, therefore causing a schizoid-esque argument.

18) You will not mock Sasori's Barbie doll collection. We are sure they are vital to the manufacturing of puppets.

19) You will not share any views about 'art'.

20) You will not put manure in Zetsu's shoes.

Hey all! :)

It would really help me if you would submit a review with your favourites so I can make chapter 2 even better! :)