HIGH-LIGHT PROLOGUE: INTRO AND NOTES

Note: Yes, I am an anti-twilighter. I think the plot is nonexistant. The characters shallow and irritating. And the author posessing the mental age of a preteen. THIS IS MY OPINION, IN THIS COUNTRY WE HAVE THIS REALLY COOL THING CALLED FREEDOM OF SPEECH and so if you decide you want to flame me because of my views then I will simply ignore you and write it anyway. Okay? (Besides, this story is meant for humor purposes only so just keep your shorts on Twilighters and have fun with it! :)

This anti-fiction is dedicated to my buds at

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heather349, allhaillarry, itchinhi, gillianmc, furubafan3, telescopeannie, freakishbbq, zomgtwilightsux, Duck, blkeydfu8er, chibiattackohnoes, trogdorkilla, nowhereman, sakurai, drmadwoman, bbqtaco, serafita, conundrum, hellaloser, citharia, foxymardy, xsprayx, hottbaguettesftw, rika, ninjaumbreon, lillian0015, sockpuppetz, becket, camarotuner, roihu, deviousmouse, siriuslysirius11, nemy, harrypotternerd777, iscaria, akari, diehardchick7, suresure, savagedamsel10, edenmiranda, JoJoContemplates, wildatheart CHARACTERS:

SMELLA YAWN: The main character of our wonderful tale. Picture Stephenie Meyer and imagine her as being seventeen but having no personality and you've got Smella! She is very materialistic, whiny, and loves her boyfriend Deadward. She also attracts the entire male population of Porks despite the fact that she shuns them all for being ugly.

DEADWARD MULLET: The love interest of dear Smella. He loves to stalk Smella and smell her used tissues, he is also the hottest man in the entire universe. Yes that's right, hotter than any of the other hot people in the world combined! He has the Shampire ability to read minds, except for Smella because due to her strange specialness she is able to survive without a brain.

MALICE MULLET: The materialistic younger foster sister of Deadward. She is known as the token anorexic midget of Porks. Whenever she moves she dances. She has the Shampire ability to see the future even though things always turn out differently than she sees them.

CASPER SNAIL: The silent yet deadly secretly-gay husband of Malice. He is the only member of the Mullet family (besides Posalie) to realize how whiny and stupid Smella is, and so he makes it his life goal to break Smella and Deadward apart.

POSALIE SNAIL: The female equivilent of Deadward. She has the Shampire ability to instantly give males an erection due to her hotness. She hates Smella because even though Smella is just as stupid and shallow as she is people love her anyway.

FARTLISE MULLET: The only shampire in the Mullet and Snail family that actually helps people, rather then sitting in a highschool for all eternity. He has the shampire ability to be...Super caring or something lame like though he is super pale and hot like all shampires no-one in the town of Porks is able to realize his full weirdness.

BLESSME SNAIL: A background character who is married to Fartlisle and has the Shampire ability to be a super-housewife. She is Stephenie Meyer's idea of a perfect woman, even going so far as to jump off a cliff when she cannot have a baby as an average human.

BLEMMISH MULLET: The stupid and muscular Shampire husband of Posalie. He is barely in the story because it is told from Smella's point of view and she only focuses on Deadward.

PEDOWOLF SMACK: The young friend of Smella who is a Killet indian and is secretly a Shamwolf. He is in love with Smella due to the fact that her super-specialness attracts all of the male characters of Porks.

FLAMES, FLICKTORIA, & BORENT: Three real vampires that are actually badass and kill humans, they are considered enemies in this story because they do not like Smella. (If you don't like Smella you are automatically labled a villain in this story.)

KARLY YAWN: Smella's father who is secretly dating Willy Smack (Pedowolf's father) and claims that he is out 'fishing.' He hates Smella and also hates her mother Monee due to the fact that they are both whiny, materialistic, and obsessed with men. He is the main police officer of Porks and his best friend is his mustache.

THE HUMANS: Students at Porks High School that are all instantly attracted to Smella for no reason, although she shuns them instantly for being ugly and distracting her from focusing on Deadward's hotness.

SETTING: Porks, Washington. A small town famous for its pork. According to Google it is the 34th rainiest town in the U.S.

TERMS: Shampire: Stephenie Meyer's version of a vampire. They are sparkly, super hot, and are only able to be killed by other Shampires.

Shamwolf: Stephenie Meyer's version of a werewolf. They were created in Meyer's world when she took her three children to see the horror film Underworld. They do not appear until Shoe Racoon (The sequel to High-Light)

SO, I WILL BEGIN THIS COMEDY FICTION SOON! (INSERT CLICHE INVITATION HERE)