If Cathy thought that she loved Jacob, she now knew she had been wrong. A month after they stood before his parents, receiving their blessing for an October wedding, she lay beside her fiancé wondering what happened.

She was convinced that Jacob was the one and only man for her. They had a childhood bond, and even though she was slightly older, the circumstances of his life in recent months, had matured him very quickly.

Now Cathy was overwhelmed with feelings she didn't know existed. Her love had seemed to be an intellectual one. They were together for all the right reasons but her very soul spoke to her about the depth of feelings unleashed with each passing day.

Cathy's early life prevented her from opening herself fully. Fear of being hurt were great deterrents to intimacy. Jacob was different. He opened her true heart. Since they moved in together, awaiting their marriage in a few months, she had been beset with desires and emotions beyond anything she had ever experienced. This was indeed love!

'What are you thinking about Cathy? I feel such waves of warmth from you.'

'My favourite topic of conversation is you. You warm my heart.'

Jacob's hand idly traced circles on her skin. His touch was light. 'Are you happy?'

'More than I would have thought possible,' she whispered, giving voice to her feelings.

'Have I had anything to do with that?'

'You know you have.'

'Tell me how much,' he teased.

'Oh you know. When you do things like what you are doing now you drive me crazy.'

Jacob's lips found a warm soft spot in her neck.

'Jacob please stop….mmmm…...no don't stop!'

Cathy abandoned her thoughts and gave herself up to the moment. Later, she and Jacob would share their feelings in those tender 'after the loving' moments. For now it was enough that she could let herself be free of a troubled past. She wanted no further barriers to stand between her and the love of a lifetime. After all, Jacob had the greatest role models. She had none. She was learning as she went along. It was a delicious ride. She felt the waves of desire and love meld into one. All other thought faded.

Catherine sat holding her little foster-daughter against her body,. She gently pat her back hoping for the burp that would signify a settled sleep. Mea's head rested on her shoulder, a satisfied look giving evidence of the full belly. Vincent observed this little tableau with a loving smile.

It had been an uphill battle to win custody of Mea and Cilla, but the joy of parenting together with his wife took on new dimensions. He had raised Jacob, in the atmosphere of the tunnels, with help from everyone. Now he was taking a more above world approach to parenting. He and Catherine would be alone for the most part. These were small children, very needy with health problems early in their life. A drug addicted mother and father was enough of a challenge. Starvation, poor living conditions, and any number of other problems added up to two very delicate souls.

The agency and social services had been very hard on Vincent and Catherine. They were too old to raise small children. Although much of Catherine's history was left out, it was clear she had a long convalescence from a mysterious illness. It had only been the support of Jacob and Cathy which allowed the girls to remain in the Brownstone. So far, everything seemed to be going well.

Sue turned out to be a marvelous help. Catherine's attachment to her grew more and more each day. Sue was the most versatile person. She embraced the idea of caring for the children with some trepidation at first, but threw herself into it with her usual standards of care. Catherine owed her remarkable recovery to Terry but without Sue caring for her body over the years, she might have recovered from the coma, only to find her skin, muscles and joints useless. Catherine was aware of Sue's incredible strength of purpose once she made up her mind.

All five adults in the house were to participate in the care of the children. The girls would spend some time below but Vincent and Catherine, their son Jacob and his fiancée Cathy and Sue would all be parents to Cilla and Mea.

As Catherine turned shining eyes up to look up at her husband, she marveled at the tiny body in her arms. She thought of Jacob and knew it might have been like this if…

'Do you sometimes wonder what our lives would have been like Vincent?' she asked tentatively.

'If…if you did live and you were strong and healthy?'

'Yes, in a way.' Catherine nodded, knowing that the word 'live' had a different meaning to them.

'I couldn't allow myself to think.' Vincent responded thoughtfully. 'When I did, my heart would break. I couldn't function. The dream was lost and I needed to give so much to Jacob. If I did yearn for you, I tried to imagine you in a better place, surrounded by love.'

'Did you feel better then?'

'I did. And now, I know it wasn't like that for you at all, and sometimes I feel sad again.'

'Vincent, we will always have some sadness to temper our lives but I feel this baby in my arms. I know she is not Jacob and yet she gives substance to my lost emotions.'

Vincent rose from the bed and reached out to take the sleeping child from his wife. Mea's little cradle was beside the bed. He placed her on her back as he had been taught and covered her little body with a warming blanket. A soft kiss brushed her forehead. He listened for her even breathing for a moment before whispering 'I love you'.

Vincent turned loving eyes to his wife. She had sacrificed so much. Having an opportunity to raise these children gave her purpose and energy. He reached out his hand to help her up from the rocking chair. Catherine went into his arms without a second thought. Like Mea, she sighed happily. Love was an incredible force. It softened the hard edges of life while bringing unity and joy to those who were touched by its incredible force. As she raised her face for a gentle kiss, from the man whose courage inspired her own, Catherine knew she would sacrifice so much more to keep the pleasure of these intimate moments.

Cathy rose early. Jacob was sleeping soundly. She had no wish to wake him. His dreams were often powerful enough to make him restless in the nights. If they were full of turmoil, he would get up allowing her to sleep undisturbed. Now it was his turn to rest. Cathy also enjoyed this quiet time. She had lived alone for so long. It would still take awhile to feel totally comfortable with the idea of togetherness all the time.

The kitchen was spotless. Jacob was as careless as she was neat. They agreed on a compromise. The kitchen domain would be hers and he could do whatever he liked in his study. Strangely, he kept it as neat as his desk at the office.

It was a beautiful spring Saturday. She knew that Jacob wanted to go uptown, to Pater's chambers. The draw and the need to understand his paternal/biological grandfather was always present in him. Cathy knew that Jacob hoped to create something out of the ashes of the chambers but ideas came and went like puffs of wind.

The kettle was boiling when Cathy heard a soft sound behind her. She turned around to find Cilla standing at the doorway, her finger stuck in her mouth. Her short wispy hair was flying all over with static. To Cathy she seemed fey, almost like she had been touched with fairy dust. Cathy didn't know where the metaphor came from but it fit.

It wasn't the first time Cilla visited. She was well fed and taken care of beautifully by her foster parents and of course Sue, but little Cilla seemed to have an affinity for Cathy. When her little legs became stronger and she discovered the treasure of another family upstairs, she occasionally made her way up to visit.

'Ca. Pick up?'

Cathy lifted the frail child in her arms and hugged her tight.

'Did you eat?'

'No.'

Cathy could smell the food cooking and knew that Sue was up. She wouldn't feed Cilla but gave her a little juice instead. They sat at the kitchen table, Cilla in her lap, chattering about nothing and everything. Cathy was fascinated by Cilla's toes. The shape was so unusual. What struck, was a vague similarity to her own toes. Cathy had learned a lot about the genetic transmission of certain characteristics through centuries, traits inherited and passed on. Jacob's dreams and astral travel gave her new insight into other worlds. As she sat rocking the little body, she remembered something her mother had said.

'You have a rare blood type Catherine. It is like mine. Be very careful if you want to have children.'

Cathy had never pursued what that meant. After all there was no one special in her life. Now there was not only some special but the real possibility of having a family. She would have to broach the subject with Jacob. She was pretty sure that he would want to have a child someday. His own DNA was different because of Vincent. What would happen when their bloodlines were joined together in the creation of a child?

Cilla must have felt her inner turmoil. She raised her face to look at Cathy, a question in her eyes. A little hand touched her cheek.

'It's fine Cilla. Don't worry baby girl. I love you. '

The little head returned to Cathy's shoulder, listening to the heart beat. Cathy's soft voice hummed a song, long since forgotten.

Only the sound of Sue's call broke the spell. Cilla jumped down and gave Cathy a short hug before making her way downstairs to a warm and wholesome breakfast.

The kettle had long since boiled and shut off. Cathy turned it back on to make her tea. With a cup finally brewing, its warmth nicely nestled in her hands, she sat in her favourite corner of the couch allowing the liquid to soothe her. As its flavour spread throughout her body, she leaned back and closed her eyes. Memories of her night with Jacob filled her. Her breathing accelerated then slowed. Once again images scattered across her mind. Everything seemed green. Her recent memory of Lena came back to her. She could hear her mother's voice leading and guiding her.

'KC, come with me.'

'Where Mommy?'

'Just come.'

Cathy felt herself drawn. Fear took hold and she resisted the green fields which beckoned.

Unknown to Cathy, Jacob who was searching for his wife, found her struggling with the twilight time between worlds. He left her undisturbed. Waking her would have been a violation of her personal space. He had learned to respect the process, just as she had done with him.

Cathy woke with a start. She couldn't imagine why her mother seemed so close to her.

The balance of her tea was cold. All she could think of was the colour green. She had no idea why but she planned to discuss it with Jacob.

'How about some of these plums?'

'Sure…why not?'

'I think we have enough here for days,' Jacob laughed pretending to be weighed down by the shopping basket.

Cathy and Jacob paid for their purchases, stashed them in their backpacks, then made their way to the uptown subway. The entrance to Pater's chambers was much more accessible from another part of town. Jacob had only traversed the underground route once. It took days. He held Cathy's hand lightly, secure in the knowledge of their growing relationship. He too felt a change, a deepening of their commitment to each other.

Jacob did not push Cathy to reveal what she had seen this morning. He already knew everything there was to know about her. The tales of her ancestors were there, available, when she was ready. His gift of insight was not to be abused or taken lightly. He understood that information had to be processed when the person was ready. He would wait for Cathy to be ready. Just the same, he sensed her need to talk about what happened this morning.

'Cilla came up for a visit.'

'I think she finds something familiar in you Cathy.'

'Did you know that we have similar toes?'

'Yes I did notice. It reminds me that we are all together for a reason. Souls on a common path…'

There was a long pause. Cathy said little until they were seated on the subway train.

'Sometimes I am not sure what you mean Jacob.'

'When we die, energy survives, you know, the energy which keeps us alive. I believe that this energy goes on to another body. It would explain familial traits and the need to connect with certain people.'

Cathy nodded only half understanding what Jacob was trying to convey.

'I have thought about my mother a lot today. I remembered a couple of things she told me. Then I thought I heard her voice calling. Is that weird?'

'She's close by you today in spirit. Is there something special about today?'

'Hmmm…of course…it is the anniversary of her birthday! The memory that came to me was a warning she gave me long ago about having children. It all fits, even Cilla's visit.'

'What did you remember Cathy?'

'Something about my blood. We can talk about that later Jacob but I heard her calling me KC, short for KittyCat. It was also a reminder that she never knew if your mother spelled her name with a K or a C so …' Cathy shrugged, allowing Jacob to fill in the blanks.

'I like it when you share these stories. It makes me feel like I knew her, just like she knew me.'

'Do you really Jacob. I have wanted to hide these things. I suppose there is still some shame in me for the life she lived.'

Jacob turned in his seat to look into Cathy's eyes as he spoke. 'If I could have one wish for you, it would be to remove that stigma. You are not your mother and you have not lived her life. She did her best Cathy and because she did, you are here now, intelligent, beautiful, and kind. She would be proud of you.'

Tears filled her eyes. 'Is that the message my mother wanted me to have today?'

'Maybe,' he shrugged. 'I know it is the message I want you to have.'

Jacob wrapped his arms around his tearful fiancée. Silence fell between them for the rest of the journey but it held no rancour. Cathy could allow herself grieve. It was really what these moments meant; opportunities to make peace with the past.