Disclaimer: I don't own the WWE
A/N: I suck. But here's a new chapter :)
So In Love That You Act Insane
Chapter 7: Bridges Burned
Maryse had me a little overwhelmed all through our breakfast in the hotel restaurant, babbling a mile a minute like we were the best of friends. Of course, I didn't really mind it that much; it was nice to have someone who didn't make me feel awkward besides John. Normally, my co-workers, no matter how close we'd been in the past, made me feel like they took extreme pity on me, or that they had just been whispering about me. I knew it was all in my head, I wasn't on everyone's mind all the time, but it still made me feel weird.
Halfway through the meal, my body stiffened at the feeling of being watched. All I had to do was look over Maryse's shoulder in order to find those penetrating green eyes that I couldn't seem to escape, that new splash of crazy in Jeff's irises ever-present. He looked like hell, obviously suffering from a massive hangover. That didn't seem to interfere with his new joy of making me feel uncomfortable though as he shamelessly stared in my direction.
Maryse suddenly seemed to sense my discomfort and followed my eyes, very noticeably turning to look over her shoulder and follow my line of vision. Turning back, she rolled her eyes with a scoff.
"You know, I am so proud of you for not going back to him. Don't you hate it when guys break it off then they so obviously want you back? What is wrong with men?" And thus ensued another thick accented rambling.
But I frowned. Maryse jumped to some pretty hasty conclusions there. Why would Jeff want me back? He could have easily had me, before John anyway. If that were the case, why wouldn't he just make an effort? That thing in the elevator didn't count; he was drunk. I don't think Jeff wants me back. I think he's just completely lost his mind, and now takes pleasure in tormenting me. Of course, he might also be jealous, because I spend so much time with John. But does he genuinely want me back? No. It's clearly just one of those male pride things.
I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't notice him until his shadow was looming over me and Maryse's eyes gave him a suspicious look.
Not, him him.
"We need to talk," Matt said, placing two fists on the edge of our table and leaning over to make eye contact with me. Biting my lip nervously, I shifted my eyes away from Matt's. Since when couldn't I look my best friend in the eye?
But who am I kidding? We all knew this would happen if Jeff and I ever split. How could we go on with our BFF relationship with Jeff acting the way he does? And as much as I hate to think it, blood is thicker than water. Matt couldn't abandon Jeff.
Unfortunately, I think it's time to burn these bridges.
"Matt… I don't…" I took a deep breath for courage to actually let the words flow from my mouth. "I don't think we can be friends anymore." My eyes met his shocked brown ones and he stood up straight then, stepped back.
"The fuck are you talkin' about?" Matt couldn't believe I just said that; hell, I couldn't believe I just said that. Matt's the best friend I've ever had. He's been there for me, always. And here I am, shoving him to the side, just so I don't have to see Jeff or hear about him any more than I already have to by working in the same company?
"I just… you don't know how hard this is…" I tried to explain. He couldn't understand how I felt right now though. No amount of words could even describe how badly I wish I could erase Jeff's existence from my knowledge, and unfortunately, when I think of Matt, I can't help but be reminded of Jeff. Most people say thay don't really look alike, but I can see Jeff in his brother's face, and that's still causing me jolts of pain I really just don't want to feel anymore.
I didn't realize at the time how dangerous those words were, and how much they offended Matt.
"Really? I don't understand? That's funny, cause I'm pretty sure one of my best friends had an affair with the only woman I've ever been in love with. It might not be the same situation, but I think I have a little bit of insight on this whole thing, and if I could just have a fuckin' conversation with you for once—"
That was when Maryse laughed bitterly and shook her head. "What is wrong with you men? Don't you get it? She doesn't want to see you because all she can think about is your jerk brother. She's trying to forget about him. Leave her alone." It was much harsher than I would've liked, but it was the truth.
Matt looked at me for some kind of protest, but I just focused my eyes on the table, letting him know I had none. Without a word, he sent me a chilling look I wish I hadn't seen out of the corner of my eye. And then he was gone.
Letting out a held breath, I looked up at Maryse as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Maybe we should eat elsewhere," she pointed out, and I couldn't follow her back to our shared room fast enough. I couldn't stand to be in the presence of anyone I once cared about anymore. And I completely blame Jeff. For everything.
We ate at the small table outside on the balcony, talking about nothing of any importance. Of course there was only one thing still in the back of my mind. But I tried not to let it consume me. I prayed I was making the right decision. I mean, weeks ago, I'd be sitting here with Amy instead of Maryse, someone I had barely ever talked to. We'd be waiting for Matt and Jeff to get back from the gym. They'd come in, freshly showered and Matt would walk over to her, wrap his arms around her shoulders from behind and kiss her on the temple. And Jeff would lean his legs against the table, fold his arms over his stomach and watch me until I finally told him to stop. Then he'd crack a smile and lean forward…
I breathed a sigh and rubbed my temples, trying to clear my head. It was no good thinking about him like that. Thinking about them in general. That's how things used to be. Before my dad started dating someone closer to my age than his; before Matt and Amy had to hunt me down just to see me for two seconds; before Jeff broke my heart.
It wasn't worth thinking about anymore. I'd made my decision.
I just hope it was the right one.
Maryse and I got to know each other over the next couple of hours, and we were just about to grab a small lunch when there was a knock at the door. I pulled it open to see John and Mike both waiting patiently on the other side, and I stepped back to let them in.
"Ladies," Mike greeted, giving me a nod before enveloping Maryse in his arms and engaging in a full on lip lock. John flipped his sunglasses up over his eyes and flashed a perfect smile at me, making the butterflies come back and hopefully giving me a sign that I had indeed done the right thing. Falling out with Jeff had taken a lot of friends from me, but John was good for me. I just knew it.
He stepped in close to me, brushing some hair behind my ear and put his lips close to my ear. "You still owe me from earlier, you know." The suggestive reminder sent an excited quiver through my body, and without another word, we left the room and headed to John and Mike's room. Surely Maryse and Mike wouldn't mind the privacy the way things were continuing between them in there.
John cornered me against the door of his room once we got there, our flirtatious laughter filling the currently abandoned hallway. It was when he moved in closer and looked down at me. And I was suddenly hit with that horrible image you see in movies. You know, when suddenly the person you're supposed to be happy to see becomes someone you don't want to see?
Yeah.
It was just in the way he looked down at me that made me get the heebie jeebies just the way I would get them when Jeff looked down at me like that. And for an unnerving and unexpected moment, I saw Jeff's face instead of John's.
He must've noticed I was startled because he pulled back a little and frowned. "You okay?" he questioned.
Quickly, I snapped out of it and nodded my head. "Oh, yeah. I just… I have your key. We should go in before some rabid fans find us." I gave him a sexy smile as I pulled the key out of my pocket and unlocked the door, playfully trying to close it before he got in. But he all too easily pushed it open, my full body weight being nothing for a guy like him.
He laughed as he clicked the door shut behind him and tossed his sunglasses on the TV stand, taking long, predatory steps towards me while I shuffled backwards. "Okay, now you're really fucked," he intimidated before sprinting forward and grabbing me by the middle.
We shared rough, passionate kisses, his strong hands sliding everywhere while my fingers grasped the smooth locks of his hair. God, what was I thinking before? How could I not want this. John was fucking gorgeous! I should be so thankful to have someone like him in my life at such a dark time. Why the hell would I need Jeff?
John ground his jean-covered boner against my thigh and before I knew it, I was being pushed backwards and onto the bed. My body bounced as he pressed me into the matters, crunching against something that sounded like paper. John pulled back a minute to grab in from underneath my shoulder and went to carelessly toss it aside, but something caught his eye before it left his hand and he hesitated, pushing himself into an upright stance and staring at the yellow envelope in his hand.
I propped myself up on my elbows, looking on curiously. Was whatever that is really important enough to stop what we were getting in to? Jeeze…
"What is it?" I questioned. John's brow creased as his eyes flickered to me quickly, then he pried the little hooks of the seal open and pulled out its contents.
I knew it wasn't good when his expression tensed and he ran his free hand through his hair. "What the fuck…" he grumbled, throwing a set of pictures onto the bed I was currently kneeling on.
My heart sunk when I saw a few dirty pictures that only one other person had ever seen. I let out a choked gasp and slumped down. What the fuck is right.
"Look, I texted these to Jeff when we were together. I never thought he'd fucking… shit!" I shrieked the last part, tearing them in half and marching over to the garbage where I left the paper. Rushing back over to John I stopped his pacing and held his head, forcing him to look me in the eyes. "I'm really sorry. I can't believe him!"
I got scared when John pushed my hands away and began pacing again. "Do you know how stupid it is to send pictures like that to people? People know who you are! Do you want to end up like Mickie with that shit all over the internet? What the hell would your family think?"
"Oh my god, are you really doing this right now?" I can't believe this is happening! What the fuck is Jeff's issue? I know it was him! No one else has these pictures. And no one else would be so fucking screwed up enough to do that!
I was going to kill him. I was going to bitch him out as soon as I saw him. He breaks my heart at the worst time possible, and then when I finally find happiness, he tries to ruin it for me!
If he didn't want me, fine. But I at least thought he cared enough about me to wish me happiness. Apparently not though. And now John's pissed off.
God, if John leaves me because of this, I don't know what I'll do. I'll literally have no one…
That thought made the waterworks turn on, and before I knew it, John softened his expression, sighed and came over to me, wrapping his arms around my slighter frame.
"I'm sorry. I know this isn't what they were meant for. It's not you I'm mad at." His words relieved and comforted me. Those were supposed to be private pictures I'd sent to Jeff at times when our schedules clashed and we couldn't be with each other. I would've thought he'd have the decency to delete them when we parted ways, but that was obviously a dumb assumption.
I pulled back from John, shaking my head at the thought. How could he be so incredibly heartless? Why the hell would he be doing this to me? Why can't he just leave me alone?
"I'm putting an end to this shit tonight," John announced. He wasn't going to deal with it anymore, and I can't blame him. Jeff was purposely fucking with us; he wanted everything to fall through.
I just don't understand why he wants me to be alone. If he wanted me, he could've had me. He must know that. But now that I'm suddenly not under his watchful eye anymore, the guy I'm spending time with suddenly becomes public enemy number one?
And then he goes and sends naked pictures of me to him? What the fuck, really Jeff? Really?
"I don't know what to do. I don't even get it."
John huffed and shook his head. "I already told you X; he wants you back. He just didn't realize it until he assumed you were with someone else. And now that you are with me, I'm going to end the bullshit."
"If he wanted me back so badly, why the hell would he be acting like such a prick? Is that supposed to make me want him again?" It just didn't make sense to me. Why would Jeff think I'd like that?
"Wow, you are really unaware sometimes, you know that? Makes me realize exactly how young you are," John chuckled in a half amused, half disbelieving manner. "Look, I didn't really hang out with you guys, but I saw what went on and from the times I'd seen you and Jeff interact until you were dating him, he was pretty openly mean and disrespectful to you."
I thought about that for a minute and realized he was right. He was completely right! What the hell is wrong with me? Why would I date him, and tell him I loved him, and give him my virginity when all he did was torment me and say nasty things every opportunity he got?
Strong hands smoothed my hair back and John's lips pressed into my forehead. "Look, I'm going to sort it al out, okay?"
What else could I do now but trust him?