I thought to myself how much my life had changed in the past twenty years. I had gone from an awkward hormonal teenager to a successful part-time computer programmer and full time dad of two. This all seemed so far away when I was young. I was just happy to be Freddie Benson, tech producer of iCarly and strait A student. It never crossed my mind that I was going to be so much more.

I always dreamed of my future with fame and fortune, but I was luckier. I'm a middle class citizen and a husband and a father. Those two things are much more important than my idea of the two most important things. I guess when your young you don't see the whole picture yet. You only see the images of the easy life with no emotion and people in it.

Now my life is so much better is possible. Don't get me wrong I had a great childhood and I was a mini-star. Being on iCarly had its perks. But now my life is much brighter and more difficult, but you can't have everything be good or else you don't understand and appreciate your good things.

The staircase started to shake and that only meant one thing, attack of the five year olds. My two twin children Devon and Kara ran down our front hall stairs and into the living room where I was seated. I knew that when you heard whining someone wasn't getting along.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" my daughter Kara squealed, "Devon took my Barbie's, again. Make him give 'um back!"

I sighed, "Devon did you take your sister's dolls? And I want the truth young man."

"I was using them for a 'periment! Daddy you have to come and see… with my kit I made them covered in green jell-o!"

Kara's face grew bright red and I knew that the explosion was coming. It was only a matter of time until she blew up at my son and took no sorry's.
"YOU PUT MY BARBIE'S IN JELL-O?"

Devon shrank down to a worm and softly replied, "Not if you didn't want me to, Kara."

I covered my face with my hands because I knew were this conversation was going. Kara was going to give me the puppy dogface and I would get Devon in trouble. It really wouldn't be my fault though because what dad can say no to the face of his daughter?

"Daddy?" she began to extend her bottom lip over her front, "Devon made me sad. My dollies are ruined and now I'm really sad." She crawled on my lap and gave me a hug.

I let out the inevitable "aw". I sadly turned to my son, "Devon you will bring me down one of your swords to throw away young man. After that you will sit in the time-out chair for ten minutes. Go now."

My son look defeated as he slowly climbed the stairs. I really was sorry about his punishment but my darling daughter was my own personal savior. She was my little light and her tight curls made her, if possible, even cuter.

Then Devon marched back down the stairs with as much dignity as a five-year-old who just got in trouble could. However, I am displeased to announce that five-year-olds have no dignity what so ever. So of course my wife would soon get involved.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Kara got me in trouble again and Daddy is being a farthead and making me throw out my sword!" He yelled up the stairs.

Now I was in trouble. Once my wife got involved then I was overruled and our children would fight even more.

"FREDDIE! UPSTAIRS, NOW!" she yelled from the top of the stairs.

"Coming, I'm coming."

I finally reached the second floor and made my way to my bedroom were my wife was folding Kara's clothes. She did not look pleased to be bothered on her laundry day and I knew that those darn lovable kids were about to get me "grounded", again.

"You look beautiful today Hun," I said trying to thin the air.

"Cut the crap Freddie. Now what did Devon tell me about Kara and you?"

"Um, well, Kara was playing dolls and Devon stole a few of them. Kara got angry and ratted him out to me. So I asked him what happened and he told me he was having and experiment and covered the dolls in green jell-o. After that Kara got all 'Daddy look at my beautiful eyes and say yes to everything I say.' Then I told Devon he had to throw away one of his toy swords and it in a ten minute timeout. You are now officially caught up."

My wife sighed at my stupidity or maybe it was fatheritity. She didn't understand the deep bond between father and daughter. I was the puppet and she was my master. I would protect my baby girl to the ends of the earth and back again.

"Freddie, babe, you are the parent here not Kara. You need to understand that even though we all know you can't say no to her your gonna have to learn. Because every day I get home from the studio all I hear is yelling. I don't like coming home to yelling and when I'm not happy then your not happy. Get my drift?"

"Hun, you try saying no to those eyes. I feel my heart breaking just thinking about putting her through that pain. How could a mother even think like that?"

"Oh my god, Freddie that's pathetic and you feel your heart breaking? Are you serious? I'm gonna start on dinner and you will tell Kara she can't get away with her constant fighting and dictating how my house is run."

"She's five."

"Well, that's just to bad and your going to do it, now!"

"Alright I'm going," I replied my head down. I was going to break my precious daughter fragile heart. How was I going to live with myself? I declined down the stairs and entered the living room where my kids were throwing insults back and forth at each other.

"Kara come her now young lady." Her head snapped up at me and her eyes widened. She walked over slowly and gave my leg a hug.

She held on tight and said, "Yes, Daddy?" Then she gave me the cutest face. I couldn't help myself so I picked her up and hugged her.

"Listen, love, you need to stop picking on your brother. It is giving your mother a headache and we don't want that. So can you promise Daddy that you won't do it anymore?"

"Okay Daddy I promise."

"Good girl now give Daddy a kiss." She responded to giving me a quick peck and running off to watch TV.

I smiled. Job well-done Benson, job well done. I proceeded to heading down the hallway and going to my kitchen.

"Well I handled it. Kara is gonna stop."

My wife turned around, "Is she really?" She burned holes through my skull with her eyes.

I scoffed, "Um, yes. You think I can't handle the situa… yea, no. But come on she just and then I and long story short… I couldn't do it, Sam."

I bet you all are shocked the great and handsome Freddie Benson didn't end up with Carly Shay. But I was young and foolish, I was holding on to something that I thought was so real and true when the real truth was on the other side of the camera.

We got together in high school when I was sixteen. My sophomore year. The two of us still fought and yelled but we had a new way to cool down. Personally I like our way better than the previous way I would cool down. Because fighting with making out is a good thing, I advise it to anyone who needs relief.

Then in our senior year we broke up. Our lives were heading in two very different directions. I was going to Oxford to gain new experience in another country and to become better in the computer field. While Sam was going to Juilliard to become an actress.

I had two serious girlfriends after Sam but I guess I didn't really want to be with them. Then I met Allie. She was beautiful with long red hair and a fiery personality. She was English and I was with her my junior and senior year in college. We got engaged end of my senior year.

The two of us went to New York to get her career in law in the works while I got a job in Apple. I quickly got higher in the Apple world and I was the manager for the West Coast. It was awesome and I was so happy, but I knew something was missing.

Of course your probably curious how Sam fits into all of this. It was five months before I was getting married to Allie. We both enjoyed the theatre and with my new status at Apple I could afford to go often. Allie was a huge Harry Potter fan and of course it was put on Broadway. Broadway will put anything on the stage with the funds.

I took her to the opening night and we walked the carpet and everything. I wasn't famous for Apple, but people knew me and it was surprising. They began to ask me about my iCarly days and that's when it clicked I was Freddie the Techie to them. So I answered their questions and went inside the Hilton theatre waiting for the show to start. Allie was jumping for joy behind me.

The lights dimmed and the curtain raised. Standing center stage was a cradle. Then the music started and I heard screams. I remember it like yesterday.

Allie leaned toward me and she grabbed my arm, "Freddie this is it!"

I smiled at her but I was a little annoyed that she was talking I wanted to watch the show. Then a woman ran onstage and a voice was heard from off stage.

The male voice screamed, "Lily take Harry! Keep it from him."

Another male voice shouted, "Avada Kedavra!"

The woman onstage cried out in despair, "James! No, no hush Harry. Mommy will protect you."

A man who was obviously Voldermort walked onstage and began to taunt her. He gave her the option to save herself and he would just kill the baby. But true to J.K. Rowling's words she refused and died. The man lurked toward Harry and went to kill him but instead Voldermort perished (through a trap door).

A tall man went to Harry's crib and hushed the baby. His long beard giving him a look of wisdom. "You are safe now young one. The time for you will come and you will have to face many challenges, but for now your family waits."

The show progressed with Harry's first five years at school each with the same children actors. When the time came that intermission would approach at any second Harry started his sixth year. A new actor came out and he would obviously play the older Harry. I was so relieved that they would give the role to someone older.

Allie squeaked next to me and I let out a laugh. She was so excited because the Harry and Ginny relationship was her favorite. I was excited to because something about the last two books just got to me. In a good way. I turned my attention back to the stage and listened to the older Harry.

The music began to start and Harry started to sing:

"Another year coming forward

Another fight that is over

I've got a feeling that this will be different

This year will be special and new

And I'm ready to learn who

I am."

Ron entered and began:

"I am older now

And I think I love her, how

Did this happen

This trap I'm

In will be another year coming to me."

The lights came up and Hermione picked up where Ron left off

"Got to learn the ways of the world

Need to know my part it in all and I will be

Another year coming for me."

Suddenly the audience started to clap around me. Allie leaned over to me, "Oh my god! Freddie do you know who is coming up next she's my favorite Broadway singer!"

I snapped my head to the stage and a girl with red hair came on. She started to sing and the audience clapped. Apparently she was big in the world of Broadway.

"I thought I'd fight and never back down

Don't think I'm clown for trying

Now, I'm trying to move on

And picture you gone

But it's too hard!

So why is another year done and over

And you and the others

Still don't notice me

What can I do?

That will get you

To notice me, ahh

Cause I am learning to go on

Without you is living without a wand

But you never see

So what is the point of me?

Ohh what is the point of me

Looking forward to a new year

'Cause you still be here!"

My eyes grew big. The girl on stage was amazing and flipped through the playbill to see who the girl who played Ginny Weasley was. I finally reached the page and if it was possible my eyes grew even bigger. The page read Sam Puckett. I quickly read her biography.

Sam Puckett- (Ginny Weasley) Broadway: Lily in Castaways, Allie in The Notebook (2016 Tony and Drama Desk Award Winner), Inga in Young Frankenstein, Maureen in Rent (2013 Tony and Drama Desk Award nominations), Roxie in Chicago, Glinda in Wicked, Eponine in Les Misérables. Dance: Juliet in Romeo and Juliet (New York Ballet), Nikiya in La Bayadère, Sugar Plum Fairy in Nutcracker. Proud Equity member.

It surprised me. Sam had did it and was very successful in her career. I always knew she could do it. She was talented and you could tell by iCarly. The dancing did throw me off guard though because it was hard for me to imagine Sam prancing round a stage in a dress.

I was snapped away from the playbill by the loud applause over the chorus' final note of the act. The curtain fell in front of actors and the lights came back up. People began to move around and filter into the lobby. Allie looked at me with curious eyes.

"It's nothing. I was just reading the playbill about Sam. She really did become really successful."

"You talk as if you know her. Freddie she is my favorite performer if you know her do you think she would let us go backstage?"

"I never said I knew her Allie. Can you just drop it?"

"Why are you getting so defensive? I just asked if you knew her and you jump down my throat. If you don't want to talk about it then that's fine."

"Listen Allie it's hard to explain alright. I knew her in high school. It was five years ago and I haven't spoken to her in three years since I met you."

She bought it and went into the lobby. She met up with her friend Bonnie Wright who strange enough played Ginny Weasley in the Harry Potter movies. They talked until the lights flashed signaling the start of Act 2.

I led Allie back to her seat and Act 2 started. I watched Sam the entire show not letting my eyes fall off her. Allie lingered next to my ear and whispered, "This is my favorite scene with Dean."

And just as Allie said Dean and Ginny were shown in a deep embrace of lips. My face must have mirrored Harry's because I had a look of surprise and anger on my face. I wanted to rip that actor to shreds. It made me feel things I hadn't felt since I was eighteen. My face tightened and my body stiffened.

Allie rubbed my arm, "Are you okay, babe?"

"Yea, Allie I'm fine. Just a little tense, that's all."

I finally calmed down after the scene with Dean. My luck didn't last because soon after the first kiss she kissed Harry. It was a much more passionate kiss than the first. It brought me back to the days that we would spend together bodies close and hearts one. I wasn't allowed to think like that. I was engaged to… to…um, Allie. Yea, Allie.

She sang again later on with her own song. It was a soft ballad with a single spotlight to accent her red wig. She was just as beautiful as I remembered. I watched her every move so closely my eyes would have fallen out.

The lights faded and she did from my vision. I found myself clapping along with the rest of the audience. After a while the show ended and the curtain call began.

When the show ended Allie began to pull me outside. She was saying something about the stage door. I was to busy thinking about Sam and how much I missed her.

We finally arrived at the stage door that Allie was raving about. Suddenly the door swung open and the crowd started screaming a name: Sam.

My head snapped around and there she was in typical Sam clothing, but she had a different air to her. She seemed lighter and gentler. She began walking near the fence and signing playbills. Allie pulled me near the fence so we could get Sam's autograph.

She was laughing and taking pictures with all different people. She reached Allie's playbill and Allie spoke up.

"I think I'm going to faint. You are my favorite singer and I've seen everything you've been in since your Broadway start."

The voice I missed and craved spoke up, "Thanks. That's always nice to hear. So you're from the UK. I can hear it."

"Yea, I am. Do you mind if I take a picture with you?"

"Absolutely! Get someone to take it for you."

Allie grabbed me, "Freddie take a picture."

Sam's body grew still as she looked at me. Our eyes met and the feelings that were bubbling erupted as we connected. She blinked twice just to make sure I was really there.

She barely said, "Freddie? Is that you?"

I replied softly, "Yea. You were wonderful."

She blushed at my comment. I laughed and she just smiled. "Thanks Freddie. It's great to see you. Hey do you want to come back stage?"

Allie stepped in and wrapped her arm around me protectively. I sighed, "Sure."

Allie said, "You mind if his fiancé comes along? Or is it just an old friend thing?"

Sam's face dropped and my heart hurt to see her like that. She looked at Allie's hand and sure enough she saw her engagement ring.

"Um, yea. That's fine with me. Come on you two." I followed her back through the stage doors where the chants of Sam's name grew to a whisper. Allie squeezed my arm and I squeezed back.

For the next half hour Sam showed us all of the costumes and props and sets. I got to use the trap door and Allie got to try on Sam's costumes. We slowly got to catch up on the past five years of our life. Allie mainly stayed quiet and listened. Our final stop before we left was the make-up room where the actor who played Harry was.

"Hey Kyle!"

"How's it hanging Sam? Listen I know that you always answer the same way, but I was just wondering if you and me…?"

Sam sighed like Carly used to sigh at me when I would bother her with the date questions. "No Kyle. I've told you a thousand times that I can't and won't date you."

"Is there someone else?"

"No. I just don't date guys I work with, ever. I'm sorry, but things get complicated and I just can't deal with another heartache."

Maybe I was seeing things but I swear she looked right at me when she said heartache. I could tell Allie sensed it too because she took a step closer to me.

Kyle noticed Allie's sudden move of protection and asked, "Is this the guy who broke your heart Sam? 'Cause if it is… dude you are my idol. You've hooked up with Sam for real and not just on stage. You blow my mind!"

"Kyle, shut-up. And no he is not the man who broke my heart alright. So just drop it." Sam retorted.

Allie stiffened, "What did you just say?"

"Um, drop it?"

Allie's face turned bright red, "I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! You were in love with her once and I think you still are! How dare you be with me and getting ready to marry me when you're in love with someone else! Do you think it's fair to either of us?"

"Allie, calm down. You don't understand what happened! Stop pretending you understand the situation, alright. So just drop it."

"Uhh! I hate those words 'drop it'. You look me in the eye Fredward Benson and you tell me that you don't love her. You tell me that and I'll stay with you. But I've kept my mouth shut all night while you looked at her the way you never looked at me.

"Is this all I am to you? I am her mirror image or her carbon copy? Do I remind you of her and make you feel the slightest bit like your back in the happiest part of your life? What am I to you? I need to know because if you truly love me I'll stay with you forever, but if not I'm not going to have you settle. I want to be with someone who doesn't look at me and think they're settling."

I was completely taken back. Allie was so straight-foreword, so blunt. I had never seen her act with this much emotion before. It frightened me to think I didn't know this side of her.

A thought went off in my head, what else didn't I know about Allie? Her favorite color was brown, she wanted to be a ninja, and her mother had a tattoo of a foot on her foot. No… wait, that was Sam. All of those small details that I 'knew' about Allie were really of Sam. Allie was right; I did see her as Sam. Everywhere I went and was with her I wasn't with Allie I was with Sam.

I must have looked stupid just standing there with my mouth wide open while Kyle, Allie, and Sam all looked at me. They were waiting for my reply. Allie wanted to know if the man she about to spend the rest of her life with truly loved her or if she was a dressed up doll of his ex. Sam wanted to know if she had waited all of those years for Freddie with good reason or not. Kyle was… well; I don't know why Kyle was still there. It wasn't really his business.

After a minute or maybe an hour I responded. Everyone held his or her breath. I knew what I had to say, but I didn't want to say it.

"Allie I love you. I love you more than I've loved any of my past college relationships. We have something special and something I thought I would never have. But, I don't love you the way I love Sam. I love you like a sister or best friend. You are great to be with and talk for hours on hours to. But, I can't love you like I love Sam.

"I love Sam like the sun loves heat. Or the poet loves paper. She is like my everything and I would be lying if I said I didn't think of her everyday for the past five years. She is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing of think of before I float off to dream world.

"Distance has only made the way I feel for her more intense, if possible."

By the end of my speech I knew I broke and mended a heart. Allie would have a scar on her that would heal over time. I knew, though, that I was the only one who could complete Sam. I knew because I felt the same way. Love is funny that way.

I looked at my wife cook. She was still the sun to my heat or the poet while I was her paper.

My body leaned over her back and I kissed her. She responded quickly and turned around to deepen the kiss. I smiled against her lips and she pulsed her lips along the sound of my heart. Our kisses grew intense and beautiful. She began to rub circles on my back when… CRASH!

A small voice came from the living room, " I didn't do it!" Of course they didn't.