Rating: M for coarse language and mature themes throughout

Word Count:754

Disclaimer: I don't own Sora, Riku or Kairi. Kit however, is my conveniently made Mary Sue!

Okay, a little background info just so people don't put me on suicide watch: I was talking to some friends about some depressing stuff for a whike, and I felt really... dark for a while afterwards. To get it out of my system, I wrote this little bit of angst.

Hope you enjoy it!

People call me Kit. I've been suffering from apathy since… well I guess you're about to read about it.

Kairi died first. Her heart just stopped beating. No one knew why, not even the fucking doctors. I heard they found in her bed. They said she looked so peaceful too. Shit, I'll bet if you ignored how cold she was and her still chest, you probably could have thought she was sleeping. In a way she was. The big sleep. The one you don't wake up from.

I wasn't too shaken up by it. I hadn't known her that well. The only person in her group of friends that I was friends with was Riku. He was shaken up pretty bad though, leaned on me for support. I did what I could, which incidentally wasn't much. I tried though, and I guess that's what counts. The worst was the empty desks at school. Like a memorial. Like a fucking grave sitting there two desks away from me. You know how they say you don't miss something until its gone? Whoever said that was a fucking genius.

The worst, however, was that it wasn't over yet.

Two weeks until Sora went. Gunshot to the head. There was no denying he was dead when they found him. I heard it took weeks to get all the blood cleaned up. He didn't leave a note or anything; maybe that was for the better, I don't know. There's a lot of shit I don't know, I've come to realize that now.

Riku took it… strangely. Instead of coming to me for support, he attacked me. Not physically, but verbally. I would have felt better if he had beat the shit out of me. One day he just started yelling at me. All kinds of stuff. Crazy. Started saying how it was all my fault, why hadn't I helped him, all kinds of stuff. Then he ran off. I think he was crying, I sure as fuck know I was.

That was the last conversation I had with him. May have been the last conversation he had with anyone. Over the next few months, he isolated himself. I wanted to help him, really I did. Some people just refused to be helped sometimes. I'm sure others tried to help him as well. We all failed I guess.

One day, I don't know when, they found Riku had hung himself in his closet. We all saw it coming but it didn't matter. Have you ever watched a horror movie with some friends, and a scene comes where you know the villain is going to jump out on the screen suddenly? You notice that even though you and all your friends do everything you can to prepare yourself for it, you all get scared when he jumps? Riku's death was kinda like that. Except substitute scared with endless bawling. Yeah. That's pretty much the correct image.

It was then my apathy hit, I suppose. I tried to stop caring about… well about everything I guess. Apathy lessens the pain sometimes. Sometimes. This time it wasn't doing a great job of it. Still hurt.

Now we arrive here at the present. I've dug myself quite a nice hole. When some people start to consider suicide, I think they should consider it a blessing if they don't have the guts to go through with it. None of those three were blessed with that. Unfortunately, neither am I. I decided I wanted to make myself stand out from those three though. I realized none of them had written a note.

I know you're thinking "Okay, so where's your note?"

What did you think you were reading?