Author's Note: I'm back! Sorry about the rather prolonged absence, but I have now taken my Chartered Surveyor's exams and am back in general circulation. In addition to that, I have also been made redundant, which generally sucks quite frankly, but on the upside, at least I have some time on my hands for writing! This chapter didn't turn out anything like I expected it to, so goodness knows what the next one will be like, but hopefully you won't have to wait quite as long to find out as with this one.

Disclaimer: As before

The first few days back at work passed, if not quite in a blur, at least busy enough to give Addison an excuse not to have to think too much – about anything. She made a point of immersing herself in what she was doing, clocking out at the end of the shift and going home to Sophia. She tried to keep her mind on a sort of autopilot, only letting thoughts and emotions creep in when she was with the little girl. She daren't let herself think about anything else.

Alex Karev, and the myriad of associated complications that came with him, was not what she needed right now. To be fair to him, he had tried to make things as easy as possible for her, after that heartbreaking smile that he used to reduce her insides to jelly on her first day back. He had been quiet and quick, shadowing her in the best sense of the word, always at her elbow with the chart or test result she wanted before she even asked for it. He had been thorough when she had worked with him before, but he was more so now. It was as if he was doing everything he could to make things easier for her.

Which was just making it harder. Each cup of coffee he brought her, every difficult parent he calmed down for her, every morning she came in to find 'someone' had already gathered everyone together for rounds instead of the usual quarter of an hour wasted chasing everyone down, she found herself overcome by his thoughtfulness. Not even Derek, fifteen years ago and at his most caring, had been that considerate.

She had tried, a couple of days ago, to thank him, but he had brushed it aside.

'It's nothing,' he said. They were in an elevator together, but he didn't get up in her personal space like he used to. He was leaning back against the wall, and she couldn't help but think how sexy he looked. Damn elevators.

'No, I mean it Karev,' she had tried to insist. 'This whole… everything,' she made an expansive, vague hand gesture, 'hasn't been easy, but you're helping, so thank you.'

'No problem. If ever there's anything I can do, let me know.'

The smile he gave her was genuine, all the way to his eyes, but not heartbreaking. She wondered if he was trying not to complicate things (which was definitely what she wanted) or if he really was just trying to help out.

Whichever, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of asking. Or at least, that's how she was going to sell it to herself. In reality, she didn't know if she was more scared of what the answer might be, or the fact that she had even contemplated asking it.

Mark on the other hand, was crabby. She had noticed it when they got home from work after their first shift back – she had been expecting it, although that didn't make him easier to live with. It was such a goldfish bowl at the hospital, and people simply couldn't help but gossip, and she could see that it was really getting to him. He clearly viewed it as his duty to take out his bad temper on everyone he came across. Apart from Sophia, the only person who was immune to his black mood was Derek, although Addison could tell Mark was at least trying not to bite her head off.

At the hospital, the only residents he could abide working with were Meredith, understandably, and, curiously, Izzie Stevens. Addison would have thought Izzie would be too cheery for him, but they seemed to be rubbing along together on that burns case. Bailey had made the mistake of trying to give him an intern today, and it had been a disaster.

The poor boy had ended up shutting himself in a supply closet for a good cry after some particularly mean and demoralising jibe of Mark's, but had the misfortune to break the handle off in his hand when he'd tried to get out and had been trapped in there for three hours before anyone noticed he was missing, and four before Facilities managed to unscrew the hinges and get him out. It had been the first time Addison had seen Mark smile, apart from when he was with Sophia, since she'd arrived.

She'd been trying to keep it in, but after eating dinner one evening almost a fortnight after they had been back at work in icy silence, she had enough. She didn't expect him to be anything like his old self for a long time, possibly not ever, but he was getting worse. She had been looking at apartment listings, but there was nothing close to the hospital that was half decent, and she didn't really want to leave Sophia, but she couldn't carry on living like this.

She put her knife and fork down with a clatter, and pushed her plate away. 'Mark, please, I can't stand this.'

He pressed his lips together and for a moment looked like he was just going to get up and walk away, but he didn't. After a pause, he said, 'You're not going to ask me what's wrong, are you?'

'Don't be ridiculous.' His tone had been sneering and she couldn't help but respond in kind. 'Callie's dead. Nothing is ever going to be right again, not in the way it was. But… You… Sometimes I think you're going to be okay, then sometimes you're just… awful. I don't want to leave, but I'm not sure I can live with you like this.'

His face softened. 'Sorry. I just…' He looked as if he was searching for the right words. 'I don't mean to take it out on you.'

'And everyone else at the hospital?'

'Okay, I do take it out on them a bit.'

'A bit?' She raised an eyebrow. 'That poor intern was traumatised.'

'Well, Bailey should have known better than to give him to me.' He looked petulant and boyish for a moment, more normal than he had done since the accident. 'I asked Derek to tell her that I would only work with Meredith or Stevens.'

Addison noticed the reference to Izzie, but she let it slide. This was the first time in days Mark had even come close to opening up, and she wasn't going to let that progress slip away from her.

'Look Mark, I don't want to make this any harder, but I'm not finding it easy living like this. I've lost Callie too, and I know your loss is much greater, but I'm not sure I can handle your grief on top of mine. I don't know what to do.'

He reached out across the table and took her hand, squeezing it lightly, and he opened his mouth to say something, but as she looked into his eyes, a flood of memories came tumbling back to her.

Things with Derek had been getting worse; he was working all hours and they had been rowing about every little thing. One evening, Mark had come round with tickets for the Knicks game, but Derek had been caught up at the hospital (or at least, that's what he had said the next day when Mark had asked him about it) so he had taken Addison instead.

They had had a real laugh, more than she could remember having in months with Derek, and even though she didn't have the slightest clue what was going on in the game, she enjoyed herself. He took her to some awful burger joint afterwards, the kind of place she wouldn't normally be seen dead in and bought her an enormous cheeseburger that had her in the gym every day for a week afterwards.

Then he leaned towards her over the greasy table, and took her hand in his, and at that moment, she realised she hadn't thought about Derek once, all night, and that somehow not thinking about him had been okay. It had been better than okay; it had been a relief.

As long as Mark was there to hold her hand.

And now here they were again, the elephant back in the room with them as large and awkward as ever.

She pulled her hand away, and he gave her a sharp look.

'I wasn't about to jump you,' he said.

'I know. I'm sorry.' She was flustered. 'I didn't… Oh crap. I'm sorry,' she said again. 'You looked like you were about to say something,' she said quickly, hoping he would let the moment pass.

He did. He sat back in his chair and sighed. 'Do you want to know what's really been bothering me?'

She had thought it was the rumours at work, the incessant gossiping and picking over his life, the questions, but there was something in his tone that warned her that this was something different.

'Yes, of course.'

He got up, and went over to a drawer in the dresser that he kept paperwork in. He drew out a letter and passed it to her. 'This arrived a couple of days after the funeral.'

She quickly skimmed over it. It was from Callie's attorney, and was about her will. She didn't examine it in detail, but it looked like everything – and there was a lot of it – was left in trust for Sophia. She and Mark were trustees.

Addison had read enough. She pushed the piece of paper back across the table towards Mark, and she thought he was reaching out to take it from her, but instead, he took her hand again. This time, she did not pull away.

'I don't know what to do.'

'Have you spoken to the attorney about this?'

He shook his head. 'It makes it too real. And I know it is real, and that sticking my head in the sand isn't going to help, but I can't face it. I mean, did you see the way he wrote about her? The deceased's Estate. She's a person, she's Callie.'

'It's just the legal jargon, the way they have to say it.'

He looked at her appealingly. 'Would you call him? I just… I can't. I'm sorry.'

She really didn't want to. Seeing it all set out baldly on paper like that had made her throat constrict in an attack of grief that she had thought she was past. 'I don't know Mark, the letter is addressed to you.'

'But you're one of the Trustees too, I'm sure you can handle it.'

'If there are any meetings that I have to go to, you're coming too. I can't do it all on my own.'

'That's fair enough.'

She got up and picked up the dishes to take them through to the kitchen. As she drew close to him, she bent over and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead. He smiled up at her, and caught her wrist.

'Thank you.'

She sighed. 'It's okay.'

'And I know you've been looking for a new apartment. Please stay. I'm sorry for being such a bastard to you, I only take it out on you because I trust you not to give up on me.'

'You don't do it to Derek. You can trust him.'

'Not like I can you. Please stay, Addie.'

'I can't stay forever.'

'A bit longer. Please.'

For some reason, Alex's face jumped into her mind. The way his expression changed in the bar when Meredith had said that she would give her a lift back to Mark's. Something shifted in his eyes, and he had looked faintly hurt. Just as then, it made her want to say no.

'Okay. A bit longer.'