'+,Good Enough,+'

I sat on my bed staring down at the floor. I felt as if everything was wrong, as if human emotions still captured my soul and slowly ripped it apart. I felt like I could not breathe, as if everything around me was squeezing the life right out of me. I sighed as I thought about the night before, I wanted to replay it in my mind, why do I feel this way?

'Flashback'

"Sometimes I wonder" I remember Alucard saying the night before, his velvet voice capturing my attention.

"Yes Master?" I asked looking up at him, he wasn't wearing his hat, and I could see his black hair dangling in front of his face. Emocard, Integra called him, now I see why.

"Why do you insist on being my slave forever?" He asked, his questions were always straight forward, no beating around the bush, but there was always a hint of sarcasm in his tone of voice. As if everything were just games to him, watching humanity fall apart just for his amusement.

"What do you mean?" I asked trying to think about what he'd just asked, Why do you ask? What could he possibly mean by that? I asked myself searching for answer.

It was quiet for a moment, Alucard stared at me for a moment, as if trying to read my mind. "You're so much stronger now, why do you still attach to me? You could have so much more power and yet…" He paused.

'End Flashback'

I looked down at my fingers, I had bitten the nails of pretty badly, strange, as it seems I never had bitten my nails until a few nights ago. I sighed and took out my diary, I need an answer. I thought as I flipped through the pages.

Dear Diary, the small messy handwriting said.

I think I will forevermore give up any hope of being a regular girl again, Why you ask? I feel as though something strange is happening to me, Alucard keeps insisting I become a full-fledged vampire, but… I just can't do it, there's this part of me that just wants to stay like this, forever. It's so complicated, I can't put it into words, ever since I met him I don't think I've ever felt so… That was the end of my last diary entry, So…? What was I trying to say? Maybe I should write down everything and then fall asleep, I thought to myself.

It really was complicated. I mean, hello I'm only 18, what am I suppose to know? I sighed and laid myself to sleep, and bam, I was out like a light.

My vision was hazy when I awoke, I must have had a good dream too considering my pillow was wet with drool. Oh crap, not that habit again, I whined in my head. I looked at my clock, I was up about an hour early, Great, now what am I going to do for an hour? I asked myself as I jumped out of my coffin. I decided I was going to walk around for a while, I felt as though I hadn't gotten much sleep, and yet I can't go back to sleep, I hate that. I changed into mist and walked through my door, I must have dosed off in the process too because I found myself upstairs already.

I walked around the seemingly endless hallways for ten minutes before coming to a stop. I must have taken a wrong turn because at this moment I had no idea where I was. I kept walking though not really paying much attention to it. I sighed again and slumped down to the floor with my back against a wall, I'm so bored! I got back up and suddenly noticed a room at the end of the hallway, of course I hadn't recognized it before, (Maybe because I've never been this way before…) but something was strange, this feeling I felt, it was like I was being drawn to it. I walked to it, slowly and precautious. I found that the door was already opened and peeked inside. It was a vacant room, empty, except for the piano on the side. I walked inside, wanting to take a look at the piano. I'd always wanted to play one, ever since I was a child. I looked down at its black and white keys and played the middle C. The sound was perfect, as if the piano was new, but there was dust everywhere, the piano had some cobwebs and a lot of dust. How can something like this stay tuned after not being played in so long? I asked myself.

I smiled as I sat down and wiped the dust away. I began to play random chords until I became familiar with where everything was. Suddenly I found a tune I really liked and began playing to it, the notes sounded so familiar and without thinking, I began singing to it.

Under your spell again.
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no to you.

Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
I can't breathe but I feel...

Thoughts of Alucard began filling my head, his voice, his face, his all too confident personality, (Which I swear will get him killed one day) he made me feel…

Good enough,
I feel good enough for you.

Good enough? I asked myself. Do I really feel that way? I was clueless to what love was suppose to feel like, what wanting someone to hold on to forever was suppose to feel like.

Drink up sweet decadence.
I can't say no to you,
And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.
I can't say no to you.

And no matter how many times I want to say no I'll stay quiet or I'll do the opposite of what I wanted to do I thought still singing.

Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
Can't believe that I feel...

Good enough,
I feel good enough.
It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.

I remembered the days I'd have dreams about him, about us being together. I always thought they were so meaningless, but now…

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.
Pour real life down on me.
'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.
Am I good enough for you to love me too?

I felt a tear slide down my cheek mimicking a razorblade. I was still playing as I sobbed quietly.

So take care what you ask of me,
'cause I can't say no.

Love? I finished singing with a sob, I made sure I wasn't loud. I lowered my head in shame, How could I have done that? He'd never like me, not like that. What's wrong with me? All these thoughts were pouring through my head, I just didn't understand it.

"Good morning" I heard very familiar voice call out from a distance.

I immediately stood up, wiped my tears and looked up, "G-good m-m-morning master" I said stuttering a little bit. I tried to even out my voice and make my face stop flushing, it wasn't working out so well.

He walked closer, I could tell, he knew I was crying. I blinked and suddenly he's just half a foot away from my face. "You may be able to block me out most of the time, but this time I heard every word" He smirked as if he'd accomplished something.

Whoops forgot he could read minds…I thought to myself. He cupped my face with his hands, I instantly blushed… this has to be a dream!

He leaned in closer, "Stay still" I heard him say, "This is no dream" Our lips met, it was almost insanity, it couldn't be real, happy endings don't exist! The moment was much too perfect to last, normally I would have expected someone to walk in and ruin the moment, but to my surprise the old ruin fluffy moments that you'd see in films didn't happen. The kiss felt like it lasted forever, but at the same time it felt like it was much too quick.

"Master I" I started, but very quickly was interrupted.

"I have a name you know" He smirked. "Don't say anything for now" He said hushing my with another kiss.

Really, I must be dreaming, someone pinch me! It felt like hours we stood there kiss after kiss, each one becoming more passionate. How is this even possible? (A/N: Well since I'm the author, I can do that! Lol) I wrapped my arms around his neck, "Are you pretending, this isn't real. You" I was silenced with yet another kiss.

"Do I have to prove it, I mean really?" He asked, but more really stated in a sarcastic manor. "You know you really are…" He stated bluntly.

"What?" I asked smiling.

"You really are good enough"

Disclaimer: The lyrics belong to evanescence not me, I also don't own hellsing (darn!)