AN: This is the iPod Shuffle challenge. Found on the Tamora Pierce fandom. The idea is basically this: you take your iPod, you set it on shuffle, you pick a ship and a fandom, and you write a little ficlet to the first ten songs. My fandom is, obviously, Artemis Fowl and my ship is, predictably, A/H. They're a little rushed, most of them were written in the listening of two songs (except Cinder and Smoke) and some of the ficlets may have entirely different meanings than the songs... But I tried! Also, one of them is more anti-A/M than A/H... in a good way.
Love and Freedom
Haligh, Haligh, a lie, Haligh by Bright Eyes
You laugh, harshly, falsely, as you hold the tiny disk in your hands. It's amazing, you think, that so much lies in such a small thing.
You press the thin coin that he had once given you against the piece of technology, the remaining gold paint blends with that of the currency. You compare the two of them with a critical eye. Both weigh heavily on your conscious.
You don't need the contents of the disk. You remember everything. You remember every word, every action, every thought. And you wish that you didn't. You certainly don't need his memories to add to that.
You don't need the coin. You can feel the pain without looking through that hole. You can feel the cold seeping through your body without the metal pressed against your skin. And you need to not. Because it hurts so badly on its own.
Your tears do not come, not today. You think of the casket, it's tight lid sealing him in, you think of the black armband you wear under your clothes.
You try not to think of your last days together.
It doesn't matter that he's gone, not really. You know that he's been gone from your life for some time.
Sometimes you would have tried to talk to him, and he'd just push you away. Other times he'd seek you out, and you'd avoid confrontation at all costs. You played tag with him, dancing around each other, both pushing and pulling at once.
It shouldn't have been a surprise when you saw him with someone else. It shouldn't have been surprised when he found out that you too had other, more reasonable offers.
And still it tore both of your hearts apart. You regret it all today. But you're not sure if you would have felt differently had you made a different choice.
You had had a plan, you know that. But the plan had crumbled when confronted with reality. And now there were no more chances.
You laugh because of the irony of it all. But your laughter is a lie. You don't find it funny. You don't find anything funny anymore.
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Cinder
and Smoke by Iron and Wine
You love him.
You realize that you might have loved him all along. Something about his gaze, something about his approval warms you.
It's a difficult situation, but you figure that you need him like you need the sun. He draws you to him. When you're away from him you are exposed to the whipping wind and icy air.
You go to him.
You ignore any disapproval. You close your eyes and jump, feeling the heat of passion in your belly.
You don't care what others say, you need his snug embrace.
And when you're with him you glow. You feel better than you ever have in your life.
You fight with him.
Your voice raises, echoing through the large house. His stays calm and cool, his tone bites at your ego and wounds your pride. Your shouting nearly makes him cower.
You are embarrassed by the tears that stream down your face. You're supposed to be the strong one. His eyes remain cold and impassive. You know that there is emotion back there somewhere, and you just want to pull it out.
You are on fire. Your anger clashes with your need, your stress mixes with your shame. You cannot sort through all of the emotions that crackle and burn inside of you. They consume you in their blaze.
You leave for a while.
The fire doesn't stop, at first. You still feel everything that you felt before. You are left to face the ugly smoke that the heat has caused. And yet you slip back into routine, you resume your day-to-day life, still feeling as if there's something missing.
As the emotions dwindle you find yourself cold. You want to feel as you did before.
With the taste of ash still sitting in your mouth you go back to him, and you do it all again.
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Tiny
Vessels by Death Cab for Cutie
He has to love her.
She kisses him with lips that are as light as feathers. Her eyes are cunning and dark.
She is beautiful. She smells of berries and honey. Her hair is a brilliant gold. Her mind is sharp.
"I love you."
She touches his arm, she holds his hand.
He wants to mean every word that he says.
"Is something wrong?"
She traces the lines on his palm, playfully but with some concern.
"I don't want to talk about it."
She pouts, her clever fingers dance up his arms, sending shivers down his body.
She is beautiful.
She kisses him again, more thoroughly. Her eyelashes brush his cheek as she touches her lips to his nose.
But she doesn't mean anything to him.
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Expectations by Belle & SebastienTo hell with them! Because since when do you do what anyone else expects?
When you were little it was the same. Your teachers, your classmates, your parents, they were all similar. You weren't very smart, but you were gutsy. They thought that you'd end up as a secretary. Sure, you said that you wanted to be a police officer, but they really just laughed at you for that.
You used to train obsessively, and the boys thought that it was hilarious. They'd push you and prod you until you couldn't take it any more. You were always blamed for the resulting fights.
You wouldn't date a single one of them, so you were that crazy lesbian. Once you were in college, though, that never stopped the teachers from trying to cop a feel. You were the only girl, after all. At most you'd end up with a desk job.
And you did it. You destroyed everything that they ever thought of you. You are successful, you are the best of your kind.
So they bash you for being in love. You did it once before, you'll do it this time too.
You're on top of the world again.
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Musicbox by Regina SpektorHolly felt like screaming. She was drowning in mortality.
Her hands automatically moved the papers from the IN to the OUT box. She felt as if she was part of a machine. This work was dull. And it was the same thing, every day.
She felt like clockwork. It wasn't even the action that she missed. It was the way fieldwork changed you. The way that you learned so much. The way that every second counted.
Here she was dying slowly.
Holly was wasting time! She checked off another report with a growl. There was better things for her to do!
She stood up with emphasis. While she was down here moving papers from one place to another the clock of life, specifically his, was ticking.
Holly stormed out of her office in a rage. She was yearning to get out.
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Tired of Waiting for You by the KinksHolly looked at Artemis, unimpressed.
"What?" He asked.
"You are seriously suggesting that we spend the only night I managed to get off from work with Myles and Beckett. Artemis, I love your brothers, but..."
"But what?" Artemis said.
Holly sighed, "That's it, I'm tired of waiting."
She walked cautiously up to Artemis and very slowly pressed her lips against his.
Holly backed up with a slightly satisfied look on her face.
"Oh, that," Artemis said. "I guess we could get dinner or something."
Holly rolled her eyes. "I guess."
Artemis grinned bashfully, "Sorry..."
"That's alright," Holly said, smiling coyly. "And dinner would be nice."
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Symbol in My Driveway by Jack JohnsonHolly's mouth hung open as she surveyed the scene around her.
"F-for me?" She asked.
Artemis nodded, "I thought that you might like a little getaway."
"You didn't have to buy me an island." Holly said.
Artemis shrugged. "It was no trouble, really."
"No trouble?" Holly gagged. "What about the mansion?"
"I designed it myself," Artemis said, and Holly could detect more than a hint of pride in his voice.
"Th-thank you!" Holly was stunned. "Artemis, I really don't need this at all."
Artemis looked a little embarrassed. "It's not really all of the stuff that matters. I just figured that this was a place where we could be, without any of the hassle."
Holly wanted to hug him. "I love it, I love it so much."
Artemis was pleased. "I had hoped that you would."
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Bats in the Belfry by DispatchThey said that she was insane.
They said that nobody would do what she did, that it was barbaric, that it was just wrong.
They said that she was unstable, the crazy girly captain.
They said that her sex should no longer be allowed to join the force because of what they called her "lapse in judgement".
They didn't understand what she did.
They didn't hunger for freedom like she did.
They didn't comprehend the beauty of the human world like she did.
They didn't know how it felt like she did.
They didn't understand their hypocrisy, their duplicity.
They could only notice the wrongs done to them in the past.
They could only notice that what she was doing was odd, taboo.
They could only notice that she was different.
They said that she was crazy.
We all see what we want.
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The Great Event by Leonard CohenArtemis often wishes that he could do it all over again.
He thinks that he could go back in time and start from the beginning. Everything would be new, fresh, clean.
Artemis could right the mistakes of his species. Humans then could start over. They could be less cruel, less harsh.
Then the People would live above ground, in harmony with humans. Then there wouldn't be so many obstacles, so many troubles.
Then maybe he wouldn't have made his own, individual mistakes. Then maybe he wouldn't have lost the trust of his best friend.
Yes, it would be nice to start over. This time he could do everything right. What a sigh of relief that would be.
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House by the Sea by Iron and WineI want to go. I want to leave this house and its tedious chores.
I should be with her, but I am not. Too much keeps us apart these days. Her work, mine. And things haven't been the same. We're both too aware of the wrinkles that have started to grace my forehead, and the grey hairs that litter the top of my head.
She doesn't have much support to see me either. It seems that everyone around her wants me gone. I find it unfair; none of them understand me, let alone her.
Too often it's the politicians who make the decisions for her, the ones who don't even fully understand our relationship.
Many of the were never involved in the infamous Artemis Fowl case. They do not know what events surpassed, and they don't fully care. They wish to remain ignorant, and have no interest in changing the problems with their system. I am their scapegoat.
Some of them know but don't bother to understand. All they want is me out of their lives. Their goal is to kick me from hers. They work frantically to keep anything that has to do with me from their records.
They don't think of me as human. They hardly think of me as an animal.
It always comes back to the wrongs that I've done. I've changed, of course, but I can hardly blame them for thinking otherwise.
The distance between myself and her is vast. Sometimes it scares me.
I want to join her in her world. I can't, though. I spend so much of my time dodging their accusations. They'll be the death of me.
Someday I'll fix it. Someday they'll accept us. They have to.
I've been dreaming our love and our freedom.
AN: Review please!?
Concrit is loved. And if you haven't heard those songs, listen to
them. :D