Roxas sat on his bed staring off into the darkness of his room. He was dizzy and drunk just moments ago, but now he sat, sober and confused.

Sora had just kissed him.

And not just a normal, non-romantic kiss, but a real passionate and desperate kiss. Roxas didn't know if he should be shocked, appalled, disgusted, or ashamed so he sat and just stared. So much had already happened tonight and he just couldn't wrap his head around it. He snuck out of his house to go to a bar with his cousin and a complete stranger, smoked pot for the first time, and got caught drinking by his substitute teacher. Forgetting about the talk they'd have on Monday he instead tried to make sense of the kiss he had just shared with his cousin.

Roxas felt nauseous, and not just from all the alcohol he drank. He couldn't understand why Sora would do that. They were related and you just don't do things like that with your relatives.

"Maybe," Roxas said to no one but himself, "He was just really, really drunk." People did strange things all the time when they were drunk, so maybe this was just another one of those situations. Besides, it's not like they were ever really close to begin with, so maybe Sora just wasn't thinking.

The next morning made Roxas relax considerably. Sora acted as if nothing had happened and the blonde was sure that Sora was just way too gone last night to remember anything. Roxas was actually a little fuzzy with the details himself.

"Riku's here!" Elena called up the stairs while Roxas finished brushing his teeth. He used to sleep in everyday until Riku would text him to wake up, but now Roxas was always so on edge he barely slept. He found himself up way too early every morning and was able to do his homework, shower, and actually cook a breakfast for himself before Riku was sending his usual wake up text. Last night was no different, except the blonde wasn't just thinking about that night at the party, but of lips all too similar to his own and the thoughts behind them. Sora walked into the bathroom as Roxas left to go get his shoes and school supplies and head downstairs. Blue eyes met for a long moment before each looked towards their original tasks.

Sora remembered everything.

Roxas could barely catch his breath once he was in his room, door closed securely behind him. He wasn't sure what to do, let alone think. He couldn't fathom leaving this room; he just wanted to stay hidden for the rest of eternity.

"Roxas, are you ready yet?" Riku called from the other side of the teen's door.

Shit, Riku can't see me like this."I'll be down in a minute." Roxas rushed around his room collecting his school things and throwing them next to his bag on his bed. He ran his hands through his hair and paused to look in the mirror at his crazed reflection. "You can do this," he whispered at himself, "Riku won't find out, Sora won't say anything. You were fucked up last night, too." He was confident that if he acted cool then maybe things would be alright. He just had to calm down first.

"Serenity now." He huffed a last time before grabbing his bag and heading for the door. He paused, his hand on the knob as he tried to take steadying breaths. "Now or never..." And with that he opened his doors and walked downstairs.

"'Bout time." Riku rolled his eyes and grabbed his car keys off the counter. "Let's go, we're already late." The ride to school was just like any other day. Riku drove quietly, occasionally changing the radio station and Sora sat alone in the back seat. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes about half way and asked Riku if it was ok to smoke in his car. Riku shrugged and rolled down one of the rear windows for the brunette. Roxas sat rigid in the passenger seat and kept his eyes on the buildings they were passing.

School was just as tense for the blonde. He kept his answers and responses short, almost curt and rushed between classes to avoid bumping into his cousin. It was the same evasion tactics he was using for Riku and it seemed to be working pretty well. He was so caught up in this task that he forgot all about his unexpected encounter from the night before.

He felt so confident that this day was going to go without incidence when he walked in to his last class and caught the intense green eyes he knew all too well.

"Fuck." He muttered under his breath, his eyes going straight to the ground to avoid the lingering gaze from Axel. He put his extra books under the desk and pulled his notebook out, trying his hardest to look busy. Axel acted much like Sora had this morning and started his class in the usual way. First there was roll call, collection of homework, then notes and the discussion. Roxas was always so impressed at how involved Axel could get his classmates. Other teachers were lucky if they only had one student asleep in the back, but Axel had everyone throwing in their opinions and ideas. It was mesmerizing how he moved around the class, how he could engage every student as an individual and just make you feel like you mattered.

"So, to wrap up this class, I want everyone to write me a ten page paper relating to the topic." Everyone stared at the redhead silently. "Aw, c'mon. Ten pages is nothing. There are so many things about the second world war you can write about." The whole class groaned and Roxas rolled his eyes at his notebook. He hadn't paid attention during the entire lesson, and instead scribbled away on the page before him. He was face to face with a complex doodle of a dinosaur eating people, mostly the ones sitting around him. "Fine, fine. None of you can write anyway, so instead I just want a short essay. Five paragraphs should do it." There was a sigh of relief around the room and Axel sat on his desk. "So get started, there's still ten minutes left in this class and I ran out of stuff to say."

Axel watched as the students all took out notebooks and opened their textbooks to get started on their papers. Some of them just checked their cell phones under their desks thinking they were discreet. His gaze lingered on one blonde student in particular. He couldn't help but notice this one student ignoring his entire lesson. He looked as if he was writing notes the entire time, but he never once looked up, laughed at a joke, or asked a single question. The redhead wondered if it had to do with their talk. But Roxas had almost always seemed off. Perhaps there were problems at home that were forcing him out of his house on school nights to commute almost an hour and a half into the city just to go to a club and drink illegally. Nothing added up.

The students rushed from their seats as the bell rung while Axel just stayed on his desk. He kept his eyes on Roxas who was slowing collecting his books from underneath his desk. The room was empty in a few minutes leaving the student and single teacher alone in the room. There was an awkward tension between the two for a moment before the silence was finally broken.

"So Roxas, you really don't seem like the bar type to me." Axel raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. "Wanna tell me what's going on?" Roxas shrugged and ran a finger down the spiral end of one of his notebooks.

"It wasn't my idea." He finally looked up at his teacher with blank blue eyes. The two held gazes for what seemed like forever before Roxas looked away nervously. Axel sighed and covered his face with a large hand.

"Look, if there's something going on at home I understand-"

"There's nothing going on at home." Roxas looked steadily at Axel before grabbing his books and hefting them up into his arms. "Don't try and pull that teacher bullshit. Nothing is wrong with me; I just ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time, ok?" It was silent again and the two held their gazes. Axel knew that wasn't totally true, but you can't get blood from a stone and students could be the densest of objects at times.

"Well, if you ever need to talk I'm here. We can leave the teacher bullshit at the door." Axel smiled and got up from his desk. "I know what it's like to be your age; it wasn't all that long ago for me."

"Yeah, and I've gotten this same speech from every guidance counselor since eighth grade. Can I go home now?" Roxas started to make his way towards the door intent on ignoring anything else Axel had to say to him. The redhead wouldn't let Roxas have the last word, however, and stepped in front of the door before the blonde could go through.

"Just don't let me find you there with that man ever again. He's the worst kind of bad. Trust me on this." Roxas stared blankly into fierce greens and sighed.

"Fine, whatever." Roxas shook his head and looked to the floor before meeting the other's gaze once again. "I don't even know him. Last night was the first time I ever saw him." There was a pause and Roxas could feel his heart beating hard in his chest. Axel was inches away from him, close enough that he could feel the other's heat radiating towards him. His senses were bombarded by the redhead, the smell of his cologne and the feel of his steady breathing. He couldn't look away from those piercing green eyes that seemed to be searching his soul for answers. "How do you know him?" Roxas almost whispered. Axel laughed and leaned away from the blonde crossing his arms nonchalantly again across his chest.

"I've worked at the bar all through college. I've seen him plenty enough to know he's no good, and you should really take my advice on that." Axel shook his head, a slight smile on his face. Roxas couldn't get over how purely genuine this man seemed to be. "Go on, go home. And seriously, I don't ever want to see you in that bar again." Axel leaned in close, a finger extended in the teen's face. "Not until you're twenty one. Got it memorized?"

Roxas rolled his eyes and finally walked out of the classroom. He was still a little dizzy and couldn't help but wonder why he got so worked up. It wasn't the same feeling he got when Riku tried to get close, but something different. Something... better? He shook his head and made his way to his locker. There was no need to ponder such thoughts as they were dangerous and futile. Axel was his teacher, much older than he was, and knew about his illegal activities. Roxas decided it would be best to keep him at arms length, and what wonderful arms that man had...

"Really, Roxas?" He muttered to himself as he opened the door to his locker. What he needed now was to try and push any and all thoughts of the red head from his mind and concentrate on something else. But what? He put all his books away and sighed. He didn't have any homework or any upcoming tests he needed to study for, so immersing himself in school work was out. His room was clean, so mindless folding or organizing wasn't an option. He shut the locker and started for the front doors of the school. He was slowly walking the halls trying to think of something to do to occupy his thoughts for the rest of the afternoon and was failing. He kept coming back to those green eyes and knowing smirk.

"Shit." Roxas murmured. Halfway between his locker and the exit he had to pass Axel's classroom again. He was about to do an about face when said red head came out of the room and locked the door. He smiled at the blonde as he fiddled with the key in the lock.

"These doors are the worst." He finally got the key to turn and looked to Roxas. He pulled out an iPod and placed one of the buds in his ear. "So where you off to now, Blondie?" Roxas cringed inwardly, and looked away before shrugging. "Sounds like fun. If I made you miss your bus or something I can give you a ride home."

"No, I walk home so it's not a big deal." Roxas was avoiding the gaze Axel was giving him. What was with this guy? No teachers were ever this helpful. Roxas started walking to the exit again, but Axel just followed along.

"Oh." Axel furrowed his brow but kept walking with him. The silence was awkward and heavy with only the echoing of their footsteps and the tiny sound of the music coming from the swinging ear bud to be heard. Roxas was nervous but in a strange way. He didn't feel threatened by Axel and it piqued his interest. Being this close to anyone but his mother would make him sweaty and uncomfortable, sometimes even panicked. But now, walking alone with the older man, he was nervous for a whole new reason. He didn't feel the unmistakable urge to flee, but instead worried about how the man perceived him, what he thought about the blonde. Could he tell that so much had gone wrong in his seemingly insignificant life? And if he did know, would he be repulsed?

Axel stopped and put a hand on Roxas shoulder. Roxas froze and his eyes went wide. He turned slowly and looked up into those impossibly green eyes. "Seriously, Roxas. If there's anything at all you need to talk about, know you can come to me. Anything at all." Roxas swallowed hard and nodded. He couldn't muster words and just stood frozen looking into green eyes that seemed to plead with his own. Axel smiled a real, honest smile and turned to keep walking. Roxas exhaled and followed his elder out of the building. They both stopped abruptly under the awning over the doors. Rain was coming down heavily and small rivers were running rapidly through the parking lot.

"Well this was unexpected." Axel mumbled. He looked to the blonde who seemed to be having an episode next to him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Roxas ran his hands through his hair and scanned the parking lot. Only a few cars remained and none of them were Riku's. "Practice was canceled? When the hell did it start raining?"

"You ok?" Axel raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, I just have to walk home in a torrential downpour, but I'll be just fine."

"Want a ride?"

"Hey Sora. Where's Roxas?" Riku sounded a little disappointed but not surprised. Sora was splayed out on his bed, music playing from his old CD player on his dresser. Sora looked up at him and shrugged but Riku stayed in the doorway. Sora eventually sighed and sat up, gesturing for Riku to come in.

The tall teen closed the door behind him and shuffled over to the bed. There had been this nagging emptiness in his life and his absent lover wasn't helping. He was so lonely and his only companion had been the blow he kept in his pocket at all times. It was beginning to get out of hand. He found himself excusing himself to the restroom in every single one of his classes and he was starting to lose some weight. He spent hours awake at night, sometimes not sleeping at all for days and everything was blurring into one hazy memory. Roxas stopped texting him and meeting him in the hallways, and when he would spot his young blonde he was brushed off.

It was getting easier to ignore the obvious; Roxas just wasn't interested. But why was there such a sudden change? Riku would pace and think and try to figure out where all this started. Was it because someone had jumped him at that party? Roxas never told him what actually happened; instead he would change the subject or just ignore any questions. Could there be someone else? Sure, Roxas had plenty of time to have someone else since he stopped watching soccer practices and games. He didn't even try to go out to any of the twin's parties.

Riku sat on the bed with a sigh. Sora stayed quiet for a moment, just looking Riku over with curious eyes. "Riku, you're shaking." Riku held his hands up in front of his face and let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head at his trembling hands.

"I'm a mess." He said, but Sora shook his head and chuckled.

"Nah just strung out. It happens; I've seen it a lot." Deep cobalt peered into aqua and Riku's face grew cold.

"I'm not strung out. I'm just worried about Roxas." Sora chuckled bitterly and Riku glared at him.

"Your nose is bleeding. Don't tell me you're not strung out." Riku moved a trembling hand to his nose and felt the sticky blood trickling down his lip. He uttered a curse and moved to wipe the blood off of his face. "But Roxas is lucky to have you anyway." Sora reached over the bed and grabbed the towel he used this morning that was still left on the floor. He offered it to the silver haired teen on his bed who was trying not to bleed all over the light blue comforter on the bed beneath them. It never made sense to Sora why everyone always used such light colors in guest bedrooms. He'd been in plenty of guest bedrooms in his life and he's seen just how many accidents happen on the easily stained bedding.

"Ok, so maybe I'm a little strung out, but it's just 'cause I'm so worried about Roxas. He..." Riku gave the brunette a sideways glance, still holding the towel to his nose, "He doesn't talk to me anymore."

"Really? You two always seem so close though." Sora was picking at the threads from a rip on his jeans. Sora wasn't dressed as he usually was, this time there were rips and tears down the entire front side of his right pant leg. He wore a tank top with an emblem Riku didn't recognize on its side. Something about the teen seemed off to Riku, but he didn't know what. "Guess nothing is perfect here either." Sora released a short, bitter laugh.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Riku raised an eyebrow at the brunette who shook his head.

"It's just funny. Fucking hilarious actually. People thought it'd be better for me to come here and leave my old life behind, but my old life at least made sense." Riku gave him a hard look before pulling the towel away from his face.

"Well, you're life couldn't have been that great if you ended up here." Sora chuckled at that comment.

"My life was perfect. There was always something to do. Or someone." The blue eyed teen smiled broadly, continuing to pick at some loose threads in his pants. Riku knew the look to be one of revisited memories and let him stroll down memory lane for a few minutes. "Drugs came by easy, love came by easy, but it all passed by just as fast. There was never a pause, never a silence. It's too quiet here. No wonder Roxas seems dead here."

"As opposed to what? Roxas has never been anywhere else."

"That's what you think." Sora pushed off the bed with a sigh and went to rummage through one of his dresser drawers. Riku stared blankly at the boy, wondering what point he was trying to make. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his almost empty bag. He dipped a finger in its confines and rubbed it along his gums, sighing as he put the bag away. "He hates that, you know."

"What?"

"The heavy stuff." Sora shrugged and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his drawer. He moved to the window, opening it all the way despite the rain steadily coming down outside and sat on the sill. From his pocket he grabbed a pack of cigarettes and pulled a thin white tube from the pack and one of the cheap lighters you could find in any convenience store and lit his cigarette. He exhaled and blew the smoke out the open window.

"How would you know?" Riku's eyes narrowed in Sora's direction, his voice developing an edge. Sora just shook his head and took a long drag off of his cigarette. The room was quiet and Riku just watched Sora as the teen kept blowing smoke out of the window. Sometimes he'd even blow rings and watch them grow before the light breeze took them away.

"So," Riku walked over to the window and sat on the floor, his back to the wall. "Were you and Roxas close as kids? I know he used to live in the city when he was younger."

"Not particularly." Sora looked at the ash growing on the end of his cigarette before flicking the excess out the window. "Only when we were very young." To this Riku nodded and a quiet fell over the two again. "Roxas and Elena moved out here pretty fast. Right after they took my dad away." Sora looked bitter and threw the rest of his cigarette out of the window. He got up from the sill and walked over to his dresser. Riku couldn't see what the small teen was doing, but watched him nonetheless. Sora was a mystery to him; Roxas had only told a few stories, most of which were bits and pieces of memories. He knew something had happened and Sora's father was no longer in the picture, but he didn't know details, and he was pretty sure Roxas didn't either.

"I thought your dad left? At least that's how Roxas made it sound." Sora froze and turned slowly to face Riku. His face was cold and angry, his eyes held hurt.

"My dad wouldn't leave me. They took him and left me with my whore mother to fend for myself." Riku's mouth dropped and his eyes were wide with shock.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"How could you? You know nothing about me and my past." Sora seemed to have found what he was looking for and Riku was surprised at how quickly he had switched his emotions. A second ago the little brunette was angry and almost hurt, and now he was light and airy like he usually was. He sat next to Riku under the window, crossed his legs, and placed a small metal box on his lap. Riku watched on with mild curiosity as Sora opened the box and pulled out a narrow tube and a two dollar bill. "Want some?"

"Depends," Riku raised an eyebrow and licked at his lips. "What is it?"

"Just some perc tens. Nothing serious." Sora shrugged and opened his tube and poured a few little white pills into his hand. "I'm trying not to use up all of my ex just yet. I don't get to see my dealer too much anymore so what I got has to last." Sora rummaged in his little box again, mentally counting up a few things before closing it again. He wiped off the top of the box and put two of the pills onto its smooth surface. He covered them with the bill and pulled his pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and removed the lighter before returning the pack to his pocket. "Thank god Elena is never home." Sora murmured before slamming the flat bottom of the lighter onto Jefferson's face. There was a crushing sound and Sora kept tapping the lighter onto the former president's face. He slowly picked the bill up and smiled at his work before using the edge of the bill to form five neat, even lines.

"You're just full of tricks aren't you?" Riku chuckled and shook his head at the scene playing out in front of him. "Why couldn't you just find a new dealer out here? I could hook you up with my guy."

"Nah, I've been going to the same guy since before I started doing drugs." Riku gave him a sideways glance silently asking him to continue. "The only good thing my mother ever did for me was introduce me to Marluxia. Once I was old enough to go out alone she started sending me out get her fix." Sora chuckled and tipped his head down to the box with his money now rolled up. Riku stared at him not sure if he heard what the boy had said correctly.

"Your mom actually sent you to buy drugs?" Sora was on his second line and had to tilt his head back before looking to Riku. His smile was unsettling to the silver haired teen.

"Well, it was an accident." Sora swallowed and Riku knew it was to get the drip down. The brunette leveled his head again and gave it a slight shake. "You see, she had set up an appointment to do a pick up and couldn't get a sitter for me. So that day, we went to the store, then the post office, then to her "friends" house." Sora used the air quotes and rolled his eyes. "She'd leave me in his living room in front of the TV while she went with him into the other room to get her shit. That's how it went for a few years." Sora did another one of his lines before continuing. "I think I was like fourteen, maybe thirteen, when she sent me to get her shit the first time. She didn't say what I was getting; just that her friend had something for her but she couldn't go herself. She gave me an envelope and told me it was for him and sent me away. I already knew what was going on of course, but she had no idea and from then on it just went that way." Sora finished his last two lines and wiped the surface clean of any residue.

"So how'd you get started?" Riku asked after a moment's silence.

"Different story for a different day." Sora was far away already. "So what has you worried about Roxas?"

Riku stared off for a moment. He had totally forgotten the original reason for talking to the brunette. "I just feel like he's avoiding me." He put his head in his hands and pulled at his hair. "I can't help but feel like I'm losing him."

"Maybe you are." Sora relaxed into the wall, his head tilting back and his eyes closing. Riku gaped in disbelief. He didn't expect such a heartless response. "It's not the worst thing that could happen, you know."

"But it is. You don't know what it's like to feel like you're losing the only person in the world that loves you." Riku was angry and was on the brink of shouting. Sora just smiled his blank smile. Whatever it was he just snorted had already hit him full force and you could plainly see it in how robotic he was. Whatever was there opening up to the silver haired teen just minutes ago was gone and replaced by this empty shell of a boy.

"Of course I don't."