"The Wrong Sort of Girl"

By: the archduke

Mrs. Benson was not worried. She knew how teenage boys were, how they gravitated towards the wrong sort of girl when young. She had thought that her Freddie wouldn't succumb to his hormones, but it seemed that nature overrode any greater sense at the age of seventeen. So when Mrs. Benson caught her son and Sam against the wall in the hallway around the corner from apartment 8-D, their mouths busy but not talking, she did not yell or scream or faint. She knew that seventeen year old boys went for the wrong sort of girl, and if Sam wasn't the wrong sort of girl, Mrs. Benson didn't know who was.

Mrs. Benson was not worried. She was sure that throughout modern history, thousands, maybe millions, of high school sweethearts had attempted to stay together while in college. She was also sure that the vast majority of them had failed. So it only made sense that the chances of her Freddie staying with Sam (who no one could call a sweetheart) after high school graduation were low. Freddie would go to college and have his world expanded beyond two girls and a webshow. He would see that life was a buffet, where satisfaction came only after sampling as much as was offered.

Mrs. Benson was not too worried. Except that college admissions standards had gotten shockingly lax. It seemed that horrible grades and behavior did not outweigh the prestige of co-starring on a webshow that received over a million viewers per week. Spencer said that Sam had pulled a 'Zack Morris.' Mrs. Benson did not know what this meant. Sam was going to college.

Mrs. Benson was getting a bit worried now. Her Freddie was in college, only two hours away, so everything should have been wonderful. But Sam and Carly were with him, the bonds of friendship stronger than she had anticipated. Freddie was in the dorms, where a young college man should be, but Sam and Carly had gotten an off-campus apartment together. Mrs. Benson did not think that was proper for two young girls out on their own in the world for the first time, but Spencer wouldn't listen to reason and Sam's mother had gone to Los Angeles to find fame and fortune as soon as Sam had turned eighteen. At times Mrs. Benson thought she was the only adult (at least with any sense).

Mrs. Benson was worried. Sometimes the three of them would come back home for a weekend, to do laundry and raid the kitchen. Sometimes only Freddie and Carly would come down, or sometimes it would be Carly and Sam. But sometimes it was only Carly, and she would tell Mrs. Benson that Freddie and Sam had to stay back to study. Carly had always been a horrible liar.

Mrs. Benson was very worried. With his fresh new degree in hand, Freddie announced that he and Sam were moving in together. It made sense since Carly was spending the next year abroad and he and Sam spent so much time together, and anyway, they were moving back to Seattle so he'd be close by again. Later, Sam pulled Mrs. Benson aside and told her that she would be welcome to visit them at any time. Mrs. Benson thought this was very grown up of Sam. And then Sam said, with pursed lips that tried to hide a smile, that Mrs. Benson should make sure to call ahead of time if she didn't want to get an eyeful. This was punctuated with a lascivious raise of her eyebrows and a wink. Mrs. Benson knew that Sam would never grow up.

Mrs. Benson was resigned. The airline tickets had been delivered by courier, one each for herself, Spencer and Carly, who had just returned from her year abroad. Sam's mother had driven herself, since she was only a few hours away. They were all in a little white house and the music was playing and Freddie looked so grown up and Carly burst into happy tears when Spencer appeared with Sam on his elbow. And as Sam and Freddie declared their hunka-hunka burnin' love for each other in front of their family, friends, and Elvis, Mrs. Benson realized something.

Mrs. Benson had always thought of Sam as the wrong sort of girl. But if her Freddie loved her, then Sam could only be the right sort of girl.

Author's Note: Pulling a 'Zack Morris' is a reference to Saved by the Bell. Slacker Zack scored high on his SATs and got into an Ivy League school while also having horrible grades. But then SBtB: The New Class happened and bye bye Ivy League.

AN2: I am way too old to be watching ICarly, but it's hilarious!