I'm a Doctor Who fangirl. I'm absolutely unabashed in saying that. And, the truth is, even though Rose is a bit of a chavvy Sue, I like her. Not as much as Martha or Jack, because they're the most amazing companions ever. I want to steal Jack's coat. I'd very much like that coat. I randomly quote Doctor Who around my friends that have never watched it. A few of my friends adore the show too, so they get the quotes, which isn't that fun. My favourite quote is "you know, you can fix that Chameleon Circuit if you just try hotwiring the fragment links and superseding the binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary (gasp)" even if Donna isn't my favourite companion. Also, when anyone says Captain Jack, my mind immediately goes to Captain Jack Harkness. Because he's amazing. I mean, yeah, Jack Sparrow's amazing, but Harkness is fantabulous and beats him. So, yeah, I've gotten confused in many Pirates of the Caribbean conversations.

I'm also a Harry Potter fanatic. Neville PWNs and Umbridge is epic fail. I called Umbridge having the locket, Regulus being R.A.B, Dobby dying, Remus dying, Tonks dying, Neville becoming a professor in the epilogue, and the Ministry falling. And I've decided that I have a Time Lord Patronus, which must look very awkward. I'd also definitely be a SLytherclaw. Well, Hogwarts is Home says I'm a Gryffindor, but when asked, none of my friends have said that. They've all either said Ravenclaw or Slytherin, and I have a score sheet, I use it to record people's votes and Sorting quiz scores, and right now, Ravenclaw's in the lead by two points. Slytherin's next, and Gryffindor's got ten less than those two, and Hufflepuff only has two.

And I adore The Chronicles of Narnia. My seventh grade year was utter hell because of my… well, it really was an obsession… with it. Oh, seriously. They thought that I thought that I could get into Narnia. Even if I believed in it (I didn't and still don't rule out the possibility of worlds-between-worlds, but Narnia itself was allegorical and therefore more than likely doesn't exist and has never existed). Edmund's my favourite, because he's amazing, and Lucy's awesome, too. I loved book Caspian, because he was epicness, and book Peter as well, but movie!Caspian and movie!Peter are failure. I love movie!Edmund almost as much as I love book!Edmund. Skandar Keynes is amazing. But I heard somewhere (several somewheres, actually) that he might be in New Moon.

I spazzed. I love Skandar. But Twilight!?!?! That's epic FAILURE. I hate Twlight with the most burning passion I've ever mustered for anything fictional. Bella Swan is higher on my "Fictional Characters That Need a Very Painful, Torturing, Emotionally Breaking, Most Awful Thing You Can Imagine Death" list than Bella Lestrange. Bella Swan is more evil, awful, and deserves to die more than BELLATRIX LESTRANGE. And Bellatrix tortured Neville's Parents! And I love Neville! So, yes. I hate Bella that much. She's little miss ultimate needs-to-die Mary Sue. And Edward is the freaking KING of Gary Stus. The only tolerable characters are Jasper and… yeah, just Jasper. No, I like Rosalie. She hated Bella. I like people that hate Bella. But Twilight vampires aren't even vampires. They don't have fangs, they don't drink human blood (ew), they're pretty much made of stone, they're ATTRACTIVE, and… THEY FREAKING SPARKLE!

I'm going to say this many, many, many times, but, still: VAMPIRES DO NOT FREAKING SPARKLE!

Now, you're probably leaving this story, or plotting some flame, and I really don't care. Actually, a flame would tell me that I'm doing my job properly.

Twilight is the worst excuse for literature that I've ever read. And yes, I have read Twilight. I hated (ZOMG!!) Twilight. I bought the books, for five dollars for all four. Guess where they currently are in my bookshelf? Between the Spine Chilling Book of Horror and The Most Notorious Crimes in American History. Why? Because it's got to be a crime to write something that bad. And the books are horrific. Because… something that badly written, with characters like THAT…? I've read many, many books. I've over one hundred, and I'm a regular at my local library. I'd rather go to a bookstore than most other places in the mall (Starbucks and Hot Topic excluded… unless Hot Topic is crowded with Twilight crap). I read a lot. Twilight is utter garbage, and I wanted to kill my poor brain (and Bella Swan) after reading the first book. I only got two hundred pages into the second. And, yes, I had read them before. The first three. They were still badly written, what was it? Two years ago? Had to have been.

I hate Twilight.

Edward Cullen is an idiot. He said that vegetarians crave meat. What does he know? He's never been a real vegetarian, I am a real vegetarian. I've been for four years, and haven't craved meat for three years and ten months, thank you, Mister Cullen. The mere mention, sight, or smell of meat makes me want to vomit, because it's decaying animal flesh. I could go on several tirades about that, but I won't. Because the point I had to make (Edward being an idiot) has already been made. Plus, Robert Pattinson was way better looking as Cedric. Before he sparkled like some freak. (Oh, yeah, and he actually HATES Edward.)

And now almost every hardcore Twilight fan who started this really has left or is flaming this instant. And that makes me pleased.

I'd laugh if Bella Swan fell on her face in front of me. Then I'd kick her.

I am just about as anti-Twilight as anyone can get, and no one gets me started on Twilight if they can help it.

You lot probably think that I'm kidding, or exaggerating. No. I'm not. I really, honestly hate those books.

So this didn't help me much at all.