Want

I want to break these rules.

Your hands are cold and warm at the same time. I think they have always been like that. You could break me and save me in a single grasp.
And how you do, Xena... How well you do that now.

I want to turn back time.

You stop me with more than your voice. It is the inevitability in your eyes that makes me pause. It is that hidden knowledge, that bit of wisdom you forgot to share with me... How clear it is now.

I want to not care. I want to run.

And I won't find your smile in these ashes, no matter the vows you make. You will slip away with the sun as if you were a dream. And I won't be able to find you... How will I ever find you now?

I want to scream. I want to fight. I want to fall apart.

You stop me. All the times you kept me from dying... and now, in these haunted mountains... you let me go.
You let me go, Xena.
And if I could pound your chest, if I could dive down into the fire, if I could follow you to the other side...

I want to break these rules. I want to turn back time. I want to not care and to run and to scream and to fight and fall apart... I want you to hold on forever. Don't let me go. Not this time. Please, don't let me go...

And you stop me. And I allow it.
And you let me go.
Our faces reflected in this pool of water and I see the mirage of all that I love by my side, for the last time.
You let me go.

And I want... and I want... and I want...

END