Yeah... I don't know where the idea for this one came from... But the bunny attacked me and I had to write this... or else (the bunny is evil...)

So the basic premise is that Ed is giving a report to Mustang and he has to pee... really bad. Again, this idea was an odd one. It came from somewhere in the depths of my mind (scary...) Parental EdRoy... maybe regular EdRoy if you really squint at it, but honestly, I think Ed is too young for that in this story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

"Brother…" the voice grew louder and more insistent. "Ed…wake up! You're going to be late!"

Ed groaned and pulled a pillow over his head. "Come on brother…" Al sighed, pulling the blanket off of Ed.

"Hey… give it back…" Ed whined sitting up and glaring at Al.

"No, you have a report to turn in, and Hawkeye already called to tell you to get it in," Al said firmly.

"Ugh," Ed grumbled and started getting dressed. "So I'm what? Ten minutes late with the report… That bastard can go a little longer without it."

"Umm… brother, you were supposed to be in an hour ago…" Al stammered.

"What?! Why didn't you wake me?!"

"I've been trying to for the past hour and a half! You just swore at me and went back to sleep!"

Ed hastily pulled his boots and red jacket on, and ran out of the dorm.

"Ed wait!" Al yelled, picking up some papers and running after him.

"Al, I don't have time," Ed said in annoyance as he stopped and faced his brother.

"Don't forget your report," Al handed the papers to Ed.

"Oh thanks Al," Ed replied before turning and taking off again. "I'll be back later," he called back to Al.

"About time you got here, Edward," Hawkeye commented as Ed ran into the office. "The colonel's waiting for you… and he's not very happy…"

Ed nodded and went into Mustang's office. "Any reason you're late?" Mustang asked as Ed walked in.

"Sorry sir…" Ed stammered, putting the report on Mustang's desk. "I overslept…"

"That's no excuse," Mustang replied. "Now sit down." He started trying to decipher the chicken scratch that was Ed's handwriting.

The moment Ed sat down he became painfully aware of something. He had forgotten to use the bathroom that morning and now his bladder was protesting… a lot. Ed groaned softly under his breath and hoped that Mustang wouldn't take too long with reading his report.

Mustang sighed, still trying to decipher Ed's handwriting. "You could at least make these legible, Fullmetal," he said.

Ed shrugged, too preoccupied with his need to use the bathroom to come up with a reply.

Mustang looked up, surprised at Ed's lack of a reply. "You alright, Fullmetal?" Ed simply nodded in response and Mustang looked back at the report, contemplating Ed's odd behavior more than he was actually reading the report.

Ed started kicking his heels against the couch, trying to distract himself from his now quite urgent need to use the bathroom. Mustang looked up from the report. "Can't you sit still?"

Ed shrugged again and stopped kicking, only to start again a few moments later. Mustang sighed. He knew that Edward was the type of person who fidgeted a lot, but this was a lot more than he usually did. He looked up at Ed and noticed that the boy seemed to be… squirming? That was the best word to describe what he was doing. He shrugged and decided it was just childish impatience. After all, could he really expect a 12 year-old boy to sit still?

Ed watched Mustang and once he was sure that he was occupied with reading the report, Ed started holding himself and squirming a bit more.

Mustang glanced up at Ed over the paper. If he didn't know better, he could've sworn that squirming boy sitting in front of him needed to go to the bathroom, quite badly from the looks of things. "Are you sure nothing is wrong?" he asked.

Ed blushed a bit as he pulled his hands away from his crotch and nodded. There was no way he'd admit to Mustang that he had to go to the bathroom. Besides, he could hold it… right?

Mustang looked back at Ed a few moments later and saw that he was holding himself again. "Edward… do you need to go to the bathroom?"

"No," Ed replied stubbornly, but he didn't pull his hands away this time. Ed had the feeling that if he let go he would have an accident.

"Hmm… you sure look like you do," Mustang commented. Ed blushed and growled slightly under his breath. "Relax…" Mustang said. He couldn't resist teasing the boy a little. "Just think of something else to take your mind off of it… like a nice peaceful river… with a little waterfall… and the sound of the water rushing by…"

Ed whined and held himself tighter, crossing his legs and squirming much more. He had to go so bad that it looked like he was in pain. "Stop…" he whimpered.

"Why?" Mustang asked simply. "Thinking about the sound of water is supposed to be relaxing…"

"B-because I really do have to pee you bastard!" Ed snapped, squirming uncontrollably now. "Really bad…" he added, his face turning red in embarrassment. He got up and started to run out of the room. He had barely taken a step before he lost control completely. "Noo…" Ed whined, unable to stop himself from peeing. His face turned even redder and he stared at the ground, way too embarrassed to look at Mustang. He shook a little and started crying softly over the whole incident.

Mustang looked a little startled for a moment, then he sighed and walked towards Ed. "It's okay," he said softly, placing a hand on Ed's shoulder. "No need to cry… It's my fault anyway," he added. "I didn't realize how bad you needed to go and I teased you."

Ed looked up, startled by the sudden change in his commanding officer. Then he looked down again, still really embarrassed. "I… I was running so late I forgot to go before I left the dorms this morning…" he said barely audibly.

"It's alright," Mustang repeated, using a gentle tone that he didn't even know he had. "I'll find you some clean clothes to change into. Just stay in here…" He started to leave the room.

"Colonel?" Ed called and the man turned. "C-could you not tell anyone about this?"

Mustang nodded. "I won't tell a single soul," he promised, and for some reason Ed could not explain, he trusted his word. Mustang came back a few minutes later with some spare clothing and a towel. "Why don't you clean up and change clothes," he suggested. "There's a closet back there if you don't want to change in front of me."

Ed nodded and went into the closet to change. He came back out a few minutes later. "Umm… what should I do with the dirty clothes…?"

"Here," Mustang tossed a bag at him. "Put them in there and you can wash them up when you get back to the dorms." Ed put his clothes in the bag, and there was a rather awkward silence. "On the bright side," Mustang said, trying to break the silence, "you probably feel better."

Ed shrugged and looked down, still incredibly embarrassed about the whole thing.

"Hey…" Mustang said. "Everyone has accidents like that sometimes…"

"I'm too old to be peeing my pants…" Ed muttered.

Mustang sighed. "Shortly after I got out of basic training, I was giving a report to my commanding officer… and I peed my pants in front of him. Except, he wasn't nice about it," Mustang smiled slightly at the surprised look on Ed's face. "He took me out to a group of new recruits and embarrassed me in front of them… I was 19 at the time, and even now I still get teased about that sometimes."

"What a jerk…" Ed commented.

Mustang chuckled a bit. "I got back at him… For some reason he never figured out who burned 'Colonel Asshole' into the wall of his office, but the name stuck and a lot of people called him that behind his back." He looked back at Ed who was laughing a little. "My point is that you're never too old to have an accident like that. It's nothing to be embarrassed about… and it could have been worse."

Ed smiled at Mustang. "Colonel?" he said softly.

"Yes, Fullmetal?"

"Thanks… for not being an asshole about it."

Yes, I do realize that they were OOC, but Ed was extremely embarrassed and Mustang knew what it was like for that to happen. So no flames on the OOCness please... Otherwise feel free to review :D Oh, and if you're interested in a more detailed account of what happened to Mustang, then read "Roy's Accident," which is my sequal, but really a prequal, to this.