CHAPTER 8
The good Girl

……………

One month later

…………………

'So long sweet Sakura….' he thought to himself. It was difficult to believe that there was a time in his life when he knew where he was going. Now, he was a lost soul in his disposition behind the bar table. Nothing ever prepares you for loss. As tears framed the corner of his eye, he felt a pat on his back.

'Do you plan to drink your life away?' Eriol asked him apprehensively.

He nodded his eyes fixed on the display behind the bartender. 'What do I do now Eriol? Sakura is no longer in my life, Meiling won't sign the divorce papers and…I'm alone.'

'Being alone is not the end of the world. I'm always alone.'

'And are you happy.'

'It doesn't matter.' Eriol's voice seemed to drag at the conclusion of the sentence.

'It does…once you've had a taste of happiness.'

-Flashback-

'Just sign it…Meiling please.'

She shrugged 'No, I don't care that you cheated on me. I still think we can make our marriage work. Syaoran you and I are compatible, why are you trying to fight it?'

'I don't love you.' He had told her this so many times that the phrase itself became cliché.

She swallowed hard as her eyes settled on him. His hands were clasped on the table and he said nothing. Her eyebrows descended 'I can live with that.'

'I don't know what else to tell you.'

'Tell me why you don't love me, what makes her so much better than I? She's pretty, but her beauty is that of a little girl not a woman. Is she better than me in bed? Is that what you want Syaoran, more sex?' she asked him desperately.

'It has nothing to do with that.' he could not keep his eyebrow from twitching.

'Are you sure, please tell me why you won't love me?'

'You don't make me feel the way she does, when I look at Sakura I feel a mixture of emotions that I can't really explain. I feel happy when I'm around her, so happy it scares that I'll lose her. Now my worst fears have come to life.'

Meiling watched him attentively.

'I miss her every day; I miss her voice and the way she looks at me. The way she curls her hair around her finger, the way her hands always find mine. The way she holds me in her arms…the way she kisses me.' Syaoran spoke as though Meiling was not present.

'Alright, whatever. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be with them.'

Syaoran sat back and chuckled 'You sure are persistent. Why don't you just sign the damn documents so that we can move on with the rest of our lives and I never have to see you again.' he could not help but distaste her. He was running out of kind words for her.

'Forget it. You can keep your papers you asshole, I'm not signing them.'

Syaoran was silent. He did not know what else he could possibly tell this woman.

'Maybe you don't love her as much as you think you do. If you id you'd be with her. You wouldn't be here with me having coffee.'

'I had to let her go because she was still too young and…'

'You mean too immature.'

Syaoran sighed 'You know what, I don't owe you an explanation.

-End of Flashback-

'Why don't you just go home, Hong Kong, your family is waiting for you. Why are you wasting time here, it's been a month since you and Sakura broke up.'

'We never broke up.' he said in a bitter tone.

'Fine fine whatever you say…' Eriol said sitting next to him.

'Maybe you're right. I might as well.' he stared comprehensively at the long class holding his beer.

He stood up and slipped his hands into the pocket of his jacket. 'Listen, I'm calling it a night.' he patted Eriol's shoulder.

'Are you walking back to your apartment? Eriol asked assuming that Syaoran knew well enough of the dangers of drinking while under the influence of alcohol.

He nodded and beamed 'of course.' the statement held no profundity nor meaning, his true intentions were to go Sakura's house and check up on her. He was only going to see her, nothing more. His presence would not stir up any feelings of regret, he told himself apprehensively.

He took a cab to the house; slowly he walked out looking up at her bedroom window. A smile mopped away the lines of stress that had been on his face all month. He closed the door and looked up once more. It was not the drop in the temperature that suddenly caused his bones to run cold, it was more the feeling of fear and anticipation.

He paid the taxi driver and ambled to her front door. He took a deep breath; he wished he bought her flowers or maybe perfume. He prayed that the smell of alcohol on him was not too strong. He rang the door bell, stood straight and cleared his throat.

The door opened but it was not his sweet Sakura, instead it was her father. Surprised, he took a step back 'Hello.' he nervously smiled.

'Good evening Syaoran.'

'Is Sakura in?' he sounded like a teenage boy in need of the girl he is infatuated with.

The man shook his head 'She won't be in for the next two months, she's in boarding school?'

His heart felt like it was sinking at the bottom of the ocean, how could she not be here?

'Why don't you call her?' Fujitaka suggested surprising Syaoran.
Syaoran shook his head, he couldn't possibly call her, he promised to let her go. This was a stupid idea to begin with. He assumed that Fujitaka sent her away for being his lover.

'Would you like me to give her a message?'

Syaoran shook his head once more, this time he managed a half smile 'No, that won't be necessary. In fact, please don't tell her I dropped by…which boarding school?'

'St Mary's'

Syaoran's jaw dropped 'You sent her to that school?'

'No, she asked me. She wanted to go there. She didn't like tomeodea because it reminded her of you. She was unhappy.'

'Oh.'

Fujitaka nodded 'Good night then.'

His heart was beating in his throat he walked up to the middle of the road where he stood still and pondered. Eriol was right. Sakura was moving on, he might as well…for now.

………………

2 MONTHS Later

…………..

'Sometimes it feels like he has abandoned me.' Sakura thought looking out the window while the Biology teacher went on about something she should have been paying attention to. The girls of St. Mary's were kind and welcomed her. She liked it there but she could not force herself to be content. Every day she thought about her lover.

After bell rang she was accompanied by one of the younger girls back to her dorm. They walked in the corridors and had casual chit chat about the food in the cafeteria.

'You got a letter the other day.' The girl, Sayu told Sakura briskly.

'A letter?'

The girl nodded.

'That can't be true, nobody writes me letters, not even my father, he prefers to call.'

'But a letter is romantic.' The young lady spoke, 'It says that he thinks about you so much that he writes a letter and posts it.'

Sakura chuckled 'You're far too young for boys. Even if I have a letter, what makes you think that it is from a boy?'

'Because yours is.'

Confused, Sakura stopped walking and looked at Sayu 'Whose it from?' Her tone was more serious.

'A guys called….Sa…ya….ra'

Sakura's eyebrows shot up 'Are you serious! Who has the letter?'

'One of your roommates took it; it's been in the post box for two weeks now.' Sakura started to run 'I'll see you later' she said. She ran through the stretched corridors not daring to stop for anyone. 'How did he find me?' She thought wanting to cry. If this were to be true she would be crying because of happiness. Her heart would not be able to contain it. And if it were not she would be crying because of her inability to let go and move on.

She could hear the nuns calling out her name and telling her to slow down but she could not even if she wanted to.

She opened the door to her dorm room. She shared the room with two other girls, Chantel and Yuki. Unable to catch her breath, she found the two girls sitting on Chantels bed reading what appeared to be a letter.

'Is that mine!' she sounded rude and impatient.

The girls were looking at her, without saying anything they handed her the letter. Sakura gripped it from Chantel's hands and put it in the pocket of her green skirt. 'Thank you.' She finally smiled.

'You're not mad?' the younger one, Yuki asked.

'Why would I be mad?' Sakura looked at both of the girls then left the room. She could hear one of the girls whispering 'I told that she is not a virgin.'

She walked out to the court yard and sat under a tree. She felt that no one would be able to spot her, or interrupt her. She tucked her hair behind her ear and opened the letter. She covered her mouth, now certain it was him. She could never forget his handwriting.

My Dear Sakura,

Thinking about you is keeping me sane right now. It feels like forever since I last saw your angelic face. I miss the feel of your hands and those beautiful eyes. I want to see you in the worst possible way. I can't see how I was ever able to live without you in my life. I want to hold you and kiss you. I fear that you resent me for letting you go and at times it does not make sense why we are not together. I want everyone to see what a special and wonderful person you are. A part of me wanted to keep you locked in the box of my heart. I wanted to keep you close, savor you and cherish you for the diamond you are; I love you with every bit of me. Please, wait for me. You are always in my heart. I hope you are happy at your new school.

Love Syaoran.

Sakura tired not to shed any tears. She held the letter to her heart and muttered 'I'll wait, even if its forever. But how did you find me, must be that you are checking up on me.' She smiled and tears came streaming down her eyes. It was amazing that one letter alone brought such happiness and she forgot that she was far from home and she was alone.

'Is he your boyfriend?' Yuki asked appearing out of nowhere.

Sakura nodded the sniffled.

Yuki sat next to Sakura 'He sounds like he really loves you.'

'He does.' Sakura was able to speak clearly.

'How long have you been apart?'

Sakura looked at Yuki '2 months.'

'It must be difficult to be in a long distant relationship. Aren't you worried that you will grow apart.'

Sakura smiled 'No…not anymore.'

……………………..

For the next two years, Syaoran sent Sakura a letter every month. He made sure he told her everything. Sometimes his letter made her cry and other times she would laugh so hard. Every 2nd week of the month, she would wait for the post man. They became her addiction. She kept them safely locked away and had read all of them more than three times. Of course she replied to every letter.

She sent him pictures and the poems she wrote. Anything she thought would delight him.

She graduated top of her class and was selected to study law at Tokyo University. On graduation night, after returning home, Tomoyo took her out for a night of partying. She tried to enjoy herself but she could not shake the fact that Syaoran did not send her any letters that month. No matter where she went his letters always found her, even when she went on vacation with Tomoyo's family to the Bahamas.

'I checked everywhere. I asked the postman. Why? Has he forgotten about me?' she asked Tomoyo on their way back home.

'It's just one letter Sakura; it's not the end of the world.'

'It might as well be.' She sulked.

'Will you quit doing that? Listen, we are eighteen, free and no longer in high school, must you ruin our attempt to have the time of your lives.'

Sakura rolled her eyes then took a deep breath.

'I know you love him.' Tomoyo her friend said as they came closer to her house 'but does that mean you should block all other men from your life. You haven't been with anyone since he left. You can't wait forever.'

'I can.' Sakura said jokingly.

'I can't believe you.' Tomoyo was ready to give up 'Haven't you tortured yourself enough?'

It did not look like Sakura was listening. Tomoyo hit her thumbs on the steering wheel rhythmically. 'You can have any man you want, everyone has forgotten about the scandal. Many people look up to you Sakura instead you waste your time on a teenage crush.'

Sakura said nothing but looked up at the road. She was tired of having to explain it all to Tomoyo. When you fall in love, you just don't let it go, you hold unto it until you can't anymore.' She pulled her seat back and looked up at the roof of the car 'I wonder how he looks like, I'm sure he's even more handsome…I wish he was here…I wish I could hold him…' she closed her eyes 'If I could just see him I'd say…'her train of thought was interrupted by sound of Tomoyo pulling the car on the side of the road.

Sakura sat up. She stuck her head out the window and noticed that there was a car parked in front of her house. 'I thought Dad said he's leaving town. This isn't his car' she said walking out. Her feet were bare when they met the asphalt. She shuddered then walked to the back seat of the car to get her handbag.

'That's one fancy car.' Tomoyo commented looking at the mustang.

'I wonder where my father is?' she started her way to the door 'I'll be right back.'

She found that the front door was open. She slowly walked in 'Dad…' she said moving into the living room 'Dad.' she shouted louder.

She walked into the dining room. Before she could move any further, something caught her eye. It was the shadow on a man stretched across the pavement. The lights in the garden twinkled like stars.

He was wearing a black suit and staring at the swimming pool. He had his hands in his pocket as the wind blew his hair. Sakura ducked and held her mouth to her hand 'is this some kind of robbery?' She thought to herself. She crawled on the floor to the kitchen where she found a baseball bat behind the door. She wondered if they were more…why the door was open. She swallowed hard as beads of sweat tumbled all the way to the tip of her nose.

She crept outside not making a sound until she was right behind him. 'Don't move.' she muttered in a stern tone.

'Put your hands up.' She ordered.

The man did as she asked, slowly he raised his hands. Then suddenly he chuckled.

'What's so funny?' she asked nervously 'I have a gun and I'm not afraid to use It.' she told him trying to sound confident. What was she thinking, did she really believe that she could take this guy down. What would she do if he was to turn around?

He reminded her of Syaoran, if her memory served her right, Syaoran was just about the same height and his hair was as disheveled as Syaoran's hair was but it couldn't be.

'Who are you?'

He chuckled 'You have a gun? Since when is a gun equivalent to a bat?'

'Since I…' Sakura paused. Her mouth was slightly open and she was lost for words. The bat slipped right out of her hands and landed on the long grass. She stood still for awhile.

'Are you still there or would you prefer it if I kneel and put my hands behind my back?'

Tears came into her eyes. She slid her hands around his torso and leaned her head on his back 'You idiot' she muttered.

She wiped her tears on his suit, it was really him, and his scent confirmed it. She held him closer 'You're late.' Her hands slowly released him and he turned around to look at her.

He smiled at her holding her face in his hands. He could not trust what he was seeing. 'Look at you, you're even more beautiful.'

Her lips trembled 'What took you so long to come back?' she never found the nerve to confront him about this in her letters to him.

'The time wasn't right yet. There is not a day I did not think about you.' he told her 'Please understand.'

She tightened her fingers into a fist and hit his chest 'you jerk!' tears gushed from her eyes, she wept.

He pulled her into his arms 'Sakura…I love you. I promise I'd come back and I'm here. I want to be with you.'

Sakura submitted and sank into his arms. She snaked her arms around his chest 'I love you too.'

He looked in her eyes meaningfully; he wanted to kiss her…..

'Oh there you are.' Tomoyo said when she saw the couple 'And Li.' She gasped then bowed.

Syaoran's eyebrow rose strategically 'No need to be so formal, it's not like you are my student right?'

'Oh' Tomoyo said still feel awkward. 'I better get going, I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about.' She smiled then left the room.

They ambled into the kitchen, his hand in hers. 'Why didn't you write me a letter this month?' she asked him.

'I was planning on coming; I've planning on this for a long time. I wanted to surprise you.'

'You nearly gave me a heart attack 'She said holding her hand to her heart.'

'I'm sorry.' He chuckled after that.

………………….

They spoke for hours about everything that came to mind. It was easy talking to him; it was as though they were never apart. They still found the same things funny and had a tendency of finishing each other's sentences. To Sakura, this could not be real. It felt like one of those dreams she wished she can never wake up from.

As the night commenced, she made him supper. They chatted by the table for another hour.

'It's getting late.' He said looking at his wrist watch, it was already midnight.

Sakura reached out for his hand. She wanted to remind him that he had not yet given her her kiss. Instead she looked at him seriously and said 'Stay.' She sounded firm and decided. 'My father won't be home for the next two days. 'You can spend the night….'

Her glance lingered on him then she added 'You can sleep in the guestroom.'

'In the guestroom, are you serious?' he thought to himself but nodded obediently on the outside.

'It's been a long time since anyone has slept there. I'll get you some new sheets and make the bed.'

He raised an eyebrow then tactically beamed at her. He followed her to the guestroom where she opened the closet and settled the pile of clean sheets on the armchair.

'You know, you don't have to make the bed.'

'No I insist.' Sakura said ripping the mattress naked.

As she made the bed, Syaoran watched her. He could not find the strength to hold back. He took off his tie and jacket and placed them on the armchair.

Before she could fluff the pillows, she found that his arms were around her waist. He turned her to face him and pulled her into his arms. 'Is this what you really want? Do you really want to be so far away from me tonight?'

'I…' Sakura did not know what to say but that was not what she wanted.

He pulled her in closer and she could feel his breath on her face 'Stay with me, don't go upstairs.'

They both closed their eyes and were swallowed into the depths of a long lingering kiss. Before she knew it, his hands were roaming underneath her shirt. She snaked her arms around his neck and allowed him to kiss her more.

………………

'I don't really want to do this.' Sakura muttered as she put her clothes back on. She did not intend Syaoran to hear it, but he did and he sat up. He was only able to get the glimpse of her back but he could already make-out the look on her face.

'What Sakura?'

She turned her body around 'I don't want to go to law school. Not really.'

'But you, you graduated top of your class and…' Syaoran stopped when he realized that he was sounding just like her father. He took a deep breath and kindly asked her 'what do you want Sakura?'

She leaned into him until she was able to lay her head on his chest. 'Well. First I want to be with you.'

'We can still be together; I'll go wherever you go.'

She smiled at the statement then added 'I don't want to study law, I've never really wanted to study law. My father considers it our dream but in actual fact it is his dream. It's going to take years before I finish, it doesn't matter how much I pass it, I'll never love it.' She declared 'I want to teach Syao.' She told him brushing her hands against the hair on his arms. 'it sounds ordinary, I know and there isn't a lot of money in it but it's what I want.'

Syaoran put his arms around her, he was surprised, and he didn't know what to say at first 'If it makes you happy then you must tell your father.'

'That's just it, I can't. I've disappointed him one too many times. Something has to happen for me to tell him. I'll just have to play along.'

'You can't do that.' Syaoran said his lips close to her ear 'You must let him know. I thought you said that he changed.'

'He's changed but not that much.'

'Well, do you plan on teaching high school students because that is a nightmare.'

She shook her head 'No, nursery school. I wouldn't mind studying psychology…not law.'

'Why nursery school?' He dared to bring up the question; it would only stir up a conversation about children. He did not want to talk about children. He instantly wished he could take the words back.

'I love kids, you know that. I can't wait to have my own someday.'

Syaoran half smiled, refusing to comment.

'Don't you love kids?' she said aware of how the topic made him feel. She just wanted to tease him.

'Uh…kids are a nuisance. Besides we're far too young to be thinking about that.'

Sakura sat up and playfully hit him 'How could you say that? If we had a kid, is that all you would think of him?"

'Of course I would love our kid but kids are a nuisance.'

Sakura rolled her eyes 'You're in denial; you love kids as much as I do.' It sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince him.

'My sisters are always popping new ones and guess who has to babysit?' he complained.

'So you'll make a great Dad because you have experience.'

Syaoran ran his fingers through his hair 'That doesn't mean anything. Can we not talk about this?'

Sakura nodded and thought 'Geez, why do men get all emotional when women bring up their future together-- I shouldn't have brought the topic up—he just got back, I'm just making this awkward…and in a way…I'm cursing us'

………………….

Later that morning, Syaoran got out of bed. He covered Sakura's shouldered with the sheet and kissed her cheek before progressing to the bathroom. He was now wearing his boxer shorts. He quickly washed his face and made his way downstairs.

He looked around the house, as though he did not make an accurate observation the previous night. He looked at the pictures on the wall and smiled at the image of a young Sakura. When the picture of Fujitaka appeared before him, he took a step back.

'Can I help you?' a voice startled him from behind causing him to skip a heartbeat.

He turned around and found that Sakura's father was staring right at him.

'It's you.' He said sounding unenthusiastic.

Syaoran half smiled 'Yes…good morning.' He felt awkward standing in the man's house in his boxers.

'What are you doing here?'

Syaoran turned bright red, how do you really answer that kind of question 'I came here to see Sakura.' He replied nervously.

'I figured that part out but what are you doing in my living room in your underwear.'

Syaoran scratched the back on his head 'I can't really…answer that.' He said starting his way to the exit.

'Couldn't you have waited a little longer, she's still too young. She has to go to University and I don't want you distracting her. Whenever you come around my daughter becomes a different person—you're trouble'

He shrugged 'I'm not here to take her away from you or disrupt her chances of getting a good education. I just want to be with her.' He sounded sure of himself.

'And how do you suppose you'll do that?'

'Sakura and I have been talking and….' He stopped when Sakura's voice sounded off from the foyer.

'Syao, where are you. Come back to bed.' She said in a childlike voice.

Syaoran flushed, he gulped and looked at Fujitaka, how embarrassing. He thought. This was supposed to be a whole new start from him. He did not want this man to despise him.

'Sakura, you're father is here…I'll be with you in a second.'

Syaoran walked past Sakura's father. With every step he took the man's eyes followed him.

'Is my father really here?" she asked hiding behind the door and leaving him a space to come in through.

Syaoran nodded 'I can't believe it.' He walked into the room and she closed the door. 'He knows now, he knows that we've been doing it.'

Sakura was quiet, she imagined that her father would scold her for bringing a man into the house, nonetheless her bedroom.

Syaoran bit his lower lip and sat on the edge of the bed. Sakura sat behind him and wrapped her hands around his waist. 'It doesn't matter, he's always known.' She tried to console him.

'You think he'll let you move in with me while you study.'

'I don't know and even if he doesn't, I'm an adult now, I can do as I please.'

Syaoran nodded then chuckled 'You should have seen the look on his face.'

Sakura smiled trying to imagine it.

…………………

Sakura brought Syaoran down for breakfast. Her father was sitting on a chair with a newspaper in his hands. She walked over to him and gave him a peck on the cheek 'Good morning Daddy.' She wanted to sound the same way she did when she was a little girl.

'Good morning.' He said not looking at her.

'How come you're back so early?" Sakura poured coffee into the mug that was sitting on the table.

'The conference was cancelled.' His face was still hiding behind the newspaper.

Sakura sat down and signaled Syaoran to sit next to her. Under the table she reached for his hand and started to play with his fingers.

'Do you love my daughter?' he muttered.

Syaoran looked at Sakura and smiled 'Very much.'

'Then ask her to marry you.'

Suddenly Syaoran got nervous; he looked at Sakura as though afraid that he will say the wrong answer.

'She's still young.'

Sakura could not make out his tone.

'Yeah Dad.' Sakura intervened

'If you want to stay with my daughter, you might as well marry her. You just can't keep sleeping with her.'

Sakura blushed. She looked at Syaoran, and wondered why her father was so old fashioned and why Syaoran's hands were so cold.

'What Sakura and I actually plan on doing is…well…I'm going to look for a job close to her University and she'll move in with me.'

Fujitaka folded his newspaper and looked at the couple 'Come on, be realistic here. Sakura you…you just can't…how will you study with him around.'

'He can help me Dad, right Syao, we work good together.'

She did really know how true her statement was. Her mind focused on the romantic vision she had in her head. She could imagine Syaoran waiting for her in his car as she came from lectures. They would be so happy, everything would be perfect. She reluctantly pulled herself back into the conversation.

'We know what we are doing Dad.'

'Sakura, why are so determined to grow up?'

'I am grown up.'

'When you say that you sound even more immature.' He hiss.

There was a long silence. Then finally Fujitaka ascended and said 'Let me think about it.'

…………..

It had been a month since Syaoran and Sakura had been together. She was barely home, spending most of her time at Syaoran's place. No matter what, she had to make sure that she made it home before her father got back from work or else he would not give her a reply.

'So?" she would ask him every other day while they had dinner in front of the television 'Can I move in with Syaoran?'

'Sakura, you are you, you do not understand that what you are doing is a big deal.'

'But I do, I think about it every day.' She said.

Every day he would remind her that she would be going to University soon. It was as though he was waiting for time to run out and he won't have to give her an answer.

One lazy evening, Syaoran caught Sakura sitting on a bench under a cherry blossom tree, in front of the lodge he was staying at. Puzzled to see her, he ambled slowly to her and sat next to her. 'It's late, isn't your father going to be home?'

She nodded knowingly.

He kissed her forehead and stroked her hair. He was unable to shake the unusualness this moment brought. He could feel it in her body as it quivered under his touch. He could feel her heartbeat, it beat so fast that he had to push her away and ask her.

'Is there something wrong?' He asked. Then suddenly he noticed that she had tears in her eyes.

'Did your father say no?' he said hoping that was it, it would be the least of their problems. He knew she would move in with him despite what her father's response would be.

She shook her head and looked at him, and then she gave him a watery smile while placing her hand under her shirt to touch her stomach. Syaoran watched her, his mouth ajar. He kept his eyes fixed on her and was quiet.

She looked at him 'I think might have cursed us.'

'What are you talking about?'

'I shouldn't have spoken about babies a few weeks back.'

Syaoran shifted closer to her 'What are you trying to say.' He acted confused.

'I think I'm pregnant.'

When she said that, something inside him exploded, he did not know if he was happy or sad.

He nodded despondently 'But you can't be.'

'Why not!?' she said almost yelling at him.

He took her hands and looked seriously in her eyes 'We use protection all the time.'

'Except for that one time… I was wearing this really cute pink bra I got on sale, you said you loved it but you had trouble taking it off….and that one time before you went to Eriol's.' She spoke in such panic.

He pondered for a second then remembered what had happened. It was his entire fault. He wanted to try it with her just once without that rubber and he liked it so much the first time that he did not wear it on purpose and pretended he did not have it with him. Sakura hated being on the pill, she always complained about it. He covered half of his face with his hands.

'This is not how it's supposed to end.' He muttered softly. 'This can't be our happy ending' he thought.

'You're not happy.'

He took a deep breath 'I didn't say that.'

'You might as well have.' She sounded as though she was ready to cry.

'I'm happy.' He said 'I'm happy that it's you, you're carrying my baby.'

He looked at her and gave her a kiss on the lips 'Don't worry; everything is going to be alright.'

In his head he thought 'Fuck, I did not expect this.'

She nodded quickly.

He knelt to the floor and hugged her. 'I don't want to lose you because of this. You're eighteen and…'

'I'm more mature than you give me credit for. I'll be alright.' She spoke softly, tired of being looked upon as a helpless child.

'But…you are supposed to start University in a week.'

'Then I won't start.' She held his head in her arms 'I'll wait, University can wait.'

'But…' he said with tears in his eyes.

'Don't say anything Syaoran, this is my choice.' She looked him in the eye and smiled 'I just want you to be happy.'

'I am.' He kissed her stomach 'I am.'

'Good; I haven't told anybody but you.' She ran her fingers through his hair.

'And your father?'

'He'll have a heart attack; I think it would be for the best if I don't tell him just yet.'

Syaoran nodded agreeably. He rested his head between the river of her breasts. Then he abruptly withdrew it (his head).

'Then marry me. We'll run away together, the three of us.'

'You're acting on impulse.'

'We've always acted on impulse, if we did not we would not be together. Sakura, you are the woman I want to grow old with. These past two years have been the worst years of my life. Please say yes.'

'And if I'm not pregnant?' Sakura started to cry.

'Then, I still want to marry. I've never been so certain of anything. It's been on my mind ever since your father mentioned it.' His gaze did not flicker. 'I've got a better idea, come to Hong Kong with me. We can have a quick wedding tomorrow and I promise you a real wedding once everything gets settled. I can work for my father and you can fulfill your dream of becoming a teacher.' He smiled at her pleadingly 'So what do you say Sakura?'

She smiled 'YES!'

He kissed her lips and ran his hands through her soft hair. He stood up and helped her up until she was standing right next to him. He kissed her, as though it was the last time he would ever see her.

'It's not a curse…it's a blessing.'

…………………………..

That night, Sakura packed a few clothes in her school bag and a small suitcase. After the scene outside his apartment, they bought a home pregnancy test and indeed she was pregnant. She knew the news would hurt her father. She would not be able to bear confrontation by the one person who believed in her. The one person who was most proud of her academically. She snuck her bags downstairs and finally, she walked out the door.

It would be a long time before she will ever see that beautiful house she was raised in. She knew that she would miss the summers and the garden. She would miss the birds that sang by the window every morning, and she would miss her father. She left a note on his bedside table explaining everything that had happened. She omitted to mention that she was pregnant.

She ambled to the house next door where Syaoran was to pick her up.

'And where do you think you are going this time of night.' The Neighbor, an old lady asked walking her direction. The minute that question arose, tears came streaming down her face.

'You're not leaving your poor father behind again. He really loves you.'

'I know. I think…I've messed up and….' She stuttered wiping away the tears 'I'm waiting for my boyfriend, we're getting married.' She sounded unhappy in her own ears.

'That's nice. Can I see your engagement ring?' The lady requested.

Sakura shook her head 'He's still arranging that.' She sniffled.

'You don't sound very happy.' The woman said.

'But I am.' Sakura said as though she was trying to convince herself that what she was saying was true. 'I really am. I've found someone who loves me very much. Most people spend a life time looking for that.'

'True. But you are far too young.'

Sakura raised her shoulders 'But I'm ready. I have to be ready, for the sake of Syaoran and our baby.' She whispered the words turning her face aside immediately after that.

The woman looked at Sakura worried. Then she smiled.

'I'm afraid right now. I don't know what's going to happen but I know I'm going to be happy and I trust in Syaoran. Please don't tell my father you saw me.' Now Sakura sounded surer of herself.

'I won't' the woman said sincerely.

There was a short thread of silence then Syaoran pulled the car up in front of her. He helped her with her bags and put them in the back seat. Before he could help her in the car, he noticed that she had a fleeting look of anxiety on her face. She smiled at Syaoran but he was not convinced enough.

He felt uneasy, he was afraid as well but he had to be strong, for her sake. He hugged her and whispered in her ears 'don't worry, I promise I'll take care of you. Do you trust me…Sakura?'

She nodded 'I trust you.'

Each word held a depth of its own. She slowly closed her eyes and managed to release a genuine smile.

THE END

A/N: Okay I know, it kinda keeps you wondering. But if you read my stories, especially the more recent ones, you'll see that I usually don't have completely happy endings. I love to leave the rest to the readers imagination. Please don't hate me for this, my endings tend to disappoint people and sometimes I feel so bad I end up writing an epilogue. I don't really like writing those, it always takes me a long time to find a further story line—they are difficult to write :'(. Any way ^_^ hope you liked it. I made it long to make up for not updating for such a long time. Byyye!!

PS

Thanx to all the faithful reviews and for being so open minded to my experiments :D