Tsundere

A/N: Gaaaah, late for V-Day. Oh well. Enjoy AU Cap'n Kirkland.

Ch2: Pirate

"Yo ho me hearties," slurred Arthur rather eloquently to his crew, "What seems to be the problem?" The expression on his face showed exactly what he thought of the lot who dared to wake him from his sleep, considering it was a rare lull in the seas and he most likely wouldn't be getting another oppurtunity any time soon.

Everyone instantly straightened, no one keen on incuring the wrath of the Captain.

"You see sir," started an anxious new recruit. Arthur held up a hand, silencing the gulping lad. He ambled towards the gagged prisoner. He was blonde, and one of those shameless Americans. The bold captive was currently frozen in a number of brazen acts; his shambles were wrapped tightly around one of his powder monkeys, his left elbow was crushing a sailor's windpipe against a pole, and his foot was stuck up an unfortunate man's...well, it's safe to assume he won't be fathering children anytime soon.

"What's going on here, bucko?" asked Arthur, his voice dangerously low.

"Nothing these bilge-suckers didn't deserve...cap'n." the last word was nearly spat. The blonde then continued his choking/crushing/manhood destroying to further the insult.

The room immediately burst into angry voices and futile attempts to stop the young detainee. One look from their captain however returned the room to the deathly stillness that had preoccupied it.

He moved towards the youth. "You're giving me the notion that you're addled up there lad. That, or you're mighty keen on dancing the hempen jig." The captive opened his mouth to retort, giving the captain plenty of time to uppercut the boy, square in the jaw. Coughing blood, the blonde was taken by surprise once again when Arthur picked him up by the collar and then hauled him over his shoulder. "Hey! Whaddya think you're doing?! Let go of me you scurvy dog!" The crew's hooting and cat-calls were doing no good to settle the younger male's strainings.

As the captain made his way up to his room with his 'booty', the same nervous recruit from before nudged one of the friendlier old salts. "Ahoy, what's going on?"

Laughing heartily, the seasoned sailor stopped in mid-hoot to explain to the newbie. "Arr, Cap'n Kirkland always favoured the fiesty ones..."

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Ch.1 Omake!

Diva gone Rebel

"Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession~!"

He was singing one of those songs again. Germany knew better to continue. He merely sat down and passed the pink plastic microphone he kept under his desk, for these sort of events, down to England.

The country gracefully acepted his 'sceptre', and continued his concert.

"Love me or hate me, that is the question~, if you love me then, thank you!" the Brit bowed with poise. "If you hate me then, fu6k you!"

The vulgarity didn't come as a shock to those present at the world conference. What did however, was the sudden RIIIP! of clothing and the appearance of a punk outfit worthy of any epic riot, complete with spiked hair (how he styled it in 1.8 seconds was beyond all reason), combat boots, and a pointed collar that made Russia green with envy.

"Yeah, I do have some stories, and it's true I want all the glory~," UK was once again on top of the beloved conference table ("I just cleaned that..." muttered Lithuania) cheekily sing-rapping while simultaneously working the crowd with the ILU sign.

"Go on then, come on support me I'm English, try and deport me~!"

"Yay jerk-England!" cheered the impish Sealand his camcorder now. England was already getting him tons of suscribers on Youtube, this would probably double the amount!

"Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession~!"

"Y'know, I invented England." boasted Korea to an eye-rolling China. Okay, that was just ridiculous.

"Love me or hate me, that is the question~, if you love me then, thank you!" England winked jauntily at a blushing Japan. "If you hate me then..."

BANG! America ran in, his mouth already blabbering about robots and hamburgers, only to come across a punky Britain holding a pink microphone.

"...Fu6k you!"

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A/N: Ahhh, just in time! Will edit tomorrow. Please review!

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