Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo.

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Summary: A battle with an unusual enemy has left Ichigo female. Now he has to deal with being treated differently by his friends while trying to unravel the shady events.

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Rated T for light swearing, mentions of "feminine problems", focuses on sexuality, and general things from Chizuru. But note that this is not a yuri fanfic.

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Main Pairings:

Ichigo x Orihime (NOT YURI!)

Rukia x Renji

Uryuu x Nemu

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Bleach

Abstract Gender

By Cyberweasel89

Prologue: Dizzy Up The Girl

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"Crap. Dammit. Shit!"

"That's not how a young lady talks."

"Shut up!"

"I'm only kidding!"

"This is no time for humor! Now how do I get this thing on?"

"You're supposed to put it on backwards and hook it in the front, then spin it around."

"... Like this?"

"Yep!"

"..."

"What is it?"

"Ugh. I was just thinking that if that wasn't me in the mirror, I'd be pretty turned on."

"Ichigo!"

"Sorry, Inoue."

To think... it all happened so fast. And it wasn't that long ago. He would get the bastard that did this to him.

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"Thanks for walking me home, Kurosaki-kun."

"Hey, it's no trouble."

Silence as the two walked. Silence was a welcome replacement for the chaos of everyday life. In the months that followed Aizen's defeat and the eradication of the Espada, the full effects of the war had been realized. For some, it was a delayed realization. For others, it happened immediately. For some, it was a gradual realization, one new surprise at a time. For others, everything crashed down upon them at once. So many people had been affected by the war. People had died, been maimed to the point of crippling, or even gone insane. Major changes had been made to the structure of the Soul Society. New Captains had been appointed, if you could even call them 'captains' anymore.

Several of the shocks had hit Inoue Orihime close to home, but she had made peace with most of them. Even then, everyone these days involved with the Winter Wars needed an escape. Not running away, of course. Everyone just needed a place they could go that would take them away from the sadness of what was lost in the Winter Wars, what was taken by Aizen. Chad had become ever more focused on his music. Rukia was here and there, always ready to stop and chat when she made her frequent stops to Karakura Town, but Orihime had heard she was reading romantic manga as a means of distraction, at least when she wasn't strengthening her Bankai. Tatsuki, whose death hit Orihime particularly hard at first, was busy developing her Shinigami powers, but Orihime knew she would be back from Soul Society soon for a visit. Ishida... well, I guess you could say his keen intellect was as sharp as ever, but he generally didn't get around much without his new fiancé. He mostly resigned to reading nowadays, what with his lack of proper mobility. She hadn't seen Mizuiro for some time, but she knew where he was. He was no doubt still dating older women. Keigo, well... Orihime really didn't want to think about him right now. It was too painful. Right now, walking home with Ichigo... it was her escape. Even if it was silent, she felt content like this. She would occasionally glance over at the orange-haired Shinigami, walking with his arms behind his head and eyes focused forward. She had to wonder what was on his mind... Was it the offer? After his deeds in the Winter Wars, Ichigo had been offered the position of Captain of the Fourteenth Division, a future special-interest division, after he naturally dies. Of course, he would hopefully have a full lifetime to consider such a position, but she knew it was probably something that entered his conscious thoughts now and then.

A lot had happened over the last year. Rukia's arrival, the infiltration of Soul Society, the Arrancar assault, her rescue operation in Hueco Mundo, the winter wars, and countless other hardships. Orihime couldn't help but feel that all of them, as a group, accomplished a great deal. But she still felt like she didn't do much... Now everything felt like it was back the way it was, with them all in school, and yet part of her knew that the countless scars and permanent wounds ran deep. No amount of healing or correcting could give Ishida-san back his-

"So... how is Kuchiki-san?" the girl asked, finding her thoughts far too weighty to stand this silence.

"Same as always. It's hard to keep up with her. I gotta stay on my toes to keep her happy."

Orihime just smiled. "That's not unusual. That's how it is with most girlfriends."

The orange-haired Shinigami just grunted. But his usual scowl lessened, if only just slightly.

Despite his perpetual scowl and aloof yet indignant attitude, Orihime could tell that a lot was on his mind. She had known him long enough and been through enough with him to be able to see some of what was going on in his head, but not as much as Rukia could. Rukia could always tell exactly what he was thinking, and she always knew exactly what to do to snap him out of anything he was going through. It actually made her feel kind of...

The street lamp flickered and went dark. Ichigo jerked his arm out to halt the girl's steps.

"Hang on. Something's happening."

"What?" Orihime inquired, eyes widening in worry.

"Just wait. Stay still..."

The air seemed thick, like on ominous gloom was oppressing the area. It wasn't anywhere close to the force of Reiatsu. But it definitely was hinting at something...

Sure enough, the street light flickered back on, and a shadowed figure was standing there at the edge of the light.

"Good evening, Kurosaki Ichigo. Good evening, Inoue Orihime." Came a male voice, a bit scratchy sounding.

"Who are you?" the orange-haired Shinigami demanded.

"I am here to play a little game. Just a simple little game."

"A game?" Orihime questioned, but Ichigo shot her a look, silently telling her not to speak.

"Yes, just a harmless little game."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "What kind of game?"

The shadowed figure stepped further into the light, revealing an ashen gray Shinigami uniform with stitches covering it, as if it was sewn together from patches of gray cloth. The gray top hat upon his head matched his uniform perfectly, even complete with the same randomly sprawled stitches and sewing borders, which was currently tipped to shield his eyes from view. He was male, skinny, about the same height as Ichigo, but a little older, with spiky chestnut hair and fair skin. At his hip was a straight-bladed katana-like sword, sheathed in an ornate gilded scabbard. Strangely, the hilt seemed to have an odd round device attached to it. The man gripped the sword's hilt and gently drew it from its scabbard.

"Just a quick introductory game, is all." he declared with a sly smile full of pure white teeth, a playful tone to his scratchy voice.

As if rocketing from where he was standing, he lunged forward, his sword thrusting directly at Ichigo. The orange-haired Shinigami shoved Orihime out of the way and jerked to the side, narrowly avoiding the blade. Ichigo noticed that the round device on the hilt looked somewhat like the speedometer of a car. It had three sections on the gauge; red, yellow, and green; with an arrow currently in the middle of the red.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime called from her position on the ground. Her skirt had bunched up around her hip, revealing her underwear, and the orange-haired Shinigami noticed the arrow in the gauge on the enemy's sword twitch slightly.

"I'll be fine, Inoue!"

Unfortunately, what with the recent peace, Ichigo didn't have Kon or any other method of ejecting himself from his body. He would have to fight this guy with just pure physical ability. His musings, however, were cut short when he scrambled backwards to avoid the enemy stabbing his sword down near his leg.

Ichigo jumped to his feet and lunged forward, aiming his fist at the enemy's face. The enemy merely leaned to the side to avoid the strike, and smacked Ichigo across the face. His resulting laughter was cut short when the orange-haired Shinigami kneed him in the stomach. As the enemy stumbled backwards, clutching his gut, Ichigo backed off to put some space between him and his foe.

"What the hell was that? Did you just slap me?"

Once the enemy got his wind back, he just grinned gleefully, lightly chuckling. "Oh, yes. I'm just toying with you. But after that blow to the stomach, I think I'll have to get serious."

The enemy seemingly vanished for a second, and Ichigo tilted his body to avoid a sword thrust. Then another sword thrust. The orange-haired Shinigami felt a barrage of consecutive sword thrusts coming at him, and he had to work hard to dodge each one. As Ichigo ducked to avoid one particular thrust, he felt the next one graze his cheek, leaving a shallow cut. He growled and jumped backwards to again put some distance between them.

The enemy backed away, giving the orange-haired Shinigami the chance to catch his breath.

"See this?"

Ichigo looked up to see the enemy pointing at his sword.

"This is my Zanpakutou, . And do you see what is on it? Your blood."

"Yeah, so what does that mean?" Ichigo retorted.

"That means the fun can really begin, my boy. Horuchuushaki! Gynocentralize!"

Ichigo braced himself for the enemy to release his Zanpakutou. But the straight-bladed sword with the gauge on the hilt stayed the same. Instead, Ichigo felt a sudden shift in his body's center of gravity. It was such a sudden shift that he nearly fell over had he not managed to catch himself. His clothes felt a lot looser, too. What the hell did this guy just do? The orange-haired Shinigami looked down at himself, shocked as confusion was replaced with awed realization.

He was looking down at a girl's body. He had the same skin tone, and he still felt that his hair was short and spiky, but he could clearly see that his body had changed to that of a girl's figure, with slender legs, a thin waist, round hips, and a sizeable bust comparable to that of Orihime. He had gotten noticeably shorter, too. So short, in fact, that his normally well-fitting school uniform's pants were threatening to fall off, while his shirt was hanging far farther than it had previously.

"What the hell?" He paused at the sound of his voice. It was more high-pitched, feminine, almost musical. "What the hell did you do to me, you bastard?"

The enemy giggled in quite the delighted manner. "Isn't it wonderful? You look so much more attractive now! Eee hee hee hee!"

Ichigo charged for the enemy, but soon tripped and fell flat on his face. "Ow! What the hell just happened?" To add insult to injury, his pants had fallen down to his knees as he fell. He stood up again and attempted to run again, but fell once more. His denial hoped the fall was because of the pants at his ankles, rather than what he feared...

"You see now, don't you? Females have different centers of gravity and proportions than males. With your body so different, you've completely lost the balance and grace you were so accustomed to! Isn't it just marvelous?"

The enemy walked forward and stood over Ichigo, who had pulled himself up on his arms. He swiped his sword horizontally at his now bosomy chest, leaving the orange-haired Shinigami with a cut shirt.

"Mmm... Such a lovely figure you have. So delectable! Too bad I have to kill you now."

"Tsubaki! Koten Zanshun! I reject!"

Ichigo was startled to see something pass right through the enemy's chest and right through his Zanpakutou, shattering the blade down to the hilt. He immediately fell to his knees, clutching the gaping hole just between his shoulder and chest.

"Ah! Pain! This pain! It's my blood! This pain! I LOVE IT!"

Orihime ran up to the orange-haired Shinigami and knelt by his side.

"Kurosaki-kun! Are you okay?" she asked, her voice shaky.

"Yeah! But that attack didn't finish him off." Ichigo commented, cringing at the sound of his musically feminine voice.

The enemy jumped backward, putting distance between himself and the two. "Hah! That was fun! I'd love to continue, but I can't very well fight with a broken Zanpakutou." He held up the hilt to caress it. "Poor Horuchuushaki. There there, poor girl. Ssh-ssh. It'll be okay. I know it hurts, but you'll be fine." He sheathed the hilt and what remained of the blade back in the scabbard at his hip, turning to gaze back over at Ichigo and Orihime with a glint in his now-visible green left eye. "I can't wait for the next time! But I have to go. Toodles!"

With that, he vanished, seeming to meld into the darkness just beyond the street lamp.

After several moments of silence, which shifted in and out of being awkward, Orihime turned back to the orange-haired Shinigami. "Kurosaki-kun! Are you alright?" she cried in alarm.

Ichigo just grunted. "Yeah, I'm fine." But he looked back down at his body. "You broke that guy's Zanpakutou. How come I'm still..." he couldn't bring himself to admit what happened by finishing his sentence...

Orihime's brow furrowed, biting her lip. "I don't know... but can you walk?"

"Yeah, of course." The orange-haired Shinigami responded pridefully. He stood, but wobbled violently and fell back down.

"Kurosaki-kun! You can't walk like this! Let me give you a hand."

Ichigo just sighed. "Fine. Dammit, that bastard said something about my balance being off."

The orange-haired Shinigami stood, putting his arm around Orihime's shoulder for support. The girl proceeded to lead them down the road. His pants were forgotten on the road, but his previously well-fitting shirt was like a long tunic now. That thought was far from the orange-haired Shinigami's mind, though. He silently seethed. He was shorter than he thought. He was taller than Orihime before. Now he was shorter than her! That at least had to be a difference of thirty centimeters!

"Where should we go, Kurosaki-kun?"

Orihime's gentle question jerked him out of his thoughts. "I dunno. I guess we should head to your house. I was walking you there anyway."

"Okay, but you should spend the night."

"What? Why?"

"How would your family react if they saw you like this? You should stay the night with me so that we can call Urahara tomorrow and see what he can do."

The orange-haired Shinigami sighed. There was no beating her logic. And that was something he thought he'd never say about Orihime. "Fine. But only for tonight, and we're seeing Urahara first thing tomorrow morning. Good thing it's Friday..."

They walked in silence for a moment. It was a comfortable silence, yet awkward at the same time. Ichigo just sifted through his thoughts, feeling oddly introspective at the moment. That guy appeared so suddenly, and left in the same way. And it was Orihime who actually drove him off. He didn't expect that. He was actually kind of impressed. That thought reminded the orange-haired Shinigami that Orihime was still there, supporting his weight. He broke the longstanding silence.

"Hey, Inoue."

"Yes, Kurosaki-kun?"

The orange-haired Shinigami's mouth twitched into a very slight smirk. "That was pretty cool what you did back there."

"What?"

"You sent Tsubaki right through that guy's chest, even broke his Zanpakutou. That's really good."

"Um... Thank you, Kurosaki-kun."

He couldn't help but wonder about the redness that crept onto her face. Could she be coming down with something? Eh. He wouldn't give it much thought. She seemed fine. And maybe he would be fine, too. This was probably all a dream. Aside from the sharp decrease in height, the different distributions of weight, and all that other crap, there was no sure sign he changed sex, right? It was probably just a dizzy spell. He hallucinated that guy that appeared, and now Orihime was carrying him because he was too dizzy to walk. Yeah, that was it.

But he couldn't disregard Orihime chasing that guy off, even if it really was just a hallucination. As his hardheaded friend supported his weight while they headed down the street, the orange-haired Shinigami couldn't help but think...

Hey, she's pretty cool.