And for Valentine 's Day (Yes, I know its early, but I might not get on the net again this week), something completely new and unseen before. At the behest of many people, I give you…LAVEN!! OMG!! And just to be COMPLETELY different… well, I'll let you see for yourself! Gonna give it to you all in one, but it was originally a multi-chapter, so it's a little bit long…

So anyway, no ownage here.

Warnings: Yaoi, obviously. Laven, TykixAllen, violence, abuse, manipulation, rape, mentions of necrophilia… You know, all your usual romantic stuff.

Stillborn Tears

The closest of friends

"Hah!" Lavi slammed down the console remote triumphantly. "In your face!"

Allen accepted the defeat graciously, reaching over and flicking off the Wii while Lavi did the same with the TV, while still doing a bizarre victory dance around the room.

Allen took a small notebook from the back pocket of his jeans and made a tally mark next to Lavi's name. "Now you're only five wins behind me," he commented with a grin, snapping the notebook shut as he watched Lavi deflate a little. The redhead gave a small huff and dumped himself onto the sofa, folding his arms across his chest.

Allen rolled his eyes and flicked some of the remaining popcorn at his friend. At first Lavi ignored him, but as soon as he had enough ammunition for a serious assault, he began lobbing the popcorn back, coating both the living room and Allen with the stuff.

After ten minutes of furious food fighting, Allen flopped back in front of the fire, a happy grin on his face as he picked popcorn fragments from his white hair. Lavi came to sit by him, fixing the flames with a one-eyed stare.

Allen watched him pensively for a moment before sitting up. "I can cancel tonight if you want. Tyki won't mind this once." He rested his head on his friends shoulder, looking up at him through clear greyish-blue eyes. He felt the small tremor that ran through the redhead's body before Lavi turned to look at him. Allen sat back, meeting the emerald gaze.

"No, that's ok, I'll be fine. I'll probably stick a DVD on then have an early night." Lavi forced a grin onto his face.

It had become a ritual every year for Allen and Lavi to meet up on the anniversary of the accidents that had affected their lives so much, however, this would be the first year that Lavi's grandfather, an old wizened man known to everyone as Bookman would not be around to comfort him once Allen had left. The old man had been called away to a conference to give a talk on forgotten history.

Lavi serious considered Allen's offer, but he knew, no matter what Allen said, Tyki, his boyfriend of three years, would mind being blown off. Lavi already knew that Tyki was jealous of the close friendship he shared with Allen, and didn't want to affect the relationship that made Allen so happy any more than he already had. He patted Allen's hand in a comforting way. "Don't worry about me; start worrying about where Tyki is going to be taking you out later."

Allen gave him a sympathetic look, resting his head back on his friends shoulder with a sigh.

He had first met Lavi in hospital just after the accident. He too was recovering after an accident in which his father had died.

A small frightened boy, curled up on the hospital bed, a long scar running down the left side of his face and his left arm painfully burned by the fire that had killed his father and nearly claimed his own life, Allen had been befriended by Lavi, who was a couple of years his senior. Lavi had just lost his parents and been half-blinded by a terrible car crash, and saw in the short eight year old the same yawning emptiness and sense of loss that he too felt.

They soon became close friends, helping each other through their recovery, both understanding the others pain. It was Allen who made Lavi his first eye patch in therapy as he relearned to control his burnt hand when Lavi had refused to wear a glass eye, and it was Lavi's shirt that Allen wore to hide his arm when they went outside for the first time.

More than ten years later, they were still the closest of friends.

They sat together for a little while longer; lost in their own thoughts until the jingle of Allen's mobile phone disturbed the peace. He fumbled it from his pocket, briefly checking the caller display before looking at Lavi apologetically. Lavi grinned back and made shooing motions with his hands, watching as Allen darted away to take the call.

Lavi leaned back on his elbows, listening to the one side of the conversation he could hear from the hallway.

"I don't know if I feel up to it tonight Tyki…"

"No, I just…"

"Don't be like that!"

"It's just Lavi and I…"

"Of course not!" Allen sounded almost panicky by now, and Lavi was pretty sure he knew why. After all, all conversations between Allen and his boyfriend went the same way as soon as Lavi's name was mentioned.

"He's my friend, and you know it's a difficult time of year for the both…"

There was a long silence. Lavi waited with baited breath, wondering what technique Tyki was using to convince Allen to go out.

When Allen spoke again, he was much quieter than before, which meant he'd given in to whatever Tyki had said to him. "It's okay, I understand. I'm really sorry. Love you too."

Lavi managed to wipe the disapproving expression from his face before Allen came back into the room. "So, off anywhere nice tonight?" he asked as though he had not been eavesdropping on the conversation.

"We're going to Jerry's!" Allen was almost drooling already, grinning like a madman.

Lavi grinned back. Jerry's was an all-you-can-eat restaurant that served just about anything you could want to order. It was a good place to take Allen who, despite his short stature, had an enormous appetite. "What time are you leaving?"

Allen's excited expression turned apologetic again. "He's coming to pick me up in about fifteen minutes."

Ignoring the disappointment that rose in his chest, Lavi's smile widened. "You're going to have a great night, don't worry about me."

Allen smiled back, oblivious to his friend's true feelings. "I'll get my stuff together then."

Lavi gave him a double thumbs up before retreating to the kitchen. Once in there he stood in the middle of the room aimlessly, listening to the sounds of Allen collecting his belongings from where they were strewn around the house. He didn't need to wonder about the tightness ion his chest, or why the thought of Allen spending the night with someone else made him bitterly jealous.

Despite the fact that they had grown up like brothers, Lavi was in love with Allen.

He jumped, startled at the sound of a loud knock at the door. Composing himself, he pulled it open to find himself face to face with a tall, good looking, tanned dark haired man. Dressed in a smart pair of dark jeans and a black dress shirt, he was leaning on the doorframe with an air of boredom, looking at Lavi through a curtain of artfully arranged curly dark hair with haunting golden-hued eyes.

Lavi rolled his eye at the obvious posing. "Hello Mikk." He used the other man's surname to emphasise how much he didn't like him. He gestured the older man inside, but the response he was given was something akin to a sneer.

"I'm just here for Allen."

With a shrug, Lavi turned away. "Whatever. He's just getting his stuff together." He left Tyki at the door, since he had refused to come in and went back into the other room where Allen was hastily stuffing his belongings into his bag. He glanced up as Lavi walked in.

"He's waiting for you outside. I don't think he wants to contaminate himself by coming into my house."

Allen rolled his eyes. "Lavi, you make it sound like he hates you! He must be in a hurry, I better get going." He slung the bag over his shoulder and headed through the kitchen to the door, Lavi close behind him. "Sorry about that! I'm so disorganised it took forever to find everything!" Allen said breathlessly as he approached his boyfriend who was still lurking on the doorway.

Tyki gave him a wide, happy smile, slinging an arm over Allen's shoulders. Allen snuggled into the embrace while the taller man looked at Lavi over his head, a smug expression on his handsome face that clearly said 'mine'. Lavi ignored him as much as possible, but he was burning with anger. He had never approved of Allen's boyfriends, but had always chalked it up to jealousy. This one however… he knew he just disliked him. Immensely.

"Have a good night Allen."

Allen, who still looked a little insure, nodded at his friend. "I will. Try not to think about it too much. And call me if you need anything."

"Allen," chided Tyki gently, while still glaring over his head in Lavi's general direction, "you won't be able to have your phone on in the restaurant. It'd be ever so rude."

Allen blushed. "Of course, it would be rude, wouldn't it?"

Lavi frowned a little. Why was it that Allen seemed completely different around Tyki? "Don't worry, I'll be fine. Go out and have a good time."

Allen nodded again. "I'll call you tomorrow, we can do something."

"Alright, we have a reservation to make, let's go." Tyki took Allen's bag from him, turning away, obviously expecting Allen to follow. Instead the snowy-haired boy hung back. "Lavi, it's not too late, I can stay if you want me to."

Lavi was torn, he badly wanted Allen to stay over, hell he just wanted Allen full stop, but he saw the jealousy burning in Tyki's eyes whenever he saw Allen and Lavi together, and knew no matter how many times he was told, Tyki would not believe that Allen and Lavi's relationship was purely a close friendship. Not that Lavi didn't want to take it further. Perhaps Tyki is right to be worried thought Lavi as he caught himself watching Allen a little too intently, although to his surprise Allen didn't seem too discomforted by the forceful gaze. On the contrary, he flushed scarlet, all the while remaining silent and watchful, nervously running his tongue across his lips, tugging at his sleeves, waiting… waiting for Lavi to say something, do something! Anything!

Allen found himself blushing furiously as he remembered how close they had been earlier in front of the fire, and nearly took a step closer to Lavi before his apparently absent senses came rushing back to him and he remembered that his boyfriend of three years was waiting for him, ready to take him on an amazing date at a fantastic, expensive and notoriously hard to get into restaurant. Allen immediately felt guilty and looked away quickly, avoiding Lavi's curious and slightly hurt expression.

The silence stretched on, neither of them moving or daring to speak.

Meanwhile, Tyki had made it to his car and was growing impatient. He honked the horn a couple of times in frustration. Inside, Allen jumped, startled by the sudden noise. "I'll call you tomorrow," he muttered before he fled the house, closing the door hurriedly behind him.

Lavi didn't move for a while. He listened as Tyki's car screeched away, no doubt leaving tire marks on the road, then it was quiet, the gentle hum of the fridge and the rhythmic ticking of the wall clock the only noise in the kitchen.

Just why had Allen looked at him like that, as though waiting for him to do something?

Just why had Allen looked at him like that, as though waiting for him to kiss him?

Just wishful thinking Lavi sighed and flicked off the light, returning to the popcorn strewn solitude of the living room.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The silence stretched on, Tyki, focussing on the road while Allen played with his fingers almost nervously. Eventually he spoke. "I'm sorry Tyki. I'm not sure what I've done to upset you, but whatever it is, I'm really very sorry."

For a moment the other man said nothing, then he sighed, long and heavy, as though the whole situation required a large sacrifice on his part. "It' not that I don't trust you" he said as he gripped the steering wheel tighter. "It's him I don't trust. I've seen the way he looks at you, and I don't like it. Your mine, and he needs to realise it."

Allen frowned. When they had first started seeing each other, Tyki's possessive and protectiveness was endearing, it made him feel wanted, but now… "There's nothing to worry about, there's nothing going on between me and Lavi."

Tyki looked at him sidelong, catching the faint resignation in Allen's tone. He gave a mocking snort that bordered on full-blown laughter. "You like him! Oh my God!" He really began laughing now, the sound a little unhinged, and the car swerved dangerously. "How long has this been going on? Ever since we started going out? Before?" The laughter stopped suddenly and he turned cold eyes onto Allen's shocked face. "Am I just some replacement? Second best?"

Allen shook his head in denial vigorously. "It's not like that! I really love you! Lavi's just my best friend!"

The coldness left Tyki's golden eyes as though it was never there to begin with. He took a hand from the wheel and rested it on Allen's thigh. "And I really love you Allen. Now let's forget about everything and enjoy this evening, shall we?"

Allen nodded, not wanting to provoke Tyki's anger further.

Over the last couple of years he'd grown accustomed to his boyfriend's sudden flares of temper, blowing from hot to cold in a matter of seconds, with rarely any warning. And he really did mean it when he had said he loved him. He just wasn't sure that it was enough any more.

0o0o0o0o0o0

After his sixth glass of whiskey, Lavi was feeling decidedly tipsy. He thought of how Allen would disapprove of his behaviour, since he himself never touched alcohol, and then his thoughts moved from what Allen would say if he found him like this to what Allen would do if he found him like this to just Allen.

Lavi poured another drink to try and drive Allen's face from his mind, but it seemed the more he drank, the more determined his mind became on recalling in detail everything it could about the white-haired youth.

This wasn't working.

After his tenth glass, Lavi decided that getting drunk was a stupid idea, though it was a little late for that revelation. He sat in his living room, staring listlessly at the blank TV screen, feeling lonely and oddly enough, very horny, something he attributed to the alcohol and an overactive imagination. He came to the conclusion that he had two choices.

He could indulge his imagination and take himself off to the bathroom for some quality hand time and have an early night to sleep off the alcohol or…

He found himself reaching for the phone before he'd finished forming the thought. There was one number he could always call that would cure all his loneliness and wipe Allen from his mind at the same time. At least for that night.

The gentle voice of his fuck buddy, friend with benefits, whatever, jolted him from his thoughts ('He's your best friend, you idiot!')

"Hey Lenalee, it's me. I was wondering of you were doing anything tonight?"

From Bad…

"Where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick!" Tyki began before Allen had made it all the way inside, his voice low and venomously angry.

"I was working late- I left you a message" Allen faltered as he dropped his bag onto a chair, looking very confused. "I said I wouldn't be back 'til ten."

Tyki glared at him, golden eyes sparking with his ire. "It's nearly twenty past! What took you so long?"

"The bus was late, I would have called but my phone battery's dead."

Tyki seemed to swell with anger. "How could you have been so irresponsible?! What if something happened?"

Allen began to frown a little. "Calm down, it's fine, nothing happened. I was only a little bit later than I said I would be."

Tyki turned away, his shoulders hunched and fists clenched.

Not put off by this behaviour, Allen ploughed on, angry that Tyki was blowing everything out of proportion… he was just so possessive and over-protective sometimes! "You worry too much! Sometimes I wonder if you're my boyfriend or my mother!"

The older man swung round furiously, his arms flailing. "Your mother? YOUR MOTHER! That's the thanks I get for showing I care? You are so ungrateful Allen! Honestly, sometimes I…" Tyki opened his eyes sensing that something was wrong by the lack of argument from the other. To his surprise, Allen was no longer standing in front of him, but sitting, slumped against one of the kitchen chairs, staring at Tyki in shock with a trickle of blood running down his chin from a split lip.

The tall tanned man looked confusedly between Allen, still frozen immobile on the floor and his own fists, one of which was speckled by blood.

He dropped to the floor next to Allen, reaching out to him. Allen watched him silently with wide frightened eyes, attempting to shuffle away despite his awkward position. Tyki shook his head in disbelief, wrapping his arms around Allen's thin frame before he could move away. "I'm so sorry Allen. It was an accident. You know I would never, never hurt you on purpose, don't you?" he implored; sounding very upset and close to tears. "I'm so sorry! Do you forgive me?"

Allen nodded slowly, resting his head on Tyki's shoulder and closing his eyes. After all, it was an accident; the other man would never purposefully hurt him.

Tyki rocked them both back and forth, cradling Allen's head and making soft soothing noises, all the while inwardly marvelling at the rush that seeing that fearful expression on Allen's face had caused.

0o0o0o0o0

TWO WEEKS LATER

It was Allen's first day off work for as long as he could remember, and he was laying stretched out in the double bed that he rarely got to himself. For once he didn't have to worry about anything that needed doing. No tables to clear, customers to deal with and he wouldn't be rushed off his feet all day.

Tyki had taken it upon himself to go grocery shopping an hour earlier, so Allen knew he had plenty of time. For some reason whenever Tyki went food shopping, he took three hours longer than it would take anyone else.

Grinning slightly to himself, Allen rolled out of bed and headed to the shower. As long as he'd cleaned the kitchen by the time his boyfriend came home, everything would be fine.

Ever since the incident a fortnight ago, Allen had felt like he was walking on eggshells, not quite sure if Tyki was going to snap again, accident or not, that punch had hurt.

Allen stepped under the scorching flow, letting the water relax him and wash away the tension that had collected in his muscles from just thinking about the confrontation. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't hear the front door open and close, or the angry voice calling his name. In fact, the first thing that he knew about Tyki's early return was when he crashed through the bathroom door.

"Jesus, you scared the life out of me!"

The other man sneered at him, his usually warm golden eyes frigid. "Had a nice lazy morning have you? Doing the kitchen too much like hard work I suppose?"

Allen paled, but drew himself up with as much dignity as he could muster while standing naked in the shower. "I was going to have it done before you got back. It's hardly my fault you're early."

Tyki clenched his fists tightly. "It would have made more sense to clean up the mess first! Now I can't even put the food away!"

Allen sighed, torn between arguing back and keeping the peace. "I'll be down in a minute. Let me just finish washing my hair."

"The hell you will! Get that mess sorted now!"

Allen paused in the act of rinsing his hair and looked at Tyki in mild and barely concealed surprise. "It wouldn't hurt for you to do a little yourself. It's mostly your mess anyway. Those certainly aren't my lager cans!" He wasn't entirely sure what possessed him to argue back, considering how he was trying to avoid confrontation with Tyki at the moment, but it didn't matter, it was already too late. Without warning the larger man reached out and grabbed a handful of Allen's sudsy hair, dragging him over the edge of the bath and flinging him roughly against the sink. There was a sharp crack as Allen's head connected with the basin and as he fell away, a small splash of blood marred the white porcelain.

Tyki's closed fist came back again and again, across Allen's face, into his stomach, until, as though nothing had happened, Allen was lifted back into the bath by gentle hands and the blood washed away, fingers combing through his hair and inspecting the cut from the edge of the sink.

"Oh Allen, you see what you made me do? If you'd just listened to me in the first place I wouldn't have had to punish you, would I?" Tyki's hands, so violent only moments before, stroked Allen's face tenderly, washing the blood from the cut on his cheek and caressing his rapidly swelling eye.

"Let's get you dry and dressed and then you can get down to cleaning the kitchen. After all, it is your house; you need to make sure it's all tidy, don't you?"

He spoke so calmly and comfortingly that Allen found himself listening more to his tone rather than the words, and nodded agreeably. His whole body hurt, and he knew he wouldn't have been able to argue if he wanted to. After all, he thought, Tyki was right, if he'd just done as he was asked in the first place then none of this would have happened.

He allowed himself to be led him into the bedroom and Tyki begin to dress him. As his long sleeved t-shirt was pulled over his head, he felt a large, lightly tanned hand glide his hand along his right arm, and somewhere in his still numbed mind he realised that the only time Tyki ever touched his left arm was by accident. And dimly in that dark recess of his mind he reflected that Lavi never avoided it at all. But that thought was soon lost, eclipsed by the sensation of Tyki's mouth working up his exposed back, planting gentle kisses while his hand still moved lazily up and down Allen's right arm. "You're so beautiful, you know that? I love you Allen."

Allen shook his head automatically, disagreeing with Tyki's statement. "I'm not beautiful. I don't know why you're still with me, I'm a terrible boyfriend. I'm lucky to have you." Perhaps he truly believed it.

Tyki smiled kindly at him, though there was a faint edge of smugness to it. "Show me how lucky you think you are." He wasted no time pulling Allen's t-shirt back over his head, running his tongue along his neck and guiding Allen round to face him. "Show me" he demanded again.

0o0o0o0o0

Lavi scowled at the phone, but it still didn't ring. He'd been trying to make Allen call by glaring at the phone for nearly a week now, and it hadn't worked once. Bookman was getting rather annoyed. He'd returned from the conference ready for some well-earned peace and quiet, and instead walked back to chaos.

Something about Allen vanishing off of the face of the Earth, an evil psychopathic boyfriend and Lenalee Lee's older brother on the warpath after finding out that Lavi had slept with his precious little sister. In fact, it was only Komui Lee's intense respect for the old Bookman that kept him from spilling Lavi's blood in his home, though Lavi knew that there were lots of surveillance devices stationed outside the house ready for action should he put so much as a single red hair outside the front door.

Bookman sighed with exaggerated patience. "Why don't you call him?"

Lavi rolled his eye. "I tried that already, but all I get is his voicemail or Tyki answers for him. He told me Allen's ill and to stop bothering him, and he'll get Allen to call when he's better."

Bookman shook his head. "So what's the problem?"

"That was a week ago! He should be well enough to call! If he isn't he should probably see a doctor!"

"Why don't you go over and see for yourself?" the old man suggested, desperate for some silence.

Lavi beamed at him. "What a brilliant idea! Thanks Gramps!"

"Idiot boy" was Bookman's only response other than closing his eyes and settling down for a nap.

0o0o0o0o0

Lavi knocked exuberantly on the front door of Cross Marian, Allen's wayward guardian's home, expecting a bedraggled and snuffly Allen to answer. Instead, Tyki yanked the door open and glared at him.

"What do you want? I said I'd get Allen to call when he was better."

"And I'm still waiting for him to call."

"Doesn't that tell you something?"

Lavi exhaled heavily through his nose. "Look, I'm not here to interfere, but Allen's my best mate and I'm worried, that's all. What's wrong with him? Has he seen a doctor?"

Tyki's scowl deepened, but then he seemed to relent a little. "It's food poisoning. The doctor's been to see him, and says he'll be okay in a few more days, OK? I'll tell him you came by." He made to shut the door, but Lavi jammed his boot into the crack as it closed.

"Shouldn't he be in hospital then?"

"No." Tyki kicked Lavi's foot out of the way. "Goodbye Lavi" and he firmly closed the door in his face.

0o0o0o0o0

On the way home Lavi took the risk and went to see Lenalee in the coffee shop where she worked. He tapped her lightly on the shoulder, making her jump and nearly drop the tray of coffee she was carrying. "Lavi, are you crazy?! If my brother finds out you've been anywhere near me, he'll kill you for sure!" she hissed at him angrily.

Lavi shook his head. "I really need to talk to you about something, and you're the only one I can trust."

Lenalee, curiosity aroused, nodded and pointed to a table at the rear of the little café. "I'll serve these and then I can take a break. Hold on."

Five minutes later she joined him, clutching two mugs of coffee. "So, what's up?"

"It's Allen. I'm really worried about him."

"Allen? Why?"

"He's vanished. I can't get in contact with him at all. Not by phone or when I went round earlier. Tyki says he's ill with food poisoning, but something's not quite right. If Allen could get food poisoning, he'd have had it by now, with everything he eats!" He gave a low mirthless chuckle at his rather lame joke. "I don't know…" he rubbed the back of his head ruefully. "It seems stupid, but…"

Lenalee was silent for a moment, absently stirring her coffee with a thoughtful expression on her face.

"I saw Tyki walk past a few times the last couple of weeks, but Allen hasn't been with him..." She faded away, as though she was still thinking.

Lavi felt there was more to come, so remained silent, drinking his coffee and waiting for Lenalee to continue.

Eventually she laid down her teaspoon and leaned towards Lavi, looking him steadily in the eye. "He's always got a girl with him whenever I see him around nowadays. I've seen him with five different girls in just the last two weeks, but it's been going on far longer than that."

Lavi looked murderous. "That bastard!" He slammed his palm against the table, rattling the china and drawing scandalised looks from the other patrons. "But that still doesn't explain where Allen is…if he'd gone away he'd have told me, I'm sure. I just wish I could see him. Or even just talk to him…"

Lenalee smiled softly. "You should really tell him. You know what Allen's like, you need to make the first move, or he'll be oblivious forever."

Lavi blinked at her stupidly. "What are you talking about?"

Lenalee laughed. "You aren't the only one who comes to me with their problems, Lavi" and with that she picked up the now empty cups and left him alone.

…To worse

It was several days (and much worrying) later that Lavi finally saw Allen again. And it was not the reunion that Lavi was expecting.

A knock at the door interrupted Lavi's quiet and rather boring evening. When he opened the door, he blinked in surprise. "Allen! What are you doing here?"

Allen glanced over his shoulder, back towards the road, almost nervously. "I'm sorry, I should have called first. If you're busy I'll go." He made as if to walk away.

Lavi shook his head quickly. Now he had finally managed to see Allen again, he wasn't going to let him go without some explanation for his disappearance. He shot out a hand and grasped Allen around his elbow. "No, I'm not busy. I was just a little surprised to see you, that's all. After all, you disappeared off the face of the planet for over a week and then show up here out of the blue."

"I was ill" muttered Allen distractedly, still looking back towards the road. Lavi noticed how tense and anxious he appeared, and his curiosity grew. "Please Lavi, can I come in? It's cold out here."

Lavi frowned a little. It was July and the weather was extremely pleasant, even at this time of night. He was about to comment on that when he caught the faint traces of the fading bruise around Allen's eye, which the darkness had been hiding up 'til now.

"Oh alright, I suppose I can let you in if it's that cold" Lavi stood back to let Allen in, but even his joking demeanour could not disguise the worried expression stealing across his face. He closed the door and trailed after Allen into the sitting room to find him already sprawled across the couch, very nearly asleep.

"Allen, what's going on? I was really worried about you! You look terrible! What happened to your eye? Hell, what happened to your face?!"

Allen opened an eye blearily. "You know what I'm like, I'm so clumsy! I fell down the stairs."

"And cut your face?" Lavi asked, eyeing the faint trace of a gash across Allen's cheekbone.

"There was a pile of stuff at the bottom" explained Allen with a sigh, closing his eye and burying his face in a cushion.

Lavi frowned, watching as Allen winced as he settled down. He knelt next to the settee and rested his hand on Allen's shoulder, withdrawing it in astonishment when Allen flinched away from the touch. "Allen?" He reached out and pulled the collar of Allen's loose shirt back, revealing a yellowing bruise covering his shoulder and back, patches of darker bruising dotting here and there among the fading bruise. They almost looked like fist marks… "You fell down the stairs?" Lavi pressed, scepticism layering his tone, anger making the words come out harsher than he intended.

Allen didn't seem to notice, he just nodded into the cushion tiredly. "Yes."

"Hmmm." Lavi pressed his lips together disapprovingly, but knew he would get nothing else out of Allen while he was like this. Instead he ran his hand over the back of Allen's head with a sigh, feeling the scab from a cut catch on his fingers as he did so. "Are there any more? Do you need them treating?"

Allen rolled over, both surprised and grateful that Lavi had stopped questioning the origins of his injuries, though he suspected that Lavi knew full well where they had come from. He nodded again, and pulled the shirt over his head, revealing the full extent of the bruising.

Lavi sucked in a breath in sympathy. "Some fall."

Allen found he couldn't quite meet Lavi's eye. "It was."

With swift knowledgeable fingers Lavi assessed the damage. "At least nothing's broken. This time." He grasped Allen's chin and forced him to look at him. "The next 'fall' might kill you, Allen. Please, please be careful."

"I'm trying."

Lavi pulled him into an immense but tender hug, all pretence gone. "I mean it. You don't have to stay there." You could stay here, with me.

Allen laughed lightly into Lavi's shoulder, hiding his face. "Lavi even you have stairs in your house. I'll be clumsy wherever I am!" But thank you for offering. If only I could.

Allen didn't pull away from Lavi's arms still circling him, and Lavi didn't seem too keen on letting him go either. "I'm just a bit tired, you know, from…um… being ill. Can I crash here for a bit? Just while Tyki is working late…"

Lavi sighed inwardly. He wished Allen would just admit the truth. He also wondered whether Allen truly believed Tyki was working late at the gym, or if he knew what the man was really getting up to. The only thing he could do was help Allen as much as he was allowed. "Sure, you know you're always welcome here. I know Gramps won't mind. He thinks you're a steadying influence." Both of them snorted with amusement at this.

"Thanks Lavi. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Lavi pushed Allen down onto the sofa playfully. "You'd fall to pieces, that's what!" he joked, throwing Allen's discarded shirt over his head. I just wish you'd let me do more…

0o0o0o0o0

Tyki was waiting for him when he arrived home. Allen could only feel a mild sense of surprise at this, he didn't expect him to be home this early, maybe he'd been stood up by his latest squeeze, but nothing that his boyfriend did anymore should surprise him- he was so unpredictable nowadays.

"Where have you been?" were the first words as Allen closed the door wearily behind him.

"Out." Allen knew better than to mention Lavi's name, but his mind was too sluggish to think of an appropriate lie.

Tyki raised an elegant eyebrow. "I can see that. Where have you been?"

Allen sighed. "I just went out for a bit Tyki, that's all. I was fed up of being cooped up in the house like some kind of prisoner."

Tyki actually looked affronted. "A prisoner? Are you saying I'm keeping you here against your will?"

Shit he's getting angry again. Allen shook his head vigorously. "Of course not! It's just I haven't been outside for ages. I fancied a walk. And work rang again today. Because you told them I was ill I now need a doctor's note to prove it." He watched the other man's face carefully, wondering how he was going to solve this problem.

Tyki merely shrugged, apparently unconcerned. "It's your job. You'll figure something out. And if you don't, you'll have more time to spend with me."

Allen frowned, not particularly relishing that prospect at all. He wondered whether it had been Tyki's plan all along.

"And don't try and change the subject, you still haven't told me where you were today."

"I wasn't anywhere in particular, I told you that already." Allen didn't like the way that Tyki was pressing the subject. Something was warning him that he was treading very dangerous ground.

"You were at Lavi's house."

Shit. Allen gulped audibly. "No, I…" He'd suspected he was being followed when he went to see Lavi earlier, but hadn't seen anyone tailing him, and figured he was being paranoid. He now wished he'd just listened to his senses.

"Don't lie to me Allen, I saw you! Do you see me cheating on you?"

Allen opened his mouth to say that if going off and having sex with all those girls didn't count as cheating, then he didn't know what it was, but Tyki got in first. "You can't count all those girls. After all, they can give me something you can't; you can't blame me for that! I'm talking about other men. You're the only man in my life, and this is how you treat me?"

Allen took a nervous step backwards, still shaking his head, not even trying to work through his boyfriend's twisted logic. "It's not like that at all! You have to believe me!"

Tyki sighed, almost regretfully. "But you've already lied to me once this evening. If you'd just told me the truth in the first place I wouldn't have been angry." Allen highly doubted that, but kept his mouth firmly shut, something he'd been doing more and more lately. He wasn't going to argue himself further into trouble. "I was just worried about you. You always seem to enjoy making me worry about you, sneaking about like this, not being here when I got home."

Allen shook his head again. It was starting to make him feel a bit dizzy. "I don't mean to make you worry. Honestly. I thought you were working late, or I would have been here earlier waiting for you."

"You keep saying these things Allen, but you don't learn your lesson. I'll have to make sure it really sinks in this time."

Allen had backed away as far as he could and was now pressed against the kitchen wall with nowhere else to run to. He was still looking for an escape when the first punch landed on the side of his head, sending a burst of small lights flashing on front of Allen's eyes. He staggered sideways slightly, doubling over when Tyki's second fist met his stomach with brutal force, but managed to hold back the cry of pain. He had learned the hard way that making a noise encouraged Tyki to do more, whether he was being beaten or something else… His legs didn't seem to want to support him, though that hardly mattered: Tyki had his forearm across his throat, holding him upright and pressed against the wall while the other fist was rammed repeatedly against his side. He felt at least one rib groan under the pressure, and suspected that, if they hadn't broken, they were at least fractured. He coughed weakly, tasting the metallic tang of blood in his mouth.

A few more well sited punches and Tyki stood back, allowing Allen to slide limply down the wall. The older man crouched in front of him, using Allen's hair as a handle to force him to look him in the eyes.

"This is your final warning. If I find out you've had contact with your precious Lavi again, I'll not only see to you, I'll make sure he regrets ever laying his eye on you. You're mine Allen, and you better remember that."

0o0o0o0o0

Allen stared at himself in the mirror, hardly recognising the person staring back out at him. He's always been paler than most, but the dark, nearly black bruises that covered his skin only served to make him look paler, ghost-like. Deep shadows from lack of sleep ringed his wide, scared-looking eyes, and his face looked pinched and worn, almost ill. He grimaced at his reflection, straining his already cracked lips. And he made his decision. This had to stop. Tyki would never see sense. Over the last few weeks he'd almost come to accept these 'punishments' for things he hadn't done, or ridiculous expectations that he hadn't fulfilled, but Tyki had gone that one step too far. He'd done the one thing that Allen would never stand for. By threatening Lavi, any of his friends, the other man had given Allen that little extra push he needed. And Allen had the motivation he needed to end it.

Damage and declarations

"I want you out Tyki. I've had enough of it. Enough of you. You wouldn't listen to me when I was telling you the truth, and I was used to that, but I will not have you threatening my friends because of your insane jealousy!" Allen glared forcefully across the room, standing over the pile of Tyki's belongings. "I've even packed for you, so you can just leave, and don't come back, ever."

With a sigh he sat down, feeling much better having said all that, but still with an air of defeat about him. He'd been practicing what he wanted to say to Tyki when he finally came home all day, but he still wasn't sure he'd be able to tell him everything he wanted. He'd packed all of Tyki's things earlier to stop him from chickening out, but had still nearly unpacked everything twice already and was on the verge of doing it now when he heard the sound of Tyki's large black car pulling into the drive.

"Shit" Allen looked around quickly, wildly wondering if he'd be able to hide before he came in, but before he could move from his rather conspicuous place in the middle of the room, the door swung open and Allen's soon to be ex-boyfriend sauntered in.

"It's nice to see you're actually here waiting for me, it makes a change-" Tyki stopped dead when he saw the luggage piled up in the middle of the floor and raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Are you going somewhere?"

"No. You are." Allen hoped he sounded braver than he felt. "I've had enough Tyki. I've put up with some crap from you over the years, but this is the final straw." Now he had his chance, Allen was going to make sure he told Tyki exactly what he was thinking.

Tyki's handsome face however showed nothing but amusement. "You're throwing me out? Why? Going to move Lavi in are you?"

Allen threw his hands into the air. "That's exactly my point! I keep telling you there's nothing going on, but you don't believe me! You're jealous of my friends and I can't take it anymore! I want you out, for good."

Instantly Tyki's whole demeanour changed. "You can't break up with me!" He almost sounded on the verge of tears. "I won't let you break up with me!"

0o0o0o0o0

There was a distinctive sickening crunch when Tyki's fist connected with Allen's face, which was still painfully bruised from the day before. Through a dim haze of pain, Allen vaguely registered that his jaw was broken, but all thoughts were driven from his mind as the blows rained down on his body. He desperately tried to fight back, raise his arms to protect his head, shout out, do something to stop the storm of vicious punches and kicks, but he couldn't move, couldn't speak, could only lie there and take a beating that he did not deserve.

"No one…dumps…me…you ungrateful…good for nothing…freak!" Tyki punctuated his sentence with more blows, working himself into a fury as he did so.

Allen choked on the blood filling his mouth as his lungs refused to fill, fighting against his shattered ribs. Tyki seemed to be using his training to full effect, each blow well centred and designed to cause as much damage as possible. He crouched beside Allen's prone form, brushing bloodied white hair from his face and tutting. "Look at you. Who would want you now?" He leaned in closer, conspiratorially. "You're not even attractive. You're grotesque. I was only with you because you were a good lay." He grabbed a handful hair, pulling Allen's head back at an awkward angle. Allen sobbed slightly, his ragged breath catching in his throat.

"You and Lavi deserve each other: a deformed worthless kid and a half-blind freak. I hope you'll be happy" he sneered, using the hair he was gripping to grind Allen's face into the carpet, stunning him. Allen whimpered as his broken jaw was jolted with the movement.

"What's the matter Allen? Does that hurt?" He did it again and again, ignoring the grisly, sickening crunch of bone breaking and the dull impact of flesh-on-floor each time he did it. In a frenzy he pounded Allen's head against the floor repeatedly, only stopping when blood began to fleck his face. He dropped Allen's hair and scuttled back, his mouth open in horror.

"Allen?" He whispered the name, but even if he had shouted there would have been no response. Leaping to his feet, Tyki began gathering his belongings which were still piled in the middle of the room where Allen had so helpfully left them earlier and began transferring into his car. Deciding that calling an ambulance would only delay his escape, he grabbed his keys and ran for his car. Less than thirty seconds later he was gone.

0o0o0o0o0

Time ticked by and Allen remained immobile on the carpet. Slowly his consciousness returned and bit by bit feeling was restored to his body. It was a decidedly unpleasant sensation, though the pain seemed to have died down a little. Considering the amount of blood pooling around him, Allen thought the lack of pain, though welcome, was probably not a good sign.

He managed to raise himself onto his elbows, although his right arm gave a particularly painful protest as he did so, sending shooting pains through his entire body. Breathing hurt, both his chest and jaw complaining with each panting and wheezing gulp of air, and every motion sent dizzying waves of nausea through him as he desperately dragged himself across the carpet, reaching for his mobile phone which must have dropped out of his pocket at some point earlier. His arms gave way inches from the tiny device, fingers scrabbling desperately as he tried to reach it. With one last, energy draining effort, he heaved himself forwards, an odd flopping motion reminiscent of a seal, and finally the phone was within his grasp. He didn't think he had the strength left to press the three numbers needed to contact the emergency services, and instead put his last remaining ounce of energy into pressing the number 2. There was a faint sound of ringing as the speed dial kicked in, but Allen couldn't manoeuvre the phone to his ear. Seconds later he faintly heard a voice answer the other end.

"Allen, finally! I've been waiting forever to hear from you. Tyki said you were ill- again! I guess he didn't tell you I'd spoken to him? Are you alright? Has he done anything else to you?"

"Lavi…" Allen's hoarse voice was little more than a whisper, but it stalled Lavi's excited babbling.

"Allen? Are you ok? Has something happened to you? What's he done this time? I swear, Allen, you can't let him treat you like this anymore! I'm sick of you letting that creep get away with treating you like crap!"

"Lavi… I… help…" Allen whispered, fighting against the black spots crowding his vision and failing badly.

"Are you at home? Allen, please! Tell me what's going on!" Lavi sounded almost desperate.

Allen laughed weakly, the movement causing his broken ribs to grind against each other. "I'm sorry," he mumbled in the general direction of the phone, not knowing whether Lavi could hear him or not. "I…" and then the darkness claimed him completely before he could say anymore.

0o0o0o0o0

"Allen? Allen! For God's sake say something! Don't you dare do this to me!" Lavi bellowed into the phone.

Bookman glanced up, his face calm and impassive despite Lavi's storming. "If you think something's happened, then go" he said simply, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Lavi stood and gaped at him momentarily, before pelting off through the door, leaving it swinging open behind him. Dammit Allen, if something's happened to you, I don't know what I'll do!

0o0o0o0o0

Lavi pounded on Allen's front door, not expecting it to already be open, and he fell forwards as it swung inwards.

"Allen?" he called, suddenly inexplicably nervous. "Are you in here?" He had already noticed the absence of Tyki's smooth black pride and joy in the drive. "Allen?" he called again, taking a tentative step into the kitchen. Tyki's abandoned gym bag lay forgotten on the table. He must have come home and gone out again. Probably on one of his dates with his many girlfriends Lavi thought mulishly as he crept further into the eerily quiet house.

When he pushed open the living room door, he froze on the threshold, his mind refusing to take in the scene before him.

"What the hell?"

He followed the smeared trail of blood across the room, stopping dead when he saw what had caused it.

Allen was stretched out awkwardly on the floor, half hidden by an armchair, the phone he had used to call Lavi still resting loosely in his hand. Lavi couldn't tell if he was breathing even as he fell to his knees beside the motionless figure, dragging his own mobile from his pocket and calling for an ambulance at the same time as trying to locate a pulse from the battered form in front of him.

Allen's eyelids fluttered open and he smiled weakly at his friend. "Hey."

Lavi almost had a heart attack. "Allen, thank goodness. Don't move, there's an ambulance on the way." Lavi clenched his fist at his side, fighting back the rage that threatened to engulf him. "Who did this to you? I need to call the police, they can't get away with this!"

Allen closed his eyes, not wanting to think about what had happened. Eventually he re-opened them, though he still couldn't quite meet Lavi's concerned gaze. "I fell down the stairs" he whispered, knowing that Lavi understood by the way his expression darkened.

Allen coughed feebly, a bubble of blood frothing on his lips. "I tried to throw him out. You were right Lavi, I should have listened…" his voice weakened as he spoke, his pain-clouded grey eyes fixed on a point somewhere beyond Lavi's shoulder.

"Come on Allen, stay with me." Lavi gathered Allen's head into his lap, listening to the approaching sirens as he smoothed the blood tainted hair from Allen's swollen bruised face, being careful of his nose, which he was sure was broken. "Stay with me. You can't leave me Allen, you can't!" His voice verging on panic, Lavi wiped away more blood that gathered in the corner of Allen's mouth.

"It's funny," Allen mumbled, still focused on the ceiling over Lavi's right shoulder. It didn't seem like he was actually aware of what he was saying anymore.

Lavi heard the questioning shout from the paramedic at the door and urgently called them through.

Allen spoke again, eye sliding shut as the paramedics lifted him away from Lavi and began working on him.

"He thought I loved you." He gave a small chuckle, more blood escaping his mouth. Lavi leaned forwards as much as he could, trying to catch Allen's soft words. There were three more words that Lavi heard before an oxygen mask was slipped over Allen's face and he was carefully lifted away. One of the paramedics turned to Lavi. "Are you coming with us son? The police will want a word with you when we get to the hospital."

Lavi nodded stiffly, swallowing past a hard lump that had taken up residence in his throat. "I need to go with him."

"Any of that blood yours?" the paramedic questioned, taking in the scarlet patch covering Lavi's front.

Lavi shook his head mutely; his entire world rocked by the events of the evening, still thinking about Allen's last words, those three words that had stunned Lavi so much.

'He was right.'

Where it all began

He was floating. That was the only way to describe it. Floating. Perhaps he was dead? He certainly felt no pain- just an empty, light feeling, completely weightless. Although, he reasoned if he could feel anything, even if it was just this weightless sensation, could he truly be dead? What did being dead feel like anyway? Did the dead even feel?

A circular argument, he told himself. Whether I am alive or dead, I am floating. What am I floating in? He wondered if he could open his eyes, if he had eyes, and tried to do so, though it didn't help him- his surroundings were as dark as they had been without his eyes. Brilliant, he thought, I'm here, wherever here is, either alive or dead, I'm not sure which, and I'm floating. He gave a hysterical-sounding giggle. Really, now that he thought about it, this floaty-thing wasn't half bad.

0o0o0o0o0

Lenalee handed Lavi a polystyrene cup containing a brown liquid masquerading as coffee. "Sorry, this is the best I can do."

Lavi smiled weakly at her and accepted the cup gratefully. He hadn't slept in days and was running solely on caffeine and polo mints.

"Lavi, they'll let you know if there's a change, but doing this to yourself isn't going to help Allen at all."

He looked at her through his darkly shadowed eye. "I can't leave Lenalee! He needs me! What of he wakes up?"

Lenalee just shook her head. It was not the first time they had had this argument in the week since Allen was admitted. He had lost consciousness in the ambulance en route to the hospital and had yet to awaken.

"His body has been tough a lot- it's put a lot of strain on him, both mentally and physically. His mind has just shut down to give himself chance to heal"a doctor had informed Lavi, who as soon as he had been interviewed by the police, giving them a detailed description of both Tyki and his car, had rushed to Allen's bedside.

He had to keep concentrating on the first thing the doctor had said, not what had followed. The fact that there could be permanent damage… maybe even brain damage… and Allen, if… when he woke up, might never be the same again.

"Just keep talking to him, sometimes coma patients can still hear what's going on around them" a kindly nurse had suggested, so now at every available opportunity Lavi sat by Allen's bed, clutching his hand frantically and begging him to wake up, talking to him about anything and everything, desperate for a response. A week later and he was starting to lose hope.

0o0o0o0o0

"Allen you can't do this to me! You can't drop a bombshell like that and then fall asleep! I heard what you said, and you better wake up and explain when you meant!" Lavi sighed, his grip on Allen's left hand slackening. Lenalee had left an hour ago leaving Lavi to talk to Allen alone. There still had been no change.

The redhead studied Allen's face carefully. The swelling had subsided a little, but the bruising had bloomed into a palate of purples, blues, blacks and browns, with a couple fading to yellow at the edges. His broken jaw had been wired, so, Lavi reflected, he wouldn't be able to say much even if he was awake. "Why Allen? Why didn't you listen to me? Why did you let him do this to you?" He used his free hand to rub his unshaven jaw, casting a saddened, angry look at Allen's battered body, from his twice-broken arm to his stitched and scraped forehead. "Dammit, this is all my fault. I'm sorry Allen, I should have done more to protect you."

0o0o0o0o0

The floaty feeling was rapidly evaporating, and he became distinctly more aware of his body than he had been before. He could feel his arms, and they hurt, especially his right one. His ribs hurt, his face hurt, hell everything hurt! The weightless feeling was leaving him now, and for the first time he could hear a voice. It might have been talking to him, it might not, but it was a welcome distraction from the emerging pain, so he started to listen. The speech was disjointed, fragmented, but the speaker seemed familiar to him… though his sluggish mind refused to put things together for him, so for now he continued to listen.

"I heard what you said, and better wake up and explain when you meant!"

Wake up? He wished it was that easy. Everything hurt so much, it would be so easy to let the darkness take him away.

"Why didn't you listen to me?"

Huh? he thought, straining to recall who the voice belonged to. It was only polite since whoever it was seemed to be talking to him. A cheerful face, flaming red hair, those God-awful boots that never left his feet. A green bandana, an eye patch, so similar to the one he himself had stitched all those years ago. 'Lavi' his mind supplied helpfully after what seemed an eternity.

"I'm sorry Allen, I should have done more to protect you."

"S'no' your faul' La'i he slurred, his broken jaw moving painfully, startling Lavi upright in his chair. Allen closed his left hand around Lavi's that was still resting there. "Shu'a lef' 'ges 'go" he sighed, his eyes still firmly shut

Lavi used his free hand to wipe his suddenly wet eye. "Why now? Why not when he first started beating you?" he asked, trying not to let his anger seep into his tone, no matter how much he wanted to shout and rail at Allen for his stupidity.

"Ty… 'e threa'ened tuh 'urt you. Couldn' le' 'im do tha'" Allen explained wearily.

Lavi grinned, glad that Allen couldn't see his expression. For some reason, that simple clarification made him inexplicably warm. "You must still be tired, and you're hurting, we'll talk more later. I need to tell the doctor that you're awake at last."

Allen made a small noise, perhaps of agreement, but Lavi didn't move straight away, still staring at Allen's bruised face. Eventually, feeling that concerned green eye on him, Allen cracked open his left eye, the right still swollen closed. "La'i?" he asked, confused by his friends behaviour.

Lavi grinned in a comforting way, cuffing away the tears that had begun to leak out without him noticing, reassured by the crack of silver breaking up the sea of black and blue. "I was just worried about you. You've been out for a week… so many things could have been wrong… I'm just glad you're ok." He stood suddenly. "I'll be right back."

Allen groaned- a noise between a cough and a whimper. He was so tired… he might have been sleeping all week, but the darkness was calling him back, and he was desperate to sink back into the painless embrace, though he knew it wouldn't be for as long now.

He noticed that Lavi was still watching him, despite the fact he'd said he was leaving.

"Allen…"

"…" Allen let his eye fall closed, finding it hard to keep looking into that gently probing gaze.

"Did you mean it?" Lavi ventured, uncharacteristically nervous. "Heh, listen to me, like you haven't got enough to worry about right now!" He rubbed the back of his head uncertainly. "Just forget it."

He turned to go, but a soft "La'i" stopped him dead. He looked back at the bed, clearly worried about what Allen would say next.

Allen looked like he was trying to figure out what to say that wouldn't get impeded by the wire. Eventually all he managed was a half strangled, very quiet "yes."

Lavi shook his head, although he knew Allen couldn't see him. "Allen, I… um… just get some rest…we'll talk later." And he fled the room as though the very hounds of hell were after him.

0o0o0o0o0

"You did what!?" screeched Lenalee in disbelief, gaping in a very unladylike manner at him. Lavi just hung his head and shuffled his feet awkwardly. "I can't believe you! After all he's been through, he confesses he has feelings for you and you run away!"

"I didn't run away!" snapped Lavi indignantly, but wavered under Lenalee's hard stare. "Ok, maybe I did. But the kid wasn't thinking straight, he'd only just woken up after a traumatic experience, he didn't know what he was saying!"

Lenalee continued to tap her foot, her arms folded across her chest and her face set into a scowl that didn't look right on her normally pleasant face. She raised an eyebrow, as though daring Lavi to continue to lie to her.

"I'm the last thing he wants or needs right now. He's gonna need some time to himself to get back to normal- he's not been himself every since he first started going out with that jerk" Lavi continued desperately trying to find an excuse that Lenalee would be happy with.

Her other eyebrow rose. "Do you want a shovel to help you dig that hole?" she asked with a perfectly straight face. Then she sighed and let her arms drop to her sides. "I'm going to tell you something, and you are not to tell Allen I said anything, got it?"

Lavi looked intrigued and opened his mouth instantly to agree, but the young woman cut him off. "I mean it Lavi, I know you suck at keeping secrets, but this is important. Besides, if you do let this slip, well, I'm sure my brother would love to know about all those other times you rang me up for a bit of fun…especially when he learns you only did it to forget another man… imagine what he'd think of that." And she smirked, watching the colour drain from his face.

He nodded swiftly. He was sure this was one secret he could keep, if only to keep himself alive. "Sure, you know me, I always keep my word."

She didn't look convinced, but decided that Lavi knowing what she did was more important. "Allen came to me… it must be nearly a year ago now… because he was in a steady relationship, but had developed feelings for someone else and had no idea what to do about it."

XxXxXxXxX

"Lenalee! I really need your help!" Allen had burst into the coffee shop like something possessed, eyes seeking out the Chinese girl. She waved him to a table.

"I'll be over in a minute" she called as she delivered an order to a nearby table.

When she sat down ten minutes later, Allen was a complete mess, wringing his hands pathetically and looking around him as though he expected everyone to be staring at him. It was true he was attracting a few looks, but most of those were the usual once overs his white hair and scar drew, and would usually be ignored by the teen. This time however it seemed to be making him a nervous wreck. Lenalee shot a few glares at a few of the more openly ogling customers before turning back to her friend. "So, what can I do for you?" she asked, taking in his dishevelled appearance.

At first he said nothing, even when she said his name to get his attention. Eventually though he started speaking.

"Is it… wrong… to feel attracted to someone who considers you to be a… brother?" he asked haltingly.

Lenalee cocked her head to one side. "I thought you were going out with someone?"

"I am, and Tyki…well, he's great, he's really nice and kind and sensitive, I don't deserve him," though there was something in his eyes that didn't quite match the words coming from his mouth, but he blinked and the oddly shuttered look was gone. "But… there's someone else that I've liked for a while. At first I thought it was just a stupid crush… but it hasn't gone away after all this time… in fact, it's got worse. I don't think it's just a crush anymore, and I don't know what to do!"

Now Lenalee wasn't stupid, and the things that Allen had said… someone he's liked for a while, who thought of him as a brother… well, there was her, though she doubted he'd be coming to her with the problem if that was the case, and a certain redhead who also happened to have a little fixation on the cute white-haired teen sitting before her. She smirked to herself, this would be perfect, if only she could get confirmation. "I'm flattered really Allen, but you know I really do think of you as a brother and that will never change."

He gaped at her stupidly for a few moments, his mouth opening and closing like a demented fish. "Lenalee…" he began, then flushed red. "It's not you I'm talking about… it's… not… well… I… I'M GAY!" he exclaimed a little too loudly, drawing everyone in the café's attention back to him and making a stunned silence fall throughout the establishment. He cleared his throat nervously, hiding behind the curtain of his white hair.

"I knew that Allen, I was just teasing" chuckled the girl, patting his gloved hand in a friendly comforting manner. "So… Lavi." He looked up, shock written on his features. She scoffed at him. "I'm not an idiot Allen. Have you ever thought of just telling him?"

He shook his head sadly. "He's my best mate, we've grown up together. He thinks of me as his little brother… I can't… he… he'll think I'm some kind of sick freak if I tell him… I can't spoil it by telling him… I can't lose what we have."

"But he might feel the same way" ventured the girl, desperate to convince Allen that Lavi would not reject him, but the boy shook his head.

"No, thanks Lenalee, I know you're trying to make me feel better. Anyway, I can't do that. Tyki already thinks something's going on between Lavi and me… and if he found out… well, I can't lose both of them, I wouldn't be able to take it." He shook his head again. "Thanks Lenalee, just talking to someone helped a lot. Just, do me a favour? Don't say anything to Lavi about this, please."

She smiled unhappily, but nodded her promise, before adding something she wondered if she should voice at all. "Allen… did you know Tyki goes out a lot with girls in the evenings?"

He turned heart-breakingly sad eyes on her. "Yes" was all he said before leaving the coffee shop to the accompaniment of the cheerful tinkling of the bell above the door.

XxXxXxXxX

Lavi just stared at her, blinking a few times as he tried to process what she had said. He cleared his throat and attempted to speak, taking a couple of tries before anything would come out of his mouth. "A year?"

"That's when he told me, but he says he stared to feel like that about you years ago."

Lavi shook his head. "He couldn't have done…" he whispered, his voice sounding strained and on the point of cracking.

"Why?"

"Because if that's true, I could have stopped all this. If I'd told him how I felt… I could have prevented this from happening…" He clenched his fists at his sides, before it all came too much and he punched the table in fury. "Dammit!"

"Lavi… it's not your fault… Allen wouldn't want you blaming yourself…"

"Not my fault?" he croaked, turning to face her, green eye boiling with so many emotions, sadness, guilt, self-loathing, and a furious hatred of the man that had caused this. "Do you know why Tyki did this?" he asked. He hadn't told her the full story, not wanting to face the guilt that came with it, but he was beyond holding anything back at this point, driven half-crazy by Lenalee's divulgence. "Allen was going to finally throw that bastard out. Throw him out of the house and out of his life. You know why? Because the fucking asshole threatened me! Threatened to hurt me if Allen tried anything. Allen took that beating because he was protecting me!" Tears began to fall, but the emotional redhead paid them no heed as he stormed around, ready to lash out at anything, but wanting to hurt the one that had done this damage more than anything else.

Lenalee sat with her hands over her mouth, shaking her head in disbelief. Poor Allen, poor Lavi… the guilt must have been eating away at him… She held out her hand to him, catching his arm as he spun round, pacing the small space between tables, radiating fury like heat. "Go to him" was all she said.

The Truth

Allen stared at the ceiling, feeling utterly miserable. It was exactly like he had said to Lenalee that day in the coffee shop where she worked. He confessed to Lavi, and was now alone. All it had taken was one little word, and Lavi had done a runner, not even looking back as he fled the hospital. Allen wondered if he'd ever see his best friend again. He decided not. Lavi wouldn't want to lay eyes on him after this. At that thought, the tears began to fall, soaking the brace across his nose and the bandages wrapped around his face as they ran down his cheeks and into his hair. He couldn't even make any proper noise as the wire holding his jaw together made sobbing painful, and couldn't wipe them away since he couldn't reach his face with either his broken right arm, wrapped securely in plaster, or his left which had three separate IVs running into it and couldn't be moved without setting off a whole series of alarms. Perfect. Not only was he now alone, he was pathetic, perfectly useless. No wonder no one wanted him around. He'd have entertained the thought of suicide had he not even been able to move. He really was pathetic. The only other option left was to go to sleep. Sleep, and hope he never woke up again.

Lavi poked his head into the ward, hoping not to run into the scary matron as he manoeuvred his way to Allen's room. He reached it without incident, though he wondered what would happen if he was caught- it wasn't strictly visiting time yet, after all, and opened the door to Allen's room quietly, sliding through the gap so as not to attract any attention from the staff.

He breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed with a gentle click, squaring his shoulders and turning towards the bed, ready to declare all and beg forgiveness from the figure there. The only problem was, the figure was asleep. Typical.

He sat down in the chair next to the bed, folding his arms on the mattress and resting his chin on them, looking at the still face of his friend critically. The bandages were slightly damp and there was a fading flush hidden beneath the bruises. Allen had been crying, and not too long ago it seemed. Lavi wondered what had caused the tears… who had caused the tears. He hoped to God that Allen hadn't been crying because of him… Allen had been through enough already at his expense.

He waited in the silence of the room, which was broken only once by a nurse coming in to check on Allen. She didn't seem surprised to see Lavi there, offering him a small smile as she took Allen's blood pressure. The smile flickered as she read the result, and she set the machine up to do it again, taking Allen's temperature, pulse rate and blood oxygen levels as she waited.

"Is something wrong?" Lavi asked, half rising from his seat.

"His blood pressure is a little low, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about" she said calmly, though something in her eyes didn't sit well with him. "After all, he's not doing an awful lot, it's bound to be a little lower than it would be usually."

Lavi was far from stupid, and saw when the numbers flashed up on the little screen that Allen's blood pressure was more than a little lower than usual, but he said nothing, and neither did the nurse as she jotted something down in Allen's notes, replacing them at the foot of his bed and leaving, perhaps a little faster than she would normally. Lavi wasted little time in grabbing the folder from its place and flicking through it. Temperature… 35.7oc, blood oxygen levels… 93%, pulse rate… 54 bpm… shit… Lavi looked up at the figure on the bed, biting his bottom lip worriedly. Just what was going on? He replaced the notes just before the nurse came back in with a senior colleague, who picked up the folder herself. She frowned at the readings, looking between the folder and Allen, talking in quick hushed tones to the other nurse, before they both left, this time taking the folder with them.

0o0o0o0o0

Lavi had seen enough of this room in the past few weeks to last him a lifetime. Not once since he had come back to see Allen and tell him everything had his friend even opened his eyes. He sat in the uncomfortable chair at Allen's bedside, watching his face worriedly. The brace over his nose had gone, leaving only a small ridge of bone to show it had ever been broken, and the wire over his jaw had been removed. If Allen woke up, he'd have been able to speak, able to eat normally again, something that would undoubtedly please the gluttonous boy, but the problem was, he showed no signs of waking at all. The oxygen tubes in his nasal passages had raised his blood oxygen levels, and the heated blanket had done wonders for his core temperature, but still his heart thudded along at a torturously slow rate, and his eyes remained firmly shut against the world.

The weeks had healed his bruises, his split lip was once again whole and even his arm would be out of its cast in a couple of days. The only thing that remained to show anything of what Allen had gone through was a couple of small white scars, visible only by the fact they were shiny against Allen's pallid skin, one on his forehead and the other on his cheek. That and the hidden scar left by the surgery to remove the broken end of rib that had been floating freely in his chest.

The medical staff were growing increasingly concerned- there did not seem to be any explanation for Allen's state. He was healthy, insomuch as he was breathing unaided, and still had perfect brain functions… he was just… sleeping, and nothing seemed to be able to wake him. The popular theory was after everything he'd gone through, Allen had just had enough, and had fallen into this state rather than face the consequences of everything that had happened to him. So far there was nothing else that could be found that would explain everything.

Lavi sighed. The last few weeks, he had spent almost all of his free time at Allen's bedside, but his grandfather had pointed out that morning that Allen may never wake up, and Lavi couldn't waste his life away waiting for something that might never happen. He had been angry at the old man for that, but deep down, he knew it was true. Eventually he was going to have to face facts and move on with his life.

"I'm sorry Allen" he said, his voice hoarse and heavy as he grasped the still left hand resting on the sheets, the skin a startling contrast with the rest of his body, which was almost indistinguishable from the white covers. "I wish I'd done something sooner." He'd lost count of the number of times he'd said this lately, but it was all he could do, hoping his words would get through the haze that had enveloped the younger man's mind and draw him back out. "I can't wait for you to wake up," he continued, his voice hitching as he thought that it might never happen. "There's a brilliant new game out that I know I can thrash you at!" He laughed, if only to keep himself from crying. "Though I know you'll be better than me in no time. You always are. How do you do that?" He ran his hands up and down Allen's arm in an unconscious gesture. "There's also a new horror movie out next week. I'd love to go and see it with you, I know how much you hate those things, but I love it when you scream like a girl and hang onto me…" He trailed off, lost in his thoughts for a few minutes, watching the slow, yet steady spikes of Allen's heart rate flash across the screen. "God Allen, please wake up! I can't carry on like this! Everyone's ready to give up on you, but I know you're still in there. I know what happened was really bad, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but you can't let that bastard take you away from me! However bad it is, we can get through it, both of us, together." He let his head fall onto the mattress with a sigh, his arms flopping out to the sides and the tears he'd been able to hold back 'til now beginning to fall unheeded as he gave himself over to his grief. He was so absorbed in his turbulent emotions that he didn't register the quickening of the heart monitor.

Allen was not very happy. He had been enjoying a perfectly wonderful dream when something yanked rather painfully on his nether-regions. In fact, the sensation was so profoundly uncomfortable, it hauled him unceremoniously from the deep sleep he'd been enjoying, one where nothing from the outside world even registered in his mind to a state of sleep where he could hear everything that was going on around him, no matter how he tried to ignore it. This annoyed him a lot, since he didn't want to know what was going on around him. The world held no interest for his anymore, so he thought it highly unfair that his blissful oblivion had been disturbed by that infernal tugging. What the hell was that anyway? He tried to work it out, but his mind wasn't joining the dots in a way that made any sense, so he concluded that the only way to get any peace around this place was to open his eyes, stop whatever was doing that and get back to ignoring the world as it moved on without him. A perfectly sound plan, until he cracked open his eyes to find that the tugging was Lavi, but not in anyway that he would enjoy. No, the stupid prick was leaning on his catheter tube. Bloody hell…of all the stupidly ridiculous things!

He attempted to tell Lavi to move his Goddamn arm and let him get back to just forgetting everything that had happened to him. Unfortunately, a combination of the oxygen being forced down his throat and a lack of anything else going in the same direction lately meant his throat was completely dry and uncooperative. He thought about whacking Lavi with his right arm- it was still in a lovely hard cast after all, when a couple of things stopped him dead.

One- Lavi was crying. Which in itself was rather odd. Allen couldn't really remember a time when Lavi had cried, save for those first weeks when they had first met.

Two- Lavi was holding his hand. Very nice and all, but it did mean that Allen was now blushing. Damn, that was embarrassing. Why was he holding his hand?

And three- He was also talking. Sure, it was quiet and obviously not really meant to be heard by anyone, but he was still talking. What was more, he was talking to Allen, apparently not having realised that the other man had woken up.

"I'm sorry" Lavi repeated tiredly for what felt like the hundredth time. "If only I'd come back earlier, not gone to talk to Lenalee, but I was so confused! I thought you were just saying that, I'd never once thought, never imagined… I thought you'd hate me, I thought you considered us brothers, that you'd think I was disgusting… If only I'd not left in the first place, maybe you wouldn't be like this… if I'd told you all those years ago… God I'm so stupid! I am so, so stupid!" Lavi sighed brokenly, moving the hand that had been clutching Allen's to rub his tired eye. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"I might, if you moved your bloody arm off of my catheter."

"Oh, sorry… I didn't even notice…" Lavi sat up suddenly, both his arms off the bed (thankfully ending the uncomfortable pressure on Allen's bladder), staring at Allen as though he was an alien. Allen blinked blearily at him, his throat aching from forcing it to speak, albeit in a rough, scratchy way that sounded nothing like himself.

"You… you're awake!"

Allen rolled his eyes, deciding that until he got at least a drink of water, he wasn't going to attempt speech again. Congratulations, Captain Obvious. Suddenly he found himself with an armful of very emotional redhead, who was sobbing brokenly into his shoulder.

"Oh God Allen, we thought you were never going to wake up! Everyone was ready to give up on you, but I knew it. I knew you'd come back to me eventually!"

Allen awkwardly patted Lavi's back with his left hand, feeling a little guilty at worrying his friend, glad that Lavi was there and hadn't decided to never see him again. He sniffed a little, trying to stall his own tears. Maybe being Lavi's little brother wouldn't be so bad.

"I can't believe you did that! I'm so sorry I ran away, Lenalee talked some sense into me, but by the time I'd come back, you were asleep, and then you wouldn't wake up. I've waited weeks! Weeks for you to open your eyes again."

Allen blinked a couple of times, trying to process Lavi's rapid-fire babbling. Then he looked down, an apologetic expression crossing his face. I'm sorry Lavi.

"You idiot, there's nothing for you to be sorry for! It's me who should be apologising" Lavi exclaimed as he tenderly wiped away Allen's fallen tears. "This is my fault, if I hadn't been so stupid and told you how I felt when I first realised…"

What? Allen frowned in confusion. What was Lavi saying sorry for?

"I don't think I've ever thought of you as my brother, Allen. Somehow, I've always know you were something more to me."

Allen flushed red as he listened to Lavi, but not daring to hope at what Lavi was truly saying. Instead he glanced around the room, spotting a jug of water on the table at his bedside. He pointed at it meaningfully.

As Lavi turned away to pour a glass of water, he cleared his throat nervously, not at all like his normal self, but what about this whole situation was normal? He took a deep breath, turning back and offering Allen the glass with trembling fingers. "I should have told you before, so none of this ever happened. I… I'm in love with you, Allen, and I have been for years." He looked at the wall next to Allen's bed as though it showed the secrets of the universe, anything so he wouldn't see the expression of horror that had surely crossed Allen's face… surely the last thing he wanted now was another relationship after the way the last one had ended. Allen didn't need this right now… He turned back to his friend as the glass was lifted from his hand.

Allen took a small sip, wetting his parched throat. He knew what he wanted to say, what he wanted to do… but could he do it? His next move would change both of their lives forever. He drained the rest of the water gratefully, still not looking at his friend's face, before dropping the empty glass onto the bedcovers and fixing Lavi with a determined look. Lavi flinched, waiting for the inevitable rejection that would follow, and closed his eye so he wouldn't have to see that beloved face deliver the sentence that would most likely drive him over the edge. His eye flew open when, instead of a slap or punch to his face, he received a soft caress, Allen's hand running over his cheek gently, tenderly, before running behind his head and tangling in the flaming locks, drawing him forward.

Oh my Go- "mph" the last of his thought transferred to his mouth, becoming a muffled sound as their lips met, Allen's dry, chapped ones moving against his own. He found he couldn't keep his eye open, allowing it to slide shut as he gave over to the sensation. He'd often fantasised about this, but none of his dreams had come near to giving it justice. The angle was awkward, and Allen hadn't brushed his teeth in weeks, his lips dry from the sterilized hospital air, but it couldn't have been more perfect. Lavi grasped a handful of white locks as he pulled Allen closer, encouraging him to open his mouth.

Allen groaned slightly as he gave himself over to the feeling. It was so much better than he'd imagined it would be. He'd often imagined Lavi in Tyki's place, just to get through the act without being sick, but this was completely different. The redheads tongue slid against his own, mapping out the interior of his mouth and not recoiling in the slightest, even though Allen knew it couldn't have been the most pleasant of tastes. A calloused hand stroked over his jaw, gently, as though its owner knew how tender the area still was, before Lavi drew away, slowly, as though he couldn't bare to do it, and rested his forehead against Allen's pale one, looking into shining silver eyes.

"I love you too. I have for so long, but…. I didn't know how to tell you" whispered Allen, his voice somewhat restored to normal by the water.

"Dammit, we're both idiots" Lavi said, placing a quick peck on Allen's lips, once, twice before claiming his mouth again, moving his lips against those of the younger man as though he'd been doing this all his life. And damn, he wished he had.

"That's so hot" whispered one of the nurses as she peeked through the window in the door of Allen's room.

The nurse next to her nodded in agreement, unable to speak thought the wadge of tissues clutched at her nose to catch the blood.

Endings and beginnings

ONE WEEK LATER

Allen reclined against the sofa that he'd spent so much time on over the years. He hadn't been able to face going back to Cross' house, and found that Bookman had no problems with him moving in with him and Lavi. It wasn't like he'd be taking up an extra bedroom after all.

Lavi laughed quietly somewhere behind him, wrapping his arms around the dozing figure on his couch. "How do you feel?"

"Tired. Stiff." Allen opened an eye slightly. "Better now you're back" he smiled dopily, showing how tired he truly was.

Lavi smiled in response, still surprised at how good such a simple sentence could make him feel. "I got the stuff you wanted, so you don't have to go back there at all until you're ready."

"Thank you, it means a lot to me" Allen replied, tipping his head back and looking at Lavi from his upside-down position.

Lavi couldn't resist placing a small kiss on the slightly crooked nose, rubbing his own against it gently. "There was a message from the police on the answering machine. They still need your statement."

Allen cringed slightly, his head dropping and his eyes falling to gaze unseeingly at the floor. "I… can't. I can't do it, Lavi."

The red head came around the settee and sat down next to Allen, one arm around the smaller man's shoulders and the other gripping his chin, forcing him to look at him. "I know it will be difficult, but you really need to do this so it can't happen to anyone else. Without your testimony they had to let him go… he's still out there, and we need to make sure he gets banged up for a long, long time."

Allen had started shaking his head before Lavi had even finished. "No, I just need to stay here, where he can't get to me. I can't face him again, Lavi."

"You won't have to, you know. They can do it by video link, so you won't even have to be in the same room as him. I won't force you, but you were nearly… he came so close to taking you away from me… I just don't want that to happen to someone else."

Allen's shoulders slumped. Dammit, but Lavi was right. Nobody should have to go through what he did… and it could have been so different. He leaned over and rested his head on Lavi's arm. "Ok."

Lavi smiled slightly, kissing his forehead tenderly. "We'll get through this, put it all behind us. Then you can get on with the rest of your life."

0o0o0o0o0

The policewoman was very nice and very kind, but that didn't help ease the situation one bit.

"What do you mean, 'you can't find him'?" asked Lavi angrily, clasping Allen's hand in his own. The younger man had fallen silent at the news, looking terrified, his skin an odd ashen grey colour and his eyes, when they were open, were wide and scared.

"Tyki Mikk has vanished. He gave the officers who were monitoring him the slip and we have been unable to relocate him" she explained in her calm measured tones.

"So he could be anywhere?" snarled Lavi, regretting his raised voice as he felt Allen flinch beside him. He rubbed Allen's shoulder reassuringly. "What are you doing about it?"

"Our best officers are looking for him. We'll know if he comes anywhere near any of his old haunts."

"But… but he still could… could come here?" Allen asked, opening his eyes long enough to flash a petrified look at the WPC.

"No, there's no way he'll be able to get anywhere near this house" she said encouragingly, patting Allen on the knee.

"Are you sure about that?" Lavi asked firmly, wanting a definite answer from the policewoman.

"There are officers in the area, if he even thinks about coming here, we'll be on him like acne on a teenager" she said with a small smile.

Lavi nodded, satisfied. "See, Allen? There's no way he can get you, you're perfectly safe here."

The woman nodded. "Of course, he might not even attempt to come to see you, this is just a precaution." She stood, giving them both a smile. "Alright , I'll be off." Lavi made to stand but she stopped him. "I'll see myself out, just look after him" she instructed nodding in Allen's direction.

Lavi smiled gratefully. "Will do. Thank you."

She gave a cheery wave before disappearing through the door, shutting it firmly behind her.

Lavi turned Allen to face him. "You ok?"

"I should never have made a statement. He'll come here to get me to drop it, I know he will."

"Only if he's incredibly stupid" Lavi said frankly, pulling the younger man to him and wrapping his arms around the thin frame. "Are you hungry?"

Allen shook his head. "No I don't think I could eat anything right now."

"Alright. Why don't you try and get some sleep? I've got to pop out for an hour, but gramps will be back in a little bit, so you won't be alone for long."

Allen considered his options. He still didn't feel up to leaving the house, but any time alone in the house made him nervous. Finally he decided that if he was asleep, he wouldn't notice the solitude, and nodded, accepting the kiss the Lavi pressed to his mouth, but not really responding, his mind in turmoil.

Lavi pulled away, his face twisting with worry. Ever since Allen had made a statement to the police about what had happened nearly three months ago, he'd been different. Nervous, quiet, nothing like he'd been before all this mess started, not even like he'd been in the hospital in the days after he'd woken and they'd both confessed. Lavi was starting to wonder if this was truly what Allen wanted after all. "See you in a bit then" he said by way of farewell before grabbing his jacket and closing the door behind him with a snap.

Allen lay back on the sofa, burying his head in the cushions, hoping sleep would claim him quickly.

0o0o0o0o0

Allen wasn't sure what had woken him up, but as soon as he opened his eyes he realised just how late it had become. A blanket was tucked tenderly around him; Lavi must have decided not to wake him when he got back, and the thought made Allen smile slightly.

"Glad to see you've got over me" hissed a voice in the darkness. "Didn't take you too long did it?"

Allen froze in fear; he'd never wanted to hear that voice ever again. He glanced around nervously, seeking out the source of the words.

A hand lunged from behind them and covered his mouth, stifling any noise that Allen could make, a dark head coming to rest against his pale cheek and breathing in his ear. "I knew you were doing something with the Cyclops behind my back" the voice growled in his ear, the grip of Tyki's hand tightening around his face.

Allen shook his had, disagreeing with Tyki's statement vehemently, unable to get any words out through the hand gripping his face.

"Allen, Allen, Allen, you know how I feel about you lying to me" tutted the tanned man, running his free hand through Allen's sleep-mussed hair and down his right arm, slipping under Allen's t-shirt.

Allen wiggled violently; trying to free himself from the unwanted grip, trying to bite the hand covering his mouth, but with no luck- Tyki's hand was just in the wrong place to get a decent grip. Instead he growled, panting heavily through his nose and glancing around the room wildly, looking for something he could use against his attacker.

Tyki smirked. "Nu-huh, don't even think about it."

Allen struggled again, but Tyki had always been bigger and stronger and he was still weakened from his long stay in hospital.

"Now then, what should I do with you? You aren't going to withdraw your statement are you?" he asked, not really expecting an answer, well, he wasn't going to get one since his hand was still gagging the smaller man. "I need to get away from here, you know, it's all your fault. So you could at least give me something to remember you by." The older man ran his tongue up the side of Allen's face, making him struggle again. "Now then, none of that" Tyki admonished, his lips brushing against Allen's anger-flushed cheek as he spoke. "Besides, we need to keep quiet if we don't your little one-eyed lover to come rushing in, don't we, after all, I'd hate to see him get hurt."

Allen froze again at Tyki's words, too angry and shocked to keep fighting against the man who restrained him so effectively with such a simple grip and a few well chosen words.

Still keeping a tight grip on Allen's face, just in case he did try and shout out, Tyki turned the younger man to face him. "You aren't going to get him involved, are you?" Allen shook his head, dropping his eyes to the floor despondently. He was so weak… but if it meant Lavi was safe, he'd take anything this bastard had to offer. "Good" murmured the other man, deeming it safe to remove his hand as he whipped Allen's t-shirt over his head, using the material to hold Allen's arms together behind his back. He grabbed a discarded glove from the arm of the chair and balled it up, roughly shoving the material into Allen's mouth. "Just in case" he smirked, dragging Allen off the sofa and onto the floor in front of it. "You earned this you little slut" Tyki whispered, situating himself on Allen's body, ignoring how awkward the position must have been to the younger man with his arms behind him. "And when I've finished with you, I'm going to leave you here for that little freak to find in the morning. You'll be dead, he'll be heartbroken, and I'll be miles away." Tyki chuckled quietly as Allen gave a feebly struggle against his bonds. "It'll do you no good, you might as well accept it."

0o0o0o0o0

Allen wiggled again, the motion looking like he was struggling against his bonds while he was actually rooting down into his back pocket of his jeans for his mobile phone. He finally managed to pull it free from the denim confines without Tyki noticing anything, sliding it open slowly- he couldn't remember whether he's put it on vibrate earlier or if the movement would make that annoying tinkle it did when it was slid open. Thankfully there was silence. He fumbled with it, pressing the speed dial that would connect him to Lavi's phone, and hoping to god his friend had the device upstairs with him.

The obnoxious jingle of Lavi's ring tone didn't sound on the lower floor, so Allen assumed it meant it was upstairs with its owner. However, Tyki was being unhelpfully quiet as he busied himself with Allen's fly, and if Lavi was going to realise what was happening in the room below his own, there need to be some noise for the phone to pick up. He struggled again, using the motion to disguise him moving his phone from under his body so it could pick up more sound, then attempted to kick Tyki hard with his unbound feet.

"You little bastard!" Tyki growled lowly, pressing more of his weight on Allen's legs even as he slipped his hand into Allen's pants. Allen struggled in earnest, trying to get away from those invading fingers, but it only served to make Tyki smirk wider. "You know, it's a shame I've had to gag you, you make the most delicious noises I've ever heard." He leaned forward slightly as his motions below the waist made Allen arch upward, allowing his lips to meet Allen's nose, noticing the evidence of the break for the first time. "Oh, did I do that?" he asked, though he knew the answer.

Allen fixed him with an angry glare, renewing his attempts to break free, knowing there was no chance of escape. He tilted his head back so he wouldn't have to look Tyki in the face, something he'd done many times when Tyki had had him pinned down like this, and noticed the small red light on the main landline phone was on, signalling that someone was using one of the other handsets in the house. Despite his situation, he grinned slightly, Lavi it seemed had got the message and was contacting the police now. All Allen had to do was keep Tyki occupied long enough for them to arrive.

Despite not ever wanting to encourage the older man pinning him down, Allen let a small, muffled sound escape the gag, hoping to keep Tyki's attention fixed on him long enough for the police to come charging in. The red light had gone off, and he sincerely hoped that Lavi wouldn't come down and try and interfere. The last thing he needed was Tyki attacking his best friend.

Tyki looked down at him curiously. "Could it be you're actually enjoying this?" he questioned, moving his hand in a more purposeful way, and Allen obligingly made a strangled sounding moan of pleasure, all the while desperately trying to ignore who was doing this to him.

Tyki pulled the glove-gag free, but before Allen could even think of making a noise, a knife was at his throat. "Make one wrong move, and I swear I'll kill you now. I want my bit of fun, but I'm, not above killing you first."

Allen nodded slowly, trying not to force the sharp blade into his skin as he swallowed nervously. This was not part of the plan... Where the hell were the police?

Tyki was attempting to single-handedly pull Allen's trousers down, the other occupied with keeping the knife pressed against Allen's neck. "Oh dear, would you look at that. I forgot to bring my lube" said Tyki, not sounding apologetic in the slightest.

Allen winced; he'd hoped the police would have arrived before it got to this point. Being rescued by a bunch of men with guns with his trousers round his ankles did hold much fun for him either. He tried to keep the noise of pain behind his teeth as Tyki pushed in, but he must have made some sound, for the knife twitched irritably at his throat in warning. He nodded slightly, showing he understood the warning, but still could not hold the gasp inside as Tyki began to move, rough and hard and not lubricated at all. Allen felt the unpleasant, excruciating sensation of tearing and choked back the scream of pain, instead groaning quietly through clenched teeth.

The there was nothing but banging, shouting and the sharp retort of a gun firing. Allen watched in horror as Tyki's face froze in pain, his pupils contracting slightly, before expanding, dilating to the point where the gold was lost to black, before he slumped forward, the knife clattering from his numb senseless fingers.

"Allen!" Lavi charged down the stairs and flung a blanket over his friends exposed form as police officers bustled in, dragging away Tyki, whether he was alive or dead, neither boy knew or cared, and another untied Allen's arms from his t-shirt carefully.

"Lavi!" cried Allen, flinging his arms around his friends neck, burying his face in the familiar scent of Lavi's shoulder as the tears began to fall.

Lavi returned the embrace, squeezing Allen tightly. "That was some trick with the phone. I would have come straight down, but gramps got me in a headlock. I guess it was for the best" he added, averting his eyes from the now proclaimed dead man covered with a sheet on the other side of the room.

"Thanks" Allen muttered as he tried to pull away, embarrassed by his tears and he state he had been found in.

"There's nothing to thank me for" Lavi said, not letting the smaller body move away. "I'd do anything for you, you know that." Tentatively, slowly, he put a hand under Allen's chin, raising his face so he could look into those watery grey eyes. "And I really mean it." And he leaned forward , kissing him gently, softly, in a way to not startle the already traumatised and in pain man in his arms, but Allen had other idea, flinging both arms tightly around Lavi's neck and bringing him closer, deepening the kiss eagerly.

"I know" he said as he pulled away, blushing a little at his actions. He pulled the blanket further around him. "Urgh, I need a shower."

Lavi winked. Well, at least Allen assumed it was a wink. "Need a hand?"

Allen chuckled, his throat feeling abused and raw, though that was nothing compared to the feeling coming from his backside. "I think I've had all the hand I can handle for tonight" he groaned as he stood, wobbling a little.

Lavi looked abashed, as though he hadn't been thinking when he made the comment.

"Relax Lavi, I was joking. I don't think I'll be able to get upstairs alone right now anyway."

"I'll go one better" replied Lavi with a grin and hefted the smaller man into his arms, making his way upstairs after telling Bookman where they were going, leaving it to the old man to get things sorted with the police. He shut the bathroom door with his foot, placing his cargo on the open toilet seat so as not to put any added pressure on Allen's injuries, before flicking on the shower. He hardly dared to turn around, knowing that below the blanket Allen was naked. They may have confessed their love, but Lavi's uncharacteristic nervousness and Allen's general state of health, both physically and mentally had meant that they had shared nothing but passionate kisses, light touches and lingering looks since Allen had moved in. This… this was completely different.

Allen cleared his throat, too drained to think over the consequences. "Lavi, can you help me? I don't think I can stand up properly."

Lavi swallowed and turned back round, trying to keep his eye anywhere but on Allen's body.

"Lavi…" Allen said quietly, drawing the redhead's attention to his face. "I love you" and he kissed him, swiftly claiming the other man's lips as he wrapped his arms around the taller man's neck. "Don't get shy on my now, it's nothing you haven't seen before" he said as he pulled away, rather reluctantly. He felt so… safe… in Lavi's arms, and knew there was no where else he'd rather be, but for now, there were more pressing matters. "Please, can you help me? I'm tired and just want to get cleaned and go to bed."

Lavi nodded, understanding the boundaries. Touching in the shower was obviously a no-no, but Allen didn't seem adverse to a bit of cuddling in bed afterwards.

0o0o0o0o0

THREE WEEKS LATER

"It's finally over" Allen sighed, slinging an arm casually over Lavi's bare chest, their legs entangled beneath the thick quilt thrown over the bed, the October chill kept at bay by the heat of two bodies.

"Finally" agreed Lavi, running a hand over Allen's left arm. "I'm glad you're okay now."

"Sure I'm okay, why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, he may have been a bastard but he was a big part of your life for all those years."

Allen chuckled. "Don't remind me. I'm glad he's gone, and this way, he can't ever hurt anyone again." Allen rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling. "Besides, I've got something even better now."

Lavi raised his eyebrows, both visible since he had removed the patch last night. "And what might that be?"

"Bookman" said Allen without hesitating. "He's a wonderful cook."

Lavi shoved him.

"You know that I'm talking about you, stop fishing for compliments" Allen grinned at the redhead, and the pout on Lavi's face vanished instantly. "Though Bookman's cooking is good."

"Ha ha, very funny" said Lavi, rolling onto his side to see Allen better. "So…" he said, a lecherous smirk plastering itself on his features. "If I can't fish for compliments, do you have something else in mind?" he asked as he slid below the covers.

"Pervert" said Allen, though it held no venom.

He was content, happier than he could remember being for years. The past was behind him, the future was ahead, and he was starting this life with a new beginning. One currently using his mouth for something other than eating.

He had wondered if he would cry at Tyki's funeral, which he had attended just to reassure himself that the arsehole was dead and would not be coming back. Ever. But he had found he had no tears to shed. This chapter of his life was closed forever, and a new one was opening before him. His whole life had changed in the space of one single shining moment when his best friend had told him he was in love with him. And he wouldn't change anything for the world.

"Stop thinking! I can practically hear the cogs turning! You're ignoring me!" came a muffed voice whinging from below the covers. Well, maybe there were some things he'd change if he could…

Alright, I know that absolutely sucked. Tyki was so OOC (I just couldn't write him) and really, I was just picking someone to be the bad guy and I tend to be a bit OC mad…so I didn't create one for this fic. Basically, it's just a break from Changing Lives. So…um…there? *DON'T KILL ME!*

And yes, I know it's hardly hearts and flowers, but I haven't had a good Valentine's Day myself since I was 17, and my current (on-again, off-again) man (ironically the same one from when I was 17) is about as romantic as a rock (and only has half the personality of one) nowadays, despite the fact that he should have (like a good wine) improved with age. Hah. Men stink.