Disclaimer, do not own any of these characters nor am I making any money from this story.

Thump! Thump! Thump! "Harry, do you hear me, it's Ron? This is not funny anymore, you need to open this bloody door" roared Ron. "This is just fucking insane Harry. He's dead and has been dead for five bloody fucking years. Fine, have it your way I'm out of here." Ron started to walk down the stone corridor of a dingy run down apartment building in downtown Berlin. Reaching the exterior door he buttoned up his coat to ward off the brisk winter chill.

Inside apartment 201, Harry sat at his desk writing.

It's been five years and I feel like just a moment has passed and then an eternity. I don't think I can live much longer in this non life. My friends keep telling me to move on. I can't, he was my heartbeat, my life's blood; my only sense of normal came from him. I can't breathe. They all said time heals all, but time has passed and yet it still feels like yesterday. Yesterday that I kissed him for the first time, yesterday when I held his hand, yesterday I kissed his lips. I miss him, the feel of his hair, the feel of this heat, the warmth of his skin, the smell of his body. I miss him to such a depth I can not function. I need him back and I want him back. I have spent years reading, searching, finding, failing, wanting. I just need more time. I don't want more time I want him. I'm dying, my soul is crying. I need help. It's been five years. Five years. Five years.

Harry stopped writing while Ron beat on his door. The pain in his chest increased at his regrets. He pushed them all away and now he needed them. Would they help him? Harry walked to the small kitchen in his dirty cramped apartment. The kettle whistled, his mind occupied, Harry poured the boiling water on the dry aromatic tea leaves watching the leaves unfurl. The steam curling above the pot bathed his face in heat. The contrast in air made Harry take note of the chill in the air. The time just keeps passing. It's only two weeks to Christmas he mused. While the tea steeped his eyes wandered to the Alley next to the building, watching Ron hurry down the alley to the corner. I can't keep doing this alone, I need help. Turning around he started to pack.

Harry sat looking out at the snow blanketed countryside passing by as he sat on the train. He hated to be around wizarding kind they all knew who he was and the looks would start. He killed Tom Riddle but at what price. He lost his love, his future. Everyone knew that he was still in morning for Severus. His last touch was of Severus dying in his arms. The final battle concluded Harry franticly searched for Severus for he was not next to him. Half crazed with pain and drunk on power he found Severus bleeding next to death. The heaven opened and a rain poured in torrents Harry carried and half dragged Severus inside the Shrieking shack. The wind was howling the rain driving against the walls of the shack. Harry trying to help Severus already sent messages for help. His skills at healing could only close superficial cuts but the deep trauma to Severus needed a medic. Harry was lost in thoughts of that pre destined day.

"Severus," the name ringing in the cool evening air as Harry repeated it over and over. He said every spell he could to find him. Once he did his heart stopped. Severus, Merlin help me, Severus! His skin was sallow where it was not covered in blood. Harry fired off several messages and dragged, carried, spelled anything to move Severus to the Shrieking Shack to get out of the sudden downpour. The water felt like ice to further numb his skin. Once inside the Shack he lit a fire and stripped Severus of his clothing finding any wound he could close. Begging, pleading, "Severus please, please, live. I'll do anything, be anything." His hands were trembling with fatigue and fear. Nothing in his life prepared him for this. Of all the deaths he could have handled this was not one of them. Spell after spell and his breath was becoming more shallow and weaker. Sobbing Harry put all his power and will in to reviving Severus. His hand cradled Severus head and with a deep breath Severus breathed his last breath. Poppy arrived in time to see the final moments of Snapes life. What she found was a sobbing hysterical young powerful wizard incoherent and chanting Severus name over and over again. She rushed next to Severus giving him a potion and whisking Severus away. Ron arrived seconds behind Poppy going to Harry.

Harry didn't remember much after that he was drained and out of his right mind. The next thing Harry knew he was in the Medical Ward at Hogwarts. They told him Severus was dead. Harry turned on his side and just stared at the wall. He didn't demand to see Severus he didn't want to see Severus. He knew Severus was not dead he could not be. He was not dead. Harry never recovered from the final battle and people at first were sympathetic but as time went on sympathy turned to pity. Harry could not stand the questions and inquires so he left the magical community and stepped back into the world he grew up in.

Five years and he was once again on a train but this time not running away this time moving towards a new beginning. There was just one thing that Harry wanted for Christmas: he wanted Severus back in his arms. But that was impossible, for Severus had died in front of his eyes, in the dust and grime of the shrieking shack.

Most of the students left at Hogwarts were off on the grounds building snow forts and just causing general mayhem. Harry walked through the grounds unnoticed for most would not recognize the once most photographed celebrity of age. Harry had aged in five years the strain of his emotions taking a toll on his appearance. His hair was long mostly from neglect then to style. His skin showed signs of lack of sun exposure but more then anything his body language and posture spoke of tiredness. Nobody would assume that was the Great and Powerful Harry Potter Snape. Harry knocked on the Headmasters door, "Come in Harry" said Headmaster Dumbledore. "I have been expecting you, Harry, I had hoped you would come sooner but no matter. Please sit, tea?"

"Yes Sir, thank you." He accepted the tea cup handed to him. Sipping it slowly he looked up at the Headmaster. "I need your help, I found a way but I need your help."

"Anything I can do, I'll do."

"I need to see him" said Harry in a soft tone.

The headmaster stood up leading the way out of his office. Harry followed slowly as they walked down to the dungeons. He was standing in front of Severus's room. The headmaster unsealed it letting Harry walk in first. Everything was as he remembered the books lining the walls. The position of the chairs it was as if time stood still and in a way it had. Harry walked to the bedroom opening the door and finally after five years he had what he wanted. Severus was undead but not alive he was in the between. With all his injures and dark magic used on him he had little hope of any recovery. Poppy had put him in status so he might be helped at a latter date. For five years Harry learned and used his vast powers to become a healer. He combed every dusty library he could hunting for spells anything that could save Severus.

"Headmaster, I need your help. When I'm done you will need to take care of me I'll be okay just unconscious."

"Harry what are you going to do?"

"You'll see."

Harry stepped closer to Severus pulling from his pocket a potion. He had to magic the contents into Severus stomach. Harry started to chant and rested his right palm over Severus heart. Magic poured from Harry into Severus. Severus inhaled a deep breath and in the moment was filled with light and power. Severus felt warmth like he never had and in that second of awareness Harry slumped over Severus. Severus was breathing but not awake. Dumbledore leaned over to remove Harry taking him to the medical wing. Poppy was not going to be pleased.

Harry woke up in a hospital bed but at least he lived. He was not sure if the spell and potion would work. He didn't tell the headmaster that it could have drained him completely of magic killing him in the process. That did not mean he felt well his entire body was stiff and hurt like he had been roasted over a fire. He groped for his glasses on the side table before he could grasp them they were placed in his hand. Whipping his head around it was Severus. Time stood still and in that second Harry soaked up the image he beheld. Severus with his long hair and hooked nose every line on his face dear.

"Severus, are you alive or am I dreaming?" Harry croaked out between his suddenly dry lips.

"Yes, and you have a great deal to explain Harry. I never expected to see you with long hair. It might be time for a cut but that can wait you need to rest more."

The week pasted and Severus and Harry never left each others side. The talked and spoke of everything they did not say to each other before. It was Christmas Eve the two were alone in Severus's room.

"Severus," sighed Harry as he leaned into his body. I had been so long since Harry felt the warmth of another body. Severus ran his hand through newly cut hair breathing in the smells of Harry. He almost lost all of this the comfort and understanding that comes with a relationship. He thought he had died then to fine out he was in a vacuum of time for five years while Harry grew, lived and suffered. He was so proud of Harry and while his mind was thinking about Harry his body was responding to the warmth. His erection grew heavy and swelled against a moaning Harry. Severus led Harry over to the bed to reacquaint himself with Harry. Harry was drowning in sensation the feel of Severus the warmth he misses so much was here. He moaned and slithered against Severus trying to undress him in the process. Severus kneaded pliant muscles caressing everything part of skin that was exposed. Harry growing impatient finished removing all of Severus clothing and his. The two naked men caressed each other never wanting it to end. The kisses were short but frequent so many placed to kiss. Harry felt complete again like he could live.

That next morning Harry spent Christmas in bed idly stroking Severus hair. This was a Christmas miracle after so long he had his wish. He knew it would be a difficult road but he felt hopeful and free to live now. He did have to write Ron and his friends apologies for abandoning them but he would face that in the New Year.