Sorry it took me soooo long to update. I was going to update over the weekend, but the damn internet got disconnected because of the phone bill. But here it is, at last.

Chapter 3: Forsaken Barbie Doll Mansion

"UUUUUHHHHMMMM!" said Niko, obviously no brighter than the last guy. "Is you the new guy?"

Link only nodded awkwardly.

"ALR1GHT!!!1one No more dirty pirate underwear, itching powder in my pants, or firecrackers in my food." cheered Niko, doing a happy dance.

"So what am I supposed to do now?" asked Link.

"Well, you're my bitch, now, which means you have to do all the things that the new homies do on the ship. Mow the lawn, take out the trash, and clean the toilets. You may not survive." replied Niko.

"Okay…where do I start?" asked Link, mustering up ever last bit of courage.

"For starters…just jump dat wooden plank." said Niko.

"Sounds easy." said Link

He jumped toward the first board but then fell off.

"Falling off no go well with the timer majiggie. Ya dig?" asked Niko.

"It wasn't my fault, I jumped onto it, but I wouldn't grab it for some odd reason." snapped Link.

"Try pressing A, foo." suggested Niko.

Link ran forward, tapped A, and grabbed on to the platform and pulled himself up.

"Tell ya what, homie, I is gonna make a deal wit ya." said Niko. "If you can get yo ass over here before Tetra pages you, I'll give you this super awesome ray gun that deletes all enemies in one shot. But if you don't haul it before then, you'll only get this purple, girly purse."

"Okay." agreed Link.

"LIIIIINK! We're here." called Tetra.

"Better luck next time." laughed Niko, tossing the purple bag at Link.

Ominous Text (OT): You got the girly purse. You feel pretty.

DUH DUH DUUUHHHM!

"No I don't!" Protested Link, and ran upstairs.

"Hey, Hero, nice purse." taunted Pirate 1.

"What will you collect? Lipstick? Mascara?…Lipo points?" laughed Pirate 2.

"You need a lipo, not me." snapped Link as he climbed the crow's nest.

"So…been stealing lipstick?" interrogated Tetra.

"What?" asked Link hiding the purse.

Tetra held up a mirror, showing Link's face, which had lip stick on it.

"NIKOOOOOO!" screamed Link.

"We'll get him later. Here's where they're holding your sister." said Tetra.

Link looked to the right of the ship and saw a big island with sunshine, a rainbow, flowers, and little animals running around on it.

"Wow, I thought it was going to be darker, scarier, and harder to get by." said Link, confused.

"Other way." ordered Tetra.

Link turned around to see a big, dark fortress with search lights and a giant bird sitting on top.

"That's more like it." said Link, only to look down to see himself inside a wooden barrel mounted on a huge ass catapult.

"WTF?" shouted Link.

"Been wanting to try this thing out for a long time. I was hoping to test it on Niko, but I guess you'll do." said Tetra.

"I'll get you." screeched Link.

The cord was pulled and Link went flying like a birdy toward the fortress.

Gonzo waved goodbye.

Yeah, I know it was kinda short, but please update anyway so I'll continue.