Note: I just pulled this out of my ass for the holiday. :D Enjoy or not, I had fun writing it in a half an hour!

Impractical Hearts

Cloud was not romantic.

It was a fact of life. No matter how many chick flicks he watched, no matter how many romance books he read, he just didn't get it. He didn't see the appeal. But he knew his lover was a hopeless romantic, so he tried.

That was all that mattered to Leon. So he wasn't too angry when he found a rosebush on the front step of the Committee's home.

He smiled wryly and squatted to look at the roots. The smell of dirt was fresh. His lover must have uprooted it and brought it within a few hours ago, before he left for his deliveries for Cid. Valentine's Day was one of the busiest times for deliveries, and he wasn't very romantic, so this was as lovey-dovey as he got.

"Wow." Aerith smiled and leaned down to look at the bush as well. "He even made sure all of the roots are still attached." Her expression turned thoughtful. "So that's why he was asking me about transplanting plants."

"Really?" Leon asked, looking up at her. "He did research on this? Wow! He put some effort into this!" He frowned as he looked back at the bush. "…I just don't know where I'll put it."

"Oh, oh, I know!" Yuffie exclaimed, waving her arms excitedly. "You can put it—"

She was interrupted by Tifa knocking her head with her fist and making a shushing noise. "Congratulations, Leon. It's very nice."

"Well… I can just wrap the roots up and keep its roots moist until we find a place," Aerith offered, smiling again.

Leon felt terribly out of the loop, but that wasn't too uncommon when he was with all three of his female companions at the same time. "Okay. I'll make sure to look for places where I could put it."

"Okay. Will you help me move it?"

"Sure."

-x-x-x-

Leon was terribly surprised when he found another gift on the doorstep on his way back from shopping for Aerith. He was also terribly surprised by what it was.

Cloud had gotten him… dishes and cutlery. And not just any dishes and cutlery. He'd gotten fine white china dishes with tasteful red and pink hearts and roses painted around the rims. The cutlery was silver. Like, the nice silver you got out whenever your mother-in-law was in town. He was fairly sure that it was almost an exact replica of Matron's nice silver, but he couldn't be one hundred percent positive.

He appreciated it, but… where was he going to put it? The Committee house already had good, sturdy dishes that Yuffie couldn't break because Merlin had enchanted them to be unbreakable. The edges of the knives may have been a little blunt—they had to be, with a ninja living in the house—but they served their purposes. This stuff was fragile.

He glanced at the other box and hesitantly opened it. Well, at least this box of dishes was just plain, everyday dishes and regular cutlery, and he could probably get Merlin to enchant them as well. He was a bit perplexed by the blond's reasoning. The gift had been thoughtful, but not very practical.

Oh well. That was just Cloud trying to be romantic.

Tifa opened the door and was startled to find the boxes, Leon, and the groceries all out in front of her. "Oh. …You want help bringing those in?"

"Um, sure." He frowned in confusion. "I don't know what I'm going to do with all of it, but sure."

"Don't forget Aerith's groceries," the martial artist quipped, and smiled when the brunet let out a squawk and rushed the bags into the house to put the ice-cream away before it melted.

-x-x-x-

"…I don't get it," Leon stated after a few minutes.

"It's a receipt for a queen-size bed! What's not to get?" Yuffie asked, frowning. "Look, it even has Cloud's signature!"

The brunet rolled his eyes and sighed. "I mean I don't get why he bought it! It won't fit in our room!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever," the ninja replied, digging through the brunet's closet. "Cloud told me to make you sexy and I've only got a few hours to do it."

"Leon, Cloud left another gift downstairs," Aerith stated, poking her head into his room. "He said he forgot to drop it off when he left the receipt."

Leon turned in surprise to find her holding out a box with holes in the top to him. He frowned and took it warily, then flung the top off and prepared for an attack from some sort of animal. When nothing was forthcoming, he peeked inside only to find a picture in it. Frowning in confusion, he pulled it out for a better look.

It was a picture of a little black puppy with a big red bow tied around its neck. Attached to the ribbon was a balloon that said, "Happy Heart Day, Sweetcheeks!" Scrawled on the bottom of the picture was, "To keep you company while I'm away. Love, Cloud."

Both he and the girls made an 'aw' sound. "How sweet!"

"That's so romantic!"

Yuffie suddenly shook the über-cuteness off and grabbed the brunet's arm. "Come on! I have to make you sexy!"

Leon frowned but acquiesced. "If it's not here, where'd he take the puppy?" At this, the two girls began to giggle. He scowled. "Okay, what's going on?"

"It's a secret!" the ninja crowed cheerfully, before attacking him with a barrage of clothes. "Now let's make you sexy!"

-x-x-x-

"Cloud, where are we going? Can I take this thing off now?"

Cloud rolled his eyes and batted his hand away from the blindfold he'd put on him. "We're almost there. Jeez."

Leon scowled and crossed his arms, then tilted his head inquisitively. "So, about the gifts you got me—"

"Yes?"

"Well, thank you, but, I don't know what I'm going to do with any of them. We don't have anywhere to put the rosebush, we don't need more dishes, the bed won't fit in our room, and Merlin's allergic to dogs." He frowned. "I really do appreciate everything—especially the puppy—but it wasn't very practical, was it?"

"Hmm…" The blond hummed to indulge him, then made him draw to a stop. "Okay. Promise you won't be mad at me, kitten?"

Leon sighed. "Is this another impractical gift? Because if it is, I'm going to hate saying no to you!"

Cloud smiled sweetly and pulled his blindfold down. "I don't know if it's impractical or not, but—"

The brunet blinked to get used to the light, then gasped at what he saw. "That's my house! I thought the blueprints had been stolen-! That was you!"

The house was everything he'd ever wanted. It had a large front lawn with various plants bordering it surrounded by a white fence. The house itself had a cobblestone base with white wood above it, and the windows had little flowerboxes and fresh green shutters.

Cloud grinned. "Yeah, that was me." He leaned in to rub noses with him. "But what a hell of a Valentine's Day gift it was, huh?"

Leon grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down for a quick kiss. "You jerk-! You wonderful, stupid, romantic jerk!"

"Mm…" The blond smiled and leaned his forehead against the other man's. "Sora will bring your puppy over, Tifa will deliver your dishes, and Aerith will help you transplant your rosebush. …Tomorrow."

The smaller man tilted his head. "What about the bed?"

"It's already here. The house is fully furnished." The blond's smile curved into a smirk. "And what better way to break in a new home then by sleeping in it?"

Leon rolled his eyes. "There's not going to be much sleeping, is there-aaaaaah!" He let out a squeal as the blond scooped him into his arms and blushed, hurriedly wrapping his arms around his neck. "Cloud! What the hell?!"

"I believe the groom is supposed to carry the bride over her new threshold, yes?" Cloud asked, smiling at him again, before he began toward the door.

"Bride-?! Groom-!? Are you asking me to marry you!?" the brunet exclaimed, blushing even more.

The older man raised an eyebrow at him. "Someday, kitten. Someday." He smirked. "But until that day…"

"Ah, pervert! At least wait until we're inside the house!"

"Let it never be said that Cloud Strife doesn't have a romantic bone in his body."

"You mean the one you plan on violating me with?"

"…Yes."