AN: Hello lovers! Sorry for the wait on this chapter. My other fic is slightly more in demand than this one and I felt the urge to update that story first. However, I'm back and here with the second to last chapter of this story. Enjoy and review if you feel so compelled.

This chapter is for my friend Sam, who recently found out she's expected *squeals* Hope you enjoy it, bb! Love you!

Also, for those interested in my slightly naughtier fiction, please visit my profile and do the poll so I know what you want to read the most!

Apologetic

When Chuck screwed up, he used a term of endearment that always seemed to work for the other man in Blair's life.

"Blair-bear" he murmured into the doorjamb.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME BLAIR-BEAR! YOU RE NOT MY FATHER, ONLY HE GET'S TO CALL ME THAT!!!" she screamed from the inside of the bathroom which she barricaded herself into.

"Don't yell, sweetheart, you'll raise your blood-pressure" Chuck told her.

"Don't flatter yourself into thinking you have any affect on my rising blood-pressure, you pompous ass! It's not my fault I'm like this, I can't control my fucking hormones" her voice cracked at the end.

Chuck knew at that moment that she had just switched gears and started crying.

"Oh baby, don't cry" he sighed, resting his forehead against the bathroom door as he listened to the love of his life sobbing in the connecting room.

"Stop telling me what I can't do!" she cried, chucking a bar of soap at the door.

"Fine, cry. Cry all you want. But please let me in" he pled "I just want to hold you."

Blair scoffed.

"Oh, so now you want to touch me? Who's acting wishy-washy now, huh Bass?" she sniffed.

"Bass, don't make me break this door down" he warned, his sanity teetering as he tried to adapt to his wife's crazy antics.

"I'd like to see you try, you wimp! You'd probably break a nail!" she called to him.

Chuck rocked back on his heels, physically biting down on his tongue to prevent himself from saying anything.

A solid minute passed.

"Bass? Did you walk away from me while I'm trying to yell at you?" Blair called.

"Bass?"

He remained silent.

"Chuck?" she called, her voice wavering.

"I'm right here, sweetheart" he said at last.

"You son of a bitch, I thought you left me" she cried, slapping the door and pretending it was her husband.

"I'm not leaving you…even if you've been verbally abusing me for the past twenty minutes" Chuck told her "And there's no end in sight."

"I'm upset" she explained.

"I know, I didn't mean to upset you" he said "I'm just concerned…"

"About the baby. Blah blah blah blah. Who did you marry Bass? Me or your unborn child?" she asked.

"You" he said, smiling.

"That's right. I'm your first love. Me, don't forget that" she ordered.

"I wouldn't dream of it" he told her as he rubbed the piece of wood that separated them.

"I really am sorry I hurt your feelings, Blair. You know how much your safety means to me" he said.

"I know what you're doing Bass. I'm not coming out" she said definitively.

Chuck sighed.

"Fine. You stay. I'll be right back" he said.

"You're leaving?" she asked.

"I'm coming right back" he called over his shoulder before heading to his computer.

"Typical" Blair muttered.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

A few minutes later, Blair heard a ruffling noise and thought for sure that Chuck was trying to open the door.

She hurried over to it and pressed her ear to the door. That's when she felt something thin poking at her toes.

Looking down, Blair saw that he was not forcing the door—instead he was sliding a piece of paper through the crack.

"What's this?" she asked.

Chuck didn't say anything.

Blair, with great difficulty, managed to squat down and retrieve the piece of paper. In pink highlighter Chuck had written the words "READ ME" and highlighted various sentences on the page.

It was an article he had found on a health website. The title was "Safe Sex Positions During Pregnancy."

Despite her earlier humiliation, Blair could not help but stifle a laugh as she noticed the positions that her husband wanted to call her attention to—he had scribbled little pink stars next to "spooning," "rear entry," and "edge of bed."

The star next to "spooning" was the largest, and accompanied by a heart and a smiley-face.

He made it far too difficult for her to say mad at him for long. It really was unfair.

She opened the door just wide enough for her to stick her head out.

And there he was, the basstard she agreed to marry, stretched out on their king sized bed with one arm resting behind his head. The other hand patted the spot next to him. His eyebrows wiggled at her suggestively and a smile tugged on the corners of his lips.

"The internet Bass? Really?" Blair asked him.

"Sometimes I think I know everything" he conceded, sitting up "Other times I know when I've been an asshole. And I was an asshole to you tonight."

"True" she agreed, pursing her lips.

"Will you just come out of there already? You're depriving me the sight of my gorgeous wife eight months pregnant with my child. It's cruel, even for you" he teased.

Blair sighed before moving from her hiding place behind the door. Open the door wide, she stood in the frame wearing a deep purple silk matching bra and panties set—leaving her very pregnant belly exposed and on display. She happened to carry all of her weight in her stomach, so that from behind you could barely tell she was expecting.

Since entering her third trimester, Blair had been doing her best to deal with the extreme changes in her body, but it wasn't easy. The other day, when she was feeling particularly feisty, she wandered into the maternity lingerie section and found what she was hoping would be a sexy, yet tasteful set for her husband to enjoy.

But of course he had to ruin everything tonight by taking one look at her and immediately spouting out some concern about sex being unsafe so close to her ninth month. Naturally, Blair had been mortified that her husband was turning down sex—convinced he was making up excuses so he didn't have to touch her.

"You're the reason I'm like this in the first place, you inconsiderate bastard! It's not my fault I'm fat and ugly and horny all the time" she had cried as she stormed into the bathroom.

"Blair…" Chuck said gently, trying to calm her.

"No, don't bother. I'm so sorry you even have to look at me when I'm like this. Go screw some size 0 hooker for all I care. I don't even want to have sex with you, you prick!"

"Baby, I never said I didn't…" he tried again.

Blair spun around right after she entered the bathroom, door in her hand.

"I blame myself, really. I'm the one who had to go and marry a man intimidated by vibrators. If you didn't have to throw mine out, I could take care of my issues all on my own and never have to bother you with my fat, disgusting body! Fuck you" she said before slamming the door shut and locking it behind her.

So yeah, it was a pretty rough night in Château de Bass. But things we starting to look up now.

After all, she was no longer barricaded in the other room.

"There she is" Chuck marveled as Blair took a step forward, "You're fucking gorgeous, you know that?"

"No I'm not" Blair argued, covering her naked belly with her arms "I look completely ridiculous and I'm returning this stupid outfit tomorrow. It was a dumb idea."

"No you're not. I simply forbid it. In fact, I insist you wear that and only that for the next four weeks" he told her.

His wife rolled her eyes.

"I know these past few months haven't been easy on you" she told him "I wanted to do something special for you, for us."

"And I was an insensitive prick. Forgive me?" he asked.

Blair glanced down at the information he printed out for her.

"You really want to have sex with me, even though I look like this?" she asked.

"As long as it's safe and doesn't hurt you" Chuck explained.

"I'm sure we can handle it" she said, rubbing her belly, "So, you're a fan of option number 1?"

"Very much so" he told her.

"And you're sure you're not disgusted by how much weight I gained?" she asked as she waddled towards the bed.

"Of course not. In fact, I've never found you more attractive. More of my Blair to love" he said as he stood up to help her onto the bed.

Blair rolled her eyes and smiled.

"I'm supposed to be on my left side" Blair told him.

"I know sweetheart, I read it too" he said, helping her lie down.

"Alright, Mr. Expert of Pregnancy Sex" she said as he slid a soft pillow under her stomach.

"Have you had sex with many women in their third trimester, Bass? Cause you certainly know how to be accommodating" she told him.

"Just making sure you're comfortable, dear" Chuck said, delicately sliding off her underwear.

"Okay let's do this" she sighed.

"Don't sound too excited now. I thought you wanted this" her husband said, slightly offended.

"I do, but all that yelling has worn me out. And I feel like a beached whale" she said over her shoulder.

"But you still want me?" he asked as he undressed and laid down behind her.

"Unfortunately" Blair teased, taking his arm and firmly wrapping it around her belly as she entwined their fingers.

Chuck gently lifted her right leg and placed his own in between.

"Is this okay?" he asked, positioning himself against her.

"Mmhm" she moaned as the head of his cock rubbed against her slick folds, "Very, very okay."

Chuck smiled and pressed his lips against the back of her shoulder before sliding into her wet heat.

"Uhhh" Blair breathed out shakily as he began to pump in and out of her.

"Does it hurt?" he asked quietly, praying to god the answer was no, because over on his side, it felt fucking incredible.

"No, it feels so good" she told him, turning her head towards his "I love you."

"I love you too" he said, kissing her sweetly.

He continued to make slow, gentle love to her until they climaxed together.

Blair's cries of pleasure echoed through the walls of their home as she found the release she had been dreaming of for the past week.

"I take it you enjoyed that?" Chuck rumbled against her ear.

"Mmhm, very much so" she murmured, already beginning to drift off to sleep.

"Does that mean I'm better than a battery-operated toy?" he teased.

"Well you are slightly more high maintenance" she told him, "But I suppose so" she conceded.

"You can be a real bitch sometimes" he said, bringing their entwined hands to his lips and kissing the back of hers.

"I love you too, Mr. Bass."

"And don't you forget it."

TBC…Leave a review, check out my poll (dirty!), and do a happy dance 'cause we're only a few weeks away from season 3 of "The Chuck and Blair Show" (formerly known as Gossip Girl).