You're Not Sorry

Summary: Mulder F's up :-/ and Scully makes a painful decision.

Disclaimer: Not mine…shit.

a/n: I am in a Mulder-hating mood…that and I love this song by Taylor Swift…you should download it…she's awesome. This is set sometime during season 6, think of it after One Son, but of course before Biogenesis…it goes a little A/U kk??

Chapter 1

"Scully, I'm sorry." Mulder says to her as he reaches his hand out for her to take. She stares at him, wondering how he can even say that to her. She knows that looking at him is just going to make walking away so much harder. She turns to leave and head back to her apartment, wishing that none of this ever happened. "I love you, Scully." She hears him plead as she pushes the button to the elevator. The door opens and she walks inside, she pushes the button for the first floor and right before the doors close again, she looks up, she sees the tears in his eyes. If she stayed, he would have just talked her out of being mad or upset, he's not sorry. He knows that saying sorry to her will bring her back in and sometimes, she just wants to be mad.

Finally, when she steps out on the first floor, she lets the tears fall. Ditched, again. That's the only way for her to describe it. She thought things would be different, especially once they crossed that line from friends to lovers. He promised her things would be different. Apparently, his promises mean nothing.

She reaches her car, all she wants to do is just drive home, take a bath and forget that any of this happened.

Finally, in the security of her own home, she crosses into the living room, she's on a mission, wine, candles, bath, tea, bed. She shrugs off her coat, throwing it onto the couch, not even bothering hanging it up. She sees the light on her answering machine blinking. She knows it's him, who else would call her. Pausing for a second, her hand hovers above the play button, she decides against it, turning on her heel and heading straight for her bathroom.

She starts the water…it's hot, just the way she likes it, as she pours in the bubbles her phone begins to ring again. Of course, it's him, again. Calling to apologize, again. She doesn't answer. She crosses into her kitchen, grabs a glass, and a wine bottle from the fridge, right as the machine picks up.

"Hey Scully, it's me. Listen, I keep calling, if you're there, please pick up." He pauses waiting to see if she is going to answer. "Please, I know you're mad, but I need to explain what happened. You don't understand. Scully, please, pick up the phone." He's begging with her, pleading for her to just hear him out. "Okay, I'm sorry, Scully. Really I am. I understand if you are mad. I just want to talk to you, please, call me back."

He sounds so desperate on her answering machine, during his message, she wants to run to the phone, pick it up and tell him everything will be fine, they will work this out. But, she also just wants to be mad. At least for tonight. Tomorrow, they will talk and everything will be okay. She heads back to the bathroom, lights her candles, removes her clothing and slips into the heated bliss of her tub.

Tomorrow, she will fix things with him. Tonight, she just wants to be mad.

Mulder sits on his sofa, alone. He puts his cell phone on the coffee table and sighs. Yes, he ditched her, again. After he promised her things would be different and he wouldn't ditch her anymore. She must think his promises mean nothing to him. "But they do, Scully" he silently pleads with no one, but himself. To be honest, he doesn't even know why he did it. Mostly, it was because of Diana, if he would have told Scully he was going to go gallivanting around with Diana, she would have been furious with him…why he doesn't just stay away from that God awful woman, he doesn't know.

Ever since Diana Fowley walked back into his life, she has caused nothing but problems for him…for him and Scully. They finally were able to cross that line, the line they had been walking like a tight rope for 6 years, he finally told her she was his world, she finally told him she loved him. Everything was going so well. Then she came back, and now everything is upside down.

Sitting there in his dimly lit apartment, he gets up from his couch and paces back and fourth. He ditched her, and it wasn't a small ditch, he left, with no word, for a week. "God, what was I thinking?" You weren't, his brain argues with him. You hurt her, after you promised her that you wouldn't. And, not only did you just leave to go chase some 'theory', you left her, and you left with Diana.

He missed her, he missed her so much while he was away, once he got back, he was going to go straight to her apartment, and apologize, apologize like he never had before. But when he got back, she was already at his apartment, waiting. What made things worse was that Diana was with him. One look at him and then Diana, and she was gone. Out the door, not even listening to anything that he had to say.

He contemplated going over to her apartment now. He wanted to go over there, make things right. But he knew by her not answering her phone or calling him back, she wanted to be left alone. So he decided to wait. He will wait until tomorrow, then, he will fix things with her. Tonight, he will let her be mad.

In the early morning hours, she is woken up by a nauseating feeling in her stomach. At first, she thinks it's because the last couple of weeks, she has been used to having a warm body in bed next to her, but after a couple of seconds, the realization dawns on her that she is going to be sick. She throws the covers off and runs into her bathroom.

Maybe it was the wine and tea, she thinks to herself as she wipes her mouth with a cold cloth. She pauses for a second and looks into the mirror, her face is paler and a little thinner than usual. Its then that she realizes she doesn't remember the last time she ate. She leaves the confines of her bathroom and pads her way into the kitchen, she looks at the clock on the wall, a little after 4. She really shouldn't be eating this late, so she decides on something light. Her stomach is still doing flip-flops as she warms up some soup.

20 minutes later, she is back in bed. She pulls the covers up to her neck and reaches out to the empty space next to her. She misses him, she doesn't want to admit it, because she still wants to be mad at him, but she misses him. Her last thoughts before she drifts back off to sleep are of him.

She's late, an hour and a half to be exact. He probably has already called her apartment and she will be surprised if she finds him in the office and not out looking for her. She didn't get much sleep last night, after finally falling back asleep, she woke up again 30 minutes later, nauseous, throwing up the soup she ate. She couldn't go back to sleep, and the rest of the morning was spent the same way, her in her bathroom, throwing up anything that was left in her stomach. As she reaches the basement, she notices that the office door is closed, when she gets closer, she can hear voices coming from inside, not only Mulder's, but a woman's voice as well.

"Fox, you can't be serious! He did not say that to you."

"Diana, I am telling you, I know what I heard and that is exactly what I heard." He laughs.

Scully is then furious, no outraged that he would have the audacity to actually talk to Diana after what had happened last night, not only talk to her, but laugh as well. She quietly pushes the door open slightly and she sees Diana sitting on Mulder's desk, leaning towards him.

"Trust me, I know that man, and there is no way he would say something like that."

"Diana, I trust you, but like I said, I know what I heard."

He trusts her? Did I just hear him right? She's disappointed, his words are like a dagger going straight into her heart. She thought she was the only one that he trusts. She stands there for a couple more seconds, trying to figure out what to do. She finally pushes the door open the rest of the way and it bangs against the door. At the sound of it, Diana jumps off of Mulder's desk.

"Agent Scully, you scared me."

Scully doesn't reply, she just gives her a terse smile and walks over to her desk. She pulls a small box from underneath it and starts putting things inside of it. Mulder just stares at her, trying to figure out what she's doing. He knows that her walking in to see him talking to Diana is bad, as soon as Diana walked into the office he tried to get her to leave, and before he knew it, they were in some conversation about something that wasn't even relatively important to him.

"Umm, Diana," he says as he grabs her by the elbow and walks her to the door. "I think that you should go ahead and leave, Scully and I have some things that we need to talk about."

He doesn't give her time to respond as he pushes her out the door and closes it. He turns to face Scully, who is still putting things inside the box on her desk. "Scully, what are you doing?"

"Mulder, listen, we have nothing to talk about, okay? I get it, I always have and it was foolish of me to think that you were actually going to change your ways and keep your promise to me." She crosses the room and heads to the door.

"Scully, wait, let me explain. Its not what you think,"

"Mulder, please, I've given you chance, after chance. Every time, it ends the same. And you can sit here and apologize, but I know that you're not sorry. You do what you do because you think that it is right, and I get that, I do." She steps towards him and caresses his cheek. "Its one of the reasons I fell in love with you. But, I can't do this anymore, it hurts too much and I don't want to hurt anymore Mulder. I'm sorry."

"Scully," he says as he places his hand on top of hers, "please, don't do this."

"I don't know what else to do, Mulder and I don't want to hurt anymore. I'm going to ask Skinner for a transfer, please, don't try and call me, I won't answer the phone."

She turns from him and reaches for the door, opening it she hears him call her name, she doesn't turn around.

"I love you."

"I know you do, Mulder." And with that, she walks out of the office and closes the door behind her.

a/n II: I have some major twists for this one…so don't go anywhere!! Oh! And please review!!

I give out internet chocolate if you review :-)

K 3