Title: Don't Touch My Apples!

Author: TheVampireLucinda

Characters: Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Undertaker, many others, heh heh.

Disclaimer: Some slashy-ness, but the characters are all straight in this one. Or pretend to be. ;) Basically, just a weird little fic. XD

Summary: Shawn's been reading an interesting book from a mysterious woman, and when he tries out one of the spells, chaos ensues. With Hunter's help, of course. I blame the Musi for biting me during my class...Yes, I do have a course in Ancient Magic. XD Two-shot.

A/N: Hey guys, guess who's back! XP I'm so sorry for the long absence...It really was a crazy couple of months, but now, there's been a lull, and I'm free to do...Well, free to write without interruption, haha. In any case, I'm posting a bunch of stuff, because, well, I love you guys and gals a lot. :) Seriously. Thanks to everyone who checked up on me when I was sick, it really does mean a lot to lil 'ole me.

Alright, enough mushy stuff. It's funny; after being gone for a bit, I feel like I'm new again, and I was a little reluctant to put some of the newer stuff up. But, yeah, I figured, why the heck not, you guys will let me know if it sucks. Right? XD

Also, I'm still working on the weirdness that is the Playgirl Mansion...I haven't forgotten. ;)

Onto the story! (Oh, and btw, I'll put this A/N in the next ones I put up too, just because, haha).

"Whatcha got there, Shawn?" Hunter asked as he walked into the locker room without knocking, knowing that his best friend, Shawn Michaels, would be in there. The Heartbreak Kid always stayed a bit later than everyone else after the show was over. Sometimes he would be sitting deep in thought; other times he'd be standing in front of a mirror, trying to fix his already perfect hair. No matter what he happened to be doing, he was often the last one to leave, and Hunter had learned long ago that it saved him a lot of worry to just wait for Shawn after the shows.

Tonight, however, Shawn wasn't fixing his hair, nor was he deep in thought. Instead, he was sitting with a book open in front of him, and a bright red apple in his hand. His blue eyes were closed, and he seemed to be silently mouthing words that weren't words at all.

"Shawn, what are you up to?" Triple H asked again, approaching the smaller man cautiously.

"Shhhh," HBK whispered. "I'm trying something..." A few more silent moment passed, and he opened his eyes, staring at the fruit he was holding. "I wonder if it worked," he whispered to himself, shrugging and placing the apple down on the bench.

Hunter picked up the fruit as soon as Shawn turned around, examining it. Everything seemed normal...

"Dare I ask?" he inquired with a chuckle.

"Oh, I was just trying something out," Shawn said nonchalantly as he slipped into his jacket. "Thanks for waiting for me again, Hunt. I forget how quickly time can pass."

The Game nodded, but his attention was still on the apple. "Shawn, seriously, what were you doing to this thing? It looks...normal..."

The Heartbreak Kid turned around, eyes shining mischievously. "Of course it looks normal," he began in a know-it-all tone, holding up the book he had been reading. "But, if I did everything correctly, that is now an enchanted apple!"

Hunter gave Shawn a blank stare for a minute, wondering if the older man in front of him was joking, or had lost it. "Are you...serious? I mean, Shawn, really--"

"Hey, I wouldn't believe it either," HBK said defensively. "But do you know where I got this book from?"

Triple H leaned over and took a peek at the cover. "The...Greek Magical Papyri?" he read aloud, eyebrows rising higher and higher. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"Remember the Horror and Fun House?"

"I wish I could forget."

"Well, I got it from her." Shawn carefully placed the book in his bag. "I saw it on the bookshelf in her office, and she gave it to me, saying something about the spells being useful, but too basic."

"So...How is this apple enchanted?" Hunter asked, still not convinced as he turned it around in his hand. "Will I turn into a frog if I eat it?"

Shawn shook his head. "No, but whatever you do...Don't bite into it."

The Game smirked now. "Why? It's not like you actually cursed it or anything..."

"Hunter...Don't bite it, you'll be sorry." The Heartbreak Kid took a step towards Triple H, hoping to make a grab for the apple. Only he truly knew the devastation such an innocent piece of fruit could cause...

Hunter rolled his eyes. "Shawn, please. This is ridiculous. There's no such thing as magic—and I'll prove it!" In one fluid motion, he bit into the apple, wincing at Shawn's shriek before tossing the fruit to the Heartbreak Kid.

"Hunter, what have you done?!" Shawn was gasping, looking down at the now-incomplete apple in his hands. "I can't believe you did that!"

Triple H shook his head. "Shawn, calm down. Look, I'm still alive, aren't I? And I don't feel sick, or anything..." He gave himself a pat on the stomach for emphasis. "I guess there's no such thing as magic, then, huh?"

Shawn hit himself in the forehead with the palm of his hand. "Hunter," he groaned, sitting on the bench, still holding the apple. "I cast a love spell on this thing! Now you're going to be madly in love with me until I break the curse with magic words and a kiss!"

That was the last straw for Hunter, and as soon as Shawn had finished talking, the Game was falling over with laughter. "I can't believe you cast a love spell on an apple!" he gasped between chuckles.

"Hey, apples are powerful symbols!" Shawn explained, standing up angrily. "And the spell is even more powerful! Now come here so I can break it."

Triple H wiped at his eyes, letting the last of his laughter subside. "Hell no, Shawn, I'm not letting you kiss me." He slung his bag over his shoulder, still snickering. "Now let's get out of here. I'm sleepy."

Shawn sighed heavily and looked at the apple once before tossing it into the trashcan. "For your sake, Hunter," he muttered, following the younger man out. "I hope you're right about magic not being real..."

Triple H lay in his bed comfortably that night, having fallen asleep with astonishing quickness. No sooner had he hit the bed then he was snoring, and having a nice, undefined dream that was very pleasant. As the dream itself began to form, Hunter found himself lying on a beach, staring up at the perfect blue of the sky, the sound of gently lapping waves giving him such a sense of peace that he could only sigh with happiness.

'This is the good life,' he thought, closing his eyes and folding his arms behind his head to use as a pillow. The sun—somewhere overhead—warmed his skin nicely, and he imagined that he was getting a nice little tan out there.

However, suddenly, the warmth of the sun began to grow. In a matter of moments, it started to become almost painful as the waves of heat and light hit his skin. Hunter frowned and opened his eyes. To his surprise, his skin didn't look sunburned, but when he touched the flesh of his arm, it was blazing hot. In fact, it was suddenly very hot everywhere, and sweat began to pour from his body as he found it hard to breathe.

"What the hell?!" he gasped, sitting up and coughing, trying to clear his lungs. Triple H had the distinct sense of drowning and of being burned alive...It was maddening. Seeking relief, he crawled towards the ocean, but no sooner did his hand skim the surface than the whole thing evaporated before his eyes.

'How...how is this possible?' Hunter wondered, putting a hand to his throat. His whole body felt like it was on fire, and he began to think that he was going to die of the heat...

"Need some help, Buddy?" a kind voice asked behind him, and Triple H turned to see Shawn there. For reasons unknown, the Heartbreak Kid was completely naked, blond hair flowing behind him in the wind, blue eyes glowing just as the water had a moment before as he sat in what could only be described as a giant clam shell.

Ignoring the oddness of the situation, Hunter crawled over to his best friend. "Help me, Shawn...It's so hot..."

The Heartbreak Kid gazed at him benevolently, and pulled the younger man into his arms and onto the shell. "Don't worry, Hunt, this fire won't kill you...After all, it's only love."

"Love?" Triple H asked, brown eyes widening. "Love for what?" He looked up questioningly at the older man, and in that instant, he received his answer.

Never before had his dearest friend seemed so beautiful, so perfect, so angelic and innocently seductive...

"Shawn...I need you..." he gasped, throwing his arms around HBK, their bare chests connecting with a soft thud. "I love you...Take me...Please..."

Venus-Shawn laughed and began to softly stroke Hunter's golden hair. "What's this?" he asked, voice slightly mocking. "You love me? Hunt, I thought you loved your wife."

"I do...I mean, I did..." Hunter stammered, burying his face against Shawn's chest. "I don't know what's wrong with me Shawn, but I need you now, please!"

Venus-Shawn only smiled, and without saying a word, placed a soft hand under Triple H's chin, lifting his face. "Poor Hunter," he sighed, and then pressed his lips lightly against the younger man.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Hunter knew that he had always wondered what it would be like to be truly kissed by Shawn Michaels and now, at last, he knew. Not a joking kiss from back in the day, but a real kiss, full of all the passion in his soul. And it was as wonderful as he had imagined.

"Yes, please, Shawn, more," the Game pleaded as their tongues entwined, feeling coolness wash over his skin and a distinct swelling of his heart. "I need more..."

"More?" Venus-Shawn asked, laughing again. "And just what more could you want?"

Hunter shook his head desperately, closing his eyes, unable to believe what he was about to say. But the fiery, love-sick sensation had returned the moment he pulled away from Shawn's lips. In fact, if he dared to think about it, a feeling of wholeness had overwhelmed him when he kissed the Heartbreak Kid, and now...

"Marry me, Shawn!" Triple H blurted out, and when he opened his eyes again, he saw that he was in his bed, drenched in sweat, the sheets tangled around his body. For a long moment, he simply lay there, staring into the darkness.

"A dream?" he whispered, blinking and turning on a lamp. "Only a dream..." Triple H took a deep breath and tried to regain his bearing, but soon realized that the feeling of love-sickness and unfulfilled lust that had dominated his body in the dream was still there.

'What the hell?! I'm not gay!' he thought angrily, sitting up. But just the thought of Shawn now almost brought him to tears. 'How...when did I...?'

And then he remembered.

"Dammit!" Triple H yelled, tossing his pillow and throwing the sheets to the side as he began to pace the room. "Dammit!"

There would be no sleep for him tonight.

Shawn Michaels had just finished getting dressed the next morning when there were several hard knocks at the door. Sighing, he went to answer and was nearly bowled over (literally) as Hunter rushed into the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Hunt, are you okay?" Shawn asked, seeing the wild look in the younger man's eyes. He looked as though he hadn't slept and all and he was sweating profusely. "Is something wrong?"

"You're damn right something's wrong!" Triple H swore, before walking angrily over to Shawn and grabbing him roughly by the arms. Confused, Shawn's blue eyes widened as all of the anger left his friend's face and the Game dropped to his knees and embraced Shawn around the waist.

"Your damn love-spell worked," Hunter choked out, nearly sobbing. "I'm absolutely and totally in love with you right now, and last night I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking about you!" He looked up at the shocked Heartbreaker pleadingly. "Please, Shawn, break the curse...It's driving me insane! Everywhere I go, I see you, and I need you in the worse way..."

Shawn was silent in his astonishment for a long moment, but ever so slowly, he gave into laughter until he was almost crying.

"Oh my God, are you serious, Hunter?!" he asked, disengaging himself from Triple H's arms and sitting on the bed. "You're in love with me?! Me?!" The Cerebral Assassin nodded dismally. "This is too perfect! I told you not to eat my apple, and now it's come back to bite you in the butt!" He fell on his back laughing, rolling around repeatedly.

Hunter, meanwhile, could barely contain himself. "Shawn, this isn't funny," he hissed in a strained voice. "Do you understand what I'm saying?! I'm in love with you...Because of your damned apple, I want to spend every moment with you and--" And now Hunter turned beet red and fell silent, which only drew Shawn's attention.

"And what?" HBK asked, sitting up again. "Tell me."

"And...and I really, really, really want to...you know...with you..."

Shawn's jaw dropped. "Seriously? You want to..." Hunter nodded again, sighing. "Wow...That must have been a really powerful spell!"

"Yeah, well, can you un-curse me now?" Triple H asked impatiently. "It's getting hard to sit here with you so close."

"Ew, don't tell me that!"

"No, I don't mean that's getting hard, I mean—Oh, the hell with it, Shawn, just break the spell!"

Shawn Michaels scratched his chin, blue eyes narrowing. "I don't know, Hunt, maybe I should make you suffer for a little while...Seeing as how you brought this upon yourself and all..."

Hunter's eyes widened. "Shawn, please don't...You don't understand how I feel right now...It's like having a high school crush multiplied by a thousand! I can't go even a moment without thinking about you...And my hands are itching to touch you, just as much as my skin burns for your caress..."

'Uh-oh, he's getting poetic on me,' Shawn thought with a frown. 'Maybe I should put him out of his misery.'

"Please, Shawn...If you're not going to break the spell...then..." Hunter blushed again, looking away sheepishly. "Then I was going to ask you to marry me."

"Marry you?" Shawn repeated, face a mask of confusion. "Are you for real?!"

"I am...It's just, that, I love you so much right now..." He sighed once again. "I've never loved anyone as much as I love you, now. It's crazy...I never knew such powerful love existed, y'know?"

With a small smile, Shawn stood up and walked over to where Hunter was sitting on the floor, kneeling so that he was at eye-level with the younger man. "I'll break the spell, Hunter," he said softly, placing a hand on Triple H's shoulder and watching in fascination at how he tensed. "But just so you know, I'm flattered that you'd ask me to marry you...Magic induced or not." With that, he closed his eyes and mouthed a few words in ancient Greek before placing a gentle kiss on Hunter's lips.

"There," he said in a breath as he pulled away and stood up. "Are you back to normal?"

Triple H sat there for a moment, two fingers pressing against his lips as he looked up at Shawn. "I...I think so..." He stood up and looked into Shawn's eyes.

'Good, no longing...no burning...no angst...'

"Thank God!" Hunter said suddenly, hugging Shawn tightly and startling the smaller man. "I'm back to normal!" Remembering all at once that he had just proposed to this man, he pulled away, blushing slightly. "Uh...thanks Shawn. I'll make sure to listen to you the next time you cast any spells."

"That's good to know," Shawn said with a laugh, glad to have Hunter back to normal. "But I don't think I'll try that again...who knows what'll happen if someone else bites into the apple..."

"Yeah, that would be a disaster," Hunter whispered, hopping onto Shawn's bed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to catch up on all the sleep I missed last night thinking about you."

Shawn laughed. "Well, that's cool. I'm going to go to breakfast...I'll probably be back in an hour or so. Will you be good until then?"

"Scout's honor," Triple H snickered, holding up his crossed fingers.

Shaking his head, Shawn gave his best friend one final wave before heading out, never seeing how the Game reached into his bag and pulled out the book entitled The Greek Magical Papyri.

O.o Hunter has the book...All hell will break loose... O.o

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