Another world.

It was always another unfamiliar world.

Another world that brought him farther from sweet little Chi.

Because he could never go back.

This one was cold and dim; an icy rain drizzled constantly from the dull gray sky. Giant buildings loomed in all directions, scrabbling their way up, as grasping for the nonexistent sun. Vehicles raced everywhere, with too much speed and too much noise, and too much power. This place was like Piffle Country, with none of the joy. People walked with eyes glued to the pavement, bumping, pushing shoving, mumbling all the while.

All there seemed to be was the glaring lights in the cold sleet, and people people people, everywhere.

And Fai was quiet.

Some days Fai could feel the walls breaking around him. He could feel his heart about to erupt into a million scrubby pieces. The scream in his soul crawling to his mouth tearing his throat with each passing instant was mind consuming; all the while he steadily clenched his teeth and forced it back.

This day felt worse than before. It tasted of a third consecutive failure to find a feather, despite Mokona's assurances of one's presence, it tasted of the group's failure, it tasted of cold people, cold places, and cold hearts. It tasted of the limit of Fai's control.

Kurogane always watched.

Kurogane always noticed.

Kurogane never knew what to say.

When they finally surrendered for the day and returned to their apartment, Fai went straight for his room. Sakura glanced shyly after him, looked like she would say something then thought better of it as Syaoran took her coat and led her into the kitchen. But he was equally as troubled as she. Kurogane could tell.

Stupid Mage, thought Kurogane, of times to let the damn mask slip! Just when the kids needed encouragement the most, especially the frail Sakura…Did I actually just wish for his stupid smile…

Syaoran and Sakura talked lightly in the kitchen, the muted clanking of pots and dishes, and their laughter a peaceful hum in the apartment.

Kurogane sat rigidly on the couch, eyes fixed determinedly on the TV screen. The mage wanted to wallow, then fine. God forbid he try to pull the stupid, aggravating, selfish, unthinking, spineless excuse of a man out of his self flagellating mood

Fai did not come to dinner that night.

Kurogane paused at a soft touch on his elbow as he cleared the dishes.

"Perhaps, you could check on Fai-san…" Sakura trailed off timidly.

Kurogane didn't want to. He really, really didn't want to. He was tired, and discouraged, and not at all interested in indulging the mage's odd mood swings.

But the kids looked at him so expectantly…

"Fine", he managed without sounding too grouchy.

Kurogane knocked on Fai's door.

He knocked again.

This time he just opened the damn thing, after all there was no reason to be rude!

Of course, thought Kurogane as be beheld the spectacle in Fai's room, maybe I'm the one being rude.

Fai was dancing.

His eyes were closed, his hair whipping across his face as he spun and jumped. His arms flung over head, conducted some unseen symphony. He had ear buds in his ears, and the music was so loud that Kurogane could hear the throbbing beat form his position in the doorway. So resonating was the beat that seemed almost like a wild heartbeat, like Fai's wild heart beat. And Fai was smiling. Not a happy, fluffy smile, but a smile of freedom, of utter abandon, of a world where the only thing that existed was the deafening music and his exhilarated heart beat.

Fai did not see Kurogane.

And Kurogane did not want to be seen and so snuck out swiftly, shutting the door carefully behind him.

"He's going to be fine." He assured the waiting Sakura

He crossed to the kitchen and began washing the dishes.

"He's going to be just fine…"