Disclaimer: I hate to disappoint you, but I do not, in fact, own Naruto. Yes, I'll give you a moment to get over the shock.

This story was a gift one-shot for Ally Plz, until it grew faster than I could tame, and transformed into a multi-chapter story.
Ally sent me a prompt, and I have taken gross liberties with it, stretching and bending the guidelines until probably she herself wouldn't recognize it! But I hope she's pleased with the result anyway.

I can't say what the prompt was without giving the story away. But I can tell you that the main guideline demands that Kakashi give Iruka a hard time. So don't get mad at me if he's a bit of a jerk!


Hatake Kakashi removed his ANBU mask and uniform, examining his body in the bathroom mirror.

This ritual self-inspection was not a manifestation of vanity, but a survival mechanism, meant to catch any signs of compromising damage or defect. His body needed maintenance and upkeep, like as any of his other weapons.

Thirteen years old, the silver-haired ANBU was in the middle of a growth spurt, meaning that all his pants came up just a bit shorter than they were intended to be worn. His shoulders were just beginning to broaden, but were still slender and undeveloped. His torso and limbs were strong and wiry, though a bit skinny, giving him the appearance of an under-stuffed scarecrow when he wore a long sleeved shirt. And he didn't speak much, because it was embarrassing when his voice cracked.

With a cool, analytical eye, Kakashi noted that his battle wounds were healing well, leaving behind damage that was only cosmetic. None of the scarring was thick or large enough to impede free motion.

The Third Great Shinobi War raged, and food supplies were sometimes difficult to transport to the front lines where Kakashi served. While ration bars provided adequate nutrition, it was not enough to preserve musculature. Kakashi frowned at his too-skinny form. Now that he was home on a brief furlough, he would do his best to remedy that.

Laying aside his ANBU gear, he donned his black cloth mask and the clothing he wore while off-duty. Arming himself well with various weapons and supplies (for he was never truly off-duty) Kakashi set off for his favored training area, nodded to the gate keepers as he left the village proper and found the clearing.

He had not expected to find someone else there first.

The grounds Kakashi used were not an officially designated practice field, but a hidden clearing in the woods surrounding Konoha, located right beside a small stream. The thirteen-year-old ANBU preferred this area because of its seclusion, and the fact that once his arduous training was complete, he could wash up and rest by the water.

This was the first time he'd seen anyone else in this area since he took up the habit of training here while on furlough from the battlefield.

The occupant gave no impression of having noticed Kakashi's presence. Thus the teen took care to use stealth as he approached. With skill befitting his ANBU status, he melted into the shadows of trees and conducted a reconnaissance of the immediate area.

There was not a soul in the vicinity save for this young boy, and that heightened Kakashi's apprehension instead of relieving it.

Who left the safety of the village unaccompanied during wartime, except those who were sure of their ability to protect themselves? And this child was no Konoha jounin or ANBU that he recognized.

Though the dark-haired boy looked to be no older than nine or ten years old, Kakashi did not allow himself to be at ease. He himself had killed more men than he cared to count by the time he reached his tenth birthday. Could this be an enemy infiltrator? The lack of a visible hitai-ate made that a distinct possibility.

Or it could just be a pre-genin child who ran away from home.

Kakashi chose to observe and reserve judgment for the time being.

The subject wore a white outfit with light, woven armor-netting underneath that extending beyond his short sleeves and the cuffs of his pants. His dark brown hair was pulled up in a high ponytail, but with the long bangs obstructing his face Kakashi wondered why the boy even bothered to pull the rest of it back.

Subject was small and skinny, but the long scar that marred his tan face suggested that he may have seen his share of combat. He was in possession of a pack that seemed to contain weapons and equipment, as well as a scroll roughly the length of Kakashi's forearm.

Thus far, Subject had done nothing besides engage in preliminary stretches and warm-ups that normally preceded a training session or some other strenuous activity. Then Subject began a series of taijutsu movements.

Kakashi recognized the style as Konoha and after several minutes it became abundantly apparent by the elementary form and inexpert motions that Subject was in fact a pre-genin of the Leaf village who had unwisely chosen to use Kakashi's favorite training ground. Annoying, but not a threat.

Without further deliberation, he made his presence known by dropping down in front of the boy, startling him half out of his wits. Kakashi blocked a clumsy punch with barely any effort.

Wide brown eyes took in the Konoha symbol on Kakashi's hitai-ate, and Subject immediately relaxed and drew away. "S-sorry, shinobi-san," he bowed politely. "You startled me."

"What do you think you're doing outside of the village?" the ANBU scowled. "A little boy like you shouldn't be out here alone."

"I'm not a little boy," the little boy had the nerve to contradict. "I turned eleven last week, and I'll be graduating from the NinjaAcademy soon. Then I'll get to go fight in the war."

Subject waved an arm at his equipment, and Kakashi noted the way the boy's eyes lingered a bit over the scroll before snapping back to the teen. "I was just training. We're not even that far outside the gate; there are still traps and sentries around."

"Fine," Kakashi shrugged. If the kid wanted to be stubborn, it was not his responsibility to play babysitter. "Get yourself ready to fight in the war if you can. But you'll have to do it somewhere else. This is my training ground."

"I don't see your name on it," the brat retorted cheekily. He looked at Kakashi who, being almost three years his senior, was a few inches taller. "I was here first."

Kakashi had no patience for children. Instead of replying, he walked toward the boy's equipment with every intention of throwing it into the surrounding thicket. However, the boy's reaction when he touched the scroll gave him some pause.

"Don't touch that!" the child cried out in a near panic. He raced up to Kakashi. "Give it back."

The ANBU examined the scroll for a moment and noted the intricate seals. "What's so important about it?"

"Nothing," the boy replied quickly. "It's just that, it's the main reason I came out here. I want to learn the techniques inside." The answer was innocent enough, but the boy's flaming cheeks and guilty expression promised a more interesting story.

"And why isn't there anyone to help teach you, hm?" Kakashi inquired. "You stole this scroll, didn't you?"

"No!" the pre-genin denied far too quickly and vehemently.

"How about I take a look inside and find out?"

"You can't."

The child's reply came back so confidently that the ANBU paused to hear his reasoning.

"You won't be able to open that. It's my father's, and he says only a person with Umino blood can open it. It belongs to my family."

Kakashi further examined the scroll and took note of the blood seal. Still, he was suspicious. "If it belongs to your family, why did you need to steal it?"

"I…I'm not stealing it, just borrowing it a little earlier than I'm supposed to. It'll be mine when I turn thirteen." The Umino child rubbed the back of his neck and grinned. "I'm actually going to surprise my parents for their anniversary this October by learning at least one technique from this scroll. I got their letter saying that they should be back on furlough by then, and mom's always telling me the greatest gift I can ever give them is to become the best ninja I can be!"

Somehow, the boy's words pained Kakashi, but rather than dwell on it or try to discern the source of that emotion, he glared at Umino condescendingly. "Learn a technique from the scroll?" He repeated glibly, "Kid, you won't even figure out how to open it in four months time."

Iruka glared at him. "Yes I will!"

The ANBU could tell that the seals, while not anything absurdly difficult to get through, were beyond what an Academy student could ever hope to disengage. "No, you won't. You see kid, you'll need more than just Umino blood to access this scroll. You also need skill." He tossed the scroll into the boy's arms.

In the instant Umino caught the scroll, Kakashi teleported behind him and held a kunai to his throat. Bringing his masked face close to the boy's ear, he whispered. "And while I can easily obtain some Umino blood if I so desired, you'll find it significantly more challenging to acquire skill."

The scent of the boy's fear stung Kakashi's nose, and he released him. "Some warrior you're going to be," Kakashi scoffed. This child had a long way to go before he'd be ready for the field. "Now beat it."

Umino's body shook from both fear and outrage. "Being a genin doesn't give you the right to push me around, you jerk!"

"What about being a jounin?" Kakashi smirked.

He furrowed his eyebrows and seemed on the verge of calling him a liar, but Kakashi could almost see the gears turning in the boy's mind as he took in the slanted hitai-ate and cloth mask. Then the warm brown eyes widened in recognition. "You're…you're…"

The ANBU waited to be identified as Sharingan Kakashi, or perhaps the son of White Fang.

"You're Minato-ojisan's student!" He finished finally.

"Uh…yeah…" It was odd to hear his old sensei, the Fourth Hokage, called "uncle" by some random kid. But then, Minato treated the villagers like they were all his family.

Iruka wavered. His parents would be upset to know that he'd been back-talking a jounin. And his father would rebuke him for being rude to Minato's student, which he'd see as a reproach on the Fourth Hokage himself.

"All right, um, shinobi-san." He blushed at having suddenly forgotten this famous ninja's name, but he was really flustered. "You can use the field first." He gathered his things and moved off the edge of the clearing, seating himself in the shade of a great oak tree.

Kakashi frowned. "What are you doing?"

The boy looked up from where he'd been fiddling with the scroll. "I'm waiting," He replied matter-of-factly, running his fingers over one of the seals as he scrutinized it. "I figure by the time I get this open, you'll be done training and then it'll be my turn."