A/N: Holy crap, I've been working on this thing for SO long and it's finally finished. This is the longest one shot that I have ever written, and it will not be continued, this is it for this story.
Disclaimer: I don't own VK. Nor do I own the scene of Yuuki's dream, cause that's a scene in the manga/anime, and I copied it word for word, action for action.
WARNING: If you haven't read up to Chapter 47 of Vampire Knight, then you will not want to read this, there are spoilers.
The Truth Behind The MaskAnother night, another city.
Kuran Yuuki sighed as she walked into the front door of the mansion they were staying it. It had been about two months since she, Kaname, and the others left the academy. They had never stayed in one place for too long, they moved continuously from city to city, finding abandoned mansions to stay in for a week or two. She was just starting to get used to this new renegade lifestyle of hers, though it felt unusual to be living out of a suitcase.
"Hello Yuuki-sama."
Ugh. That stupid name. She hated it. She really wished that people would stop calling her it. Don't misunderstand; she understood completely that now that she held the name "Kuran" it was only their duty to treat her with such respect. It's just that it felt so…fake.
She sighed, waving politely to Kain as she walked into the kitchen. Her hands pushed through her hair, pulling it to the back of her head and then tugging the elastic band off her wrist and tying the long brown locks back. She pulled open the fridge and started to rummage through, searching for something to snack on. She wasn't entirely hungry, and she didn't really crave blood, just…something to put in her mouth. To keep her hands busy.
"Oh, Yuuki-sama."
She looked up and smiled at the older girl. Ruka bowed her head a little, and then walked to the counter.
"Are you hungry? I can make you something if you want."
"Oh," Yuuki shook her head and pulled out an apple from the drawer. "That's alright, I was just looking for something to snack on really."
Ruka raised an elegantly shaped brow. "You might want something more than an apple."
"No, I'm fine, really. I like apples." The younger girl nodded once and then made a B-line for the door.
It wasn't that she didn't like Ruka. It wasn't that she didn't like any of them. She really did enjoy the fact that the Night class felt it was their duty to follow them. They were so very loyal, and she valued them so much. But…regardless…
"Yuuki-sama!"
The girl sighed, ignored Aidou, and grabbed her bag next to the door. She shoved the apple into her mouth, holding it between her teeth like she were a stuffed pig, and then swung open the door and met the night air.
She hopped down the porch steps and ran down the brick pathway. She needed to get away. To get away from all the Yuuki-sama's, to get away from being hounded, to get away from being treated like glass.
She sighed, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. God, how did Kaname live like this?
Kaname…She looked back at the house. If she didn't come home in the morning, he would wonder what happened. He'd be worried. She didn't want to make him worried, but she was annoyed with him. That was why she left in the first place, when she came back she thought she could get some peace, but then all the nobles flocked.
She sighed and looked away, continuing to walk down the sidewalk. If she could just have some time to herself, where she could take off this mask of superiority, where she could just be Yuuki.
A few cars passed by her on the road; she didn't expect many what with it being three in the morning. Her hand dipped into her bag, and she pulled out her cell phone. She wanted…she wanted…
Her lower lip went into her mouth, and she bit down on it softly as she thumbed through the contacts on her phone. Finally she got to the name that made her heart feel warm and brought a smile to her lips. She pressed down on the send button and brought the phone to her ear as she continued to walk.
It rang once.
What if he was sleeping?
Twice.
Oh crap, she didn't think this through.
Thrice.
Maybe she should just hang up-
"Hello?"
His voice. She felt tears start to cloud her eyes. She hadn't heard his voice in so long. Suddenly, she was eight years old again, being tucked into bed and kissed on the forehead. Her voice was very soft, and very loving.
"Hi Daddy."
"Yuuki!"
"I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Oh no!" Chairman Cross sounded thrilled that she had called, actually. "I was just up reading a very good book. How are you? How's Kaname? You're being safe, right? Has he made you cry? Do I need to go and pull rank on him and remind him that I'm the Daddy?"
She laughed lightly, hugging herself in a small bit of comfort.
"Which question do you want me to answer first?"
"Whichever!"
She could see him in her mind's eye. Blonde hair pulled back into two pigtails, glasses falling down the bridge of his nose as he sat at the kitchen table with a mug of tea in front of him, his cheeks glowing bright red with excitement and care.
"Well," She cleared her throat and watched her feet as they moved across the pavement. "Kaname is…about as good as Kaname can get, given our nomad situation. Yes, we are being very safe; we never stay in one place for too long. No, he hasn't made me cry at all. But I think the thought of you pulling rank on him is rather amusing."
He laughed loudly, and then paused and his voice took a stern tone.
"And you?"
"What about me?"
"How are you?"
She sniffed, looking around her as if there were some way to escape his question without lying. She could never lie to the chairman; it was impossible for anyone to do.
"I'm…that's actually why I called…"
"Oh no, what is it?"
Yuuki brought her hand to her lips, biting down on the nail of her thumb softly before answering him.
"Father…could I stay with you for tonight? I just…I need to get away. I feel…crowded, and I need some space. Someplace safe…"
Cross paused on the phone, and she could tell he was mulling over the options, the decisions, and the outcomes of said decisions. She heard the soft ting of a metal spoon bouncing against the teacup she knew was there, and then he sighed.
"Of course you can come. I'd love it if you'd come. In fact, please do come."
Yuuki smiled, and nodded, then realized that he couldn't see it.
"Okay, yeah, I'll catch the next train. Thank you."
"Anything for you, Yuuki."
She hung up the phone, his words echoing in her head. How many times have people said that to her? Her mind wandered to Kaname, and she lifted her hand to hail the next taxi that came bumping down the road. When it stopped in front of her, she got in and told the driver to take her to the train station before she flipped open her phone and started a new text message.
To: Kaname
From: Yuuki
I need some time alone. I'm safe, don't worry.
She hit send and then closed the phone, leaning her head against the glass as they road down the street. The cabbie looked in the rear view mirror at her before looking back out onto the rain-slicked road.
"What's a pretty girl like you doing out this late?"
She glanced at him and shrugged. "I was with people. Felt like getting away."
"Oh yeah? To the train station? It's not so safe this time of night."
Yuuki laughed softly. "I think I'll be okay. I'm going to go see my father."
"You don't live with him?"
"No," She sighed. "I live with my…my fiancé."
"Fiancé?" The cab driver whistled and grinned at her. "How long have you two been together?"
She smiled, her finger tracing the outline of her phone. "That depends…romantically or…known each other?"
"Both."
Yuuki straightened up in her seat, staring at him through the mirror. "I've known him all my life. Every day for sixteen years."
"Sixteen, my God, you're just a kid. How old is this guy? He's not a cradle robber is he?"
Something about that made her laugh out loud. Just the thought of Kaname being a cradle robber. She snorted and shook her head.
"No, he's eighteen. But we've been together romantically for about three months now."
"And this kid is your fiancé?"
"Mmhmm. It's just one of those things. When you know, you know. And I know."
Her phone made a beeping noise, and she looked down at it, and then flipped it open to read the new text message.
From: Kaname
To: Yuuki
Take your time. I'll be waiting.
I love you.
She shivered at the last sentence written and closed her phone, shoving it into her bag as they hit a traffic light. The cabbie tapped his fingers along the steering wheel, and for some reason she thought the sound was comforting. Her eyes noticed the ring on his left hand and smiled.
"How long have you been married?" She questioned.
The driver laughed and tilted his head toward a picture of him and a woman with short black hair. She was very pretty, and very much a vampire. A lower ranking one, from the looks of it. She didn't hold that 'noble' air about her. They were looking at each other, loving smiles on their faces.
"My Akane and I have been together forty two years."
Yuuki scooted forward in her seat so she could rest her arm against his armrest; thoroughly enjoying a nice, light conversation with a stranger.
"Have any kids?"
"Seven of them." He gave her a 'yeah, I know' look, and then backed it up with: "All girls."
"Oh my!" Yuuki laughed.
"Yep. The youngest of them just turned ten."
"That's a good age to be. I enjoyed being ten. I learned how to dance when I was ten…and stepped on my partner's feet a lot."
The older man laughed, and turned the corner, glancing over his shoulder at her. "He yell at you for it?"
"Oh no!" She shook her head rapidly, her cheeks brightening red. "No, he just smiled and said that I was pretty light so it didn't hurt…I'm pretty sure he was lying. I mean, no one can have their feet stepped on seventeen times and not hurt."
"He sounds like a good guy, this boy of yours."
"He is." Yuuki's voice sounded incredibly firm. A warm sensation shot through her core, as it always did when she thought of Kaname. Yes, he was a good man. A dear, sweet, loving, strong man.
"He is." She repeated.
"Well," They came to a stop. "Here we are."
Yuuki nodded and scooted back, grabbing her bag and pulling out more money than was really generous to give to the man. She handed it to him folded up, so he wouldn't know just how much she enjoyed his company, and then opened up the door.
"Hey kid."
She glanced back at him. He gave her a very stern look, one that she was certain he had probably given each of his seven daughters. It was the look that all fathers gave their children, she had seen it many a time on her own father's face. Both of her fathers.
"Yuuki, the wall is not for coloring on." Haruka's voice chimed in her head.
"Yuuki, don't touch that, it's hot!" The chairman commanded.
"Be safe, keep your nose clean." The cabbie insisted.
Yuuki nodded and smiled at him, lifting her hand to shake his. He had a firm grip and he used both his hands to shake hers.
"I will," she promised. "Um…"
"Toshiki." He supplied.
"Toshiki." She nodded again. "I'm Yuuki. Kuran Yuuki."
She let go of his hand and slid out of the car, not missing the shock that was painted upon his face. Of course, if his wife were a vampire, he would know exactly what the name Kuran meant, and exactly who she was. The wind whipped across her face as she made her way into the station, glancing at when the next train would leave. In about seven minutes, eh? If she ran, then she could make it to the platform.
………..
"YUUKI!!!"
As soon as she walked through the door, she was smacked in the face with a warm, scratchy, wool shawl that was draped over her warm, tall, scratchy-cardigan-wearing father. His arms wrapped around her in a bone-crushing hug, and lifted her up off the ground. She laughed, coughing slightly, before snaking her around his shoulders and hugging just as tightly.
He buried his nose in her shoulder for a moment laughing into her coat before setting her on the ground. He took a step back, holding her at arm's length to frown at her through the lenses covering his eyes.
"You should have called sooner. A nice weekly call of "Hey Dad, what's up? I'm not dead." Would be really good for my nerves, you know?"
She giggled and shifted from foot to foot. "Hey Dad, what's up? I'm not dead."
"Good to know." He laughed and wrapped his arms around her, steering her into the house. She sighed happily and leaned against his chest.
"Are you hungry?" The Chairman questioned. "I have some leftover liver that I could take out. Oh I could make some corn and rice too!"
"Um…" Her stomach firmly rejected that idea. "No thanks, I uh…I already ate."
He nodded and leaned against the wall, staring at her for a few moments with a fond smile before he chuckled and took off his glasses, lightly rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"Gosh, you look more and more like her every day."
"Who?"
"Your Mom."
Oh…
Yuuki smiled lightly, and looked at her reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall. Did she really? They had they same eyes, she supposed. Though really she had more of her father's nose. She had her father's stick straight hair as well. Kaname was the one who had Juri's curly locks. She really envied him for that. But yes, she could rather see the resemblance. She and her Mother held the same petite bone structure and facial expressions.
Yuuki tucked a few strands of her hair behind her ear as she sighed. Did her Mother have to deal with living in the spotlight all the time too? Did she get into a lot of fights with her Father? Yuuki suddenly longed to ask all these questions to someone that had been dead for a good amount of years.
"So," The Chairman smiled and led her into the kitchen. "What brings you back home?"
The young girl plopped down at the seat across from his at the table and shrugged. "I just missed you so much." She grinned.
"Ohh!" Cross winked at her as he sat down and lifted his tea to his lips. "Well if you aren't just the cutest liar I've ever seen."
Yuuki laughed and leaned her elbow on the table, resting her head in her hand. "I did miss you though."
"Well that's good. I missed you too."
She looked at the book that was next to his plate and craned her neck a little to read the title. "Is it good?"
Her Father glanced down and shrugged slightly. "It's slow starting, but it's promising so far."
Yuuki nodded and looked around the kitchen. It hadn't changed. Not a single thing about this place had changed. She inhaled deeply and smiled at the comforting warmth that washed over her. She had missed this house. She missed the chairman. She missed creeping down the stairs at two am and trying to sneak cookies back to her room only to have Zero magically appear behind her to tell her that she needed to go back to bed.
Zero…
Yuuki bit her lip and traced the pad of her finger across the smooth surface of the tabletop. "Chairman…how's Zero doing?"
The blonde man put down his cup and sighed, leaning back in his chair and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "He's…he's as fine as he can be, given the situation. He checks in every now and again. You know, to let me know that he's alive."
His daughter didn't miss the playful personal shot at her and she laughed. "I'm sorry! I promise I'll call from now on!"
Cross laughed with her and reached across the table to grab her hand lovingly. She remembered when her hand was so small it barely covered his palm. Her fingers curved over his and she squeezed lightly.
"But…where…" She paused, unsure of how exactly to word this question.
"Where does he get his blood now?"
Yuuki's eyes widened, but she nodded. "Yeah…I mean…I'm not here anymore."
The Chairman brushed his thumb across her knuckled and smiled fondly at her. His Yuuki, she came to him with her own troubles, and yet she was still thinking of others.
"He gets his blood from me when he needs it."
Silence rang through out the room and the girl blinked at him, her hand dropping his as she giggled slightly.
"Sorry," She laughed. "That just…puts a weird picture in my head."
"Well!" Her Father protested. "I doubt it's the same as when he took from you! But he needs blood sometimes, and he doesn't want to hurt anyone, so I told him to come to me. At least for now, I have a friend over at the hospital who said that he can donate one or two packets of blood every month."
"Oh." Yuuki nodded. "That's nice of him."
Honestly, how Zero was getting his blood had been a worry of hers ever since she left him. But she was glad that he still was in touch with the Chairman enough to take from him. Poor Zero…she wondered what he was doing now.
"He's in town, actually."
Yuuki blinked and followed the man with luminous brown eyes as he let go of her hand and stood up, taking his teacup to the sink. He turned on the faucet and washed it out before setting it on the counter and turning to face her. His glasses seemed to hit the light in such a way that it made them gleam slightly and cover his kind gold eyes.
"In a hotel, down on Willow Avenue."
She sighed and turned away from him. "Why are you telling me this?"
The Chairman shrugged and sighed, taking his glasses off and rubbing them with the sleeve of his coat. "I guess…you sounded so tired on the phone…I wanted you to know that the place you used to go to with problems is around."
The place she used to go to with problems. She snorted internally. She used to go to Zero, and if she had it her way, then she would still be going to him. But the idiot just HAD to make them enemies. He was so rash sometimes…but when he made a decision he stuck to it, and there was no possible way that she could go run to him crying now.
"I'm tired." She admitted and sighed, raising her eyes to meet those of the man who took care of her for ten years. "Is my room…?"
"It's exactly the same. I haven't changed anything."
She smiled and nodded, scooting her chair out and leaving her bag on the table as she walked out of the room. She didn't want to get into it with the Chairman about Zero right now. She wanted a hot shower and some soft pajamas. Making her way into the bathroom, she closed the door behind her and stripped down, leaving her clothes sprawled out on the floor. Nimble fingers tugged the elastic band out of her hair and set it on the counter before she stepped into the tub. She turned the faucet on and pulled up the plug so that her skin was doused with hot water and steams rose up around her.
Why did the Chairman even mention Zero anyway? It wasn't like the guy would want to see her. He told her he was going to kill her! But then again, her hands stopped shampooing her hair as she thought for a moment, would he really do it? Was Zero really planning on killing her? Or did he have something else in mind? It would be foolish to go and see him after what he said. He would probably pull his gun on her and shoot her on the spot.
"AH!"
Okay, note to self: Do not stop and ponder important issues when shampoo is slipping off your hair and into your eyes. It hurts. A lot.
Yuuki dipped her head under the showerhead and let it wash the sting away from her, hissing as she refrained from lifting her hands and rubbing her eyes.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Great, just another thing for her to blame Zero for. She should go to his dumb hotel room! She should go and yell at him! Tell him that he was being stupid! And just because she was a vampire that was no reason for them to stop being friends! And he was a jerk! And he got shampoo in her eyes, which still really hurts!
Yeah! What a jerk!
That was it, first thing after she took a nap she was going to go to his stupid hotel and poke him in his stupid chest and yell at his stupid face and demand that he stop being so incredibly stupid!
The girl turned off the water and tugged the towel off of the bar next to the shower, frowning and nodding at her inner resolve before rubbing herself clean and wrapping the cloth around her, exiting the bathroom and going to her room.
The chairman waited in the living room for her, listening with a smile as she muttered to herself in her bedroom about stupid boys and stupid men who make rash decisions. When she came into the living room, he grinned at her.
She put her hair into two wet braids and had her blue long sleeves and pants on. She saw him and smiled back, feeling once more like she was a small child.
"All clean?" He questioned.
She nodded and walked forward, sitting on the couch next to him before falling over and resting her head on his lap. She curled her legs up against her chest and wrapped one arm around them, resting her other hand on his knee next to her face.
He pulled the blue and purple afghan blanket off the back of the couch and spread it out over her, tucking it under her chin before he laid his hand on her head and started lightly petting her hair.
Yuuki's eyes begin to drift shut, and the last thing she remembered before sleep took her was the comforting embrace of her father.
The sharp prick of fangs sliding into her neck. A soft tongue lapping the blood that fell from her throat. Strong arms embraced around her and her breath was shaking as a comfortable feeling washed over her.
A dream? No. A memory.
But this wasn't the same feeling she got when Kaname bit her. No, this must be…
Zero…
The fangs retracted from her neck, and large hands grabbed her shoulders and held her away from him as he looked angrily at her.
"Why don't you resist it?!" He demanded. "I can't keep living unless I keep taking your blood like this…"
As if to prove his point, he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth, removing all traces of her blood from his lips.
"Don't you get it?!" He glared. She needed to understand, he had to make her understand. "You're a victim, Yuuki!"
But she didn't. He was wrong. He was so very, very wrong. You're the victim here, Zero. She wanted to say. His hands came on her shoulders, and his eyes pleaded with her.
"Zero…"
"So you have the right to make me suffer through things! However much you want to make me worry, however much you want to get involved in dangerous things, do it as much as you want!"
Her lips parted slightly as his brow furrowed. "But even with that it's not enough to make up for what you've done. Even if the rest of my life was spent doing things for you, I don't have any complaints."
…But you did. You did have a complaint, Zero. Yuuki thought. You said this to the human. All these words. But…suddenly, my blood changes, and with the waves of that change comes the tide to wash all your sweet words away.
Yuuki's eyes came open, and she was pulled away from her lucid dream and thrust into the living room of her old home. She was still on the couch, but the chairman wasn't there, instead a pillow was placed where he once sat. She sighed and scratched the top of her head before she sat up and shrugged the blanket off of her.
"Chairman?"
She looked around before standing and walking out of the living room and down the hall until she reached the kitchen. She saw a small piece of white paper on the table and went forward to read it.
Yuuki,
Had to do some errands in town. Hope you slept well. Do make up with Kaname for whatever fight you two had. Call more next time!
Love,
Father.
P.S. Zero's room number is 312 at Maple Inn.
Yuuki sighed and shook her head, but smiled anyway. What on earth was she ever going to do with that man?
………..
She rubbed sweaty palms against her blue jeans and looked at the door in front of her.
This was a bad idea. She suddenly forgot all the things she wanted to yell at him for. Her sneakers squeaked slightly on the hard wood floor as she shifted her feet and bit her lip staring at the door. Fingers fiddled with long sleeves and she sighed, lifting her hand up to knock on the door.
As soon as her hand rose, the door opened and her breath caught in her throat.
Kiryuu Zero stood in front of her looking exactly the same, if not a little bit annoyed. But then again, Zero looked annoyed about 80% of the time. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door jam, as he looked her up and down, from her loose long hair to her converse shoes.
"Hello Yuuki."
Her breath came out in a whoosh and she swallowed her fear as she looked up at him.
"Hello Zero."
"Didn't know you had such a death wish."
Despite the harsh words, and the scene that they brought back to her memory, Yuuki felt a tingle run through her when he spoke. She sighed and frowned up at him, matching his posture by crossing her arms over her chest and shifting all her weight on her left foot.
"I don't." She replied.
Zero sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He clearly did not want to be having this conversation.
"I told you," He murmured. "I told you that the next time I saw you I'd kill you."
Yuuki looked down to the floor, her arms uncrossing and hanging limply at her sides in the most defeatist pose. She looked back up at him, and he was hit with the large, wet eyes that were so very pleading and lost. He couldn't count the number of times that she had given him that look, but he could always remember how they made him feel.
"Zero," Her voice cracked and she paused before she spoke again. "Zero, I just…I'm not coming to you as an enemy here, okay? I just need…I just need to…can I come in, please?"
He struck her with a blank look for a moment, and uncomfortable silence sat between them until finally he yielded to her. He turned around and walked into the room, leaving the door open and letting her follow and close it behind her. He went to the queen sized bed in the middle of the room and sat down on the end of the mattress, leaning forward so his elbows rested against jean clad legs.
She stood awkwardly in front of the door for a moment, looking around the hotel room before spotting an armchair next to the small table by the window. She went and sank down on the cushion, placing her bag on the table next to her. The pad of her thumb went into her mouth and she pressed it against her teeth softly as she waited for him to speak. A good three minutes of silence passed before she sighed and dropped her hand down to her lap.
"How've you been?" She inquired softly.
A dry chuckle escaped Zero's lips and he raised a brow and looked over at her. "Really?"
The pureblood shrugged and swallowed roughly. This suddenly seemed like a very bad idea. How could she have thought to seek comfort with Zero? He wasn't her friend anymore. Of course she still thought of him as her Zero, as the boy who would always be her best friend, but he clearly didn't feel the same.
"I've been…busy." He replied quietly. He sighed through his nose and leaned back on the bed, placing his hands behind him to hold him up. "What about you? Vampire life not so fun?"
Could he read her that well? She grazed her teeth over her lip and shrugged. "It's…different. I'm…I'm adjusting, I suppose is the word for it."
He nodded once, and silence flooded the room once more. Zero cleared his throat and stood up, pacing the room slowly before he finally turned and faced her. His hands went into his pockets and he frowned.
"Look, Yuuki, why are you here?"
The younger girl sighed and tears stung her eyes as she shrugged once more. God what was wrong with her? With everyone else she had learned to stand tall and never cry, and suddenly with Zero it was like she was a child again…like she was human again.
"I needed to get away…from them. Everyone always addresses me as 'Yuuki-sama' and does what I say, and worries that I'm going to punish them, and whenever I'm in the room everyone is watching me. It's like they're waiting for me to mess up. Or waiting for me to burst into tears and run away."
"Isn't that what you did?"
Her mouth shut closed with a snap. She…wouldn't have put it quite like that. She didn't burst into tears. But you did run, she reminded herself. But the way Zero worded it; it just made her sound so weak. Like she was some little emo kid who couldn't take her life. But that's why she went to Zero. Because she knew that he would be the last person in the world to treat her with respect and honor. He wouldn't say things that she wanted to hear, he would tell her what she needed to hear. Even if what she needed to hear was an insulting truth.
"I guess you're right." She whispered.
Zero sat back down on the bed, watching her all the while. It was as if he expected her to take a knife out of her shoe and slash him with it at any moment.
"Why didn't you go to Kuran with all these worries? He's your…" Zero sighed and rolled his eyes. "He's the one you can go to with worries and fears, right?"
Yuuki frowned and suddenly a hard look came to her eyes. "Because Kaname does it too! Not as bad as the others, he doesn't address me as 'Yuuki-sama' or anything. But he always seems to agree with me! He gives me whatever I want! I swear if I told him I wanted a pink elephant, he'd find a way to dye an elephant pink and give it to me! It's like…it's like he's afraid of me."
Zero had to laugh at that. "Afraid of you? Please, you're short and clumsy. Oh yeah, you're a fearsome beast, Yuuki."
"I know it sounds silly," She rolled her eyes. "But that's what it feels like. He keeps appeasing me and telling me things that are nice about me. Doing what I want all the time, giving me what I want all the time. We never…we never argue or anything. He always agrees with me. I mean, I know that he loves me. But if you love someone so much shouldn't you be the one person that they can count on to tell them when they're being stupid?"
Honestly! She fumed. What was with that man anyway?
"Did you tell Kaname this?"
Yuuki didn't know what surprised her more, the fact that he spoke so calmly, or the fact that he addressed her older brother by his first name. She met his eyes and shook her head lightly.
"We…kind of got into an argument. A one-sided one anyway. We were talking, and he said to me 'whatever you want, I'll give you, just say the word and it's yours.' And I just…looked at him. And I realized that he couldn't possibly feel this way all the time. He wears a mask around everyone. Even with me. It's as if he's been 'Kaname-sama' for so long, he doesn't know how to turn it off when he's alone with me. So I just…"
Tears stung her eyes and she placed her arms on the table next to her and rested her chin on them. When she spoke, Zero's heart actually contracted again. Because she used that voice, that broken, lost voice that he always hated to hear.
"I just said to him 'I'm tired'…and I left. I walked out. I went to the Chairman. Zero what…" She sniffed and tears started to slide slowly down her cheeks. "What am I supposed to say to him after that? How am I supposed to go back there and face him when I…when I don't even know what I'm facing?"
The hunter sighed and stood up. He walked over to her and knelt down in front of where she sat. He could smell the salt from her tears and it hurt to see her like this. He had thought he was leaving her in good hands. That's why he could say goodbye to her, that's why he was able to lock away his feelings for her. But here she was, in his hotel room, crying to him because she didn't know what to do with Kaname.
Here he was, back at the academy, playing the role of the best friend while the girl he loved so dearly cried about a man that wasn't him.
High school never ends; Zero rolled his eyes and placed his hands on her knees, waiting patiently for her to face him. He really shouldn't be doing this. He should just leave her; he should tell her that her problems are of no concern to him anymore. She left him and she should just get out. Live with her decisions and what comes from them. Don't come to him looking for comfort anymore.
But he couldn't say that. He couldn't say that when Yuuki was alone with him and looked so…childlike. He couldn't turn her away when she was crying. He couldn't turn her away when she had come to him for help. He couldn't…because the sight of her tears made his locked emotions consume him, and he was in love with her all over again.
Even if she wasn't in love with him.
"Listen." He sighed. "Men…all men…human or vampire, we're kind of…idiots."
Yuuki laughed, and sent him a watery smile that made him smirk.
"Yuuki…Kuran is an idiot too. Just like the rest of us who hail from Y chromosome land. Did you ever think…that maybe the reason he doesn't stop acting like a pompous pureblood even with you-"
"He's not pompous, Zero."
"Whatever." He frowned. Kuran would always be pompous to him, didn't matter how she saw him. "Did you ever think that he doesn't stop being Kuran-sama because he's afraid that you'll hate who he is when he's not all leader-like? All we've ever seen of the asshole is him controlling the night class, being clingy to you, and smacking Aidou around…which honestly, the last part wasn't too bad to see, but still."
Yuuki let his words sink into her. Was he really scared of that? But…but he was Kaname, she was Yuuki. How could he possibly be worried that he could do anything that would make her not like him?
"But…" She wiped her face with the back of her sleeve. "But he should know that I'll care about him no matter what."
"Does he?" Zero raised a brow. "Have you said that to him?"
"…No."
The silver haired young man shrugged. "Then how is he supposed to know that? He's not going to know anything for sure, unless you tell him. Communication and all that."
She was so stupid. God, how could she be so stupid? Has she even told Kaname that she loves him? Has she ever spoken the words since they left the Academy? Kaname must have said them to her every week, every time he got the chance to, but did she ever do the same? Yuuki's brain quickly went over everything that they've gone through since she left the academy, and her stomach dropped to her feet.
"Oh God," Tears stung her eyes for a completely different reason. "I've never…I never said any of that…I didn't…"
"So," Zero stood up and looked down on her, giving the pose of an angel sending a revelation. "How is he supposed to take off the mask with you when you don't take off yours with him?"
She rose to her feet and wrapped her arms around Zero's torso. Her face buried into his chest and cried. He froze for a moment, unprepared for her affection, but yielded and hugged her to him. He was being selfish again; he should tell her that she got what she wanted so she can get the hell out. But his body automatically responded to her touch, four years of spontaneous hugs, slaps on the back, hand holding, and stroking hair was engraved into his muscle memory. As much as he hated it, he had to admit that when it came to Yuuki, he was the puppet and she was the master. His nose buried into her hair and he breathed in her scent before grabbing her shoulders and pushing her away slightly.
Enough, His brain snarled at him, enough now.
"You should go now." His voice was colder than he had hoped it would sound.
She seemed to understand, and she swung her bag off the table and over her shoulder as she smiled up at him, wiping away the tears from her eyes.
"Yeah, you're right." She nodded once. "Thank you, Zero."
He shrugged and followed her as she went to the door. Her hand paused on the handle and she looked over her shoulder at where he stood behind her.
"Zero…?"
"Hm?"
"I…I miss you, you know?"
He wet his lips and opened his mouth to reply before he closed it and sighed. Soft lilac shifted to hard amethyst and he swallowed roughly.
"You should go."
Suddenly, with his words, she remembered all of why she was angry with him. She spun around and faced him, fire in her eyes and her words biting as she spoke.
"Seriously?! I tell you that I miss you and you tell me just to leave?! You know! You're pretty stupid, Zero! You're really stupid! You make stupid decisions because you're close minded! Whenever you say 'we can't be how we were because of all that's happened' just remember that the one who decided we can be how we were is you!"
Zero was slightly taken aback. Wasn't this the same girl who was crying at his hotel table not five minutes ago? And now she was yelling at him calling him stupid? Holy mood swings batman.
"You decided how we were, Yuuki. Not me." He snarled back at her.
She backed off slightly, and thick tension spread between them. She sighed and looked at her shoes.
"…I wish it wasn't like this with us Zero."
"Yeah, well, I wish I had all the soba in the world, looks like we're both going to be disappointed."
Yuuki smiled sadly and nodded. She raised her eyes to meet his. Zero stared at her a moment before his shoulders relaxed and his expression softened.
"I really do miss you Zero." She repeated.
And once again, he replied: "You should go."
I miss you too.
Yuuki bit her lip and nodded again, turning the handle and walking out of the room and down the hallway.
"Yuuki!"
She stopped and turned around, watching him as he leaned out of the doorway and looked at her. His eyes still held their same hard seriousness, but his lips were quirked up in a wry smile.
"The next time I see you…"
She laughed and nodded. "You really will kill me, I know Zero. Don't worry…this was a one time thing, I really am okay now."
He nodded back at her before he disappeared behind the door again.
She sighed heavily and turned around, continuing her way down the hall. How odd that they could actually laugh about the fact that he planned to kill her. Was that normal? She didn't think it was normal. But then again, her and Zero had never had a particularly normal relationship anyway
………..
Yuuki walked into the door, and was immediately met with cold, angry blue eyes.
Aidou was pissed. He stormed right up to her and grabbed her shoulders roughly, looking both relived that she was all right, and angry that she was there.
"Cross Yuuki!" He exclaimed in a slightly higher voice than normal. "Where have you been?!"
She sighed, but smiled at him kindly. She knew that he honestly was worried about her. Out of all of those here, Aidou was the one that she could probably call her friend…probably. Kind of…she supposed. But if that were indeed the case, they had a really unorthodox friendship.
"I was out." She replied.
"Do you know how worried we've been?! Kaname-sama has been so scared that something happened to you!"
"I sent him a message saying I was fine, I just needed some time to myself."
"Unacceptable!"
"Aidou."
The blonde froze, quite literally, at the smooth voice that sailed down from the top of the stairs. He let go of Yuuki's shoulders and stepped away from her. She looked up, and her eyes locked onto Kaname's. She felt a sudden calm rush over her, just by staring at him, just by knowing that he was there. His posture was tense, shoulders held tight, almost as if he was waiting for her to say something that would shut him down completely. They didn't exactly part on the best of terms.
She took a deep breath and took one step forward.
"I'm home."
Kaname's shoulders relaxed instantly, and a relieved smile came upon his lips, his eyes warming with devotion for her.
"Welcome home."
She smiled and started to walk up the steps as he walked down them, meeting half way in the middle of the stairs.
"I think we need to talk." Yuuki whispered to him.
"I think you're right." He replied, and then gently took her elbow in his hand and led her up the stairs to their room. Aidou fumed behind them, grumbling about how he was absolutely not finished with her. But they ignored him and closed the door.
Yuuki dropped her bag by the bookcase as Kaname locked the door behind them. She walked over to the bed and flopped down on it, scooting up until her head reached the pillows and sighed as she inhaled his scent. Incredible. She only had to be gone for one single night, and already she missed him so much. She felt the mattress tilt as he settled beside her, and then she looked over at him.
He was so beautiful. She knew that you weren't really supposed to describe guys as beautiful, but he was. His hair fell around his face in soft, aloof waves. He had these eyes; these deep soul searching eyes that could cut right through her. They shook her; he always had such expressive eyes. Even if his face never changed, his eyes always had.
Right now, staring into his eyes, he looked hurt, but happy that she was with him again.
He rolled onto his side, facing her and copying her position, and rested his forehead against hers. She lifted her hand and stroked his cheek, smiling as he leaned into her touch.
"I have to ask you something."
"Anything."
She took a breath, held it, and then let it out. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer to this question or not. Didn't know if she was ready for the answer, or if he would give an honest one.
She worried her lip between her teeth before looking into those oh so expressive eyes.
"Are you afraid of me?"
He paused, his brows furrowed together, and then he smiled and laughed lightly, his hand coming up to stroke through her hair.
"No." He whispered. "Yuuki…I'm afraid of making you hate me. I don't want to do something wrong to make you hate me. To make you leave."
Her lips parted slightly, and her eyes coated with tears. Oh God, last night she just left, she just went and left and didn't say anything. Just closed the door with a sigh and "I'm tired" and left. How did that make him feel? He must have…Oh Kaname.
A tear escaped her eye, and he brushed the back of his knuckles along her cheek, his smile slowly dying.
"No, please don't cry." He murmured.
"Oh Kaname," She sniffed, rubbing her hand across her eye. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I left I just…"
"It's alright, Yuuki." He laughed lightly. "Really, it's alright. I understand what you needed."
Yuuki sighed, her hand coming over his where it rested on her cheek. She tilted her head up and kissed him softly, chastely, a small brush of her closed mouth against his. Her head pulled down a little, just enough so she could speak, but their breaths mingled and when they whispered it was like they were praying.
"Kaname," Her breath caressed his lips. "I never want you to be afraid of that. I've made my decision, and I'm never going to leave you. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings, because no matter what you say I will always love you. My feelings will not change. I don't want you to be afraid of telling me the truth."
"I've never lied to you." He assured.
"I know," Yuuki's nose brushed against his lovingly. "I know that. But you say things like…like that you'll do anything for me. You agree with me over everything, try to appease me…you don't have to. I'm your…I'm your fiancé. I AM going to be your wife. There will be times that we disagree on something, and we'll butt heads, but then we'll compromise. It's what we have to do. So don't ever hold back how you really feel."
Kaname blinked down at her, his eyes warming and deepening as he stared at her. His fingers intertwined with hers, and he brushed a kiss across her hand. He understood what she was saying. But still…it was so nice to hear it said.
"Out there," She smiled ruefully. "Out there you're Kaname-sama, and I'm Yuuki-sama, and…it's all stone-faced and ruling powers. But with me…please, please, don't be anyone but Kaname. I'm not in love with Kaname-sama. I'm in love with Kaname."
He nodded in agreement, mouthing 'okay' and smiling at her. He pushed his head up, his brows furrowing as his eyes shut. He pressed a soft kiss against the middle of her forehead and held it there for a few moments, letting it wash over her just how much this man truly loved her. She closed her eyes, soaking it in, and when he pulled away she nestled her head under his chin, her nose buried in the soft skin of his throat.
They sat in silence for a while, basking in each other's company and in their new agreement. Slowly, but surely, she felt his walls start to go down. She felt the "Sama" start to fall off his name until simply Kaname sat stripped bare to the bone with her. Raw, and unroyal, nothing but an eighteen-year-old boy.
He laughed softly, holding her to him, and he didn't know why he was laughing. It just felt like…like he hadn't laughed enough. Like he wanted to test it out to see how it sounded, and then when he found out he actually started to like the sound; it continuously bubbled from him. But what he liked most was that it caused her to laugh as well. Because the sound of his honest laughter was so rich and wonderful, like a lullaby that he composed just for her.
Their bodies shook against each other, making them laugh harder until tears stung their eyes and they were out of breath. It felt good, Kaname realized then, to laugh with her. To smile with her, and feel her laughing with him. It felt good…to have this girl against him, with him, to be breathing the same air as her and feel her breath against his neck.
He sighed, kissing the top of her head and breathing in her scent. He sighed, his eyes opening halfway to glance down at the brown head beneath him. Her arms wrapped around his waist, pulling her so that she was so close to him that not a single ounce of air could part them.
"Kaname?"
"Yes love?"
"I…today…I was with Zero."
Kaname sighed into her hair, his smile fading slightly. He stroked the hair under his fingers, idly toying with it as her words settled into him. She waited for his reaction, her lower lip slipping in between her teeth as the silence grew heavy.
"I know." He finally replied.
Yuuki blinked and looked up at him, her brows knitting together slightly.
"You knew? How?"
A long finger slid underneath the hem of her shirt and he tugged it slightly, a rueful smile playing on his face.
"His scent is on your clothes."
She took a deep breath, her fingers going to his upper arm to draw circles along the sleeve of his shirt. "Nothing happened with him, I promise."
"I know." He repeated. "If it had his scent would be all over you. As it is, it's just on your clothes. Besides,"
He cradled her chin between his index finger and thumb and tilted her head to look up at him.
"I trust you, Yuuki."
She smiled at him, nodding a little. She knew exactly what it meant to have Kaname's trust. She was probably the only one in the world that Kaname trusted with his life, but even more than that, with his heart.
"But thank you for being honest with me." He chuckled a little.
Yuuki snorted. "Yeah, I suppose I should be more honest with you about a lot of things."
"Oh?" A dark brow rose. "Like?"
She sighed and then raised her hand and pointed it across the room to the large artwork that was hanging over the fireplace opposite of their bed. Kaname was fairly fond of it; it was a picture of the ocean in the middle of a thunderstorm.
"That picture." Yuuki smirked. "Not a fan of it."
He laughed and rolled onto his back, sitting up slightly against the pillows. "Just what's wrong with it?"
Yuuki's large dark eyes rolled and she tilted her head back with a melodramatic sigh. "Pleeease! Who wants to look at a beach in a storm? That's not calming at all! Plus, it just looks depressing."
"Well," He replied, his tone just as fake-pompous as hers was. "I hate the music you listen to."
"That's fine." She shrugged. "I hated going to those dance things at school. Crowds suck."
"No, I agree with that. I'm not a fan of balls. Never was."
Yuuki laughed and took his hand in hers, her thumb brushing over the back of his hand.
"I vote that we try not to attend as many as possible when all this is over. No balls for us unless we really, really have to."
"I agree." Kaname nodded and smiled at her. His eyes traveled up her relaxed form, moving from her legs to her radiant smile before going back and lingering on the thin strip of skin that was peeking between her shirt and skirt. He smiled and rolled over her, supporting his weight over hers by resting one arm next to her head.
"By the way," He let go of her hand and brushed his fingers against the peeking skin. "I hate this shirt. It really must go."
Yuuki's smile matched his in playfulness and she giggled softly. "Oh really?"
"Yes, very much."
"Hmm," Her fingers toyed with the buckle of his belt and she ran her teeth over her lip slightly as she grinned at him. "Well I hate these pants."
"Say the word and I can burn them."
She laughed, her head tilted back as his lips caressed her throat. Warmth shot through her veins as he nuzzled his nose against her skin before pressing a kiss against the base of her neck. Yuuki sat up, her hands pushing against his chest to get him to move off of her, and slid her arms out of her shirt before slipping it over her head and tossing it off to the side. Her smile grew as his eyes traveled hungrily over her curves before he mirrored her grin.
"I am beginning to love this honesty thing."
She grinned with his laughter as they both tried with difficulty to get his belt loosened from his pants.
"Wait, wait, wait, lie down."
She pushed him back against he bed and inspected the traitorous leather.
"Why did you buy this belt?" Yuuki demanded. "This is a ridiculous belt!"
Kaname put his arm over his eyes as he laughed and groaned. This was actually Aidou's Christmas gift to him last year. He wore it only because he seemed to have lost all his others (he'd be checking Aidou's room for them later). When he informed Yuuki of this, she groaned.
"That's why the stupid thing isn't coming off! It's like a chastity belt or something!"
Kaname laughed harder, mostly because the thought was so very logical coming from Aidou. Finally, his fiancé just got so fed up with it that she ripped the leather in half.
"Got it!" She sang as she pulled it free of the loops so quickly that it flew up and snapped her on the nose. The couple's laughter became boisterous as Yuuki rubbed the raw ache while Kaname sat up and held her head in his hands to inspect it.
"I hate that I'm still clumsy as a vampire." She giggled.
"I hate this belt, and I'm burning it." He replied.
The room was filled with her joyous laughter as he gently tackled her down to the mattress, his hands roaming across her sides and tickling her slightly just to get her to laugh more. If this was what life with Kaname was going to be like, she could really enjoy it. There would be disagreements, arguments, and that would suck. She would hate that. There would be times that she would really grow tired of the role she played, and she would want to get away. She was expecting that.
But if the making up was like this…then she would get through any fight they had for the happiness that lay on the other side.