I decided I needed to update some of my older fics, lol. I had a bit of a writeres block with this story, but I really do love it and I don't want to give up on it.

John sighed as he closed his cell phone. Needless to say that Bobby was more than a little surprised to hear from John. Than the surprise quickly tranformed to shock and horror when he found out what had happened to Sam.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," he quickly promised.

"Thanks Bobby," John said softly. "I mean it." He looked at the window as he watched Dean cleaning Sam's wounds again as his youngest slept. Tears filled his eyes. The idea of his own son being afraid of him....He shook his head, forcing those feeling to be burried again where they belonged. He couldn't show weakness now. He had to be strong. His children needed him to be strong, like he always was. Slowly he walked back inside.

"How is he?"

"The same," sighed Dean. "Say, could you um get some food at the store? I'd like him to eat something." John nodded.

"Good idea, I should have thought of that," he sighed. "There's so many things that I should have..."He swallowed, determined not to finish that setence. Dean stared at him.

"Dad, are you all right?"

John snorted.

"I'm not the one you should be asking that too, Dean."

"Yeah, but you did see your son get raped," Dean told him. "It's okay if you're feeling upset or whatever. It's only human. I'm feeling it too."

John nodded.

"I know that son, thank you." He cleared his throat. "I should head to the store, get some food like you suggested."

Dean nodded as he ran his hands through his brother's hair. As John left Sam moaned in his sleep.

"What did those bastards do to you?" Dean whispered, his voice shaking. "I swear I wish they weren't dead so I could..."He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. He had to remain calm, for Sam.

He sat there and waited for their father to return, grasping his hand tightly around Sam's. He couldn't stop staring at the bruises and scars on his face. He couldn't stop replaying the memory of finding Sammy locked in a cage, curled in a fetas position; stripped naked.

He jumped when the door opened.

"It's only me," John told him softly, carrying in a bag of food. "There was a food-mart across the street. Bobby called me back, said it's going to take him longer than he thought it would to get here."

Dean nodded.

"Any problems while I was gone?" John asked as he sat down the groceries.

"Dad, you were gone for less than a half an hour."

"I know, but still..."

Dean smiled.

"No, no problems." He reached for the bags.

"Got soft foods," John told him. "Wasn't sure with how he'll be about eating. Thought we'd take it slow."

"Good idea," Dean agreed and opened up some pudding and a can of soft fruit. "Sam? Sammy?" He gently shook his brother who woke up with a start, panic in his eyes.

"It's okay Sammyo," he said quickly. "It's just me, you remember me right?" Sam stared at him dully. Dean tried to search for any signs of recogination but couldn't find any. "Look kiddo, I want you to eat something. You don't have to do anything. Just open your mouth and chew and swallow when I say so; okay?" He dished out the fruit. "Can you open your mouth buddy?" Both Dean and John were begining to wonder if Sam could actually hear him at all. But suddenly Sam's mouth opened. "Good boy," Dean praised him as he filled the mouth with the fruit. "Now can you chew for me? Nice and slowly?" Obediently, but silently and dumbly, Sam obeyed and Dean praised him again, while telling him to swallow.

This routine went on until Sam finished both the fruit and the pudding and drank some water. Sam sighed after the meal was over and Dean smiled at him.

"You did good, kiddo." He helped his brother lay back down and hummed softly as he watched Sam drift back to sleep.

"You look like you could use some air," John told him and he hesitated.

"I shouldn't leave him-"

"We'll both be right outside," John said. "Come on, Dean. You need a break. You look like hell."

Dean laughed.

"Thanks." Both quietly steped out and shut the door behind them. Even as they were outside, though, Dean turned and watched his brother through the window.

"Dean," John said quietly and he quietly looked at his father.

"Yeah?"

"You need a break. If not for you, for me. I hate you having to worry about him like this all the time. It's gonna eat you up."

"And you're not?" Dean asked sharply and he frowned.

"Not what?"

"Worrying about him all the time?"

John sighed.

"I worry about you both, and yes right now I am very worried about Sam. But still, that doesn't mean you have to kill yourself by looking after him. You're not go to him dead, Dean. And if you're not careful you will die from exhaustion and worry."

Dean sighed.

"I know, I know. It's just that, the idea of something happening like this. Of me failing-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this about you failing? Failing what?"

"To take care of Sammy." Dean swallowed. "Like you always tell me too. I let him get captured, I-"

"Dean, this isn't your fualt," John said sternly. "I don't want to hear you blame yourself ever again, do you understand me?"

Dean stared at him.

"You shouldn't blame yourself either," he said knowingly. John laughed at that.

"You caught me," he admitted as they slowly started to walk down the sidewalk a bit. "I can't help it though, it's in my job description."

"Well it's in mine too," Dean said firmly and John knew better than to argue with that. Dean froze suddenly, in a middle of a convesration.

"What?" John frowned.

"Do you hear something?"

"Hear what?" John stared at his son worriedly.

"Listen," Dean urged and John strained his ears. His eyes widened as he heard the sound of Sam sobbing and wimpering that was going on in their room. Quickly they pushed the door opened.

Sam had waken to find himself utterly alone. He was in a rocking postion while moaning and banging his head against the wall, clearly terrified.

John started to go towards him but Dean shook his head.

"It might make it worse, dad," he said, his voice apologetic. John stepped back, knowing that was true.

"Sammy? Sammy I'm here, it's okay kiddo. No one left you. I didn't leave you Sammy, I would never left you." In a soothing tone Dean hurried over to his brother and began to rock him back and forth in his arms, forcing Sam's head to stop banging on the wall.

The sobbing quieted and Sam shuddered in Dean's arms, the feeling of safetiness and warmth consuming him. And for the next few minutes Dean rocked his brother back and forth, gently murmuring to him while John watched; wondering if things would ever go back to the way they were.

Hopefully that makes up for not updating so much.