Three Crazy Authors and the Fic they Done Wroted

Written by: DJ Tifa, SuperSatoshi, and Ben ([email protected])

The other two have pen names on FanFiction.net. Enjoy!

Author's note: Hey all, Tifa speaking. This fanfic is what happens when SS, Ben, and myself are high on pixie stix, drunk on Gatorade, and feel like writing a fanfic. Just note that all three of us are writing this so the styles of writing will contrast each other. Oh well, makes it all the more funny. This fic has some shounen-ai in it (I was one of the authors, go figure) and some major innuendos. *snicker* Anyways, read and enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tasuki enters Chichiri's room in the late night. Why he was going there, he's certain to make up a lie. Because...those who have a certain desire for something tend to...lie...oh whatever.

"Chichiri, I can't sleep," Tasuki speaks softly, in a seductive way.

"Then why don't you come over here...no da..."

Tasuki began to tiptoe towards the window, when suddenly there was a large shattering sound. When he looked, he saw an army of cyborg ninjas, with lasers in one hand, and lightsabers in the other, as they began to slice and shoot away with random aim.

One of the ninjas was about to attack Chichiri, when out of the blue, a teenage girl popped into the room. She took out a giant mallet and whapped all of the ninjas to death then zapped them away. She then faced the now very confused Tasuki and Chichiri and said, "Ninjas are evil, ne? Anyway, you two can go back to what you were doing!" she finished with a grin, then disappeared.

Tasuki blinked. "And just what the hell was THAT supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, no da. A lot of people seem to think that all we do in our spare time is have gay sex, no da."

"They do?! Well isn't THAT just sick?!" Tasuki took out a cigarette and lit it. "I refuse to do ANY sexual activity without a raise..."

Gentlemen, gentlemen please, stick to the scripts all right?

Tasuki threw away the cigarette. "Fine, c'mere, Chichiri..."

Then suddenly, for no apparent reason, an army of ninjas materialized from thin air! Only to disappear, never to return again. Ever. Ever, ever, ever. *Cough*

Ever.

*Eh em* I don't write yaoi fics so I'm just gonna...skip this part. If you REALLY wanna know what happened go read one of the 9891723891273891 Tas/Chi yaoi fics on this site. Anyways, after they finished....meditating...they...fell asleep.

Really, they did.

Oh, but that's what you think. Let's be cruel for a brief moment, and show the final SEVEN SECONDS OF THE HOT, HOT MEDITATING ACTION!

During the middle of the night, both Tasuki and Chichiri were awakenened by muffled groans and grunting from Miaka and Tamahome's room.

"Damn, they're so loud, no da!" complained Chichiri with a frown.

"Hey, Chichiri, I bet we can make more noise than they can!" answered Tasuki with a sly smile.

And so, the ENTIRE damn place was kept awake the ENTIRE damn night because of certain groaning, grunting, yelling, etc sounds.

The next morning...

Still bloodshot awake from the horror of the previous night, everybody lay on their backs in their beds, not daring to move, not daring to say anything.

"Uh...Chichir--" didn't you hear me, you moron?! I said NOT daring! NOT!

"What, no da? I'm just getting some food! You perverted, sexy...hot...fang boy..."

Suddenly, loud, heavy footsteps could be heard down the hall as the large door is pushed open, an angry Hotohori entering the room.

"Okay, can ANYBODY explain to me WHAT the hell was going on last night?!"

"Uh, we, it's, uh, simple actually..." Tasuki replied.

"We, uh, were, having a wrestling match, no da!" Chichiri answered.

"...completely naked?"

"EEP!" the two threw themselves under the bed covers.

Hotohori sighed and walked out of the room, mumbling, and slammed the door shut.

"Well...now that he's gone...." Tasuki started, looking at Chichiri with a VERY perverted grin on his face.

Just as tasuki and chichiri started getting 'comfortable' , a HUGE groan of ecstasy came from the next room. "What was that?!" exclaimed Chichiri and Tasuki at the same time

Rushing to the next room, they pulled the door open. "Oh my God!" both exclaimed simultaneously.

On the bed was Chiriko and Ashitare, in a 'meditating' position.

What they didn't realize is that they were staring at a picture of a bizarre painting in the disturbing position, and was underneath was the Tama neko...who seemed to be groaning in pain.

"It's just the cat, no da," Chichiri replied.

"I think he's sick..." Tasuki suggested.

The two then went back to their room, closed the door, and proceeded to get... 'comfortable' again.

Unfortunatly, one of the authors of this fanfic does not want much hentai in this fic, so we'll skip to a few hours later.

Suddenly, Tamahome bursts in the door. "Hey guys, I just saw an ice cream truck drive by! Let's get some!"

"YEAH!" shouted Chichiri and Tasuki, and they all raced downstairs to get some ice cream.

As they walk up front, they all purchase some vanillia ice cream in a plastic bowl and begin to eat with chopsticks. I don't know if it's possible to do that, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Anyway. Later on...uh...because I said so, there was another Star Festival. This time, the people who went were Tasuki, Chichiri, Miaka, Tamahome, Hotohori (under disguise....sorta), and Nuriko.

The characters from FY bump into a ninja girl named Misao Makimachi. "The hell're YOU doing here, Misao? You're in the wrong anime!" screamed Tasuki.

Tasuki then proceeded to chase Misao all around the festival. "Get away from our anime!"

Chichiri suddenly gasped. "Oh crap, no da! I've just remembered!"

"What's wrong, Chichiri?" Miaka asked, finally getting a line of dialogue in this pointless fan fiction.

"Tama neko! We just...ran out on him, we think he's sick, no da!"

"What happened?" Miaka asked again.

"We saw him in a bedroom this morning, he was really sick, and groaning very loudly, no da!"

"You mean all that groaning we heard was Tama neko?" Tamahome asked.

"No duh, no da!"

"...run that by me again?" Hotohori asked.

"Oh, geez, I thought it was you and Chichiri!"

Everyone ran back to the room, just in time to see Tama neko give birth to seven kittens.

"Tama-neko's FEMALE?!" everyone yells in complete, total shock.

Chichiri looked closely at the kittens. "Hmm...they all seem to look like Mitsukake a little, no da..."

Everyone turned to Mitsukake, whose face was completely red. "Umm...well...I was a hermit! I got lonely!"

Hotohori, Nuriko, Miaka, Tamahome, Tasuki, and Miaka simply screamed and ran out, back to the Star Festival. Miaka and Tamahome proceeded to the food court, thanks to Miaka's insisting. Nuriko and Hotohori headed to play some of the games, while Tasuki and Chichiri went to the ferris wheel.

Miaka sat with several dishes of food in front of her. "SUGOI! Now, I am going to eat all of this food VERY fast! Faster than the speed of light! MUHAHAHA, watch me defy laws of physics once again!"

Tamahome blinked once, and all of the food was completely gone. "What the hell?!"

"Hee! I did the impossible again!" Miaka replied, belching afterwards.

Tamahome sweatdropped. "The things writers do for comic relief when it's not necessary..."

Meanwhile...on the ferris wheel, Tasuki and Chichiri climbed in and rolled to the top, when suddenly a loud screech is heard, as the ferris wheel stops.

"Oh no, we're stuck on top..." Tasuki blurted.

Chichiri sighed and asked him, "Well, what now, no da?"

Tasuki grinned and got that usual gleam in his eyes.

"Chichiri, I want you to be honest with me," Tasuki asks.

"Of course, no da!" Chichiri smiles in reply.

Tasuki pulls a box out from his pocket and shows what seems to be an engagement ring and shows it to Chichiri. "Chichiri..."

"...Tasuki..."

"...what do you think the worth of this engagement ring is? I'm sure I can get some MAJOR BUCKS if I sell it as some pawn shoppe for a hefty asking price..." Tasuki chuckled evilly.

Chichiri sighed. "I should have known, no da..."

"Huh? What?"

Suddenly the ferris wheel jerked back in motion and they reached the bottom. At the bottom, Miaka approached the ferris wheel and saw what Tasuki held in his hand.

"Oh my God!" Miaka exclaimed, "are you proposing to Chichiri?!"

Tasuki's face turned the color of his hair. "N-no! I was just wondering how much this ring would sell for!" he stated, smiling his famous fanged grin. Unfortunatly, he wasn't looking next to him and didn't see the extremely sad look on Chichiri's face.

Elsewhere, Hotohori was in a mirror shop, admiring his beauty. Good God, how many times a day does he have to stand in front of the mirror admiring himself. The whole world isn't HIM, you know and, oh whatever.

"Hmph, silly Nuriko, acting as another beautiful man. It's simply clear that I am THE most beautiful man to ever exist in this world..."

He then began to sing to himself. "My loneliness, is killing me...I must confess, I still believe..."

Tamahome groaned. "Miaka, why are we back at the food court?"

"I forgot to get desert!"

"But we're practically broke..."

Back at the hotel, Mitsukake snuck back into Tama neko's room. "Aww, what beautiful children I have," he said to himself, hugging one close. After a while, he fell asleep.

We return to the festival. Phew, the back and forth is making me dizzy. Anyway, Chichiri and Tasuki were walking along trying to find Miaka when they bumped into somebody.

"Oops, I'm sorry ma'am," Tasuki responded.

"It's me, you idiot," Hotohori muttered, rubbing his head.

Tasuki and Chichiri shrugged and headed to the food court. They bought some cotton candy to eat. Just as they were about to eat it, it disappeared.

"What the hell?!" Tasuki exclaimed. He looked and saw Miaka standing near them, with some cotton candy stuck to her mouth.

"Mrrr?" Miaka said, looking at Tasuki and Chichiri with a confused look. "Wasn't me!" she said with her mouth full. "Gotta run!" She dashes off.

Tasuki sighs. "I don't think we'll ever get food this way."

Suddenly, a loud, high-pitched scream was heard in the background.

Tasuki gasped. "What was that?"

"It sounded like a high-pitched girly scream, no da!" Chichiri replied.

"Let's go check it out!"

"Why, no da?"

"Because we're nosy little buggers or something! We ARE anime characters after all, damn it!"

"Oh, right, no da!"

As our two sexy, oh so hot heros dash to the sceen, they see Hotohori, kneeling on the ground.

"Hotohori, no da?!" Chichiri exclaimed.

"Some BASTARD stole my mirror!" Hotohori replied.

Tasuki coughed. "Okay, that's it. Gather everyone, we're going back NOW!"

* * *

"I am NOT going to wear the damn dress!" Tasuki exclaimed.

"Oh come on, no da, one of us has to be the bride!" Chichiri reassured.

"I am NOT going to walk around in make-up and a freakin' bushy dress! I'm not Nuriko, okay?!"

Chichiri sighed. "Then I don't know what we'll do, no da..."

"Well, you're already wearing a dress-thing anyway, why can't YOU wear the stupid dress?"

"WHAT, no da?! This is a robe!"

"Yeah, whatever, it's pretty damn close..."

The priest holding an open bible in front of the two arguing clears his throat. "If you don't mind, Tasuki, you should stop saying such language in the house of God. That four-letter word you said earlier won't work here, either."

"Sorry, sorry, just get to the kiss part, okay?"

"Very well. I now announce you husband and...whatever, you may kiss each other!"

Chichiri and Tasuki kissed, and they lived happily ever after!

There, now that wasn't too bad, now was it? Oh, you'll be thanking us, because you don't want to be around for the 'bedroom scene'. I'm dead serious about that...

THE END!